Hi guys; sorry this chapter is shorter than normal. I never really realized how hard it is to write about a newborn baby because they don't really do much. The next chapter will probably be just a short because the baby will only be a-year-old; but I promise after that the chapters will be much longer! It took me a long time to write this chapter because today I came out to the majority of my family members as transsexual and most of them are confused because I'm still attracted to men; instead of women. Needless to say I've had to do a lot of explaining lately! I hope all of you in the MJ fanpop community will be supportive and understanding in the way I've decided to live my life. :-) Sorry for any typos LOL! I don't really have time to check for mistakes because of my current situation.
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I was shaken awake and rolled over to see Jeffrey standing over me. I asked "what's the matter Jeffrey; its midnight?" He said "I'm sorry to wake you sir; but Ms. Rowe just called and she said to tell you specifically to get your butt over to the hospital because it's time!" I jumped out of bed and ran to the top of the stairs. I was so excited that I missed a few steps and fell down the stairs. Jeffrey gasped and asked "oh my God; are you okay Mr. Jackson?" I said as I brought myself to my feet "I'm fine; I just hope we get there in time! I don't want to miss anything!"
Jeffrey and I must've broke several laws by how dangerously fast he was driving to the hospital. When we got there, Jeffrey had arranged for an entire section of the hospital to be off-limits; so I wouldn't get interrupted by anyone. I raced down the hallway; almost slipping on a puddle of water because I wasn't paying attention.
I ran to Debbie's side upon entering the hospital room and sat down in the chair next to her bed. I asked while trying to catch my breath "did I miss anything?" She said "all I care about now is getting her out because I can't even talk until I do! I only pushed a couple times because I didn't want you to miss anything! Her head's almost out; the doctors didn't want me to stop pushing; but I insisted that I wait until you got here! Now if you don't mind, I need to get her out because I can't handle this pain anymore!"
I was going to grab her hand and give her support; but she told me that she would most likely break my hand. In the blink of an eye, before I even realized it my baby girl was here. A beautiful bloody mess! The next thing I knew, she started crying! It was the most wonderful sound I have ever heard in my life and I wish I could play it over and over again!
One of the nurses passed me Alanna wrapped up in a pink blanket and Debbie asked "what does she look like Michael?" I responded "like an angel!" Curiosity got the better of me and I couldn't help but remove the hat off of my daughter’s head. I smiled from ear to ear as I stared down at the blondest hair I have ever seen in my life. I said as I looked up at Debbie "she definitely gets that hair from you!" I walked over to Debbie and tried to pass her the baby. She smiled and said "no; you go ahead and bond with her! Take her home; the Dr. said she is healthy enough to leave! I'm the one that needs to stay for observation."
After filling out her birth certificate, Jeffrey and I left the hospital; but word had gotten out that the baby was born. Thousands of paparazzi and news stations were bombarding me from every direction! Jeffrey did his best to shield the baby from all the flashes; but it was pretty much impossible!" We finally made it to the secret location where we had parked the car and I realized that I was going to have to figure out how to install the car seat. I know I should have practiced a few weeks ago; but that was the last thing on my mind.
I passed Alanna to Jeffrey as I leaned down inside the back seat of the Rolls-Royce. I didn't even know remotely how to go about installing this car seat! I reluctantly asked Jeffrey "do you know how this thing is supposed to work?" Jeffrey passed her back to me and said "it can be too difficult!" After 15 minutes of him trying to figure out how to install the car seat, he went and got one of the nurses to come help us. I was embarrassed because it only took her five minutes; compared to my half an hour attempt. I thanked her and sat down in the backseat of the car next to the car seat.
Jeffrey pulled into the driveway of the main house on the ranch and I said "I can't believe how calm she is! I think she's going to be an easy baby!" Jeffrey helped me carry the few things that I had brought with me into the house while I carried Alanna in her car seat. I quietly shut the front door as I walked inside and set the car seat down on the couch. Jeffrey said "I'll be back in a half hour Sir; I'm going to check the surveillance cameras to make sure nothing happened while we were at the hospital." I said "go right ahead Jeffrey; I've got everything under control!" Jeffrey said "page me if you need anything."
As I sat down on the couch with Alanna in my arms, she started to grow restless. I looked at my watch and figured that it was probably time to feed her. The only problem is I have no idea how to prepare a baby bottle! All I can say is I hope that these instructions printed on the back of the formulae can are accurate because I don't want to screw this up!
I carefully measured what was supposed to be the recommended amount for a newborn baby into a bottle and placed it inside the microwave. The only thing the back of the formulae can didn't say was how long to leave it in the microwave for! I started by putting it in there for 30 seconds; but that obviously wasn't enough! Then I went way overboard and put it inside the microwave for five minutes. I took it out and poured a little drop of milk on my wrist to check the temperature. I held back a scream as the scolding hot formula touched my skin! That caused me to drop a bottle and the lid popped off because of the enormous pressure from the heat. Milk just started spraying everywhere and I was so frazzled I couldn't even think!
After setting the baby down and cleaning up the mess in the kitchen, I made another bottle. I went over to the couch and grabbed Alanna. As I sat there feeding her, I started talking to her; almost as if she could respond back! I said "sorry about this whole thing with the bottle taking so long! I'm new at this whole daddy thing and it's going to take some getting used to! I hope I don't traumatize you too much in the next few days while I'm trying to figure things out! I guess I should probably burp you now.”
I put her up to my chest and lightly patted her back several times before she actually burped. Immediately afterwards, she started crying; which was the first time she's cried since she's been born. It kind of made me a little nervous because I really don't know what I'm doing yet. I tried rocking her in my arms, lightly bouncing her up and down, and pretty much everything else I could think of at that moment.
Finally I realized what was making her cry, I lay her down on the changing table in her bedroom upstairs and was beyond nervous because I've never changed a diaper before! I looked down at her and said "don't worry; you and I are going to figure this out" almost as a way to reassure myself in my abilities to do this! I mean how hard can it be?
I unbuttoned snaps on her outfit and remove the Velcro off of the diaper. That's when I realized this wasn't going to be as easy as I thought it was. Maybe I should've paid more attention to mother taking care of Janet when she was born because this was the most foul-smelling thing I had ever smelt in my life! I said as I covered my nose with the top of my shirt "I have no idea how I'm going to this!"
I paged Jeffrey up to Alanna's bedroom and he came in and asked "what would you like Mr. Jackson?" I snickered and said "oh yeah; about that… You see I kind of need your help changing a diaper." Jeffrey joked "I don't believe that's in my job description; as long as you're doing all the gross stuff; I'll help!"
Afterwards, I breathed a sigh of relief and said "I'm glad that's over with! I felt like I should have been wearing a hazmat suit! One thing's for sure, if I'm going to do this daddy thing right, I have to have a stronger stomach than that! I couldn't stop gagging and I almost threw up!" Jeffrey sarcastically said "thanks for the details Michael!"
***
It's been a few weeks since Alanna's birth and I think I'm finally starting to get used to being a dad! One thing that seems to bother most people; but doesn’t bother me is having to get up the middle of the night to give her a bottle. I think that's when the two of us bond the most. I catch myself talking to her all the time; as if she can understand me! Changing diapers doesn't seem to bother me anymore; I've kind of gotten used to it at this point.
There was a knock at the front door just as I had gotten the baby up from her nap and Jeffrey answered the door. Mother walked inside and sat down next to me on the couch as I joked "it's about time you showed up! You haven't even met your new granddaughter yet!" I passed Alanna to her and she said "that is the l blondest hair I have ever seen!" I said "I know; I said the same exact thing! It's taken me a while to get used to being a daddy; but I'll get the hang of it sooner or later!" She responded "I know you'll be a great daddy! I tried to persuade your brothers and Janet to come over here; but they said that they would stop by eventually when they are not so busy. I know it's an excuse; but there's not much I can do!" I said "quite frankly, I don't care at this point! I'm just glad that they haven't asked me for money! Latoya stopped by yesterday and spoiled the baby with tons of love and attention from her! I'm so glad that Latoya and I are talking again! I was still mad about the public statement she made about you know what; but having Alanna made the two of us really close again!" Mother said "well; I'm glad to hear it! Are you thinking of hiring some help with the baby for when you have to go back to work?"
I grabbed a cup of tea and passed it to her as I said "I don't really want to; but I obviously have to! I'm definitely not going to get a permanent nanny; at least not right now. I'll probably just hire her to watch Alanna while I'm working or have to go on a trip where I can't bring the baby! Eventually, when I have more kids then I'll hire a full-time nanny to help me out. Right now, I'm doing pretty well taking care of the baby on my own! I do everything myself! I feed her, change her diapers, bathe her, and put her to bed every night!" Mother said "you're going to do just fine Michael; she's going to turn out to be one great kid because of you!" I said "I hope you're right mother!"
***
I'm so irritated right now because it's been 4 1/2 months since Alanna's birth and I need to get back to work; so Frank will stop being so pushy! The only problem is that I can't seem to find the right nanny to take care of her during the day. You can't blame me for having high expectations of the person who is going to be looking after my pride and joy for 8 to 10 hours a day! I don't want to seem like a psycho dad; I just care a lot!
I paced back and forth in front of the doorway waiting for the last potential nanny to show up. I'm really hoping and praying that she's the one because I'm getting really sick of interviewing these random people! I have to ask the same questions over and over again! Sometimes it's even worse because some of these people don't even speak English! That's not the worst part; they act like they can understand what I'm saying; but when I asked them a question they would just start sputtering off in Spanish! I'm all for my daughter learning a foreign-language; but I don't want her first language to be anything but English and the odds of that not happening because she's with a Spanish-speaking person all day are very high!
I know I'm not supposed to judge a book by its cover; but the last nanny just pulled up and it doesn't look very promising that she'll speak any English! She is a tall African woman with curly brown hair. She is dressed in leopard print and carrying a binder in her hands.
She knocked on the door and I answered it politely with a "hello; nice to meet you! I'm Michael Jackson obviously; but you can just call me Michael! What's your name? She said" Grace." I noticed a very faint accent in her voice; BUT AT LEAST SHE SPEAKS ENGLISH!" I directed her into the living room and picked up Alanna. She said "this must be your little one! Oh how adorable! Look at those ice blue eyes of hers!"
Grace sat down next to me on the couch as I shifted the baby onto my lap and asked "if you don't mind me asking, where are you from originally?" She said "Uganda; but I've been in the states for many years now!" I asked "how much experience do you have with children?" She said "years and years; plus I grew up with many siblings!" I asked "do you know how to do the Heimlich maneuver if necessary and CPR?" She said "yes Mr. Michael; I just recently got recertified by taking a refresher course to jog my memory!"
I looked down at her resume and was very impressed with her background in day care services. I said "I like what I see here and I’d like to give you a test run for a day while I observe you taking care of Alanna. I just want to inform you a head of time that I'm not looking to hire a full-time nanny at this time in my life because I only have one child! You'll only really be needed if I need to finish something pertaining to my job and occasionally I might have you watch her for extended periods of time if I have to go on a business trip or do some charity work in third world countries. I just want to make sure that’s okay with you before I decide to do you test run tomorrow?" She said "of course Mr. Michael; my schedule is as free as you need it to be! I'll even cancel my plans tomorrow so I can be here for your observation!" I never thought I'd actually say this; but I think I'm really starting to like this potential nanny a lot more than I thought I would!
***
Grace just arrived at the house and I'm nervously anticipating her trial day as a nanny while I observe. I said "I will probably only have you stay until the baby's naptime because I have my manager coming over later to have an important meeting with me. She said "that's fine."
After watching her interact with Alanna for over three hours, I decided that there was nothing to worry about! Grace definitely put my mind at ease and assured me that she would do anything that I asked her to do when it comes to taking care of her. I really don't think I'm going to need her around a lot right now because all I'm really doing is finishing the last few tracks of "History" and most of the recording I can do right here in my personal recording studio. Even though I don't have to go on tour until a year and a half from now roughly, I still hate the idea of being away from my baby all day long five days a week! I'm definitely not looking forward to this!
***
I love watching Alanna grow right before my very eyes; it's such a cool thing to see! It seems like just yesterday when she couldn't even hold her own head up and now she's able to hold her baby bottle all by herself. It's so cute because she loves to laugh and she will purposely throw the bottle off of her high chair just to get a reaction out of me.
I was in the kitchen while she lay on a blanket on the floor in the living room. I turned around to get something and was shocked to see that she had apparently crawled all the way from the living room into the kitchen. She had just crawled for the first time and I missed the entire thing. I picked her up and asked "did you want to come see me?" She smiled at me with her toothless grin and I couldn't help but laugh at how cute she looked!
***
Alanna is almost 11 months old and she gets into EVERYTHING. She's starting to pull herself up on the furniture and scared me half to death yesterday when she bumped her face on the coffee table in the living room. Today I have a baby proofing specialist coming over to the house to install some things to protect her from getting hurt again.
I watched as my daughter walked along the side of the couch trying to decide whether or not to let go. I said "you can do it; I know you can!" That must've done in the trick because she let go of the couch and started waddling towards me. I said "oh my gosh; you just walked!" I almost wish I didn't encourage her to walk because after that she was unstoppable!
She immediately went over to the bookcase and started pulling off of every book she could reach. "No, no, no," I calmly said as I walked up to her; but every time I would put a book back she would take it down again and throw it across the room. I guess this is when the real parenting starts!
***
If I have to say no one more time my head is going to explode! Something tells me that the days of Alanna being an easy baby are over. I've kind of given up on trying to keep the house in order because it always ends up the mess! Books are thrown all over the place and she figured out how to open the lock on the toilet seat lid.
I was sitting in my bedroom waiting for her to wake up; so I could bring her downstairs. I finally heard her started to cry and went into her bedroom. I took her out of her crib and asked "are you going to get into everything today? I think I know the answer to that question! That's okay because I still love you and I always will!
I bought her downstairs and sure enough, she started to play with the buttons on the TV. I whispered to myself "here we go again!" I picked her up and said "no Alanna; don't touch the TV." That's when I noticed that she managed to change the language on the TV settings because people started speaking in Spanish. I chuckled and smiled down at her as I said "you really want to give me a hard time; don't you?" I wonder if I'll ever be able to change the language back to English because I still haven't figured it out and every time I watch TV I can't help but laugh at what my daughter did.
***
Just as I was getting Alanna ready for her nap, I heard my mother's voice say "I'm here Michael!" I responded "okay mother; I'll be down and just a second. I walked downstairs and sat next to her at the kitchen table. She asked "can you believe that Alanna is going to be one tomorrow?" I said "no; this is crazy! Everything is going by so fast! She started walking and soon she will be talking!" Mother asked me "what are you planning on doing tomorrow to celebrate her birthday?" I said "I don't really know; all I know is that I want it to be special! What I really want to do is to have just a normal family party like any other normal child would have! I want to raise her as normal as possible and I don't want her to become spoiled or feel that she is entitled to live a certain way!"
Mother paused for a second and asked "can I invite your brothers and Janet to the party?" I said "I don't know mother. They haven't even really been around Alanna enough!" She said "well; this would be a good way for them to get to know her. It's better than nothing." I reluctantly said "I guess you're right; they can come." Mother responded "good; can I invite your father?" My eyes widened and I sternly said "NO mother; I can't stand to be around him! Everything with him is always about how he can make more money or ask me for more money! If he comes it'll start a fight; I just know it because I know how Joseph can be! I could barely stand being around him as a child! I don't want my daughter around him! She doesn't need to deal with him like I had to! I don't want her to get hurt! So there's your answer to your question!"
