I woke up next to Asad "Hey, lover." I whispered, gently nibbling on his earlobe "Hi, Nesha. That tickles." He giggled as I stopped as I got up and cooked some breakfast "No work today?" Asad asked as I chuckled "I wish. After work I'm gonna visit a friend of mine." I put his plate on the table while I did the same. When I was done , I drove to the jail where Michael was and signed a paper to go in and talk to him. I walked in and there were inmates talking to there parents and loved ones. They were crying to them, begging, and pulling their hair out because of the point in there lives now "Hey Nesha." He hugged me as I did the same "Hi Michael. Lovely to see you." I looked into his eyes and the flame in my heart started to burst into a full fire "So how are you?" Michael said as I smiled "Great now that I got a job as a journalist for New York Times newspaper." "Wow that's nice. I'm sorry about what I said on the phone." Michael admitted as I held his hand "That's okay Michael, I moved on." I said as he smiled "Who's the lucky fish?" He laughed as I blushed "His name is Asad. A real sweetheart. We had sex." I said as he looked at me with the eyes saying:Are you serious "I just wanted to let you know so you won't get any ideas." I said "What kind of ideas?" Michael asked in a deep voice, looking at me with nasty thoughts as we laughed "Wow Michael. Still dirty in a funny way." "Yeah I know. But I have to be a good boy for the officers so I can get out of here early." Michael joked as I chuckled "So, when are you coming back?" "On your birthday. But in 1996." We were having a great conversation with each other and caught up on a lot of things. Even though Michael was in jail , he was the same loving, kind, and open hearted boy I used to know. It was like he never changed and no one could ever change him "I miss you a lot, Nesha." Michael looked into my eyes and my knees trembled. Oh God , how could he torture me like this? I still had something for him...Those butterflies fluttered again! I was open for him. Jesus why? "Oh." That was all I could spit out "Oh?" Michael worried as I quickly apologized "Sorry. I miss you too hubby-I mean Michael." He started to do that sexy thing with his bottom lip and raised his eyebrow "Hubby? Is there still something in you with me?" I looked at the floor and shamefully answered yes. Michael got up and left "Don't be ashamed. I jack myself off for you." He whispered as I giggled "Michael why?" I laughed as he laughed with me. He left as I went on my way to work.
Michael still wanted me. I still wanted him. Oh my goodness! I just can't do it but I want to. I realized that I still yearn for his....oooh so sweet affection and the way he was so protective of me. The way he held me, spoke to me, treated me, and love me. Michael was the best thing yet. But Asad is who I want to be with. I love them both, but I just don't know. Asad throws me off. But, Michael seems to do more than that.
My mind is so bipolar at the moment of choosing the man I want. Bad boy or boy scout. Lord why? Just why? I can't leave Michael alone in my thoughts. I drove back home and called in sick at the job. I laid down feeling so confused "Hey babe. You called in sick?" Asad walked in as I answered his question. I looked up to see that he was wearing nothing but his boxers. I groaned and fell back into the couch "Why do you have to be so sexy?" I asked as Asad laughed "I don't know. Maybe it's because I keep my body in check. Meaning that I can keep a six pack." He took a bite of his apple as I smiled then took a bite myself "I can keep one too." I joked. I took a nap and dreamt of Michael once again. But this dream was so hot and steamy. Whoa! I was making love to him and his moans filled me up with butterflies. They released into the climax Michael produced inside me. I woke up and sighed "Michael why? Why do you torture me like this?" I buried my face in my hands. Boy oh boy was I frustrated with my feelings.

My day was beginning to be the most frustrating days of my life. Asad sat right next to me then held me "I love you, Nesha." He whispered, his lips coming closer to mine. We kissed passionately. Now I'm seriously intoxicated by Asad and Michael. I feel like I needed to be gay enable to not feel this way "Asad, I love you too." This moment wasn't going to be the last. I was kissing him forever but I was still thinking about Michael. I was really trying to get him out of my mind but he crept into my mind everytime.
I don't know who I want.
Michael or Asad? That was the question that crawled around my brain like a bug.