She felt ill. Worse than that she felt as if she had just made the biggest mistake of her life. It had been a whole week since he had asked Duncan to leave her alone, but now he was just plain ignoring her. She had came up to him twice and he had completely written her off as if she didn’t exist. She had tried to talk to Gwen to see if she could say anything to get him to talk to her, but as soon as Gwen mention Courtney’s name he had walked off. Gwen had tried convincing Trent to talk to him but Trent had only gotten the same response.

Sitting in class with Duncan had grown horribly uncomfortable. They didn’t talk, they didn’t fight, they plain just didn’t say anything to each other. Eventually he just didn’t bother showing up to class leaving Courtney feeling completely alone.

Bridgette upon seeing how upset her friend was ordered Geoff to talk some sense into Duncan, Geoff didn’t know how helpful he could be in this situation but he promised Bridgette to give it a try.

Geoff went to find Duncan during his free class already knowing that Duncan was skipping. He found Duncan at the local park just across from the school taking a long drag of a cigarette. He sat next to his sulking friend and said, “I thought you quit smoking.”

Duncan shrugged nonchalantly. “Guess I didn’t” he responded monotone.

Geoff sighed, he hated to see his friend like this, all stoic and cold. “Dude why don’t you just go talk to Courtney.”

Duncan snarled, “I’m leaving her alone like she fucking wanted me to.”

“Yeah but she only to be left alone for a little while dude, Bridgette tells me she really misses you bro.”

Duncan was almost elated to hear that but his happiness was soon downplayed by his anger. “Whatever,” he said standing up to walk away.

Geoff merely followed him. “I don’t understand you man. You act all bad and tough but you can’t tell her how you feel?”

Duncan was growing increasingly annoyed. “What the fuck do you care?” he hissed.

“I care because you’re my friend and I think Courtney feels the same way about you.” Geoff was a little alarmed when Duncan whipped around at him looking pissed as hell.

“How the hell could you possibly know what Courtney feels? I go out of my way and do all kinds of shit for that girl and she goes flirting with some other guy and treating me as just a friend. How the hell does that translate into “love” or whatever bullshit you think it is.”

Geoff held up his hands defensively and said, “Ever stop to think that maybe she’s afraid? Maybe she’s just confused, or maybe she’s scared you’re the one who doesn’t feel the same.”

Duncan wanted to believe it with everything he had within him, but too much doubt was already in his mind. He didn’t know if he should give up, pursue Courtney, or just keep being friends with her.

He already knew he couldn’t just be friends with her anymore, not after the whole Adam drama. But at the same time he didn’t know if he could pursue her anymore, he didn’t know if he had the strength to be rejected if she really didn’t feel the same. Giving up seemed to be the easiest choice.

Duncan threw the rest of his cigarette on the ground and stomped it out. He walked away from Geoff. “Hey man where you going?”

Duncan didn’t answer as he disappeared.
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Courtney poked at her food, far from hungry. Even if she was hungry she could never eat the school food, Chef was a horrible cook.

She jumped when she felt someone tapping her on the shoulder, she had hoped to turn around and find Duncan. But it was only Bridgette. “I was looking for you.”

Courtney gave her an apologetic glance before going back to her inedible food. “Sorry, I just needed some time alone,” she admitted heavily.

“I would’ve thought you’d be celebrating. I heard the senate wanted you back and that you’re grades are up again. You’ve really been working hard these past few days.”

“Yeah I know,” Courtney replied numbly. The only reason she’d been working so hard lately was to keep herself distracted from the pain gnawing at her.

Bridgette rubbed her friend’s shoulder sympathetically. She was about to say something when Adam suddenly appeared in front of them. “Hey Bridgette can I talk to Courtney for a second?”

Bridgette looked at Courtney and left when Courtney nodded at her. She didn’t feel comfortable being alone with Adam but she felt she owed him an apology for what Duncan had done.

“Hey. Look I’m sorry about Duncan,” she said wincing as the memory of that night came back to her.

Adam shrugged carelessly. “Don’t worry about it, it wasn’t your fault.”

She laughed humorlessly. “That’s not true, but if it makes you feel better I can try to save up some money to help buy you some new equipment.”

Again Adam just waved a dismissive hand at her. “I can always buy new stuff myself. I just can’t understand why someone would have such little disregard for other people.”

Courtney felt a spark of anger go through her as he insulted Duncan. “He does have consideration for other people, he was just upset that night,” she said defending him.

Adam scoffed. “Well he should learn to control his attitude.”

Courtney was beginning to get frustrated by Adam, he was such a stuck up guy, just because he had money and threw some dumb party. “Look, I know Duncan better than anyone, and trust me he wouldn’t have done that if I hadn’t have made him mad. So just back off!”

Adam was shocked by her anger and even a little scared. “Whoa! Sorry, I didn’t mean to get you mad,” Adam said defensively. “I just don’t understand why you’re so close to him. He doesn’t seem to be your type.”

Courtney just rolled her eyes annoyed, as if she needed to explain herself. Still she couldn’t help but do it anyway. “No he’s not my type. He’s not what I expected but I don’t care. He’s fun, he’s caring, He’ a sweetheart when he’s not acting like an ass! He‘s my friend… and I care about him.”

Adam furrowed his brow at her. “If that’s all true then why are you two fighting with each other constantly.”

She smiled at the memories of them fighting with each other over the years. All the insults, bickering, tantrums, and smart ass remarks. “I guess…I guess that’s how we deal with each other. Or maybe it’s… it’s to cover up what we really want to say to each other.”

Suddenly something dawned on Courtney. It was like a sudden realization that took away all her confusion, all her doubt, all her fears. She suddenly stood up in a panic. “Oh my god, I’ve got to go.” She ran out of the cafeteria leaving Adam far behind and went looking for Duncan.

She went in all the usual places Duncan usually hung out. Behind the school, at the burger joint, in the library…yeah right! Finally she arrived at the park and ran up to Geoff who was doing some flips on his skateboard. She practically knocked him over as she ran up to him and grabbed his arms fiercely. “Geoff! Where’s Duncan?”

Geoff looked at her surprised before shaking his head worriedly. “I don’t man. He took of without saying anything, I don’t know where he went.”

Courtney released Geoff and began to grow worried as well. Duncan was known to do stupid things if he was mad or upset enough, and right now the last thing she wanted was for him to get hurt. ‘Duncan where are you?’
_____________________________________________________________________
He was shit-faced. Not that it was anything new but this time all beer in the world couldn’t make him forget her.

Before Courtney he could drink and feel on top of the world, he could forget about his problems for a little while. But with Courtney he didn’t need a reason to drink, with her his problems disappeared all together. With Courtney it was like he had everything he needed. Which was why it was only a matter of time before he screwed it up.

Anything good that came along he was good at fucking up and completely wasting. His parents wishes, his education, his freedom. He rebelled against authority, didn’t give a shit about society, and was always being thrown in juvie.

With Courtney he had hoped to hold on to something good. To try to keep something worthwhile around, to be truly happy for once. But being around her also scared him because it made him realize how much he could care. He was so use to being seen and acting a certain way and then she walks in and completely turned his world around.

Duncan suddenly lurched over and threw up in a bush. He was so disgusted in himself. ‘She doesn’t deserve me,’ he thought furiously.

He continued to walk clumsily in the night until he heard a voice. “Duncan?” He turned around and nearly passed out. Either he was really drunk or Courtney was standing right in front of him.

“Princess? What the hell are you doing here?”

She walked up to him and suddenly cupped his face with her hands. Her touch sent shivers through him. “I’ve been looking for you.” Her nose scrunched up as she smelled him. “Are you drunk?”

He rolled him eyes at her and slurred, “Oh please as if you didn’t think I drank. You’re so naïve.”

Courtney looked at him sadly before taking her hands away from him. “Duncan I need to tell you something.”

To this Duncan only seemed to get more fired up. “Oh you’re here to tell me something? Like what? How I’m such an asshole, how I’m so worthless, how I’m so pathetic.”

Courtney sighed as he continued to yell at her. “You know that’s not how I really feel about you,” she whispered.

“Well then why don’t you just tell me how you really feel?” he shouted getting close to her. “ ‘Cause I don’t fucking know. You tell me that you want to be alone, what the hell am I suppose to make of that!”

She bit her bottom lip in defeat and tried to explain herself. “I needed to be alone because I didn’t know what I was feeling…but now I do.”

Duncan stood there frozen. There was no way in hell this was happening, he had to be dreaming, he just had to be. He had to reach out and grab her hand just to know she was really there with him and truly saying these words.

He was relieved when she started to speak again. “Why didn’t you just tell me how you felt. Why did you have to get so angry with me?”

He knew she was referring to all the drama with Adam and the night at the party. Duncan shook his head and mumbled, “I-I don’t know…maybe I-” he didn’t get very far before he puked up again just barely missing her shoes.

Again Courtney’s face twisted into disgust as Duncan continued to puke his guts out. “Well isn’t this familiar?” she said when he was finally done. “Only last time I think I was in your place.” It was ironic how he had come across her when she had been high and how she had just come across him drunk. They really were an odd pairing.

Duncan chuckled at her sentence before he stumbled into her. There was no way in hell he was going to be able to walk straight.

Courtney grunted under his weight as she took one of his arms and slung it over her shoulder. “C’mon let get you home,” she said supporting his balance.

Duncan looked down at her thoughtfully and asked with honest curiosity. “Why are you doing this?” he had treated her like crap and disregarded her for a week and yet here she was helping him.

Courtney only smiled at him. “You looked after me remember?”

She was returning the favor. Duncan smiled as they suddenly became equals. Maybe Geoff had been right after all. Maybe she did feel the same way, maybe they both had just been too confused, too stubborn, too afraid to say it out loud. It was why they fought they way they did, to mask what they really felt. Maybe they weren’t so different after all.
_____________________________________________________________________
Courtney helped Duncan lie down on his bed and went downstairs to get him some water and a small trash can just in case he threw up again. When he was comfortable Courtney laid next to him just stared at his face. She had been so scared of admitting how she felt that she almost lost him.

Before Duncan she had always stayed away from trouble, she never needed it. She could always feel safe that way, feel in control. She respected authority, did what was expected of her and played by the rules.

With Duncan she didn’t need to be perfect, she could live life and take chances. With him she could truly be happy, and that scared her because it made her realize what she’d been missing all this time. She was so use to being seen and acting a certain way and then he walks in and completely turned her world around.

She heard Duncan mumble a “thank you” before he placed a hand on hers and drifted off. Courtney smiled, kissed him on the forehead and held his hand tightly. “I love you,” she whispered no longer able to deny it. She watched as he stirred slightly and opened his mouth to say the words she never expected to hear.

“I love you too.”

Courtney felt her heart burst wide open and had to bring a hand to her mouth to keep herself from crying with joy. Finally they had said it. Finally everything was as it should be. Finally the world was in it’s right place. They where in their right place.

“Duncan…”

“Hmm?” he hummed sleepily.

“You’d better remember this in the morning!”