The broken pieces of a glass House threw minutes after Wilson left had been cleared by the nurses and all things are back to normal now, well, not really. The diagnostician hasn’t been himself since the argument broke out and he feels nothing but guilt and deep regret. He wanted so many things as he sat by his window sill and he wanted all of them to be granted right on that moment. He wanted a time machine to bring back time, he wanted a bang to his head for him to come back to his senses and he wanted Cuddy to go back to his life. Unfortunately, none of those can be granted. He wasted everything that has been given to him and he knows, getting them all back in his arms is like a dim light in a foggy morning.
His throat was sore because of the tears he was holding back and his eyes were bloodshot red since sleep wasn’t in his mind that night. His mind wander in places he could think of, making him unable to notice a human figure was now standing by his doorway. The woman cleared her throat and she was able to get his attention.
Blythe: Greg…
House sniffled for the last time. Hoping it would hide the pain he has both physically and emotionally. He went down and kissed his mother as she held his head up.
Blythe: You’ve been crying? --- What’s wrong?
House: Nothing…
Blythe sighed and looked at her son as he took the empty space on his bed before she did the same.
Blythe: You really wanted me to believe that?
House: Mom… said it’s nothing…
He avoided his mother’s gaze knowing she has the ability to read his mind just by looking at his eyes. He gave a sigh as Blythe studied him silently.
House: <calmly> I had a fight…
Blythe: Oh… sorry to hear that…
House nodded in return but still wasn’t meeting her stares.
Blythe: With Lisa?
House looked up at her and his mind was bugged how come his mother knew.
Blythe: You won’t be acting like this if you had a fight with James or any of your subordinates…
House: Right…
Blythe: What happened?
House: She was pissed at me being pissed and both of us ended up pissing each other…
Blythe: And that pissing contest brought you here…
House: <nodded> Yah… ---- and stupid of me to send her away…
Blythe: Oh Greg…
She moved to hug her son which he found comforting. If only he’s still a young boy, he would have cry on her shoulder again. When his mother pulled back and tears of sympathy were in her eyes, he nearly gave in to a quiet sob.
Blythe: Don’t tell me you’re just going to seat here and do nothing…
House: I don’t know how to do this…
He honestly said before Blythe got her bag and took a pen and paper and offered them to her son which the not-a-big-letter-writer took.
When Blythe drove out from Mayfield the next morning, House found himself seated on one of the baseball raisers while Pitt and Daniel were playing catch with a baseball. His doctor happened to turn his head to him and signaled his friend to stop the game.
Pitt: House…
The doctor got his patient’s attention.
Pitt: Killing yourself with regret?
Daniel: Go to hell Pitt, it’s not just regret… Guilt comes with it…
The two men look at Daniel knowing the jerk’s right this time. Pitt nodded in agreement and sat one raiser below House.
Pitt: She’ll be back…
House: You’re saying what I wanted to hear…
Pitt: I’m saying what you want to hear AND I’m saying what will happen… She will be back…
House: <sighed> She told you that?
Pitt: <stammered> No…
House: Then she won’t…
House looked ahead of him with no exact scene to focus to, just to get away with Pitt’s cunning stares, as Daniel joined them by seating on one of the raisers too.
Daniel: If she doesn’t come back, don’t self-destruct, buddy. Go get a new one…
House: I don’t want a new one…
Daniel: So you’re just going to cry yourself to sleep starting… hmm… tonight?
House: I said… I don’t want a new one… so shut up…
Pitt: What did Cuddy do to make Gregory House heads over heels with her?
Silence.
The question hanged in the air for about thirty minutes. Daniel had already left the baseball field but the answer was still playing in House’s mind. The question itself drives him crazy but he knows the answer drives him twice as much. They are more than a hundred and he’s ready to jot them down and read it aloud if it could bring her back. As he pulls out a piece of folded paper, he’s hoping Cuddy would also find reasons why she should love him back.
He looked down and quietly re-read the scribbles he did on that sheet of parchment paper. He care less about his “doctor-ly” handwriting since the things he wrote down matters to him the most.
Cuddy, (Lisa, if you would allow me to call you)
The pain I have cost you is painful than what I am feeling now… for that… I am sorry. I know it’s stupid of me to just say that but I find no words to describe how much I regret the things I have done to you. My tears and pain are actually not enough to replace the tears that might have fallen the moment you walked out of my room.
So please, give me another chance, let me be the man who’ll wipe them away. I know I want to, I know I could. Just give me the second (- wait a second, is it really the second chance, oh never mind, just give me the chance-).
I’ll be waiting for your next visit.
Come by early, would you? Let me get some sleep and I could only do that after you come in and visit me again.
Sorry bastard,
Greg (I would love to hear you call me that way)
As House was reading his letter to Cuddy, Wilson made his way next to Pitt, only to send some news. The moment the oncologist word reached Pitt’s ears, the psychiatrist’s eyes grew wider and were then filled with concern.
Pitt: You have to tell him…
Wilson: I am not an idiot, I know, and you know for sure, what’s the downside effect of this to him.
Pitt: Wilson, he has the right…
Wilson went into silence as Pitt called his patient who eventually walked towards them.
Pitt: Goddamn it, tell him now before things get worse…
Wilson: <sighed> Cuddy… left for Michigan this morning… She left nothing…
Deep inside, Wilson was holding his breath so with Pitt as both of them look at their friend who stood there motionless. House wanted to question everyone, every god, every saint, everything he knew that would give him answer to his question… why? Why did she left? But no one answered him, not even Wilson.
Pitt’s attention was drawn down to House’s hand. There was the folded letter that was suppose to patch things up, that would iron the crumpled sheet but now it’s also another crumpled piece of paper as House slowly curl it in his palm. As it fell on the ground, Wilson’s stares were also landing on it while anger and guilt volt in the diagnostician’s heartbroken world.
The letter soon met the ground as House began walking away from Pitt and Wilson. The gestures, the eyes, the body language were enough to let everyone who happened to be on his pathway know, that House was greatly shattered by Cuddy leaving New Jersey.
His throat was sore because of the tears he was holding back and his eyes were bloodshot red since sleep wasn’t in his mind that night. His mind wander in places he could think of, making him unable to notice a human figure was now standing by his doorway. The woman cleared her throat and she was able to get his attention.
Blythe: Greg…
House sniffled for the last time. Hoping it would hide the pain he has both physically and emotionally. He went down and kissed his mother as she held his head up.
Blythe: You’ve been crying? --- What’s wrong?
House: Nothing…
Blythe sighed and looked at her son as he took the empty space on his bed before she did the same.
Blythe: You really wanted me to believe that?
House: Mom… said it’s nothing…
He avoided his mother’s gaze knowing she has the ability to read his mind just by looking at his eyes. He gave a sigh as Blythe studied him silently.
House: <calmly> I had a fight…
Blythe: Oh… sorry to hear that…
House nodded in return but still wasn’t meeting her stares.
Blythe: With Lisa?
House looked up at her and his mind was bugged how come his mother knew.
Blythe: You won’t be acting like this if you had a fight with James or any of your subordinates…
House: Right…
Blythe: What happened?
House: She was pissed at me being pissed and both of us ended up pissing each other…
Blythe: And that pissing contest brought you here…
House: <nodded> Yah… ---- and stupid of me to send her away…
Blythe: Oh Greg…
She moved to hug her son which he found comforting. If only he’s still a young boy, he would have cry on her shoulder again. When his mother pulled back and tears of sympathy were in her eyes, he nearly gave in to a quiet sob.
Blythe: Don’t tell me you’re just going to seat here and do nothing…
House: I don’t know how to do this…
He honestly said before Blythe got her bag and took a pen and paper and offered them to her son which the not-a-big-letter-writer took.
When Blythe drove out from Mayfield the next morning, House found himself seated on one of the baseball raisers while Pitt and Daniel were playing catch with a baseball. His doctor happened to turn his head to him and signaled his friend to stop the game.
Pitt: House…
The doctor got his patient’s attention.
Pitt: Killing yourself with regret?
Daniel: Go to hell Pitt, it’s not just regret… Guilt comes with it…
The two men look at Daniel knowing the jerk’s right this time. Pitt nodded in agreement and sat one raiser below House.
Pitt: She’ll be back…
House: You’re saying what I wanted to hear…
Pitt: I’m saying what you want to hear AND I’m saying what will happen… She will be back…
House: <sighed> She told you that?
Pitt: <stammered> No…
House: Then she won’t…
House looked ahead of him with no exact scene to focus to, just to get away with Pitt’s cunning stares, as Daniel joined them by seating on one of the raisers too.
Daniel: If she doesn’t come back, don’t self-destruct, buddy. Go get a new one…
House: I don’t want a new one…
Daniel: So you’re just going to cry yourself to sleep starting… hmm… tonight?
House: I said… I don’t want a new one… so shut up…
Pitt: What did Cuddy do to make Gregory House heads over heels with her?
Silence.
The question hanged in the air for about thirty minutes. Daniel had already left the baseball field but the answer was still playing in House’s mind. The question itself drives him crazy but he knows the answer drives him twice as much. They are more than a hundred and he’s ready to jot them down and read it aloud if it could bring her back. As he pulls out a piece of folded paper, he’s hoping Cuddy would also find reasons why she should love him back.
He looked down and quietly re-read the scribbles he did on that sheet of parchment paper. He care less about his “doctor-ly” handwriting since the things he wrote down matters to him the most.
Cuddy, (Lisa, if you would allow me to call you)
The pain I have cost you is painful than what I am feeling now… for that… I am sorry. I know it’s stupid of me to just say that but I find no words to describe how much I regret the things I have done to you. My tears and pain are actually not enough to replace the tears that might have fallen the moment you walked out of my room.
So please, give me another chance, let me be the man who’ll wipe them away. I know I want to, I know I could. Just give me the second (- wait a second, is it really the second chance, oh never mind, just give me the chance-).
I’ll be waiting for your next visit.
Come by early, would you? Let me get some sleep and I could only do that after you come in and visit me again.
Sorry bastard,
Greg (I would love to hear you call me that way)
As House was reading his letter to Cuddy, Wilson made his way next to Pitt, only to send some news. The moment the oncologist word reached Pitt’s ears, the psychiatrist’s eyes grew wider and were then filled with concern.
Pitt: You have to tell him…
Wilson: I am not an idiot, I know, and you know for sure, what’s the downside effect of this to him.
Pitt: Wilson, he has the right…
Wilson went into silence as Pitt called his patient who eventually walked towards them.
Pitt: Goddamn it, tell him now before things get worse…
Wilson: <sighed> Cuddy… left for Michigan this morning… She left nothing…
Deep inside, Wilson was holding his breath so with Pitt as both of them look at their friend who stood there motionless. House wanted to question everyone, every god, every saint, everything he knew that would give him answer to his question… why? Why did she left? But no one answered him, not even Wilson.
Pitt’s attention was drawn down to House’s hand. There was the folded letter that was suppose to patch things up, that would iron the crumpled sheet but now it’s also another crumpled piece of paper as House slowly curl it in his palm. As it fell on the ground, Wilson’s stares were also landing on it while anger and guilt volt in the diagnostician’s heartbroken world.
The letter soon met the ground as House began walking away from Pitt and Wilson. The gestures, the eyes, the body language were enough to let everyone who happened to be on his pathway know, that House was greatly shattered by Cuddy leaving New Jersey.
