There are many theories as to why it makes no sense for Dan to be Gossip Girl, from feigning shock for the walls of his bedroom, to spreading rumers about Jenny’s sex life and sabotaging his own relationship with Serena multiple times and even making split decisions based on posts that he just saw on gossip girl.

I could rationalize all of these theories, but so far in my rewatching there is one reason that stands above all and makes it actually completely physically IMPOSSIBLE for Dan to be gossip girl. SEASON 2 EPISODE 15!!!!! First of all, Nelly Yuki steals Dans phone!! Right away wouldn’t she see that he is Gossip Girl by looking in his phone?!

Later on in the episode, the blast comes out that Dan and Serena share a sibling as the cameras are on Dan AND he is in mid conversation with Serena. There is no way he could have sent the blast.

He doesn’t even have a phone at this point and he obviously didn’t send it by e-mail, it’s apparent that Jenny did not help him send that blast because later on in the episode she asks dan, “are we really not gonna talk about this”? If he had asked her to send the blast then they probably already would have talked about it. It would have been impossible for Dan to have had a second “gossip girl phone” without his Dad knowing because he doesn’t work or have his own source of income and he never would have been able to hide it from Serena. Nothing about this Storyline makes any sense whatsoever and it’s really ruining my love for gg. Why didn’t the writers see this?! The idea of Dan as GG can work but they didn’t make it work at all, they didn’t even try. And what about that one quote of his, “If I have to exploit people to be a good writer than maybe I’m not a good writer....” it seems like they really just half assed it with that decision, no thought whatsoever. I read that originally GG was Eric which actually makes more sense but they changed it to Dan after the tabloids leaked the info. I like the idea of Dan as GG but it is physically impossible which infuriates me.

Also on a side note, does it not piss anybody else off that after attempting to rape Jenny, she goes back to Chuck and loses her virginity to him? Or the fact that after attempting to rape Serena, Chuck ends up marrying her best friend who doesn’t care at all that her best friend was nearly raped by him and sexually harassed by him constantly? Blair is even proud of Chuck saying he’s the only one who never slept with Serena, WELL ITS NOT FOR LACK OF TRYING. And why does Dan forgive Chuck so fast after he attempted to rape his little sister? And I was totally in love with Chuck! Rewatching I realize he’s just like that Bryce kid from 13 reasons, except we all loved him for some reason, and his friends never care that he’s a rapist. AGH!