People keep telling me the only reason why I was bullied is because I was who I was. Is that right?
EX:
A freckled face girl with glasses "A" is bullied by a girl "B" with "perfect" features.
I don't think it's the A's fault she has freckles and glasses. But I don't think it's B's fault she is bullying the girl in the first place. Maybe it was peer pressure? Maybe the parents said something that made B feel upset and her anger was released on A...

I don't think I will ever understand the logic behind victim blaming.

There can be a lot of factors into why one bullies. They could have had a rough home-life, or be insecure or threatened, or not fully realize what they're doing is wrong. But,in the end, it's the bully who made the choice to bully. No body stood behind them and went "Oh, you better pick on that smaller kid over there or I'm gonna [insert threat]."

I believe that the parents have the most influence on their child, or at least they should have. The parents are the people who raise the child, or in my case, the bully. I'd say, if a parent's child is bullying someone at school, or anywhere else, he/she should be thought some manners by their parents.

In the end, I think it's never the bully's fault if he/she starts bullying. In some cases, the bully is raised by such norms and values that he/she thinks it's okay to belittle someone like that. In some cases, the bully never had any parents at all to learn them that you shouldn't bully others. Nobody is born as a bully, therefore he/she becomes one because of a certain someone or a certain event in their life. And I honestly believe that most of the time, it's their parent's fault.

It's hard to say. I think either the bully or the bully's parents.

I agree with Myron. Either the bully or the parents of the bully.

Bully if they're doing it 'just because' or 'it's fun'. Parents of the bully if they're releasing stress or doing what's 'normal' to do...

I've been bullied all my life and can still say that it is a choice with an objective view.
I've had problems at home but I don't take it out on people. You can be who you want

In my opinion,I think it's either the Bully them self if they do it for fun and just to see someone hurt,but if it's something home-related or even-past related,also adults do have a big influence on their children..so in that case I guess that would the parents,however it's that persons choice to cope with it the way they do,they could talk to someone about it instead of taking it out on someone else,well also it's also the "new kid's" choice to come up with what they want to do,like telling an adult or something like that..but I think it depends on the reason why the person is doing it.

There was a time, long, longl, long ago, in the stone age or whatever when people bullied others for the sole purpose of getting what they want.

Now, i walk onto the street and see people getting bullied for having freckles...

the eyewitnesses are blamed ....... studies show that bullying is mostly stoped when bystanders take action

Urgh, the blaming the bully's parents option irks me.

Firstly, the bully might not live with their parents (same with the victim), damn, might not even KNOW their parents.

Secondly, while i agree our upbringing effects who we are immensly, only YOU have control over your own actions. Having a hard home life or a bad example from your elders is not an excuse for bullying.

"No body stood behind them and went "Oh, you better pick on that smaller kid over there or I'm gonna [insert threat]."

The thing is, that can and does happen with a lot of 'bullies'. A lot of it does have to do with peer pressure.

But I do agree, in the end it is the bully's responsibility to be accounted for his/her actions, and how he/she treats other people.

However, I do believe other factors such as the ones listed in the fanpick can be significantly influential in the development of a bully or even worse, and how a bully portrays his behavior.

True pandawinx; One's homelife isn't an excuse for bullying. But it's often a legit reason for it.

In the end, it's the bully's choice to bully the victim. Sometimes, no matter how good the parents turn out to be, there's a chance the bully would turn out different.

"True pandawinx; One's homelife isn't an excuse for bullying. But it's often a legit reason for it."

But heres the thing; i've seen bullies with kind, honest, sometimes rich parents who set a great example yet they still bully.

And there's children from rough homes with parents who don't give a crap what they do, but the kid still grows up a kind person because he/she wanted to break the cycle.

@pandawinx: Like I said, a parent should teach the kid what is right and wrong. If the bully had no parents in the first place, who would teach the bully how to behave? I know that sometimes the parents couldn't even do anything about it, but then it just feels unfair to me to blame the bully. Nobody is a jackass for no reason. Something MUST'VE happened for the bully to choose to start bullying.

And I simply blame the parents for doing something, or nothing.

I think it depends on the case. You can't judge this on a society large scale, something like this is an individual issue. Each case has it's own story. In one case you could have the kid stealing lunch money for a laugh (in which it is the bully's fault) in another the kid is stealing the money because he is from a poor family and hasn't had a decent meal in days in which case no one but poverty is to blame. In some cases the parent doesn't even know in others he/she is doing everything he/she can but once the kid is on the bus he/she really has no more control.

I think it is the parents' responsibility to care for their child. If the child turns into a bully, there is a very likely chance that bully feels unloved and bullies, because they are insecure with themselves. Obviously, though, what Zanhar said is very true. It can depend on the case, too. I think, all-in-all, though, the bully generally should not take the entire blame for it and victim should never take the blame for it. Society is a part of the problem and bystanders can also be a part of the problem, too.

I too don't think the bully should take full blame, most of the time they aren't just doing it to have fun they are doing it because they are hurt too, which is why the worst way to deal with bulling is to bully back.

Yeah, exactly! From what I know, most bullies are actually from families with plenty of issues and that causes the child to become insecure. That's why I think parents should take responsibility.

Exactly. Even so in some cases it's not even the parent's fault it's just the crappy economy and what not. Which is why I say it's no one's fault unless we talk individual cases, then there may (or may not) be someone at complete fault.

Yeah, individual cases seem like the only way to really study this as an issue.