English means not first language, so please, don't eat me.

So, as you all know, season 5 was seriously different from the other seasons. You can love it or hate it, say, that characters only went deeper, not changed, say, that TV show can't stand in one place for ever. But you can't deny that it wasn't the same.
I watched it again - passed few first episodes and started from Lucky 13, because I just felt like this, and I think I found the moment when everything went wrong. What was really weird for me, because all season five I was sure that things were getting better.
So, yeah, well, they wasn't.
Some of you might know that I've always said how much I hate this season and repeated over again that I regretted every minute of watching it, and, yeah, I know, it got really boring. Sorry! :P

So, I started with Lucky Thirteen. I never liked Thirteen, so I thought that the nicest part of the episode is going to be girl on girl action. But later I found myself really interested. It doesn't mean that I started to like someone, only.. see more.
I think this whole episode isn't about dying girl doing stupid things. I think it's about sick girl with very deep control issues. She know that she will loose control over her body, so she tries to get this the other way - controlling girls she drags to bed, the case, after she gets fired, the way the other people see her. House says this himself, and I think it's one of the best character analysis in the show.
I also think that this episode had a very huge potential in case "my-doctor-takes-drugs-drinks-is having sex-and-comes-to-work-on-hangover", but it wasn't pointed at all, not counting clinic scene with Cuddy. About Cuddy, she seemed a little weird for me. She haven't that spark, ironic being I always liked. But it's not about that...
We see control issues when 13 is with POTW, she's glad, in some way, that her lover is dying. She can control her in some way, by holding her hand and talking, she knows so much more about what's going to happen in patient's mind, and, 13 is not alone in her dying anymore.


Control issues come back in "Last Resort", and, in the last moment, when crazy dude with the gun says 13, that she needs someone to kill her, because she can't do this herself, she realizes, that she can't end her life. She don't want to die. And this scene is beautiful and best Olivia's acting part, because, even if I really like this girl, she's not very good at doing drama or... most of feelings at all. I always have tears in my eyes when she says that. I guess most of us don't want to die, really don't, but we don't realize that until some point.
So, 13 storyline until there was really good. But after that she changed a lot - since "leave my illness alone" to "well, sorry, but in every episode I have to repeat you that I'M DYING", and there were no control issues anymore. No screw up girl. just Mary Sue. Shame.
At the end of "Lucky" it's reviled that Cuddy is going to have a baby. And House feels shocked about that. He reminds me, at this point, my feelings, when my friend told me, that she has a boyfriend. There were some guys who liked her before, but it was the first time she liked any of them. I didn't know if I should be happy for her, or to cry, because I somehow was left alone, she took next step, and I didn't. I think House felt the same way. He was horrified by losing Cuddy and the fact, that she's actually doing something in her life, and he's still miserable.
I think that main mistake in Joy was not-putting-Becca as a POWT. Case was really great, but Cuddy thing was too big to share it with other patients. It's a big waste of case.
I loved Lisa in this episode. Edelstein showed feelings of Cuddy perfectly, and Cuddy was written perfectly. It was old Cuddy I loved. With her stubbornness, her child obsession and her risking for a kid. For the whole episode House doesn't mean a lot of her and it's right. She has other things on her mind. And at some point she comes to his office and asks for help. And he's using that, and she's disappointed. That's totally normal too.
And, House. It's clear that he feels bad about the baby. Because of reasons I wrote before. And in the end, he comes to her home, a little Joy is gone (wow, I could write a song at this point), so he's not in danger anymore. His mask falls apart and he tells how he really feels - that Cuddy would be a great mom.
And Cuddy is pissed. Lol. So, House opened up, and now his scared of this fact. And Cuddy is very sad, and they don't even know what they are doing. I don't see any love in this kiss, and I really like it. I excepted it to bee beautiful or passionate, but it was very ugly, human, very lost, and that was the best of it. It was so real.
And I saw something finally - all time, including this point, House wanted Cuddy so much more than she wanted him. And it's continued, in Itch, in Emancipation, in last resort. He's the one who has deep feelings for her and is confused. Cuddy doesn't take that so seriously. I'm not saying she doesn't feel anything at all and is neutral, but she's closer to that than to what House shows.


Then, in Let Them Eat cake, everything changes. Cuddy becomes a fangirl who's in love in House and tries to seduce him, and he doesn't care that much anymore. And it makes no sense. It wasn't happening before. Characters was acting right, they were snarky, but the whole situation about Cuddy moving there to trying to do something about him is just an absurd,
And boobgrab. It's the worst thing House had ever done. Really. He always, when it came to important things, like medicine, or trust, or babies - he respected Cuddy a lot. Writers and creators changed ruined it all by this gesture, treating her feelings like nothing (but aside that they had no sense) and her herself like a piece of meat. And I hated that.
And after that episode (which I really liked aside nonsense thing and no respect for Cuddy. I think it was the best case and POWT of all season) I... Didn't wanted to watch season 5 anymore. I thought of Joy To The World, Painless and I didn't wanted to see any of them. I considered Big Baby, but after that I thought about The Greater Good... And I realized season wasn't getting better, like i thought, it was getting worse. Or it wasn't changing at all. But Let them Eat Cake, even, if was enjoyable, was the begging of not-awesome-anymore.


In the 'Let Them" we get also 14 storyline, which I don't like at all, and I hate the fact that 13 is the only one, apart House, who got own flashback. She's not that important for the show.
So, to reassume:

"Lucky Thirteen" - goes up in my private rank. So much better than I remembered it.
"Joy" - still the one of best episodes, different, and medicine is in the background, but it's still great.
"The Itch" - it was one of my favorites before watching it again, and I still liked it. I was a little confused about House thing here. He wants or not? I think he wanted to forget the whole thing, but Wilson didn't let him. And I think Wilson was really good at analyzing his friends here. Too big a chance and talking to Cuddy in cafeteria - I really agree with these scenes. I didn't liked much how he pushed them to action - I think House was right about Wilson's lack of life and trying to do something about his friends.
"Emancipation" - it wasn't good episode or bad episode. It was a lot of medicine here, but the case, or patient, didn't took my breath away. I was glad there were more Chase and Cameron, and the second case was interesting.
"Last Resort" - I realize it's total bullshit, and if every guy with gun could paralyze hospital and jerk SWAT around, there would be no hospitals anymore. I didn't like how they tried to make POTW House, about obsession of knowing, I didn't buy it. And Wilson, who wasn't worried at all?!
But there was something about this episode... House becoming a terrorist to figure out an answer, people in office acting like a scared animals, hoping to survive... 13 control issues I wrote before. I liked it.
Let Them Eat Cake was the only one who I remembered better that I found it now.
Season 5 had really big potential, but something went wrong. About Cuddy and Wilson mostly, maybe a little about 13.
There's still a second part of the season waiting for me, and as soon as I will be ready to force it, I'm sure, I'll find something new again. Maybe I'll be smarter after that. And maybe I just will waste my time.