Harry Potter Vs. Twilight Club
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When me and my friend Fiona were in the sixth grade, we decided to write a fanfiction about the Twilight characters going to Hogwarts. (We were both major Twilight fans then.) I wasn't the best writer in those days, so the beginning of the fanfic isn't great, but it gets better as we go along.
You'll notice that our seprate entries can get a bit confusing at times, and that's because we were writing by e-mail because she lives six hours away from me, and we were just making it up as we went along. Fiona is writing about the character Peace, and I am using the character that I use for EVERYTHING, Emily. Anywho, hope you enjoy!

Dear diary,
Why do the bad things always happen to me? Let’s review the day shall we? In three hours I went from happy to hated. Right now I am in the Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry but – I'm getting ahead of myself. I should explain what happened first.
    “Come in” Kyle said. Kyle was a scrawny 12 year old boy-same age as me- with honey blond hair and he usually wore a scientist’s coat. He was in his “office” A.K.A. mad scientist lab. (But don't tell him I said that) “Yo Kyle here is the stack of books that I DO want you to put me in and here is the stack of books I DON'T want you to put me in. I am repeating this slowly so that you understand” I set the books down in different piles. I was like that. Sarcastic and smart mouthy. I am a 12 year old girl with straight copper hair and green eyes. “Ugh” Kyle said “why do you always talk to me like that? I'm tired of it!” “Ok OK ill stop” I started backing up. “EMILY NO!” Kyle said I stopped. “What?” “Oh whew I thought you were going to back up into the GO button”
“What GO button? Whoa!” I said as I fell. “Ow!” I had backed up into something. Hard. “Yeih!” Kyle exclaimed. “That button.”
“Wait huh? Oh no not again” I said as I began disappearing. “Wait a minute aren't I supposed to be going into the books I do want? Oh yeah! Well then I have nothing to worry about except for I put the books on the wrong place didn't I?”
“Yup”
“Oh crap” I said as I went into the books I REALLY did not want to go in.
    So, diary that’s pretty much where we are now

Emily



Dear Diary,

I am having the best day ever. We accidentally combined 2 books and got sucked into them. Now I am a 12 year old witch going to Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry. I am soooooooooooooooo exited. We are going to go to the school tomorrow. When we went to get supplies I saw this realllllllly cute boy. He’s a wizard. He says Slithirin is the best house. That’s the one I wanted to be in. Wait isn't this all a book. Didn’t Emily say not to mess with it? But the wizard guy is soooooooooooooooo cute. Did I ever read this book... yeah, I did....... OMG I HAVE A CRUSH ON DRACO MALFOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We could be death eaters together. I always thought harry was dumb. Who has a name like that, Harry Potter? Maybe he’s a Potter, like the people who make pottery. Maybe he’s a harry potter. Well whatev. I’m going to stop writing now.... yep...... stopping. Bye now

~Peace out

Oh I 4got I <3 DRACO MALFOY



Dear journal,
Why?" why? Why? I never saw anything like it. Ron, sure. Harry, sure but noooooooo peace is hitting on big-mouth boy! I mean Harry's cute and I've had a crush on him since I was like 8 but I would never actually DO anything about it. Besides maybe kill Ginny in her sleep-but Malfoy? Oh and to top it off, the characters in twilight have apparently followed us here! Grrrrrrrrrrrr we got the sorting hat today. Figures. I'm in Gryffindor. Oh but here’s the creepy part: peace. Is. in. Slithirin. Even creepier: SHES HAPPY ABOUT IT! I swear that girl will be a death eater by the end of our journey through the seven books if I don't do something about it QUICK!!!!!
Emily




Dear what-ever-you-are-i-really-dont-care,
Hogwarts express: realllllllllllllllllly good I sat next to Draco. And he talked to me. When we were getting off I tripped and he helped me up. I was soooooooooooooooo close to him. He smelled good. Like blood. Not that I like blood. But it smelled good. Well not blood more like wood chips. New wood chips.....

Feast: well I got sorted into slytherin. SLYTHERIN!!!!!!!!! I know!!!!!!! I am writing under the table. And the food is Soooo good. Draco has been talking to me this whole time. He even passed me sausages. And boy were they good. I think he likes me back. Did I mention how cute he is? Well he is REALLY cute.

Slytherin common room: OH MY GOD NO JOKE!!!!!!!! DRACO KISSED ME IM NOT KIDDING!!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!! HE KISSED ME!!!!!!!!!!! ON THE LIPS!!!!!!!!!!!!! I BET EMILY IS SOOOOOOO JELOUS!!!!!!! I CAN'T WAIT TO TELL HER!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD... WHY AM I STILL WRITING THE CUTEST BOY ON EARTH KISSED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~Peace Malfoy<3





Dear diary,
Ok. It’s official. Peace has gone completely mad. Draco Malfoy kissed her. I wonder if she is still mad for shoving soap in her mouth after she told me. Me and Hermione have been getting along great. And if I know my books we will be going to find the sorcerers stone tomorrow. Weeeeeee. Waaaaaaaaaaa. Harry's hot. But I wouldn't go crushing on him like some back stabbers I know. Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to go toilet paper the slytherin common room (I beat the password out of Crabbe)

Emily



Dear whoever’s-reading-this,
Ok I won’t lie. Me and Draco have been making out every second we are together. He’s such a good kisser. Emily keeps glaring at me, and she’s slapped me several times. The first time I told her she put soap in my mouth. It tasted good. It tasted a lot like Draco’s lips. Wow I love Draco. It all seems like a dream. OH I have to go make out with Draco. Be right back.

BACK. I can’t even describe it. Making out with Draco. I love him. I wonder how long I’ve been here at Hogwarts.

I just asked Draco he says 6 weeks. I just made out with him again. Anyways.....Nothing else much to say. I don’t do much anymore do some magic, some making out, ext... ext....

~Peace Malfoy









Dear journal-diary-thingy,
Kill me. Just kill me. No matter what I did she just keeps making out with big-mouth boy. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!! Any way we are going to have to go in the forbidden forest now. Catch you later.

Emily






Dear whatever-you-are,
Yes this is the same day of my last entry. But,
I.am.mad.at.emily. she toilet papered the common room wail we were asleep. Or at least she thought we were. Me and Draco were making out on a couch and it was facing away from the door. Emily didn't see us. But when she walked around and saw us well. Draco and me tied her up and dragged her to professor snape. Snape took her to Dumbledore. AND GUESS WHAT? Emily lost 100 points for Gryffindor (YES!!!!). I was crying from happiness. Draco thought I was sad so he made out with me to make me feel better. Me and Draco got 10 points each. OH YEAH and another girl named Alice, raven claw, has a crush on Draco. AND she has a boyfriend. What kind of lousy girl does that? Oh and there is this girl named Rosalie? She’s in slytherin too. She always fallows me around. She does whatever I tell her to do. The only bad thing about her is that she has been making out with a hufflepuff boy. HUFFLEPUFF. His name is Emmett. What kind of a name is that? And they are these other two boys Edward and cedric. They look identical, like twins. But they aren’t even related. oh if whoever reads this is wondering how I’m doing in school well; I’ve been copying Draco’s homework(he copied Crabbe’s who copied goyles who coped Rosalie who stole it from someone), I’ve been doing great in all classes. Me and Draco are professor snape's favorites.
I’ve also secretly given this message to Emily:
Emily,
As you know I have been making out with Draco a lot lately. I know how you can be with Harry. Send me back a message soon. Oh and if you get harry you have to do something for me, kill alice. ~Peace
Emily hasn't sent me anything back yet. So yeah....
~Peace Malfoy (well SHOULD be Malfoy)







Dear WHY?!!!!!! WHY?!!!!!! WHY?!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Peace has lost her mind as much as Alice did! (But don’t tell her I said that) me and Edward HATE Malfoy and will beat him up momentarily. This will be GREAT!!! BWA HA HA HA!!!!! Oh wait but peace will kill me. Shoot. Oh! I know! I’ll show her harry potter 4 and 5! THAT will get her to hate Draco. Hopefully. Oh who am I kidding this will never work! But hey, worth a shot.

Emily




Dear uh-what-are-you-again,
Emily hasn't wrote back. OH and good news I remembered what happens in this book. I have told Draco before the 'e-club'(Emily, Harry, Hermione, and Ron) sneaks out. We are going to invade the Gryffindor common room and destroy everything. And even better; I stole the invisibility cloak from headmaster dumb-door (what kind of a name is that?). We are sneaking in tonight. Tonight is also the night Hagrid takes them into the forest for a punishment.


BAD NEWS. Draco went after them and got caught with them. I am going alone to the Gryffindor common room. Draco gave me a good luck kiss. Now I am off to destroy their common room.

~Peace


Draco
4

ever






Must-kill-peace-

Oh sorry I guess I’m just a little spaced out from tonight. Harry asked if he could write tonight’s summary. p.s. I think peace has lost her memory of her past. Again. Making a note to self of talking to Alice about cures for this. I forgave peace for tying me up like that. Heck, I think all my friends have tied me up at some point or an other. Heck Becky even tried to kill me once! (Not on purpose)

Emily said I could write the summary for tonight so here it is. We were walking through the forest with Hagrid Emily, some of Emily's friends, ron, Hermione, and Malfoy when suddenly Hagrid says "lets split up we have to find who has been drinking unicorn blood.” and Emily kind of looked confused, then angry. Her friends all looked around at each other. There’s one of her friends.......Hmmmmm.......that Edward boy, he looks familiar. Hmmm......well we found the person-ish that's been drinking the unicorn blood. Emily attacked it and was flown against a tree and was held there until the horse dude saved her.

Emily & Harry







Dear Peace's Diary,
This is Draco Malfoy writing. Peace broke her left arm so she can no longer write. As you can probably tell she is left handed. I am writing a summery of our day.
We had potions with Professor Snape. Potter lost 10 points for Gryffindor because he is so dumb. Granger lost 2 points. The-Weasle-King lost 4 points. The-Emily-girl lost 22. I, Draco Malfoy, gained 9 points for Slytherin. Peace gained 13 points, lucky her!

Later Peace, Crabbe, Goyles, and I were walking outside. We passed by Hagrid’s Hut and The-Emily-Girl thought we were fallowing them and attacked Peace, which is how Peace broke her arm.

~Draco Malfoy

Oh, wow....... I just read several of the first pages of Peace's Diary. W-O-W







Dear OH CRAP!
Okay I messed up big time I um might have accidentally broke peace's arm. In my defense I thought they were following us! I was telling them about the Edward-Cedric mix up and the last thing I wanted was big mouth boy and his friends to hear. So I kind of jumped on her. Oops. Oh, and um harry is acting really weird. Like he crushes on be back! UH_OH! NOT good! This could totally mess things up with harry and Ginny! Only a love potion could have done this! I swear when I get my hands on peace she will have to write with her feet. Oh and I saw Draco Malfoy writing in peace's diary for her. I have to get my hands on that diary! SORCERERS STONE COUNTDOWN: 2 WEEKS!

Emily
posted by teamsalvatore98
Hello, everyone. It's me, teamsalvatore. (Salvy)

So this club is Potter vs. Twilight, Rowling vs. Meyer, Wizards vs. Vampires. I, personally, my opinion, think that Twilight is better than Harry Potter. BUT I think that there are some redundant things in Twilight. And remember, these are ust my opinions:

-Bella's weakness; She's helpless, and turning girls everywhere into weak, spineless idiots. She's making girls everywhere think they need a guy like Edward to protect them.
-Edward's obvious self-hate; He's a non-cutting emo, for crying out loud! A wannabe! We get it, Eddy, you don't like yourself....
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Okay. I know what you are all thinking. Oh no not another Harry Potter vs. Twilight article but yes I am making one because I can. I just want my opinion to be heard. So first off let me list the reasons why children, teens and adults can love Harry Potter and the good messages that Harry Potter gets across. Harry Potter first of all teaches people about the very special bond between people called friendship. Harry, Hermione and Ron are a perfect example of friendship. They are all with Harry until the very end like they promised. They risk their lives for each other and even though they fight,...
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posted by TeamSiriusBlack
    Ok, well I’m getting pretty tired of people saying that Bella and Edward’s relationship is love. It’s not. It’s just lust. Let’s look at the clues:
-She sees him and thinks he’s gorgeous.
-He likes her smell.
-He’s a vampire.
    Now, before I start writing about these points, I would like to compare the relationship to that of Snape and Lily. Yes, they have never gone out but they didn’t need to. Snape met Lily when they were little. He probably thought she was pretty and developed a crush on her which bloomed into love. When Snape found...
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posted by Sophia21
Realised the points have little to do with plot, thus changed the title to errors.

My apologise to Twilight fans if I'm a little too harsh, but I have reread the books like twice this month and it was a little exasperating. Not to worry, I'm currently rereading Harry Potter, so a plothole list on it will be added soon =)

Ok, let's get started:

1.A hundred years of...nothingness?
Explanation: I don't expect science fiction books to be scientifically accurate. But if you plan your main character to live 100 years studying in prep forever at the age of 17, make the whole book plausible. No, just saying...
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added by Gred_and_Forge
Source: Tumblr
added by TeamSiriusBlack
added by nati30
Source: Once again, another pic I found in the C.A.T. spot
I made a list of combined and possible plot holes about Harry Potter. Some of them I came up with myself, and some of them I got from different places online. If you can give explanation answering the questions ,do it please.
I purposely put in a few really really picky question because there are a lot of articles about Twilight like this, so I want to see how Harry Potter fans respond to the ridiculously picks questions. I'm not going to tell you which ones they are, but they should be easy to pick out.





1.    Why do the founders of Hogwarts have surnames? Family names weren’t...
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posted by BedIntruder
95 Reasons Why Twilight Sucks
Opinion by BedIntruder posted 4 hours ago


1. Bella is a perfect character (“Mary Sue”), which Meyer hides by calling her clumsy.
2. Being clumsy is not a flaw if Edward always catches her.
3. She can’t do anything without Edward.
4. And when he leaves she attempts to commit suicide.
5. Meyer is living out her own fantasies by writing about Bella, who is clearly herself.
6. The books aren’t well written, just because every other word is a fancy adjective doesn’t make it good writing.
7. All the rules Meyer sets for being a vampire are broken by the end of the...
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added by youknowit101
Source: trollposts@tumblr
added by kenzichu
link


116. "BTW Twilight is the bestest film ever" I get really frusterated when soomebody compares the films instead off the movies. And whats worse is that you arent giving any reasons. "Stop hating, pick-up Twilight, actually read it and you will love it and stop hating Twilight". Has it ever occurred to you that twilight haters have read the whole series? Like me? "HP is all around boring and it is made for younger children". I dont understand how Harry Potter can be so boring. Maybe you didnt keep up with the amount of action and romance and magic and the mystery. Or maybe you didnt read...
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posted by lucius_malloy
So, once there was this girl - well, actually that girl still is - but anyway, this girl who we'll call Emma, for the purposes of now. (Well, actually, we'll call her that because it's her name. But you get the point.)

Around two, two and a half years ago, when Emma was in sixth grade, one of her friends - let's call her K, if she must have a name - was reading a book that looked rather interesting. It was black, with a shiny hard cover, and had an apple on the front. It was called Houkutus, which translates to Temptation. Emma liked the name and thought it might prove an interesting read, but...
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posted by GemonkDruid
Too true!
Too true!
I discovered these song spoofs in my writing folder from my "Uber-Anti" stage, and I decided to share it with you guys, for the sake of nostalgia and whatnot.

Dumb Isabella (spoof on Umbrella by Rihanna)-

You wanna be, a sparkly Meyer-pire like me
Maybe in your dreams, but never in reality
Until you agree, to take my hand and marry me
And that's when you’ll want me there
to turn you into a vampire
Because

[Chorus]
You’re a stupid Sue who wants us together
Told you I'll be here forever
Said I'll always be your bitch
Took an oath I regret, you crazy witch
Now it's raining more than ever
But we’re...
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posted by LoveforSeverus
Well I've been writing a little fanfic recently and I realized that when I write fanfic, I mostly let my character's handle the plot. Whatever happens to pop in my head at the time, and doesn't go completely against the overall story line, gets put in the fanfic.
But Smeyer says that she wrote Twilight by just "letting her characters handle the plot". There by making it seem a lot like how, not only I, but other people, write fan fiction.
I decided to look up some reasons of what makes a good fan fiction:
"1. Choose the anime/manga/book/video game/movie you want your fan-fic to be about." Vampire's...
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posted by LilRavenclaw95
Okay, my friend and I go to a school that has a thing called 'Lit Circles'. There's a list of books, and Twilight is on there, but not Harry Potter. My friend thought this was totally wrong, and wrote a super long persuasive essay to our English teacher about it. This was all hers, and I can't take credit for how awesome it is :)

Why Twilight Should Be Replaced by Harry Potter in Lit Circles

    Two books sit on the shelf in front of you; on the cover of the first, you see two pale hands holding a deep red apple. The second features a young boy on a broomstick, in midair as...
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posted by ryomaidol
My cousin says we, Harry Potter fans are insecure about this ranting. How should I respond to this?!


(I HAVE TAKEN THINGS FROM OTHER ARTICLES HERE, sorry if used without permission)


HERE IS THE ACTUAL CONVERSATION:

Kjerrimyr リョーマ Andres: says Twilight ang pasimuno ng mga JEJEMON (ANGRY) (Twilight started the Jejemon movement)
46 minutes ago via Plurk · Comment · Like · View comments on Plurk

** ******: weh? PROVE IT!!!
41 minutes ago ·

Kjerrimyr リョーマ Andres: link wahahahah
33 minutes ago ·

** ******: duh! nonsense!
23 minutes ago ·

Kjerrimyr リョーマ Andres: haha Twilighters...
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I did not write this.
1. If a boy is aloof, stand-offish, ignores you or is just plain rude, it is because he is secretly in love with you — and you are the point of his existence.
2.Secrets are good — especially life-threatening ones.
3. It’s OK for a potential romantic interest to be dimwitted, violent and vengeful — as long as he has great abs.
4. If a boy tells you to stay away from him because he is dangerous and may even kill you, he must be the love of your life. You should stay with him since he will keep you safe forever.
5. If a boy leaves you, especially suddenly (while telling...
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Dear Stephenie Meyer,

May I first tell you that your 'Saga' is complete and utter crap. I also would like to highlight the fact that your 'books' are an insult to literature and vampires.
When reading them at first, I thought that they were quite good, and for a while I was a Twilight fan, but your fanbase has gotten huge, along with your head. This is one of the reasons I don't like Twilight. I've read other points on why Twilight and the rest of the 'saga' are bad, and I fully agree with the points raised. The points that I have read about have made me realise how bad Twilight and the rest...
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added by KateKicksAss