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posted by AllegroGiocoso
WARNING: Beware of unfortunate events in this chapter. Rated PG.

    Lady Tremaine and Gaston continued to look for the King of Hearts. With a grunt of annoyance, Gaston told Lady Tremaine, “Forget this puzzle. I’m going to shoot down the maze!” and he got out his gun.
    Lady Tremaine turned around to Gaston excitedly. “That’s it! Oh, and shoot those cards too!” Lady Tremaine suggested with a grin.
    Gaston instantly shot through several hedges, and the two vile villains quickly climbed through and arrived at the end of the maze, where several playing cards were standing in a military-styled manner.
    Standing in front of the playing cards was a maniacal looking, chubby woman that was dressed in red and black, and she displayed herself with a plainly pompous attitude.
    “You did not find that Alice yet!!!!!!” The woman roared angrily to the playing cards.
    “ Uh-no, queen, no, no, no…” one card replied.
    “Here she is,” Gaston declared with an evil grin. “Now, all maidens will marry me- by order of a queen!”
    “There aren’t very many maidens here, Gaston,” Lady Tremaine reminded him.
    With an evil grimace, Gaston told her, “Ah, don’t you worry, we’ll get out of this book soon enough.”
    Gaston immediately walked up to the queen and stated, “Excuse me.”
    “Why, what is it!!!!!!” the Queen of Hearts hollered to Gaston. “You shouldn’t be bothering a royal meeting…OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!!!!!” the Queen of Hearts declared evilly.
    “Wait, wait,” Lady Tremaine told the Queen of Hearts, and then, she bowed down and told her, “Your majesty,” sarcastically.
    The Queen of Hearts froze, dropped Gaston, and then smiled at Lady Tremaine, rushing toward her. “Why, how nice that one actually bows to her majesty. I might have to reconsider beheading,” the Queen of Hearts cooed affectionately before turning to serious business again. “All right then, what do you do want?”
    “Well, what we want is…” Lady Tremaine paused, for she did not want to tell the Queen of Hearts her real objective.
    Gaston rushed forward and asked the Queen of Hearts, “You must have “Hearts” in your name for some reason.”
    “Reason?” Queen of Hearts boomed. “There is no reason in Wonderland, boy. But I am literally the queen of the hearts cards.”
    “Yes, yes, well, you know of marriage, don’t you?” Gaston asked.
    “Why yes,” the Queen of Hearts replied. “Of course I do… I keep on having to do such a thing time after time, after I behead my kings who I fail to see as trustworthy…I am on my third right now…”
    “Well, well, anyway,” Gaston told the Queen of Hearts. “I want to marry this group of puny little young girls, but they keep on resisting me. So what I want is to marry all of them…”
    “Ooh,” the Queen of Hearts, stated, clenching her hands and smiling broadly. “I like it…marrying all those maidens…why, I should marry some more kings so I can behead five of them at once…but I suppose I don’t need to marry in order to behead…”
    “I need to marry all these girls, they are the prettiest maidens in town, and I am the prettiest man in town, so…”
    “And what are you here for?” the Queen of Hearts asked Lady Tremaine.
    “I’m Gaston’s mother,” Lady Tremaine lied on the spot. “Little Gasty-boy needs to find his wifey-wifeys, doesn’t he?”
    “Well, in order to see if little Gasty-boy gets help marrying, we need to play a game of croquet to settle things…” the Queen of Hearts told Lady Tremaine and Gaston pleasantly. “If you win, I’ll help you out…if you lose…OFF WITH YOUR HEADS!!!!!”
    “Yes, yes,” Gaston and Lady Tremaine told the Queen of Hearts.
    “Then… LET THE GAME BEGIN!” the Queen of Hearts roared.
    The Queen of Hearts got out a flamingo as a bat, and a hedgehog as a ball.
    “If I shoot those animals, I will be able to have more admiration…” Gaston began to say, but Lady Tremaine cut him off. “The queen,” she stated to him.
    The Queen of Hearts then hit her hedgehog with her flamingo, and with a nearly perfect hit, her hedgehog zoomed through the playing cards, who came out to help with the game by serving as hoops.
    “Splendid!” the Queen of Hearts declared to herself. “Now, you two…you play.”
    “Let me hit,” Gaston told Lady Tremaine, and he got out a hedgehog and matching flamingo.
    Gaston aimed carefully, and then the hedgehog zoomed through the playing cards before they could move on the Queen’s order. And unfortunately for the Queen of Hearts, Gaston had a perfect hit- on one strike.
    “Ha-ha!” Gaston bellowed loudly, as Lady Tremaine grinned evilly at the Queen of Hearts. “Now you have to marry me to all of those girls!”
    The Queen of Hearts groaned angrily to herself, and then she pouted, “Well, to tell you the truth, I can’t make you fall in love with those girls, nor do I have any desire to come into contact with the logical world.”
    “You surely did not leave any loopholes in your speech,” Lady Tremaine told the Queen of Hearts angrily. “I am just going to start taking over Wonderland right now. Gaston, give me your gun!”
    Gaston refused, saying, “No way! She deceived me, and I scored the perfect hit. So I, the perfect Gaston, am going to take care of her myself. Say goodbye, fake love queen!”
    But as Gaston shot and hit the Queen of Hearts, the bullet went straight through her.
"What is going on?" Gaston roared angrily. "I hit her!"
"Ooh, you naughty boy, the Queen of Hearts exists only within Wonderland... and she can't be harmed, she doesn't get harmed with your world's inventions!" The Queen of Hearts snapped her fingers, and the playing cards surrounded Gaston and Lady Tremaine, and then they carried Gaston and Lady Tremaine to the Queen of Hearts. The Queen of Hearts was silent for a moment, and soon, a deliciously evil smile began to appear on her face.
    “Well, well, well, the time has come for the moment I’ve been waiting for,” the Queen of Hearts told Gaston and Lady Tremaine wickedly.
    “What is it?” Gaston asked as a playing card took Gaston’s gun.
    The Queen of Hearts leaped up into the air, and screamed with all her force, “OFF WITH THEIR HEAAAADDDDDDSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
    Instantly, the playing cards took Gaston and Lady Tremaine to the Queen’s castle, and the two of them never came out again.
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