It was a Wednesday in May.
All of us had assembled today once again to study for the math testpaper on the next day. Our math teacher had funnily enough had nothing against
it to come to school on her free day off toward twelve o'clock. All of us just sat at our places and listened to Mrs Dörte as she explained the substance to the written test. Only I could not. I sat in the last row at my usual seat and looked from the window on the falling raindrops which pounded against the window. I thought back to at that time. It had been a year now. Until now the minute exact. It had been on May 26th at 12.35 am. I know no longer exactly. Perhaps at that time had been studies day? Or were these abitur examinations? No idea. I still remeber how I came to the third floor in the school building where my class had art lesson this day. Mrs Fernau recognized me when she saw me being in the door in front of. The rest of the class remembered suddenly again, too. They called my name and sway me to himselfes. I welcomed the one or others. > > Is it true that you come onto class journey with us?< <, Meryem asked.
> > With whom on a room, then? It everything already is anyway several of my earlier classmates partitionedly notified < < of himself, I said, at once there, however. I could not differently but to smile. I finally went and stood to Mrs Fernau at the table. It was the usual: How are you? What does the school do? Otherwise what is there still to tell? I stood there and told stories and looked in the direction of the pupil from time to time. I then noticed that HE stood next to me.
> > Hello < <, he said quietly and smiled. I returned his greeting and smiled back.
I sat on the bench on the sports field later. He sat next to me. He was not allowed to do sports anymore not since the accident. I sat quietly at my place and watched the activities of the others in the echelon training. I then noticed that he seemed to have ended the conversation with the little boy which had sat besides him from the other side. Now both of us sat there and said nothing. >>How are you?<< I asked, because I simply could not sit there longer quietly while the time was flowing on.
> > quite good. May do only no more sports. since the accident. < <
> > yes , I already heard. < <
There was a short break bevore I continued speak.
> > and you drive on class journey?< <, I asked.
> > yes. I have heard, you come along?< <
He turned round to me and his shiny, brown eyes looked at me. It was his way to look at me which I have loved and love certainly today about everything in the world. I saw to the ground briefly.
I said then > > no, unfortunately not < < and did not try to sound as disappointed as I was actually. Five days could have been. Five days and everyone also with him, however, the destiny had to have suffered well in front of me. All what had happened suffers under. We still sat there a while so. I told him about our ski- trip. I asked for his family and he told me that his sister Shirin had gone through an operation. The lesson was over than and everyone went to the cover. I still found it rather strange, that boys and girls already changed their clothes in the same room in the seventh grade. I waited till he was ready and comrades agree on the way finished, I hoped their ways would divide soon and I still could walk for the last piece together with him, it, however, was not that way. I went in the direction of the suburban train. I did not noticed where my feets did carrying me. I ran along the street and tried to hold the tears back till I was at home. When I turned around the corner at the end of the street, I saw him as he went together with Gunnar on the other side of the street. It was the last time that I have seen him.
The last time for, in my opinion, many years. I thought to see that he looked into my direction but perhaps all this was only imagination. Sometime after a time of the searching I finally stood on the platform and waited for the train. I looked on the tracks where a dead pigeon lay on. Actually I would have had to be nauseated now but was everything in me deaf with mourning. How mechanically I climbed into the train and waited until I arrived in my station. I just as mechanically ran home and did not notice what happened around me. I finally was there. I tried again to lock my room door with the key although I knew that this was possible only from the outside. As expected, this did not work. I dropped myself on my bed and waited for the tears but was nothing there. They did not come. All my feelings, they are good or badly stayed where they were, like it had been always like. They piled up in me and did not find any way to reach the surface.
All of us had assembled today once again to study for the math testpaper on the next day. Our math teacher had funnily enough had nothing against
it to come to school on her free day off toward twelve o'clock. All of us just sat at our places and listened to Mrs Dörte as she explained the substance to the written test. Only I could not. I sat in the last row at my usual seat and looked from the window on the falling raindrops which pounded against the window. I thought back to at that time. It had been a year now. Until now the minute exact. It had been on May 26th at 12.35 am. I know no longer exactly. Perhaps at that time had been studies day? Or were these abitur examinations? No idea. I still remeber how I came to the third floor in the school building where my class had art lesson this day. Mrs Fernau recognized me when she saw me being in the door in front of. The rest of the class remembered suddenly again, too. They called my name and sway me to himselfes. I welcomed the one or others. > > Is it true that you come onto class journey with us?< <, Meryem asked.
> > With whom on a room, then? It everything already is anyway several of my earlier classmates partitionedly notified < < of himself, I said, at once there, however. I could not differently but to smile. I finally went and stood to Mrs Fernau at the table. It was the usual: How are you? What does the school do? Otherwise what is there still to tell? I stood there and told stories and looked in the direction of the pupil from time to time. I then noticed that HE stood next to me.
> > Hello < <, he said quietly and smiled. I returned his greeting and smiled back.
I sat on the bench on the sports field later. He sat next to me. He was not allowed to do sports anymore not since the accident. I sat quietly at my place and watched the activities of the others in the echelon training. I then noticed that he seemed to have ended the conversation with the little boy which had sat besides him from the other side. Now both of us sat there and said nothing. >>How are you?<< I asked, because I simply could not sit there longer quietly while the time was flowing on.
> > quite good. May do only no more sports. since the accident. < <
> > yes , I already heard. < <
There was a short break bevore I continued speak.
> > and you drive on class journey?< <, I asked.
> > yes. I have heard, you come along?< <
He turned round to me and his shiny, brown eyes looked at me. It was his way to look at me which I have loved and love certainly today about everything in the world. I saw to the ground briefly.
I said then > > no, unfortunately not < < and did not try to sound as disappointed as I was actually. Five days could have been. Five days and everyone also with him, however, the destiny had to have suffered well in front of me. All what had happened suffers under. We still sat there a while so. I told him about our ski- trip. I asked for his family and he told me that his sister Shirin had gone through an operation. The lesson was over than and everyone went to the cover. I still found it rather strange, that boys and girls already changed their clothes in the same room in the seventh grade. I waited till he was ready and comrades agree on the way finished, I hoped their ways would divide soon and I still could walk for the last piece together with him, it, however, was not that way. I went in the direction of the suburban train. I did not noticed where my feets did carrying me. I ran along the street and tried to hold the tears back till I was at home. When I turned around the corner at the end of the street, I saw him as he went together with Gunnar on the other side of the street. It was the last time that I have seen him.
The last time for, in my opinion, many years. I thought to see that he looked into my direction but perhaps all this was only imagination. Sometime after a time of the searching I finally stood on the platform and waited for the train. I looked on the tracks where a dead pigeon lay on. Actually I would have had to be nauseated now but was everything in me deaf with mourning. How mechanically I climbed into the train and waited until I arrived in my station. I just as mechanically ran home and did not notice what happened around me. I finally was there. I tried again to lock my room door with the key although I knew that this was possible only from the outside. As expected, this did not work. I dropped myself on my bed and waited for the tears but was nothing there. They did not come. All my feelings, they are good or badly stayed where they were, like it had been always like. They piled up in me and did not find any way to reach the surface.
