Puddle of mud- She fucking hates me(2nd break up song for xinan)

emolove98219 :'( Honney im worryd about you dear :'*

larrah111 No need to be worried, I'm fine now but on Saturday I was a wreck. I cried so hard that I was choking and hyperventilating. And then I started having panic attacks and I was shaking and having body spasms and tremmors. And my mom had to hold me so I didn't end up hurting myself because I couldn't control my body. I was crying and screaming so hard... And my mom had to rock me and rub my face to get me to calm down and fall asleep. It was embarassing... But I had this insane paranoid fear of losing her or someone taking her and her not being mine anymore and it all came true and I didn't know how to handle it. But I woke up Sunday and the body spasms started and I felt like I was gonna puke but I breathed in and out and went and saw some family and idk just within a couple hours of everyone saying things about her. I kinda laughed and said that they were right and I don't need her, she wasn't a good girlfriend, I wasn't truly happy and I deserved someone who makes me happy. She's got her own issues I don't even think she knows who she is right now never mind wanting a gf. She's gotta do her... But the thing I never got Is if she only loved me as a friend or family.... Family doesn't make out and suggest sex... Just saying I think I was used and I just never saw it cuz I loved her so much....