things that i have come to realize...?

i have been learning alot about myself lately. i have been examining my actions,and my ways of behaviour, and i have come to the conclusion that i have quite often been a very selfcentred, immature and very judgemental at times. sometimes i would often let my anger, and my cynical perspective of my enemies cloud my judgement. there are (i noticed,) quite a few times, when i have been heartless, malicious, and downright cruel towards them. i have mocked them when they where down, i have spitefully insulted them when they have had their victories, and i have threatened to leave the show on several occassions, because i didnt like the thought of the writers splitting up delena and putting stelena back together, and i have often been very judgemental towards the writers without even giving them a chance to show us that they have deelnas best interests at heart and im finally begining to realise now, that that sort of attitude and actions is not going to, and never will get me anywhere. ive come to realise now that all this rediculous behaviour is just making me look silly and foolish, i feel now that i have to respect others thoughts and opinions of me, no matter how insulting and frustrating it is, because what sort of example am i setting too new members if im acting like a total bitch?? ive been judgeing my rivals, and my enemies without even begining to look at my own actions, so what sort of a person does that make me?? it makes me a hypocrite, and it makes me no better than them. and you know what? i realise that i dont want to be that person. i want to patient, goodwilled, and tolarable towards my enemies. i want to take their insults, and critisim with a grain of salt. so from now on, whenever i have any encounters with the SErs and the DBrs, im just going to listen to what they have to say. and respect their opinions no matter how much they may upset me. and as for negative scenes and episodes, well i have come to except that the VD is what it is, a show full of