answer this question

Love Question

I think I might like this guy I met online. Advice?

So around two months ago, I started chatting with this guy that I met on some social site. We got along pretty well right away and always had topics to talk about. After I got to know him a bit more, we now have a love/hate relationship with a lot of teasing. He's hilarious, but a bit different than other guys. He says that he's never liked a girl, and is incredibly self absorbed (even though he's kidding the majority of the time). I've never liked a guy either, and so I'm glad that he understands some of my anxiety with being tied down in a relationship. None of us have actually outwardly expressed interest in each other because I don't think either of us are ready for liking anyone right now and we're too prideful to take the first step, but for some reason I can't stop thinking about this guy all the time now. The sad thing is, he lives like 3 states away and I don't even know what he looks like. But for some reason, I don't feel creeped out by him at all like I do with some other guys, and he's hardly into girls, much less creeping. And I know that he's not gay. Yes, I know this sounds incredibly stupid, and I know online relationships never work out, but I just can't help it. I'm not going to claim that I'm in love with him or anything, because it takes more than that for love to develop, but I do think I'm starting to like him. So, should I just give up hope of ever having a relationship with some guy online before I actually do fall in love and get hurt or is there still hope? I know he might be some 40 year old creep or something, but...
 hiherewego posted over a year ago
next question »

Love Answers

Karthigesh said:
I have to disagree with your point about online relationships never working. I've met plenty of people who have met online and are now madly in love and are in long-term relationships, heck, some are even married :)

The key to all of this and making it work is down to effort and compromise. The distance will always be a factor so you both have to find ways to eliminate it in a non-physical sense. Talk to each other more, share your likes and dislikes, do it over the webcam if possible, that way it is like interacting as if you were face to face.

As for your situation, if you feel that you like him you should take the first step IF he refuses to do it AND you have that feeling that he is giving you vibes back. The thing with what you have has to be built on trust, so you have to somehow convince him to at least show you a picture of how he looks like. I mean you do want to put a face to those thoughts of yours, don't you? lol...

Secondly, once that is done tell him how you feel and see if he feels the same way. I can tell that you clearly feel at ease with this person and you have gotten to the point that the both of you can tease each other in a playful almost romantic manner. If he likes you back then this is where the tough part comes in, the effort.

You both have to work out ways to cut the distance and maintain this bond. Most relationships die in the early stages because one, or even both parties cannot put in the time and dedication required to make it grow. This is even more so for your case, with things being long-distance.

Send him an e-card, tell him about your day, the distance shouldn't even matter, you just have to think of it as a positive. Like waking up and thinking somewhere out there is someone thinking of me right now, and I want to make his day. Then get onto the computer or phone, or carrier pigeon or whatever LOL and make those ideas into reality.

But first and foremost you have to really ask him to open up, show you a picture at least because I know you feel at ease with him but there has to be something there for you to see and trust, if not only hurt awaits you in the future. It is not only about trust, but safety as well, because anyone can pretend to be anyone over a computer, so you have to be secure knowing he is who he says he is BEFORE you can even attempt to establish a relationship and tell him how you feel. It all has to go step-by-step and you can't jump the gun, no matter how much you want to.

I hope things work out for you, all the best :D
select as best answer
posted over a year ago 
*
thank you so much! (:
hiherewego posted over a year ago
writer67 said:
enjoy your on line life, as its differs from the reality you are in, have a bit of fun , he may be a fourty year old creep , but he is 3 states away, make sure you havent given your own adress, give an enemies. keep your guard up as in real life, he could also be an old woman too. have some fun and be careful as always. time will tell;-]
select as best answer
posted over a year ago 
*
thank you! hehe
hiherewego posted over a year ago
TruBerries said:
Online relationships never work out and you can't be trusting of a complete stranger over the internet and generating a relationship outta thin air. I mean this guy could be married with children or a sixty year old pervert looking for a good time. Anyone can say anything and be whoever they wanna be online and that's really dangerous. You don't really know what this guys really about except for the things that he's already told you.
select as best answer
posted over a year ago 
*
Again, I would have to respectfully disagree on the part about online relationships never working out. It is a generalization just like what people claim that long-distance relationships never work. Both are not true at all, I bet even on FanPop there have been people who have met through online means and have proper relationships now. It all comes down to trust, effort and dedication, if you have all of those, these skeptical things about long-distance/online relationships won't matter at all.
Karthigesh posted over a year ago
*
Trust me, TruBerries knows what she's talking about. She's tried that on so many different levels and the guys were at least in her area so she wouldn't have said that online relationships never work if she hadn't been in one herself. The girl KNOWS what she's talking about whether you agree with her or not.
LuvelyKysses posted over a year ago
*
I understand that she knows what she is talking about, but that does not mean long-distance or internet relationships are bound to fail from the beginning. I respect her and her feelings, but things like these aren't a certainty because I have met several couples who have met online and are together now. Some are even countries and continents apart. I just do not want people to buy into the idea that it is a definite failure. Couples like that really had put their heart and soul into making it work and that is the point i was trying to make. Things like these aren't for certain, love is a variable entity.
Karthigesh posted over a year ago
luckyluciano said:
(depending on how well you know him) ask him to come over for a soda or something. tell him its JUST to get to know eachother more.
select as best answer
posted over a year ago 
inuyasha15 said:
don't give him any of your information not your name, age, or where you live. because you don't know who your dealing with. he could even steal your personal life and ruin that. so if i were you use a fake name and age that way you're protecting yourself.
select as best answer
don't give him any of your information not your name, age, or where you live. because you don't know who your dealing with. he could even steal your personal life and ruin that. so if i were you use a fake name and age that way you're protecting yourself.
posted over a year ago 
next question »