He kissed you slowly, and the feeling of love drowned your senses. A hug. A kiss. And you went further on.
You walk home, feeling amazing, beautiful, wonderful and every other feeling of happiness and love. The sky seems full of joy and the blue is blinding. The clouds have mixed shapes and sizes, each much more different than the other.
You enter your room and sit at the warmest corner in your room and smile at the thoughts of that special someone. Then your eyes blacken out.
Death. Hate. Depression. Bitterness. Sorrow. Murder.
You shake your head at the thoughts and push try to push them out. A feeling of emptiness fills your inner soul. You grab the knife under your bed from when you were eating watermelon and stick it in your back pocket.
A strong urge fills you. You can’t control it. You walk out your door and towards the person you love.
He is texting his friend about how much he loves you. You lift the knife into the air and try to hold back. You fingers cringe, trying to press the knife against his neck.
You feel the guilt slipping through your ears and cool off your neck. You let out a quiet sigh and smile. You are glad that you didn’t kill. You slowly lose grip of the knife and it slips out of your fingers, landing on his shoulder and gracefully gliding down his arm. A long scar scrapes his arm and the knife is stuck at the very end.
He falls down to the floor and looks around wildly to find the person in charge. His eyes fill with tears and disappoint when he sees that you are the cause of this. A twisted frown of hatred fills his expression.
You begin to cry and find a way to apologize for the harm just caused.
“I’m sorry.” You whisper and cry a lot more.
He gives a glare.
“How could you?” He slowly stutters.
“I didn’t mean to. I don’t know.” You whisper.
His eyes begin to blink quickly, showing he would be gone any second.
You run to his side and kiss his lifeless lips.
“I’m sorry. I love you.” You say slyly and step away from the body.
You walk home, feeling amazing, beautiful, wonderful and every other feeling of happiness and love. The sky seems full of joy and the blue is blinding. The clouds have mixed shapes and sizes, each much more different than the other.
You enter your room and sit at the warmest corner in your room and smile at the thoughts of that special someone. Then your eyes blacken out.
Death. Hate. Depression. Bitterness. Sorrow. Murder.
You shake your head at the thoughts and push try to push them out. A feeling of emptiness fills your inner soul. You grab the knife under your bed from when you were eating watermelon and stick it in your back pocket.
A strong urge fills you. You can’t control it. You walk out your door and towards the person you love.
He is texting his friend about how much he loves you. You lift the knife into the air and try to hold back. You fingers cringe, trying to press the knife against his neck.
You feel the guilt slipping through your ears and cool off your neck. You let out a quiet sigh and smile. You are glad that you didn’t kill. You slowly lose grip of the knife and it slips out of your fingers, landing on his shoulder and gracefully gliding down his arm. A long scar scrapes his arm and the knife is stuck at the very end.
He falls down to the floor and looks around wildly to find the person in charge. His eyes fill with tears and disappoint when he sees that you are the cause of this. A twisted frown of hatred fills his expression.
You begin to cry and find a way to apologize for the harm just caused.
“I’m sorry.” You whisper and cry a lot more.
He gives a glare.
“How could you?” He slowly stutters.
“I didn’t mean to. I don’t know.” You whisper.
His eyes begin to blink quickly, showing he would be gone any second.
You run to his side and kiss his lifeless lips.
“I’m sorry. I love you.” You say slyly and step away from the body.
I thought it would be a good idea to try and write goodbye
but i was stuck when I realized there were too many lovely things to write about.
and not enough words invented yet to say them aloud.
and i know there are a number of things wrong with this,
but i really don't want to fix it right now.
i don't feel like doing anything but sitting upside down
but trust me, when it comes down
to having the choice of being right..
or protecting you, I'll be wrong every single time.
Because it's just who I am...
but i was stuck when I realized there were too many lovely things to write about.
and not enough words invented yet to say them aloud.
and i know there are a number of things wrong with this,
but i really don't want to fix it right now.
i don't feel like doing anything but sitting upside down
but trust me, when it comes down
to having the choice of being right..
or protecting you, I'll be wrong every single time.
Because it's just who I am...
OK so i was walking down the street...all alone...in the rain...not happy but not sad ether...when suddenly I ran into a Magnolia tree!I don't know how I didn't see it...or why it was in the middle of the road-but it was there and when I looked at it I saw it was the biggest Magnolia I had ever seen;it was absolutely GINORMOUS!it to be at least as tall as a skyscraper. I couldn't even see the top.Now what is the easiest way to get past a tree? Go around it of course! but when i looked there was a wall!Two walls!on ether side of the tree that prevented me from passing(again,how didn't I see this before?)It was not an ordinary
wall ether,and must have taken allot of work to build because it was as tall,or taller than the tree!so I was stuck with a magnolia and two walls
what was I to do?turn back?I had come too far!so knowing this,what do you think I did?What would you have done?
wall ether,and must have taken allot of work to build because it was as tall,or taller than the tree!so I was stuck with a magnolia and two walls
what was I to do?turn back?I had come too far!so knowing this,what do you think I did?What would you have done?
I look at the old photographs. It kills me to see him smile. I've only heard about him. I hear he would have loved me. I hear he was nice. I hear that he was a good dad. I hear he was an okay husband. I hear that he would have made a good grandfather. It's not fair. It kills me when my dad talks about him. My dad said one of his last words to him were "Dont miss me when I'm gone." Those words run through my head. Day and night and keep me up thinking of him. Why did he have to go? I pray he's okay and fine in heaven. I pretend he's still here. If only he were ... I miss him....
I guess he's just....
Hard to Let Go
Dedicated to my grandfather I miss you ... even if I never met you =,[
Next journal entry coming up in few please
R&R
Thanks!!
I guess he's just....
Hard to Let Go
Dedicated to my grandfather I miss you ... even if I never met you =,[
Next journal entry coming up in few please
R&R
Thanks!!
