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posted by Seanthehedgehog
After lunch, Bob went in his room to relax, while Emily, and a few other ponies went on a scavenger hunt around the ship. Soon, Bob heard somepony knocking on his door.

Bob: Come in.
Mildred: *Comes in* I need your help with something.
Bob: What's the matter?
Mildred: It's Burt. He's been bothering me since we came here. I told him not to call me mum, but he got angry with me.
Bob: He didn't try to hurt you, did he?
Mildred: No, but he's probably looking for me, and then he'll hurt me.
Bob: I'll make sure he doesn't hurt you.
Random Pony: *Knocking on door*
Mildred: That's probably him!
Bob: *Opens door*
Random Pony: Hi I'm on a scavenger hunt. Do you have any grey socks, a football, or a long wooden stick?
Bob: No, I don't have any of those.
Random Pony: *Leaves room*
Bob: *Closes door* Now, where were we?
Mildred: I told you that Burt might hurt me if he finds me.
Bob: Well, if he shows up, you just hide somewhere, and I'll tell him that you're not around here.
??: *Knocking on door*
Mildred: That's him, I know it! *Hiding in closet*
Bob: *Opens door*
Random Mare: Hello, I'm on a scavenger hunt. Do you have a photo of Bruno Mars, or a diamond necklace?
Bob: What kind of a scavenger hunt has a diamond necklace?
Random Mare: None, but I thought if I said it fast, you would give one to me. *Leaves*
Bob: *Closes door*
Mildred: *Comes out of closet*

Okay, I know that sounded wrong, but bare with me!

Mildred: I think this is too death defying.
Bob: Mildred, you have to relax. You should take some deep breaths, and if you need to, I'll let you lay in my bed.
??: *Knocking on door*
Mildred: Back to the closet! *Runs in closet*
Bob: *Opens door*
Random Pony 35: Hello, I'm on a scavenger hunt. Do you have a pair of headphones, an Italian flag, or a spear?
Bob: No.
Random Pony 35: Are you sure?
Bob: I think I'd remember packing a spear.
Random Pony 35: *Leaves*
Bob: *Closes door*
Mildred: *Comes out of closet*
Emily: *Enters room*
Mildred: AH! *Sees Emily* Oh, it's just you. I thought it was somepony else.
Emily: What's the matter?
Bob: Mildred, and Burt got in this fight, and now she's concerned that Burt wants to hurt her.
Emily: What are you going to do?
Bob: I'm not sure. I guess we can keep Mildred in here until things get sorted out with her, and Burt.
Emily: Is that alright with you Mildred?
Mildred: Yes! Anywhere from that miserable stallion is a good place to me.
Bob: Alright. I'm gonna go talk to him.

2 B continued
posted by Seanthehedgehog
Tom continued insulting politicians, much to the delight of his audience.

Tom: Presidential candidates are always a good target for comedians to make fun of, but you know what another popular target is? Black Lives Matter.
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: Many black ponies are accusing millions of ponies of the Caucasian race, for something only one police officer did in the Midwest!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Who's the racist now you assholes?!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: And do you really think that every single Caucasian hates blacks?! When did we time travel back to the 18th Century?!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Even the...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
What's a comedy show without politics? Tom is going to make fun of the presidential election.

Tom: I don't know what's worse, this covid pandemic, or the presidential election.
Crowd: Yeah!!!
Tom: I don't trust either Trump, or Biden so I'm not going to vote. *Talks like a filly* But Tom, it's important for the economy!
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Losing jobs, and spending money on taxes is not good for the economy!
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: I don't give a fuck what ponies tell me. I don't trust the president, I don't trust the princess, I don't trust anyone that works for the Equestrian government! Why?...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
After mentioning things you should only do alone, Tom had another segment for his audience to enjoy.

Tom: You know one thing I like to do when I'm alone? Rewatch some episodes of On The Block.
Crowd: *Cheering*
Tom: Not only do I enjoy comedy, but I also enjoy being an actor. It's the only job where you can get away with murder.
Crowd: *Quietly laughing*
Tom: Unless you're Robert Deniro, and the main protagonist is Al Pacino.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom: Seeing those two together was a lot of fun, but what really surprised me was seeing Pacino as a cop. He's normally the criminal, but I still got a kick...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


St. Foalis Maressouri, 6 PM.

A crowd of thousands of ponies gathered at the Gateway Arch to experience a comedy show that was being filmed live in 4k. The comedian? Tom Foolery.

Crowd: *Clapping, and chanting* Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom! Tom!
Tom: *Arrives at a temporary stage under the Gateway Arch*
Crowd: *Cheering, as they continue to clap*
Tom: Thank you everypony.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: Thank you very much.
Crowd: *Continuing to cheer and clap*
Tom: And shut up.
Crowd: *Laughing*
Tom:...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog


Jerry: Sorry, but I got nothing.
Vito: I don't feel like dying. That's the reason we left the family in the first place.
Harlan: *Hears a car* What's that? *Looks out the window*
Vito: What is it?
Harlan: A cop.

The three stallions started to panic, but Vito had a plan.

Vito: I think I know what to do. Go upstairs and let me handle this.
Police Pony: *Rings the doorbell*
Vito: *Opens the door* How can I help you officer?
Police Pony: We got a complaint a while ago. Apparently this morning, some ponies had a gunfight just in front of your house. You know anything about this?
Vito: No. I was riding...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
What to expect in this episode.

Twilight Sparkle: *In a black convertible with two Royal Guards. A bullet hits the door of the convertible they're in*
Royal Guard: Princess, get down!

---

Captain Jefferson: Someone tried to assassinate the princess as she entered our town.

---

Twilight: Why would somepony want me dead?
Toby: That's what we're trying to find out.

---

Tim: *Gets punched three times by a blue unicorn. He gets punched one more time, and his glasses break*

Intro
Song: link

Julia: *Driving her police car on the round freeway*
Tim: *Sitting next to her*

Gran Turismo

Starring Larry Wilcox as Tim...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
What to expect in this week's episode.

Tim: You're splitting us up?
Captain Jefferson: Just until Saturday. Someone's gotta teach the new guys what to do.

---

Pony: *Driving a sports car* Turn on the nitrous.
Pony 2: *Turns on the nitrous*
Pony: *Going faster*

---

Captain Jefferson: These two guys are wanted by the State Troopers, both in this state, and in Pennsylvania.
Tim: *Driving after the bad guys*
Captain Jefferson: We gotta be on our game.
Tim: *Hits another car, and goes on two wheels*

Song: link

Julia: *Driving her police car on the round freeway*
Tim: *Sitting next to her*

Gran Turismo

Starring...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
When Saten Twist returned to Los Angeles in the Super Chief, he saw Jake looking at him.

Jake: *Angry*
Saten: *Sweating* Why is he giving me that look? *Stops the train*
Jake: *Tapping his left front hoof on the ground, waiting for Saten Twist*
Saten: *Climbs down from the engine's cab* Why are you angry at me?
Jake: You owe me an apology for the way you talked to me yesterday.
Saten: John-
Jake: IT'S JAKE!!!!
Saten: Why are you getting angry at me all of a sudden?
Jake: Your lecture towards me made me lose my job, and now I can't find work anywhere else.
Saten: You quit?
Jake: Yeah. I'm still waiting...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!
Robotnik: Snooping as usual I see! *Talks faster* Snooping as usual *Slows down* I see!


Song: link
Celestia: *Runs from the left. She jumps up, her wings spreading wide, then her face gets into the triangle*
Celestia: *Runs from the left. She jumps up, her wings spreading wide, then her face gets into the triangle*


Albuquerque, New Mexicolt. July 19th, 1958

Saten Twist: *Walking towards the Super Chief*
Stallion 16: Here to take this train all the way to Los Angeles?
Saten Twist: *Nods, and climbs into the cab*
Conductor: All aboard!!
Saten Twist: *Blows the horn twice, and makes the train go forward*
This is the train Saten Twist is driving, called the Super Chief. A luxury train for ponies.
This is the train Saten Twist is driving, called the Super Chief. A luxury train for ponies....
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Oh shit, BT's not making fun of someone this time around? (well in an indirect way I might be but let's see where this goes)

Yeah, I don't care if anyone reads this, I just want to get this off of my chest, because I'm gonna try and be real with this site for once and it's 1 AM in the morning.

One thing I've noticed in the time that i've been a part of this club (since like, 2012 or something, idk), is that this club has lost its backbone. The recent year, now, I've been shitposting like mad, pissing in everyone's cornflakes. I have admittedly been the worst kind of person, for NO good reason....
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: facebook, EQD
posted by SomeoneButNoone
My name? Alonzo Langusa. Age when I started operating? 23.


Act II

Vengeance...

Living was hard. I had to hide my name. I had to find a good job yet there was not enough money. Life was rough and it was because of these man. Vincent Galar, Apollo Monetto and Angelo Vertezio. I was taught by ma'am Crossroad not to kill. Yet I wanted to. I wanted vengeance. At age of 15 I started smoking and further drinking at age of 17 until at age of 23 I was kicked from my apartment. I went to Canterlot to find my good old friend her name was Clara. When I came she was shocked. I still remember it.


"Who are you?"...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
It was a cold night like this one when my father smoked his last cigarette in our family house. The night so cold even me myself did not want to go out. The time? As a kid you don't care about that. It was dark, and it was winter. Christmas day. After Equestrian economical fall and industrial boom, everyone changed, the dirty mafias started to leak. My father was part of one of these. A high up. One of important people in Vertezio familia. Still on that night...

Act I

That Night...

"So how was your day outside" Father asked me with a smile. "Good" was all I answered. I was 11 what could I say....
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added by NocturnalMirage
Source: facebook
posted by SomeoneButNoone
Darkness - *burst into room* Bad news! Void was kidnapped!
Dan - What?!
Snowflake - Void...


----
Location - ???
---

Void - *wakes up strapped to some table covered with bandages* What the...
Nyx - Good day VOID. I never thought you will be the first to feel truth.
Void - What are you- *looks at him and see big machine behind him*
Nyx - Ah you see this. My project. Fruit of my reschearch. The best weapon ever. You know - cores are great aren't they. They stay alive for 20 years. But you know what is better in them. Their power. A sheer power that may move body or stimulate brain. And this second thing...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Tim, and Julia returned to the police station.

Captain Jefferson: Tim Miller, and Julia Rose.
Tim: Hello Captain.
Captain Jefferson: I heard about your heroic act on Monday Avenue. Well done.
Julia: Don't give us all of the credit Captain. There were other officers as well.
Captain Jefferson: I understand. When I see them, I'll give them their congrats as well.
Tim: We still on stakeout tomorrow Captain?
Captain Jefferson: That's right. You're on stakeout until further notice.

Next day.

Tim: *Driving his Viper passing Local Consideration*
Julia: Let's check out The Highway.
Tim: *Turns right on Byer Lane*...
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posted by SomeoneButNoone
Epilouge.
----------------
5 Years later.
----
Canterlot
13th May
---
Sandman - 13th of may...
Mare - A really fearful day huh?
Sandman - Damn right. I saw this city burn. I saw it die slowly.
Mare - It's okay. It's not rebuilded fully but it has buty it had before.
Sandman - Maybe but Eiffla tower won't be fixed. New York statue the same.
Mare - You're right on that...
---
Ice - Damn it's hot this may.
Fire - Yeah. It was quiet hot that day too.
Ice - Damn right.

----
Colt - Dad tell me about the war!
Damien - Well your dad fought for city we live in - Canterlot. You know it was hard but your daddy wanted to...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Date: April 12, 1963
Location: Cheyenne Wyoming
Time: 8:46 AM
Railroad: Union Pacific

Stylo walked into the station, and was going to talk to Pete, when he came out of his office.

Pete: There you are Stylo. I need you to come here.
Stylo: Perfect. I was just on my way to see you. *Enters Pete's office*

They say down at Pete's desk

Stylo: Sir,
Stylo & Pete: If I may start fir-
Audience: *Laughing*
Stylo & Pete: It's fine, you can-
Audience: *Laughing*
Stylo & Pete: Wanna go first?
Audience: *Laughing*
Pete: You go first.
Stylo: Okay. I've had it with Mike destroying our stuff on this railroad....
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Theme song >>>> link

Taxi Ponies: *Driving taxi cabs to the station*

Ponies On The Rails

Starring

Pierce Hawkins "Hawkeye" From SeanTheHedgehog

Snowflake & Orion From Alinah09

Metal Gloss From DragonAura15

Railway Pony: *Driving freight train across a bridge going over the train tracks at the station.*
Metal Gloss: *Drives freight train under bridge*
Pony: *In the station, buying a ticket. As soon as he gets the ticket, he runs across the platform, and boards his train.*
Hawkeye: *Preparing train for departure*
Stylo: *Looking at orders on paper*
Hawkeye: *Blows horn twice*...
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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Lewis: *Playing cards with Andy, Bob, and Orion*
Shawn: Thanks for inviting us over you two.
Andy: You're welcome.

The doorbell rang.

Lewis: I'll get it. *Stands up* Don't you dare look at my cards.
Shawn: I'll make sure they don't Lewis.
Lewis: *Opens the door*
Pony 83: Yo, what's good homie?
Lewis: I'm playing cards with some friends. Can I help you?
Pony 83: Yeah man. You know Kyle Jordan? The pony that owns the Video Store?
Lewis: Yeah. What about him?
Pony 83: Earlier today, I went to his store, but it was empty. He didn't lock the door, and just left everything out like it was open. Now I know Kyle,...
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