I'd like to test-drive the car before I buy it, if you know what I mean ;D lol

Hehe, yeahisawsparks. I don't plan on it, but it could turn out that way. I don't really know.

I think it is a silly concept.

Before anyone jumps all over me, NO, I do not think children should be having sex... that is not what I said. This whole virginity thing is religion-based, which means it was written by the creators of the bible for personal agenda reasons. The concept is to keep women under control.

Hm, Doctor D, I actually have to disagree with you on this. Virginity is not technically strictly a religious concept. Some think of it as something intensely special to give to the ones they love. They don't want to waste it because you only technically lose your virginity once. Some people want that to be special, and thus decide to wait until they're married or in love before having sex.

I know men who want to save themselves too.

I'm not saying I do. But I can understand folks who do.

I think you know what I meant ;) Of course the physical state of being a virgin is not a religious construct, there are health reasons for the hymen being there... but the idea of women staying intact is based in religion.

People remaining virgins until marriage hurts noone, so I am not against it at all. I just find it amusing... slightly romantic, but amusing.

i am so saving it till i get married. It's a decision i made a long time ago and i am sticking to it! :D proud of it too. ( yes my decision is based in my faith, but i also first made that choice before I was religious)

Like I said, it doesn't harm one single person to do so. You should never pay any attention to people like me who grin at it. Always do what feels right for you ;)

I am one who didn't because I thought I was with someone I would spend the rest of my life with and that didn't end up happening. I am very sad that I didn't wait and I regret it everyday. That is a special bond that I will never be able to share with my husband.

i'm saving till i get married...i kinda made that decision cause of my faith...an like hekissedmyhand i'm proud of my choice too...although i never really thought bout it till a couple of years ago...and my choice could change i supose...at the moment i'm waiting.

Not only because of my faith and religion (Islam) but because I think it's just wrong. I would wait to Do It with the man I want to be with for the rest of my life. I mean, my would I do it with my boyfriend??

Another reason why I'm glad I didn't wait until my wedding night to lose my virginity is because it hurt SO BAD the first few times so it wasn't much fun at all!

I'm a little unsure. Now I think I will save myself... but yeah, I'm unsure. Wow, this is a great comment. It cleared a lot of things up, lol.

I'm saving myself for wild, awkward, passionate honeymoon sex, thank you very much. ;]

EverybodyLies, isn't that the name of a facebook group? lol.

I wish I would have waited. The heartache that comes from giving yourself to someone before marriage..............yeah, I wish i would have waited!
As for the virginity thing being religious-based........LOL!! The Creator of the Bible was God and He inspired His Earthly-based disciples to write down what He wanted the world to know. There is so much more involved with virginity than what you think.
But I do not feel like getting into a sermon tonight.

I would have, but unfortunatly...

Another good reason to wait is STDs. The more people you have sex with the more likely you are to get one and spread it. That is a pratical explaination for why God might not want us having sex before we are married. In addition to the fact that it is a special bond that you are supposed to share with the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with.

@Dodgeball_beast:
Why yes. Yes it is. That's where I got it from. xD

unless you are willing to commit to a person forever you are not willing to give up your body to them!

i saved it for someone special (but were not married)....i think thats what counts....

I'm not especially religious, but Purity is important ;) Its a hard concept to explain to another person. So i'll leave it at that

I'm still a virgin, but I'm not saving myself for marriage. I'm not sure whether I ever want to get married. I'll just wait and see I guess.

I am however 'saving' myself for a person I truly care about. One night stands are not just something that fits with my personality. Great if people enjoy them, sure! (just make sure you have protected sex)
I don't know why, but I think saving yourself for marriage is a bit silly. You're free to do it ofcourse, and respect to you if you manage to save yourself for so long, but still.
I always wonder why people do such a thing.

Ofcourse losing your virginity is something special (at least, I hope it's going to be something special) but I don't think something like that is going to add anything to the bond with my future husband/wife. That bond will be special enough in itself.

Yes, because when you have sex, their is a possibility that you might get pregnant. I think that you should only have sex once you are ready to take on the responcibility of taking care of a child. Before marraige, there is no guarenty you are going to stay together with you sponse and if you get pregnant, not only will you be making your life hard, but you will be bringing a child into an unloving home.

I think that you should think about whether you can take on the responsability of a child, before you ruin you and your child's life. Remember the concequences not only affect yourself. And your spouse will probably trust you more and have a stronger relationship with you if he knows you were a virgin :)

I think it's good to 'save yourself' for one you truly love. Whether that's in marriage or simply love, it shouldn't matter. You should, however, only be having sex when you feel you are mature enough to deal with what comes with sex (possibly pregnancy, STDs, emotional trauma, etc.)

I do, however, frown on religion dictating who and when one can have sex. But I'll stop there before I say something unpleasant.

wow, i'm really surprised that the "yes"s are winning this one. i honestly think that placing too much importance on sex (i.e. saving it for marriage) puts too much stress on a relationship, and on the act itself. sex doesn't make or break a relationship (at least not often) and it doesn't define who you are. however, test driving the car before you buy it (as yeahisawsparks put it) is important. i would hate to be stuck in a marriage with no sexual compatibility... and frankly, awkward sex is not something to aspire to. being comfortable with your body and with your partner are SO important in creating a healthy sex life.. and that's not likely to happen when you have no experience.
yet one more reason i have issues with religion - suppressing natural sexual tendencies in the name of a higher power. sigh, wake up people and at the very least start masturbating, it's good for you.

i'd like to add that i am in no means advocating sexual promiscuity.

why would you want your wedding day to end in awkward painful sex? for your own sake practice practice practice!

I agree with bliss.

Marriage is far too unstable nowadays, especially in the UK, to place any particular importance on the wedding night. Personally, I think the wedding night would be far more fun if the both of you had experience and knew how to please each other. And I think losing your virginity is a teenage rite of passage, with first loves, gossip, heartache and all that.

I think it would be quite silly to save yourself for your wedding night, for numerous reasons, one of them being there's a chance of 1 in 3 you will be getting divorced. Or was it 1 in 2 these days?

all good points! i particular like nuimdave's "practice practice practice!" hahaha. but honestly, in this day and age there is really no reason to starve yourself sexually as long as you're being safe and healthy about it. sex is everything and nothing it's cracked up to be.. if that makes sense at all. it's late and my brain is crammed full of exam studying :S

People it's just sex.. It's the biological reason of our existance. You're designed to want to do it.
Why resist nature?
;)

We seriously JUST had a discussion on this in school. And after that, I decided I'd save myself. Here's why:
I want to give ALL of myself to my future husband.
I don't want to risk contracting an STD.
I want to be emotionally ready, so if I have to wait til I'm marries, so be it!

Also (and this is just MY own opinion), oral sex and anal sex still take your virginity. A virgin is one who is "clean" and if you're performing... well, head and butt sex, then that's pretty dirty stuff. And every time you do something like this, you're giving away a piece of yourself, so once the person you are really going to spend the rest of your life comes along, you can't give him all you have. I think that would be sad.

I am saving myself and my decision is not based in religion, i want to lose my virginity with a man that I love and that i know that he will be there for me forever

i always think it's best to make informed decisions, and frankly, in this case, the only people making informed decisions are the ones having sex. funny, isn't it?

you should definitely wait to have sex until you're emotionally ready, and if it takes until you get married, then so be it. but most people are ready waaayyy before that, and wind up waiting for other reasons. i know too many people who got married too early, and being insanely horny unfortunately played a big part in it. also, it's impossible to be fully emotionally mature without experiencing something as monumental as sex. it's virtually impossible to build a relationship that will last forever without being emotionally mature. thus, marriages between two virgins = not a good idea. consider the divorce rate people!

here are some tips for not contracting STDs:
a) use condoms
b) don't sleep around
c) make sure the people you sleep with have been tested
d) get regular tests yourself
.. pretty straight forward really.

you can't "give away a piece of yourself" unless you choose to, no matter what activity you happen to be taking part in. to be perfectly blunt, if that's how you feel when you have sex, you probably shouldn't be doing it. besides, i'd rather give my future husband an awesome sex life with a woman who's comfortable with her body and her sexuality than my hymen. here's a little reinactment for fun...
Wedding Night, Take 1:
"shnookums, i have a wedding present for you"
"aw dumpling, that's just swell, what is it?"
"i'm going to lay here awkwardly while you try to figure out what you're supposed to do with your dangly bits, and then i'm going to try not to squirm although it'll probably really hurt, and then very very quickly it will be over and we'll lie here wishing we'd done things differently, but we'll justify it by thinking to ourselves that at least we gave each other our 'whole' selves, and isn't that a nice sentiment? then we'll spend the next few years trying to figure out how to liven things up, but probably won't get over the initial awkwardness for quite some time, if ever. oh and did i mention i won't know if you've got a small/possibly deformed peeper until after i've commited to love and cherish it for all eternity??"
"oh, i see. and here i was hoping for a bj."

OR

Wedding Night, Take 2:
"baby, i know there are still guests downstairs, but i've just got to have you now!"
"oh lord, i thought we'd never get away!"
*censored*
*censored*
*censored*

..and they may or may not live happily ever after.

ok, so apparently i'm losing my marbles. i apologize for this insane reply lol, i've done nothing but study for exams for the last two weeks straight and i'm operating on so little sleep it's retarded. i'm probably going to come back and look at this tomorrow and be insanely embarrased, but for now i'm drunk on sleep-depravation, so je m'excuse.

I always trust the Bible, and most people saved themselves for marriage (until these last few hundred years), but BlissLikeThis's little speech made me almost doubt what the Bible said.

Still, I'm sticking to my motto: What Would Jesus Do?

Well, I'd never sleep someone I wasn't in love with and I'm very much in love with my boyfriend. We've only slept with each other. IF, and I hope we never will, we brake up I'd still not sleep with anyone until I fell in love again.

The plan for me was to wait but i'm human and we make mistakes...just because i messed up once doesn't mean i can't start over and wait for when i get married.

Religion-based? "This whole virginity thing is religion-based"? I, for one, am a 20-year-old atheist and a 20-year-old virgin, and I plan to remain an atheist until I die and a virgin until I've found the right one.

blisslikethis: true dat. I can tell you for a fact that when i loose my virginity, it will be super awkward because everything always takes me a while to learn. I plan on having sex on every possible surface on my honeymoon and don't want to have to deal with awkwardness.

Yes, i will be risking getting pregnant or contracting an STD, but it's not like I'll be having sex willy nilly. I will only have sex when I am ready, but that will be before i get married (if ever).

knifewrench: What Would Jesus Do? I imagine if Jesus was put into the 21st century he wouldn't wait until marriage. You can die at any second and sex is supposedly amazing and fun so, I wanna do it. I think Jesus would too.

I am waiting for someone special, but my standards aren't so high that it has to be marriage special, if you know what I mean.

the way this question is worded makes no sense to me but yes i'm saving myself for marriage.

In other words, sarabeara, the question asks: If you are not married, are you saving yourself for your spouse? If you are married, DID you save yourself for your spouse?

Whoops

If not marriage, I am at least waiting until I'm very much in love. I realize that all the "no" people are not encouraging promiscuity, but I feel that sex, especially for the first time, creates such a special bond that I'm not going to take this as lightly as "test driving" a car.

Lol @ EverybodyLies and Dodgeball_Beast! I'm in that group on Facebook, haha

im not sure if im saving it till i marry or imma not gonna use it at all

You know what's interesting? I've heard many, many people (I've lost count) tell me "I am SO glad I waited for the wedding night. One of the best decisions I ever made."

But not once have I ever heard anyone say "I'm so glad I didn't wait."

Future husband, I don't know your name. I don't know where you are or what you're doing. I don't even know if you exist or not. But regardless, I'm waiting for you. I choose to live with no regrets. I choose to be proud of my purity, to save it for you and you alone...because I know you're worth it. I know you'll do the same for me.

I should have.

I'll wait for the right person to come along. Whether I will also marry that guy is a later question.

I wasn't really planning on waiting till marriage. But in my neighborhood, with all of the boys I'm around in school and outdoors.....I think I have to. :(

its ewhat i was taught and what im going to do

Not because of religion...it's just something I want to do. Or not do. You know what I mean. I'm saving because I want to, not because God or my priest told me to.

I want to tell my future wife that I am a man of integraty and honor and what better way to show that than this.

To my future spouce, I will wait for you.

Not necessarily for a spouse, no (don't know if I'll ever marry), but for someone special, yes.

i think taht everybody should live! and try everything! sowhe you get married you dont regret for not having experience or wondering how it would be....

I want to but Lesbians probably wont be able to get get married when I'm old enough :/

I'm waiting until I'm truly ready and with the right person.

Yes but even then I may or may not be ready to have sex, I am just one of those strange types of people. But I don't want to get married to have sex and sex may not even be on my list of things to do when I get married

I lost my virginity in high school. I don't regret losing it before marriage but I do wish that I lost it at an older age and to someone I loved, let alone knew.

No, I didn't. I don't and haven't had a spouse yet, anyway.

Not out of some moral compunction, though yes I did save myself for marriage.

@Flame. I'm just curious, but was there anything in particular that influenced that decision...?

I am. I can't afford any risk at all of becoming pregnant or having to live with an STD for the rest of my life. Those are two very real and not too uncommon risks.

Nope. The person I lost my virginity to isn't someone I'm with anymore. And my current sexual partner isn't someone I plan on marrying.

Heh, simple answer is that I'd simply never been in a long term relationship before I met my wife, which ended up being good because she is a stickler for that sort of thing. We didn't even have sex until we were married, so I guess you could say my influence was nerdiness, which generally left me without said relationship, a set of morals that wouldn't allow me one night stands, and a bit of prescience on my part.

@Flame. Heh, fair enough, dude. Seems a perfectly reasonable decision to me.

Not particularly. I haven't really decided and my decision would be based on a lot of different things. As of right now, I just don't do sex things and that's all there is to it.

@Cassie. I think you just successfully dodged the question...

I did, because I don't have an answer.

Fair enough. I just thought I'd point it out, as I'm a pedantic ass, that loves to point everything out, sometimes even the obvious.

Unless something happens to me before marriage, I want it to be the right person.

Honestly, I'm debating whether I'm asexual or not~ Sex doesn't particularly interest me. I would like to be in a romantic relationship but I don't care for a sexual one. Especially since I'm only 15. I have too many plans for the future to risk effecting with pregnancy or an STD. If it happens one day it definitely wont be anytime soon. But when it does happen I do want to be sure it is with someone I love.

^ Same here. I'm about 95% sure I'm asexual. I wouldn't mind a romantic relationship but sex just doesn't appeal to me. I'm 19 and I still haven't changed my mind so.