Harry Potter Vs. Twilight Club
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posted by harrypotterbest
Harry and his friend entered the hotel in high spirits. Hermione, Ron, and Ginny were already there, and one look told them they had been very worried. Ginny glanced at Harry’s wide smile and the newcomer, and said, very icily, “Who is she?” to Harry.
Harry grinned even wider, and J K smiled. “This, Ginny, is the one and only J K Rowling!” He saw their looks of astonishment. “You know,” he added, “she wrote our books!”
“Oh,” said Ginny, sounding rather relieved. Ron laughed.
Hermione looked surprised, but knowing as to why he had brought J K.
“And why did you bring J K?” asked Ginny. “Not that I have any objection-”
“Yeah right,” muttered Ron. Ginny ignored him, though her cheeks turned pink.
Harry also ignored Ron’s last comment, and said to Ginny “If Meyer challenges us to a duel; we need J K to help us plan our moves.”
J K smiled warmly at them all. “Please call me Joanne,” she said. “Or Jo, whichever you prefer.” She smiled again, and concluded with “You don’t need me to ‘plan’ your moves; you can battle very well by your selves. Harry here -” she threw an annoyed glance at Harry, who grinned, “convinced me to come saying I would get a chance to meet wizards, and Stephanie.”
“So let’s go,” said Ron, impatient as ever. They walked down the street to Meyer’s house, knowing which one it was because of their magic powers. The walk was short, and the friends entertained each other by telling amusing stories – though on the wizards’ side it was useless, as J K already knew everything.
Finally reaching Meyer’s house, the wizards stopped. J K felt nervous, even if she was with the four best wizards of the time.
Ron said, “Blimey. It’s easier to defeat Voldemort than to knock on a door.” Everyone laughed. Indeed, Harry felt his sides aching from laughter.
Now at last knocking on the door, it was opened by Meyer a second later. She looked surprised to see them, but welcomed them in.
“So,” said Meyer, sighing, “dedicated fans you must be, to track me down just for an autograph. However, I will sign, hope you brought your copies of my saga.” And she smiled expectantly at them.
Harry glanced at his partners. Hermione looked angry, and made a small noise of contempt from her throat. Joanne was looking shocked, Ginny even more so, and Ron looked completely dumbfounded. He didn’t know it, being not so good at Legilemency, but they were all thinking the same thing – “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” A rule that Meyer obviously had no clue about.
As it looked as though none of them would speak, he stepped forward. “Ms. Meyer,” he began, “I am Harry Potter.” Meyer looked disbelieving. He was about to continue when Jo stepped forward.
“Stephanie Meyer, I am J K Rowling, and this man here,” she indicated Harry “speaks the truth. Wizards are real.”
Meyer snorted. “Evidently you are crazy fans.”
J K raised her eyebrows, but said to the four wizards, “Let us go. It could not be clearer we are wasting our time.”
Before they turned to leave, Harry performed Legilemency against Meyer, and found out she believed them, but was too scared to acknowledge it. He stopped them from leaving, and took out his wand. “Do you want proof?” he asked Meyer, already knowing the answer.
Meyer nodded, unable to say anything. He pointed his wand at the pen in her hand and said, “Wingardium Leviosa!” The pen started to float upward and Meyer screamed.
“AHHHH!” she yelled. “Help!” J K told Harry to stop. He flicked his wand and the pen fell down. Meyer was staring at it. “W-Where are E-Edward and J-J-Jacob when you n-need them,” she said shakily.
At that moment, the hallway of Meyer’s house started to shine. Brighter and brighter it got, until Harry couldn’t look at it anymore. He turned away and noticed the rest doing the same. The sound of an explosion was made, though Harry somehow knew that only they could hear it. And just as suddenly as it started, it was over.
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posted by siriuslyawesome
I like Twilight. I used to love Twilight. But then, I began to feel disappointed. I wanted Bella to have DONE something that actually could affect the entire WORLD. Suddenly, I created my own versions of Edward and Bella and the Volturi. I like Twilight as it is....but it would be much better like this.
-1-
Bella Swan tugged on her muddy brown ponytail to keep in in place as thundered roared and rain came down in buckets on the deserted island. The forest, slick with slime and muck, was dangerous enough without HIM lurking in the shadows. Her ears picked up a soft sound beneath the gale. He...
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Note: I originally had this as a question, but I guess it was too long, so I'm re-posting this in an article.

Question number one: Vampires hearts don't beat, correct? Correct. I believe this is mentioned several times. Now, in health class, they teach you that your heart pumps and makes your blood flow, correct? Correct. So, it stands to reason that, since vampires hearts don't beat, they don't have blood flow, correct? Yes. So, they have no blood flow, no circulation. They cannot bleed, or blush, or anything related to circulation, yes? Yes. This is said several times in the book.

Now, call...
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Source: ReasoningWithVampires