It was midnight when you decided to stood up from your bed. You’ve been toss and turning for about an hour now and sleep hasn’t been part of the plan of your neurons in your brain. You walked down the hall only to find peace just by looking at a door at the end of the lonely pavement, a feeling you’ve been trying to find for several days now. You limped towards the doorknob, making sure not to disturb anyone near you. You stopped, knowing the woman behind the door might not want and need you. It took you a couple of minutes before you set yourself that this will be the night that will change everything both of you shared.

Your breath was caught up by the view in front of you. She’s there. Silently seated with a book wide open to further add the knowledge you undeniably admire. “Hi,” she greeted as her head turned to look at you. Her eyes almost lifted your soul out of your body and it was surprising that you could still respond with her greeting and was able to stand in front of her after she did the same. Her eyes were speaking words like yours, words that were ought to be said since the day you met but both of you were coward enough to admit. As the adage goes, “eyes never lie” indeed it never do because tonight no speech is needed to proclaim how you and her wanted this moment to go on since those stares you’re currently exchanging, love is in the air.

You hate melodramatic moments but still you found yourself saying, “I love you.” She didn’t say anything in return. Suddenly, fear ran down your veins as the image of what you hallucinated about the two of you began to flashed in your eyes. You’re afraid she finally knew about it and worst thing, her leaving you, might happen but it was snapped away when she palmed your neck just like what she did, in your hallucination, a day before you got in Mayfield.
“I know you do,” she said with a smile, “and I do love you too.”

You gave out your most genuine smile as you slowly leaned down to kiss her. Her eyes were locked on your lips that only met Vicodin for years before she closed it as you did with yours to savor the moment you’ve been waiting for. Lips and tongue finally collided before it resides in the mouth of the other. The first contact brought sparks to your groin region and you could tell she felt your erection the moment she gasped under your breath. Your loose hands slowly ran down on her back that only pulled her closer. There were no moments of separation except when you two tilted your heads the other way for the comfort of your tongues while her hands were playfully roaming behind your back.

The hallucination was reenacted. You pulled her blazer off as she bit your bottom lip; her shirt was being pull up and your rough hands finally meet her bare soft skin. Little did you know, you were moaning too while she discard your shirt to meet her garments on the floor. Pants and slacks were undone before you heavily, but carefully, pushed her on the nearest couch as possible. The heat was so intense that you went directly to lick her now exposed clit as she twisted her body in pleasure with hands rubbing your cock up and down.

You don’t know what you’re hurrying up to or why, maybe it’s because of the longing you had for her. With a glint in her eyes, you know she wanted you too, in fact, she needed you. It was a cue that made you stayed between her legs, to finally push almost all yourself in…which you did.
Her head was thrown back as you enjoyed the feeling of tightness surrounding you at the bottom. You looked at her, eyes were shut, sweats running down like drizzle, nipples swelled and abdomen contracted. You can’t deny, you love the view. Your tongue met her throat where you felt her larynx vibrate while every moan was released as you lick down to one of her nipples. You latched, teased it just the way you know she likes while you hip was moving in a slow, fast, slow motion like it has its own mind to do so.
God, Cuddy, damn you for feeling so good, you thought, damn you. You buried your face on her shoulder as the thrusting goes on. Your panting brought her smell in your nose. Her smell, is so Cuddy that you would want to have her close to you every single minute of your life after this. The familiar shape of her curves that were just ones before your eyes are now under your palm that seemed to stay in your hand lines forever.

You know you can’t hold on no longer as you open your eyes to look at her and knowing you were the one who cause her juice to flow down, it almost brought you to your own release. She tightened around you as your name came out of her mouth, begging you to slow down or she’ll burst but you didn’t follow. It took another five thrust before she felt your own seeds swimming inside and you collapsed on top of her with head landing back on her shoulder. Heavy breathing owned the room as you felt your cock slowly softening inside.
“House,” she uttered after she calmed down before you lifted your head to look at her and your eyes widened the moment your stare landed on her face.
Maybe it’s just you or maybe it’s every man’s experience, that post-orgasmic phase not only let you meet your bed at once but it also wakens you up to what reality really held you at, either way it sucks. “Audrey?” you uttered the name you couldn’t even think you could. You pulled out as the thought of having sex with Cuddy was also being pulled out from your being.

Audrey looked at you with such confuse looks that you can’t even looked back at her unlike what you did earlier as you pulled your boxers, trousers and pants on again. You first stammered knowing another mistake was brought up in your life’s list, “I’m so sorry,” was all you could say.
You hate to admit it but you knew you only used Audrey to satisfy your sexual and emotional yearning for the woman you love but nobody could blame you, you thought she was Cuddy at the first place. The smell, the shape of her curves, the breasts you held was actually wasn’t her. Maybe it’s your default description of a woman that made you think it was Cuddy before you.

She tried to convince you it was okay but for you, it was a sin (for the first time in your life, sex was a sin in you). You repeated the words, “I’m sorry” for about three times more until she figured out what was really in your head. You ran away towards the door hoping this thing could also run away as easy as that. The door was close tightly behind you and there you started to hear sobs. You knew you hurt Audrey but her tears and the sex can not and will never be the reason to replace the woman you really are in love with.