*Michael's point of view*
I watched as my beautiful bride-to-be sang with her strong voice she had. Even though I'm not really a rock fan, I wasn't lying when I told her and her group they had good music. I really am a fan of her and her group. "Evanescence's" music is amazing. No wonder she is the Queen of Rock and Pop. I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was wearing her favorite white tank top and blue jeans with the rip ends at the feet that she changed into. She even had on her favorite black flip flops and put on black eyeliner and her make-up, making her look like Evanescence but still beautiful. All Taylor had to do was take off the eyeliner and she was the little girl I was so close with 8 years ago. She was still Taylor Jackson, my foster sister. I just fell in love with her.
"Her music is very. . . .interesting, huh, Mike?" Jermaine said. I wasn't really listening to him because I got lost in the music, listening to each instrument. "They sound really good. Taylor never lost her talent." I said. "Yeah, but she abused it. She's using it in the wrong way." That caught my attention. I looked at Jermaine, ready to jump for Taylor's defense at whatever negative thing Jermaine had to say. Again. "What are you talking about, Jermaine? She's using it just fine. What, you don't like it?" Jermaine looked at the ground then grabbed my upper arm, pulling me out of Taylor's sight.
Jermaine let out a deep sigh like he was guilty. "Michael, I know you two are engaged and we told her that we would have her on the tour. But. . . " He wouldn't finish his sentence. I was waiting to hear the rest but he wouldn't speak. "But what?" I asked, pushing for him to finish. "But we can't have her come with us. Not with what music she has made. Taylor is not allowed to go on our 'Victory' tour, Michael." I felt my blood boiling from anger. He has gone too far when it comes to my fiance. I felt my hands getting into a tight fist. "Why can't she come, specificly?" I asked, showing I was furious. "Michael, with the music and the message she has in her music we don't want-" "We?" I cut him off. "The others. We don't want the fans to have to listen to one message and then another when the two messages are totally different."
"I don't understand. She made that music because she had no other way of expressing herself when she was taken away from us! Taylor tried everything but music! That was her only way! And your saying that you aren't accepting her because she wasn't coping when she was taken from us?!" I was yelling at Jermaine as if he was my father without the beating. "That's not what we mean, Mike! We don't like how her music is dark and depressing and filled with nothing but pain and sorrow!" Now Jermaine was yelling at me. "She wrote things like that because that's all she ever felt! She was in a dark and depressing world and she felt nothing but pain and sorrow!" Jermaine didn't say anything for a minute while I tried really hard not to get real angry and hit my brother.
He put each of his hands on my shoulders and said,"Michael, I know that you love her and you want to make her happy and you never want to break her heart. But your life together will have broken hearts. This will have to be one of those times. I'm sorry, lil' bro. We won't let her come and you can't bail on us." I wanted scream and cry at the same time. What am I going to do without my fiance for a year and a half? I can't even handle being away from her for a day. I let out a deep sigh and said,"When does the plane leave again?" "Next Friday." I have to tell her tonight. I have no choice. I have to leave her. "Fine. I'll. . .I'll talk to her tonight."
*Later that night in Taylor's view*
"Hey, Michael? What were you and Jermaine talking about when I was singing? You guys left and you came back looking depressed like you ran over a dog." I asked. Ever since that, Michael seemed like he was so tense and scared. I tried to relax him but nothing was working. Not even massging his shoulders worked. "Taylor, we need to talk." I immediately got scared. I never wanted to hear those words in one sentence with this mood from Michael. I hope it's not what I'm thinking of. "What is it, babe?" I asked while kissing his shoulder as we sat on the couch watcing the fire burn in the fireplace.
"Jermaine, Tito, Randy and Jackie don't. . . .ugh. I can't do this!" I started to rub his shoulders again while he put his head in his hands. "Can't do what, honey? Tell me." "My brothers wanted me to tell you to not worry about the tour anymore." I was confused. What was Michael talking about? "What do you mean 'don't worry'?" "My brothers don't want you to come with us on the tour." Michael looked at me as he told me the truth with his eyes red like he was crying. "What? I don't understand." "My brothers think that because of what your songs are about, it wouldn't be a good idea for the fans to hear it. I'm sorry, baby. I tried to convince Jermaine but he wouldn't crack!"
My heart was breaking as I heard what Michael was saying. I thought his brother were actually loving and were going to keep me again no matter what happened to me. But I was wrong, The only sweet Jackson boy is Michael now. "Did you say that you weren't going to do it?" I asked. "Taylor, I have no choice. It's too late for me. I have to go no matter what. If I could bail, trust me, I would. But I have to go." I felt my heart split in two. "What? Why didn't you fight? You fought for me to come with you but you didn't fight to stay home? You chose them?" I started to think Michael chose to go with his brothers than stay home with me. "How could you think that? Before I even defended myself, Jermaine said I had to go. It was like he knew I wanted to fight for myself."
"But what am I going to do without you for three years, Michael?" He looked at me with confusion. "Taylor, the tour is only a year and a half. Where are you getting three from?" I realized I never told him that I was going to go on tour for Evanescence for my recent album that just came out. "I forgot. Dammit. When the 'Victory' tour ends, the 'Evanescence' tour I have for my brand new album begins. But where the last show will be for your tour is where my begins. The only thing is that the days are back-to-back." "So we may see each other." "We are going to make everything up that we missed for a year in a half in a whole day? Michael, that's impossible. And we won't see each other because the night your concert ends, you said you get on a flight to come home. I now leave that same night. I won't see you until 1987, Michael!"
Michael was angry at what was going on and we walked into the kitchen both pacing around with the little island counter between us. "You know, if you had just fought anyway about you staying home-" Michael cut me off and started to get loud. "Taylor! I told you, he said I can't bail! What was the point of me saying anything?" "You could have tried to fight either way! It's better than just obeying at the spot! You should have at least tried! But you decided to let him win!" I started yelling at him back, making us get into an arguement. Our very first big arguement. "Taylor, if he tells me no, why should I try? There's no reason if he said no already!"
"Yeah and when you asked me if I wanted to go on the ferris wheel, I first said no and then you persuade me into doing it. And what did I do? You could have persuade into doing either one! But you chose to surrender too soon! You need to grow up, Michael, and deal with hurting your family because you already hurt me!" He came walking slowly towards me, looking into my eyes with innocence but guilt at the same time. "What do you mean I have already hurt you?" "You hurt me by not even trying to stay with me somehow! You chose to cave into your brothers than fight for the girl who is in love with you and wants to be your wife! I love you, Michael, but damn! Man up to your family!" I started to walk away from him but stopped to look back.
"Oh, and when you finally come home after 3 years without me, don't be surprised if you find out that I'm with someone else. I just might give up on what we have even though I don't want to loose you. Just a fair warning." I left the kitchen completely and went up to our room. I wanted to so badly throw something but I had to control myself. It was never a pretty sight when I got furious. I sat on my side of out king-sized bed and started crying. I hadn't cried this hard since I was 14. I so badly wanted to go back downstairs and tell Michael I was sorry but he needed to hear what I said. But he didn't need to hear that last thing. I should have never said that.
As I kept crying my eyes out, I felt warm slender arms wrap around me and then a warm body pressing against me. I cried into Michael's shirt and held him close to me, showing I was sorry without saying it. He started to rub my back kissing my shoulder. "Shhhh. It's going to be okay. Everything will be okay." Michael said, trying to calm me down. "No, it's not! We want to get married but it won't happen another three years. I can't wait that long, Michael." I looked at his addicting eyes, trying to catch my breath. "We'll work it out, Taylor. I promised I would never loose you again and I won't break that promise. We'll think of something. I know we will. And I'm sorry. You're right. I should have tried to fight. You were right and I'm sorry for what I said." "I'm sorry about what I said to Michael. I don't know why I said that."
I started to rub the back of his head and tangled my fingers in his soft, curly black hair as he wiped my tears away from my face. I pulled his face closer to mine and kissed him hard and deep. I wanted to show him with this kiss that I wasn't going to leave him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kept kissing him as he pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arms around my waist the best way he could. I felt I was still crying and the tears were falling into the kiss. But I didn't care. I wanted Michael to know that I won't leave him and I will wait for him. No matter how long it takes. Because I love Michael Jackson and I will become his wife unless he orders me away.
I watched as my beautiful bride-to-be sang with her strong voice she had. Even though I'm not really a rock fan, I wasn't lying when I told her and her group they had good music. I really am a fan of her and her group. "Evanescence's" music is amazing. No wonder she is the Queen of Rock and Pop. I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was wearing her favorite white tank top and blue jeans with the rip ends at the feet that she changed into. She even had on her favorite black flip flops and put on black eyeliner and her make-up, making her look like Evanescence but still beautiful. All Taylor had to do was take off the eyeliner and she was the little girl I was so close with 8 years ago. She was still Taylor Jackson, my foster sister. I just fell in love with her.
"Her music is very. . . .interesting, huh, Mike?" Jermaine said. I wasn't really listening to him because I got lost in the music, listening to each instrument. "They sound really good. Taylor never lost her talent." I said. "Yeah, but she abused it. She's using it in the wrong way." That caught my attention. I looked at Jermaine, ready to jump for Taylor's defense at whatever negative thing Jermaine had to say. Again. "What are you talking about, Jermaine? She's using it just fine. What, you don't like it?" Jermaine looked at the ground then grabbed my upper arm, pulling me out of Taylor's sight.
Jermaine let out a deep sigh like he was guilty. "Michael, I know you two are engaged and we told her that we would have her on the tour. But. . . " He wouldn't finish his sentence. I was waiting to hear the rest but he wouldn't speak. "But what?" I asked, pushing for him to finish. "But we can't have her come with us. Not with what music she has made. Taylor is not allowed to go on our 'Victory' tour, Michael." I felt my blood boiling from anger. He has gone too far when it comes to my fiance. I felt my hands getting into a tight fist. "Why can't she come, specificly?" I asked, showing I was furious. "Michael, with the music and the message she has in her music we don't want-" "We?" I cut him off. "The others. We don't want the fans to have to listen to one message and then another when the two messages are totally different."
"I don't understand. She made that music because she had no other way of expressing herself when she was taken away from us! Taylor tried everything but music! That was her only way! And your saying that you aren't accepting her because she wasn't coping when she was taken from us?!" I was yelling at Jermaine as if he was my father without the beating. "That's not what we mean, Mike! We don't like how her music is dark and depressing and filled with nothing but pain and sorrow!" Now Jermaine was yelling at me. "She wrote things like that because that's all she ever felt! She was in a dark and depressing world and she felt nothing but pain and sorrow!" Jermaine didn't say anything for a minute while I tried really hard not to get real angry and hit my brother.
He put each of his hands on my shoulders and said,"Michael, I know that you love her and you want to make her happy and you never want to break her heart. But your life together will have broken hearts. This will have to be one of those times. I'm sorry, lil' bro. We won't let her come and you can't bail on us." I wanted scream and cry at the same time. What am I going to do without my fiance for a year and a half? I can't even handle being away from her for a day. I let out a deep sigh and said,"When does the plane leave again?" "Next Friday." I have to tell her tonight. I have no choice. I have to leave her. "Fine. I'll. . .I'll talk to her tonight."
*Later that night in Taylor's view*
"Hey, Michael? What were you and Jermaine talking about when I was singing? You guys left and you came back looking depressed like you ran over a dog." I asked. Ever since that, Michael seemed like he was so tense and scared. I tried to relax him but nothing was working. Not even massging his shoulders worked. "Taylor, we need to talk." I immediately got scared. I never wanted to hear those words in one sentence with this mood from Michael. I hope it's not what I'm thinking of. "What is it, babe?" I asked while kissing his shoulder as we sat on the couch watcing the fire burn in the fireplace.
"Jermaine, Tito, Randy and Jackie don't. . . .ugh. I can't do this!" I started to rub his shoulders again while he put his head in his hands. "Can't do what, honey? Tell me." "My brothers wanted me to tell you to not worry about the tour anymore." I was confused. What was Michael talking about? "What do you mean 'don't worry'?" "My brothers don't want you to come with us on the tour." Michael looked at me as he told me the truth with his eyes red like he was crying. "What? I don't understand." "My brothers think that because of what your songs are about, it wouldn't be a good idea for the fans to hear it. I'm sorry, baby. I tried to convince Jermaine but he wouldn't crack!"
My heart was breaking as I heard what Michael was saying. I thought his brother were actually loving and were going to keep me again no matter what happened to me. But I was wrong, The only sweet Jackson boy is Michael now. "Did you say that you weren't going to do it?" I asked. "Taylor, I have no choice. It's too late for me. I have to go no matter what. If I could bail, trust me, I would. But I have to go." I felt my heart split in two. "What? Why didn't you fight? You fought for me to come with you but you didn't fight to stay home? You chose them?" I started to think Michael chose to go with his brothers than stay home with me. "How could you think that? Before I even defended myself, Jermaine said I had to go. It was like he knew I wanted to fight for myself."
"But what am I going to do without you for three years, Michael?" He looked at me with confusion. "Taylor, the tour is only a year and a half. Where are you getting three from?" I realized I never told him that I was going to go on tour for Evanescence for my recent album that just came out. "I forgot. Dammit. When the 'Victory' tour ends, the 'Evanescence' tour I have for my brand new album begins. But where the last show will be for your tour is where my begins. The only thing is that the days are back-to-back." "So we may see each other." "We are going to make everything up that we missed for a year in a half in a whole day? Michael, that's impossible. And we won't see each other because the night your concert ends, you said you get on a flight to come home. I now leave that same night. I won't see you until 1987, Michael!"
Michael was angry at what was going on and we walked into the kitchen both pacing around with the little island counter between us. "You know, if you had just fought anyway about you staying home-" Michael cut me off and started to get loud. "Taylor! I told you, he said I can't bail! What was the point of me saying anything?" "You could have tried to fight either way! It's better than just obeying at the spot! You should have at least tried! But you decided to let him win!" I started yelling at him back, making us get into an arguement. Our very first big arguement. "Taylor, if he tells me no, why should I try? There's no reason if he said no already!"
"Yeah and when you asked me if I wanted to go on the ferris wheel, I first said no and then you persuade me into doing it. And what did I do? You could have persuade into doing either one! But you chose to surrender too soon! You need to grow up, Michael, and deal with hurting your family because you already hurt me!" He came walking slowly towards me, looking into my eyes with innocence but guilt at the same time. "What do you mean I have already hurt you?" "You hurt me by not even trying to stay with me somehow! You chose to cave into your brothers than fight for the girl who is in love with you and wants to be your wife! I love you, Michael, but damn! Man up to your family!" I started to walk away from him but stopped to look back.
"Oh, and when you finally come home after 3 years without me, don't be surprised if you find out that I'm with someone else. I just might give up on what we have even though I don't want to loose you. Just a fair warning." I left the kitchen completely and went up to our room. I wanted to so badly throw something but I had to control myself. It was never a pretty sight when I got furious. I sat on my side of out king-sized bed and started crying. I hadn't cried this hard since I was 14. I so badly wanted to go back downstairs and tell Michael I was sorry but he needed to hear what I said. But he didn't need to hear that last thing. I should have never said that.
As I kept crying my eyes out, I felt warm slender arms wrap around me and then a warm body pressing against me. I cried into Michael's shirt and held him close to me, showing I was sorry without saying it. He started to rub my back kissing my shoulder. "Shhhh. It's going to be okay. Everything will be okay." Michael said, trying to calm me down. "No, it's not! We want to get married but it won't happen another three years. I can't wait that long, Michael." I looked at his addicting eyes, trying to catch my breath. "We'll work it out, Taylor. I promised I would never loose you again and I won't break that promise. We'll think of something. I know we will. And I'm sorry. You're right. I should have tried to fight. You were right and I'm sorry for what I said." "I'm sorry about what I said to Michael. I don't know why I said that."
I started to rub the back of his head and tangled my fingers in his soft, curly black hair as he wiped my tears away from my face. I pulled his face closer to mine and kissed him hard and deep. I wanted to show him with this kiss that I wasn't going to leave him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kept kissing him as he pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arms around my waist the best way he could. I felt I was still crying and the tears were falling into the kiss. But I didn't care. I wanted Michael to know that I won't leave him and I will wait for him. No matter how long it takes. Because I love Michael Jackson and I will become his wife unless he orders me away.
Child of innocence, I miss your sunny days
We joyously frolicked in extended plays
Ever since you've left the scene
The streets are lonely, dark and mean
Child of innocence, return to me now
With your simple smile show them how
This world once again can respond to your glance
And heartbeats flutter to the rhythm of your dance
Child of innocence, your elegance, your beauty
Beckons me now beyond the call of duty
Come fly with me far and above
Over the mountains in the land of love
Child of innocence, messenger of joy
You've touched my heart without a ploy
My soul is ablaze with a flagrant fire
To change the world is my deepest desire.
We joyously frolicked in extended plays
Ever since you've left the scene
The streets are lonely, dark and mean
Child of innocence, return to me now
With your simple smile show them how
This world once again can respond to your glance
And heartbeats flutter to the rhythm of your dance
Child of innocence, your elegance, your beauty
Beckons me now beyond the call of duty
Come fly with me far and above
Over the mountains in the land of love
Child of innocence, messenger of joy
You've touched my heart without a ploy
My soul is ablaze with a flagrant fire
To change the world is my deepest desire.
So we had our school retreat today, & there was a band right? They started playing will you be there, & my friends were all nudging me going "it's MJ!" The thing is, I didn't know it was MJ when they first started playing. I had never heard will you be there before, yet all my friends knew it. Isn't that kinda sad? My friend Emily was like "Keri, it's MJ get up & sing!" but I was like "I don't know the words." I learned it pretty fast though; they only played the first 2 lines over & over instead of the whole song, so I didn't feel like a total idiot!! So it was kinda embarrassing for me because my friends all know me as the big MJ fanatic, yet I didn't recognize the song. But it really made my day!
The prosecutor in the Michael Jackson manslaughter preliminary hearing -- which begins tomorrow -- will not call Michael's eldest son, Prince Michael, to testify about what he saw the day his dad died ... sources tell TMZ.
Dr. Conrad Murray has said after administering CPR he ran downstairs and asked the chef to send up Prince Michael, who saw his dad's lifeless body lying in the bed.
In fact, we're told no one from MJ's family will be called to the stand during the prelim.
As TMZ first reported, prosecutors plan to call 30 witnesses during the 2-week prelim ... many of whom will be medical professionals offering opinions about the standard of care administered by Dr. Murray.
There will be no "star witness" in the prelim. Sources tell us the various witnesses will form building blocks, making the case that Dr. Murray acted recklessly by administering Propofol and other drugs to Jackson the day he died.
Dr. Conrad Murray has said after administering CPR he ran downstairs and asked the chef to send up Prince Michael, who saw his dad's lifeless body lying in the bed.
In fact, we're told no one from MJ's family will be called to the stand during the prelim.
As TMZ first reported, prosecutors plan to call 30 witnesses during the 2-week prelim ... many of whom will be medical professionals offering opinions about the standard of care administered by Dr. Murray.
There will be no "star witness" in the prelim. Sources tell us the various witnesses will form building blocks, making the case that Dr. Murray acted recklessly by administering Propofol and other drugs to Jackson the day he died.
Some wannabe gambling tycoons have just opened an unauthorized Michael Jackson Casino online ... and TMZ has learned the real MJ Estate is ready to declare casino war in order to shut 'em down.
The gambling site -- which features everything from poker to baccarat -- features MJ's image and a message on the home page that reads, "The King of Pop is proud to bring you the most exciting Vegas style online casino betting experience on the Net!"
Problem is -- the estate claims never gave the online casino the green light to use any of their trademarks ... and now Howard Weitzman -- the attorney for Michael Jackson's estate -- tells us he will, "take whatever legal actions are necessary to shut this operation down.”
Talk about a bad bet.
The gambling site -- which features everything from poker to baccarat -- features MJ's image and a message on the home page that reads, "The King of Pop is proud to bring you the most exciting Vegas style online casino betting experience on the Net!"
Problem is -- the estate claims never gave the online casino the green light to use any of their trademarks ... and now Howard Weitzman -- the attorney for Michael Jackson's estate -- tells us he will, "take whatever legal actions are necessary to shut this operation down.”
Talk about a bad bet.
Michael Jackson's estate is lashing out at the people behind a new MJ documentary set to debut in Japan tomorrow -- claiming fans are being duped into believing the flick was authorized by Team MJ.
The estate has released a scathing statement claiming that Flamingo Features is promoting the movie in a way that is misleading MJ's fans into believing the film -- shot by former MJ confidante Marc Schaffel -- was properly authorized.
The estate also makes it clear it doesn't endorse the flick and none of the profits will benefit MJ's children. They also note that the movie is not allowed to contain any of Michael's music.
Schaffel doesn't appear to be bothered -- the above photo was taken moments ago at the movie premiere in Tokyo ... where Schaffel took the stage and told fans Katherine Jackson sent along her best wishes.
Tuesday, we shot video of Schaffel and Debbie Rowe boarding a plane to Tokyo.
The estate has released a scathing statement claiming that Flamingo Features is promoting the movie in a way that is misleading MJ's fans into believing the film -- shot by former MJ confidante Marc Schaffel -- was properly authorized.
The estate also makes it clear it doesn't endorse the flick and none of the profits will benefit MJ's children. They also note that the movie is not allowed to contain any of Michael's music.
Schaffel doesn't appear to be bothered -- the above photo was taken moments ago at the movie premiere in Tokyo ... where Schaffel took the stage and told fans Katherine Jackson sent along her best wishes.
Tuesday, we shot video of Schaffel and Debbie Rowe boarding a plane to Tokyo.
The Jackson family compound in Encino is gonna be locked down tighter than Fort Knox on the anniversary of Michael Jackson's death ... because we're told the LAPD is preparing for an onslaught of MJ faithful.
According to the LAPD, there will be 30 to 40 officers -- some uniformed, some undercover -- patrolling a one block area around the Jackson home on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.
We're also told other precautions will be taken -- including "no parking" signs around the house and a ban on all MJ merch sales in the area ... the same rules that will be enforced at Forest Lawn Cemetery.
The LAPD says 3,000 to 4,000 shirts were confiscated last year after Michael died -- so you've been warned.
According to the LAPD, there will be 30 to 40 officers -- some uniformed, some undercover -- patrolling a one block area around the Jackson home on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.
We're also told other precautions will be taken -- including "no parking" signs around the house and a ban on all MJ merch sales in the area ... the same rules that will be enforced at Forest Lawn Cemetery.
The LAPD says 3,000 to 4,000 shirts were confiscated last year after Michael died -- so you've been warned.
TMZ broke the story -- Joe was gunning for AEG by filing complaints with the California Medical Board and another agency, alleging the concert promoter abused Jackson in a way that led to his death -- and he's just filed with the Medical Board.
Joe claims days before Jackson's death Murray had requested a heart resuscitation machine and a nurse in several e-mails making the request, but AEG never provided it.
According to the complaint, Joe is accusing AEG of co-opting Murray's medical judgment by enticing him with a huge salary -- in effect engaging in the "unlawful practice of corporate medicine."
Besides the CPR machine, Murray also asked for saline, catheters, needles and a gurney.
AEG and Murray had no comment.