"I ended up crying myself to sleep on Michael's side of the bed"
I sat on the couch watching the newest movie I had made,"Queen of the Damned" and I played the sister of LeStat, Lillia. Michael had wanted to watch it but then left near the ending to get ready to pack for his flight. He had to leave the house by 5:30 and his flight leaves at 6:30 for his tour with his brothers. As I kept thinking about the fact Michael was leaving and I wasn't going to see him for three years, I started to cry but I tried to keep it in. It was hard for me to be without him before. Now since we're in love and engaged, I don't think I can go through that again. I started to debate whether I should help him or not. Might as well cherish the last moments I'm going to have with him before I send him off at the airport. I headed my way up to our room and wiped the tears off my face.
I entered into our bedroom finding Michael sitting on his side of the bed, crying. I crawled across the bed and sat behind him with me legs spread apart so I could be against his back and I wrapped my arms around him. "Michael, what's the matter? What's wrong?" He grabbed my thigh from behind him and said,"I don't want to do this. I can't leave you. I don't want to leave." I started to get teary-eyed feel terrible for Michael. "I know, baby. I don't want you to go either, but before you know it we'll be back together. I'll come home from my tour and we'll be together again." I started to kiss his shoulder and tried to comfort him in anyway I could.
He stood up and started to come ontop of me and kiss my lips hard and deep like never before. "But I don't *kiss* want to wait three *kiss* years to be able to *kiss* hold you or *kiss* hug you or *kiss* kiss you or touch you or *long kiss* make love to you. I need you." Michael never gave me a chance to speak. All he did was trap me with his sweet mouth. He tried so hard to remove my shirt while grinding and kissing me but I kept resisting. "Michael......ugh.....you have to *kiss* stop." Michael slowly slid his tongue into my mouth and kept putting it in there as he kissed me hard. He never kissed me like that. Hard and deep while French Kissing me? He never rammed his tongue down my throat until now. I can tell he was upset and he wanted this just one last time before he was to say "Goodbye" until 1987.
I needed him to listen. Michael wasn't focusing on my words. I put my hands on his chest and started to rub up and down. I let out moans whenever my mouth was somewhat free. Michael was also doing that while still grinding me and making me wrap my legs around his waist. He let go of my lips and was about to rip my shirt apart. He was now rougher than ever! I placed my hands on his, indicating I didn't want Michael to do it. "What?" he asked. "Michael, I know you love me and I know you don't want to leave me but you have no choice. And as much as I would like to make love with you one more time before we are separated, we can't. We don't have time. Good thing your bag is packed because we have to go now." I got off the bed and stood in front of Michael and grabbed his hand. He grabbed his last suitcase and we headed outside to the limo.
*At the airport*
Michael and his brothers all went to make sure everything was still ready for the jet. As they were all boarding the plane, Michael stayed off. He watched his brothers give their luggage and walk up the steps to the plane. Michael handed his own luggage and looked back at me. He said something to the pilot and started to walk back my way. I figured he wanted to say "Goodbye" one more time. I started walking towards him and cry. Michael came up to me and wrapped his arms across my back and I wrapped my arms around his neck. We hugged each other the same way we did then night we had our first kiss. I was trying to hold back the tears but they kept coming out. I rubbed the back of his head and held him tight to me. "I'm going to miss you, so much." I said. "I'll miss you, too. I'll call every single day while I'm tour. I promise."
We finally let go of our grip and looked at each other. "I love you." I said while beginning to really cry. Michael had tears coming out of his eyes but he wasn't crying. "I love you." Michael grabbed the sides of my face and pulled me in to kiss him one more time. I pulled him into me as much as I could as he put his arms back around me. Our tears went down to our lips and mixed with the kiss. I held the back of Michael's head and, this time, started to, once more, French Kiss him. I could feel his grip getting tighter on my back. Our fast pace finally started to slow down and we started to kiss more gently. We stop but our lips were still touching. I caressed the side of his face as we gave each other one more peck. Michael looked at me and cupped his hand on the side of my face. "Everything will be okay. I promise. I won't break my promise to marry you. I swear." he said.
Michael gave me one more quick peck on my mouth and slowly let go of my body and just held my left hand. As he slowly walked backwards, Michael let go of my hand. I saw him turn around to face the plane. I could feel my heart ache as I watched him leave. I wanted to do nothing but cry. I saw Michael turn back around to face me before he walked inside of the plane and wave to me. I waved back and watched him disappear. I was still crying even though I felt I was somewhat overreacting. I couldn't see any of the boys anymore. They all disappeared before my eyes. I heard the plane get ready to take off and saw Michael in one of the windows watching me. As the plane started to move away, I waved to Michael as he did to me. Next thing I knew, Michael was out of my sight and the plane was off the ground and in the air.
I walked back to the limo, holding my cell phone, waiting for it to ring and it be Michael. I honestly didn't feel as much pain as I thought I would. My stomach ached and I wanted to cry but I didn't feel like my heart was ripped out again. Maybe it's because I knew I would see Michael again. I wasn't being torn away from him, I was just not going to see him for a while. I still missed him terribly. I rode in the far back by myself and put in my earbuds to listen to music. I turned my mP3 Player up to 15 and drowned myself in extremely loud heavy metal music. I never listen to mine or Michael's music when I'm upset about us. I could feel my ear vibrating from the hard guitar and drums and the loud screaming the singer was making. Even though the person was screaming, I still understood what they were saying and the chorus fit how I felt perfectly.
The lyrics were,"I see hell in your eyes/Take it in by surprise/Touching you makes me feel alive/Touching you makes me die inside/". When I did look into Michael's eyes, they were bright like the fires from hell and I was always surprised by some of his "naughty" actions. When I do feel him and touch, I do feel alive and when I do touch him, my darker side dies. Everything that is said in the chorus is what I feel. And I feel......loved but alone. I closed my eyes and listened to the music until I got to my big mansion "Never-Land".
After I came home and went upstairs, I took a shower and cleaned myself up and put on one of my shirts finding one of Michael's button-down shirts on the floor. I lifted it up and held it close, taking in the sweet smell Michael left on it. I decided to wear his shirt instead so I could feel like he was somewhat here. I looked at the clock and saw it was 9:00 pm. Michael still hasn't called but that probably because he is still on the plane flying to Italy.
I crawled into bed and layed there, thinking of all the memories Michael and I have created in this room. All the funny memories, sweet memories, "naughty" memories and passionate memories. I closed my eyes and remembered the first time I saw him again and remembered how I felt when I saw Michael again. I layed there with my eyes shut and never opened them again. I started to feel tears running down the side of my face. As I layed there, I ended up crying myself to sleep on Michael's side of the bed, praying I would feel his arms around me and his body against mine while hearing his sweet innocent voice saying,"I love you". But the weird thing is I DID feel a body against me and arms around me and I DID hear his voice but he didn't say "I love you" he said "I'm here for you". I slowly turned around to see. . . . .
To be continued............
"I lifted it up and held it close, taking in the sweet smell Michael left on it"
11/11/2010 11:00 PM PST by TMZ Staff
The first new Michael Jackson single will be a duet with Akon -- a song entitled "Hold My Hand" that was originally leaked in 2008.
Epic Records/Sony Music just announced the lead single off the upcoming album "Michael" -- and "Hold My Hand" will be released this coming Monday, November 15 on michaeljackson.com.
Akon and MJ recorded the track back in 2007 ... a raw, incomplete version was eventually leaked to the public.
The new album will feature a total of 10 tracks -- including the controversial "Breaking News" -- when it's released December 14.
The first new Michael Jackson single will be a duet with Akon -- a song entitled "Hold My Hand" that was originally leaked in 2008.
Epic Records/Sony Music just announced the lead single off the upcoming album "Michael" -- and "Hold My Hand" will be released this coming Monday, November 15 on michaeljackson.com.
Akon and MJ recorded the track back in 2007 ... a raw, incomplete version was eventually leaked to the public.
The new album will feature a total of 10 tracks -- including the controversial "Breaking News" -- when it's released December 14.
The world was in great depression,
the custody for your kids was in session.
There was too much buzz around,
all I wanted to hear your voice your sound.
I wish you hadn't gone,
all you had to do was sing one more song.
I'm writing this to you.
your death has made me blue.
Why did you pass on June 25, 2009?
"This is it" last concert then you had to resign.
On my continuation my friend
told me you had passed you were dead.
God decided he needed you,
I respected the things you used to do.
Your songs were good, great,
to me and the music world you were a saint.
Jesus decided he wanted you my friend,
you and I know that your music is not at an end.
The world kept talking about him,
the planet and the sun now seemed a little less bright, dim.
Goodbye you were a story, a light,
see you later and when I see you, you will be a sight.
the custody for your kids was in session.
There was too much buzz around,
all I wanted to hear your voice your sound.
I wish you hadn't gone,
all you had to do was sing one more song.
I'm writing this to you.
your death has made me blue.
Why did you pass on June 25, 2009?
"This is it" last concert then you had to resign.
On my continuation my friend
told me you had passed you were dead.
God decided he needed you,
I respected the things you used to do.
Your songs were good, great,
to me and the music world you were a saint.
Jesus decided he wanted you my friend,
you and I know that your music is not at an end.
The world kept talking about him,
the planet and the sun now seemed a little less bright, dim.
Goodbye you were a story, a light,
see you later and when I see you, you will be a sight.
TMZ has learned Michael Jackson's tomb has been defaced by a stealth band of vandals -- who have marked the walls of MJ's mausoleum with hidden messages ... and it's all in permanent ink.
Security at Forest Lawn in Glendale, CA is on the lookout for "fans" who have been writing messages in hard-to-spot places outside the main window of the building in which MJ is entombed.
The writing is mostly hidden underneath ledges -- or in spots covered by bushes -- and contains messages like, "Miss you" and "Keep the dream alive."
Reps at Forest Lawn are pretty ticked off -- telling TMZ, "Activity such as this, is a prime example why we are evaluating the level of access to the various entrances of the Great Mausoleum."
Forest Lawn also tells us that anyone caught vandalizing the cemetery will be banned for life.
Security at Forest Lawn in Glendale, CA is on the lookout for "fans" who have been writing messages in hard-to-spot places outside the main window of the building in which MJ is entombed.
The writing is mostly hidden underneath ledges -- or in spots covered by bushes -- and contains messages like, "Miss you" and "Keep the dream alive."
Reps at Forest Lawn are pretty ticked off -- telling TMZ, "Activity such as this, is a prime example why we are evaluating the level of access to the various entrances of the Great Mausoleum."
Forest Lawn also tells us that anyone caught vandalizing the cemetery will be banned for life.
FAST PEOPLE GO TO THIS LINK AND POST A TRIBUTE FOR MICHAEL BEFORE TOMORROW WE NEED 1 MILLION TRIBUTES AND WE ONLY HAVE 630,183 FAST FAST FAST PEOPLE THIS IS URGENT WE NEED IT FOR MICHAELS SAKE PLEASE TRIBUTE HIM
I KNOW I LOVE MICHAEL
I KNOW YOU LOVE MICHAEL
I KNOW WE ALL LOVE MICHAEL
I KNOW I WANT THE BEST FOR HIM, HIS FANS, HIS KIDS, AND ALL THE LOVING PEOPLE
I KNOW YOU WANT THE BEST FOR HIM, HIS FANS, HIS KIDS, AND ALL THE LOVING PEOPLE
I KNOW WE ALL WANT THE BEST FOR HIM, HIS FANS, HIS KIDS, AND ALL THE LOVING PEOPLE
SO GO AND TRIBUTE FOR GODS SAKE ITS A YEAR ALREADY!
SO VISIT THIS WEBSITE TO DO THAT:
link
PLEASE THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR THE MICHAEL FANS AND WE NEED IT FAST!
PLEASE POST THIS IN DIFFERENT CLUBS, FACEBOOK,TWITTER,etc.
THANKS
I KNOW I LOVE MICHAEL
I KNOW YOU LOVE MICHAEL
I KNOW WE ALL LOVE MICHAEL
I KNOW I WANT THE BEST FOR HIM, HIS FANS, HIS KIDS, AND ALL THE LOVING PEOPLE
I KNOW YOU WANT THE BEST FOR HIM, HIS FANS, HIS KIDS, AND ALL THE LOVING PEOPLE
I KNOW WE ALL WANT THE BEST FOR HIM, HIS FANS, HIS KIDS, AND ALL THE LOVING PEOPLE
SO GO AND TRIBUTE FOR GODS SAKE ITS A YEAR ALREADY!
SO VISIT THIS WEBSITE TO DO THAT:
link
PLEASE THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR THE MICHAEL FANS AND WE NEED IT FAST!
PLEASE POST THIS IN DIFFERENT CLUBS, FACEBOOK,TWITTER,etc.
THANKS
Michael Jackson fans making extravagant plans for the anniversary of his death need a Plan B -- because Forest Lawn Cemetery and cops are putting the kibosh on most of the celebration.
A rep for Forest Lawn -- where MJ is buried -- tells TMZ fans will be allowed into the park on June 25, but not into the mausoleum itself. And the news ain't so good for these special requests:
- Releasing doves (DENIED)
- Releasing balloons (DENIED)
- Performing Jackson songs and dance routines (DENIED)
Sgt. Tom Lorenz says the Glendale PD has its own no-no list: no camping out the night before, no parking around Forest Lawn 24 hours prior, and no street vendor sales of anything ... including MJ merchandise.
The Forest Lawn rep says fans who behave will be allowed to pay their respects.
A rep for Forest Lawn -- where MJ is buried -- tells TMZ fans will be allowed into the park on June 25, but not into the mausoleum itself. And the news ain't so good for these special requests:
- Releasing doves (DENIED)
- Releasing balloons (DENIED)
- Performing Jackson songs and dance routines (DENIED)
Sgt. Tom Lorenz says the Glendale PD has its own no-no list: no camping out the night before, no parking around Forest Lawn 24 hours prior, and no street vendor sales of anything ... including MJ merchandise.
The Forest Lawn rep says fans who behave will be allowed to pay their respects.
MZ has learned Dr. Conrad Murray will go about his normal business -- seeing patients -- on the anniversary of Michael Jackson's death.
We're told Murray will not visit MJ's mausoleum Friday, because it will cause a scene. He will, we're told, pay his respects around that time, when no one is there.
Miranda Sevcik, the PR rep for Murray's lawyer, Ed Chernoff, tells TMZ, "Dr. Murray will be mourning privately. He doesn't want to distract people by reminding them of Michael's death. He'd rather people remember his friend, Michael Jackson, as he was in life
We're told Murray will not visit MJ's mausoleum Friday, because it will cause a scene. He will, we're told, pay his respects around that time, when no one is there.
Miranda Sevcik, the PR rep for Murray's lawyer, Ed Chernoff, tells TMZ, "Dr. Murray will be mourning privately. He doesn't want to distract people by reminding them of Michael's death. He'd rather people remember his friend, Michael Jackson, as he was in life
TMZ has learned Katherine Jackson and Michael Jackson's three kids will not be in L.A. to commemorate the one-year anniversary of MJ's death.
Sources connected with the family tell TMZ the gang will be at Michael's birthplace -- Gary, Indiana -- where they will observe the day.
We're told Katherine is set on Gary because she feels it is a "family point of connection" -- and it's just too crazy in L.A.
Our sources say Katherine, Prince, Paris, and Blanket will keep things private with relatives and friends in Gary.
Sources connected with the family tell TMZ the gang will be at Michael's birthplace -- Gary, Indiana -- where they will observe the day.
We're told Katherine is set on Gary because she feels it is a "family point of connection" -- and it's just too crazy in L.A.
Our sources say Katherine, Prince, Paris, and Blanket will keep things private with relatives and friends in Gary.
You'll probably never get this letter
Michael, I wrote you a hundred times before
Knowing how I feel, I'll write a hundred more"
"Dear Michael, everytime your records on
Michael, I close my eyes and sing along
Dreaming you're singing to me"
And then she wrote
"Michael, I love you
I've held tears back long as I can
I'm sealing my feelings in this envelope
Cause I wanna be more than just your number one fan
I'm gonna answer your letter
I'll start beginning with the ABCs of loving you
Your letter really touched my heart
I've been dreaming of meeting the picture
That you sent along, signed with all your love
(Michael, Michael)
(I want you)
(She wrote)
I'm gonna write you back
Ooh, I promise you that
Girl, I think I love you
Hurry, hurry Mr Postman
Take my letter
Tell her her I love her
Hurry, hurry Mr Postman
Take my letter
Tell her I love her
Michael Jackson: Joe Jackson blames his wife for the death of the singer
He asked him to hospitalize him
Michael Jackson cannot rest in peace. The parents of the singer, Joe and Katherine Jackson are faced by the death of his son. According to Joe Jackson his wife is the culprit of the death of the ' King of the Pop '.
The father of Michael Jackson revealed to a British diary that asked for several times his wife who was hospitalizing his son in a clinic of rehabilitation in order that it overcomes his addictions. ' If you had listened to me, Michael would be alive ', said Joe Jackson to the mother of the singer.
The portal TMZ informed that the attorneys of Katherine Jackson answered to the accusations and indicated that the whole world wise that she always was a good mother and grandmother.
He asked him to hospitalize him
Michael Jackson cannot rest in peace. The parents of the singer, Joe and Katherine Jackson are faced by the death of his son. According to Joe Jackson his wife is the culprit of the death of the ' King of the Pop '.
The father of Michael Jackson revealed to a British diary that asked for several times his wife who was hospitalizing his son in a clinic of rehabilitation in order that it overcomes his addictions. ' If you had listened to me, Michael would be alive ', said Joe Jackson to the mother of the singer.
The portal TMZ informed that the attorneys of Katherine Jackson answered to the accusations and indicated that the whole world wise that she always was a good mother and grandmother.
Hi everyone!! A lot of you who have participated in my MJ games have been so nice! Saying that you like my games and want more. So I want to thank you to every who has played who is playing and who will play in the future! I'm so, so, so happy that everyone is having fun playing them. I actually never thought that these games would last, lol. I just thought a couple poeple were gonna actually play them, but now there has to be at least 10 or more players. So thank you all so, so much! Hopefully I get more ideas for more games :D So again thank you all for liking and playing the games, and if you have and questions or problems having anything to do with the games, please message me so I can answer your question or fix the problems. Love you all!!!!!
Randy has been on Twitter attack, calling the auction at Planet Hollywood in Vegas "distasteful."
Darren Julien from Julien's Auctions claims it's pure coincidence the auction falls on June 25 -- "We have the same summer auction [of pop star memorabilia] at the same time every year."
Julien says the auction date can't be moved. So there.
Certainly the will stipulates that the money, the children will get when they reach 30 years of age. By then, of course, the interest amount will exceed 300 million dollars!! Not bad ...
The mother of Michael Jackson gets 40% of its assets, while the remainder will go to charitable institutions.
Naturally, Jacko did not leave anything to his father, which had no good relationships, but none of the siblings.
Dr. Conrad Murray took a $16,000 hit today -- when officials rejected his request to relieve the massive child support debt he owes his baby mama.
Murray -- who practices medicine in Nevada -- had worked out a deal with Nevada State Board of Medical Examiners, in which they'd back off from revoking his license ... if he could convince a California court to forgive the $16,000 in back child support he owes in Cali.
But today, a judge in California turned down the request -- which means Murray's license is still very much in danger.
And check this out -- a hearing was scheduled to be in Nevada for June 25th ... exactly one year after Murray allegedly pumped Michael Jackson full of a deadly dose of Propofol.
Murray -- who practices medicine in Nevada -- had worked out a deal with Nevada State Board of Medical Examiners, in which they'd back off from revoking his license ... if he could convince a California court to forgive the $16,000 in back child support he owes in Cali.
But today, a judge in California turned down the request -- which means Murray's license is still very much in danger.
And check this out -- a hearing was scheduled to be in Nevada for June 25th ... exactly one year after Murray allegedly pumped Michael Jackson full of a deadly dose of Propofol.
