A week later, Blair had gotten us all settled in. I had the one spare bedroom, Kirsten and Sage slept on air mattresses in the other spare bedroom, Paige had a bedroom in the basement, and Mom slept on the pullout couch. Blair and her husband were so nice for taking us in, I'd never be able to thank them enough.
Mom still hadn't found a job. This pleased me, despite our previous conversation. I liked it when she was around. She was fun to talk to, and she understood me sometimes. Even if she didn't, she listened to me.
She seemed nicer too, and more caring.
Back at home, when she was actually home, she'd pay little attention to us, and didn't care at all. The only thing on her mind was Matt, Matt, Matt. Or whoever she was dating at the time. It made me feel terrible then, like she didn't even want us. We were all just mistakes. We weren't meant to be alive.
One day, I just had to ask.
"Mom?" I asked. James was at work, Jori was at school, and Blair was out. Kirsten and Sage were outside playing, and Paige was asleep. Mom was trying to put Auburn down for a nap.
"Yeah?" I took a deep breath.
"Who's my dad?" She paused.
"Why," she asked, her face blushing a little bit.
"Because. I'd like to know."
"Umm... Your dad was a guy I dated... named Colter." I stared at her intently, waiting for her to go on. "More?"
"Please," I said quietly. She exhaled deeply, looking around.
"Well... He was a nice man. Very sweet... I liked him a lot...." She sighed, and looked at me. "I don't know, what else do you want to know?" I bit my lip, wondering if this question was off limits. It probably was, but still. I wanted to know.
"What happened when you told him? ...About me?" I asked. Her expression was blank for a while. Then she took a deep breath.
"We... We were living together. Him, Paige, and I. He liked her. He treated her like his own daughter. When I told him I was pregnant, he... He was happy," she smiled. "He couldn't have been happier." I smiled.
This is not what I expected. I had expected a story where he ditched us as soon as he found out, like Sage's dad had. I almost grimaced at the thought of him. Mom chuckled.
"The day you were born... He was out getting a job. I called him, and told him I was going into labor," she started laughing. "And he came home as fast as he could. After you were born, he held you in his hands, and hugged you gently. He smiled so big..." I grinned, then frowned.
"What happened to him?" I asked, my voice trembling a little bit. She sighed.
"I still don't know," she said sadly. "One morning, you were only a couple days old. I woke up, and he was gone. All his stuff, his car, everything. It made no sense to me. He had been so happy, and then he just... left."
"Oh," was all I could say. She put her arm around me, pulling me close.
"I'm sure he had good reason," she said softly.
"Yeah, I'm sure they all did," I scoffed.
"I know he loved you, Shelby. He really did. You have no idea." I pulled my legs up to my chest, thinking. If he loved me so much, why'd he leave? With no goodbye? No reason? I sighed. Then Auburn woke up, and the conversation was over.
I went to my room, at least where I was staying for now, and laid down on the bed. I could feel a headache coming on. I didn't know why I was reacting like this. I had wanted to know. I'd asked the question myself, out of the blue. I closed my eyes.
***
"Paige! Shelby!" he shouted. Paige and I were outside, playing on the swings, in the backyard of a giant house.
"I bet I can beat you!" Paige giggled. She was only seven years old. We ran inside, to see him. He'd just gotten back at work.
"Daddy!" we shouted. We ran into his arms, and he picked us up, one in each arm. He smiled when he saw us, and kissed us both on the cheek. Mom came in, and we all group hugged. Our life was perfect, and we were happy. I hugged my father close, and closed my eyes.
When I opened them, I was back in bed, fifteen years old, in my room, in Blair's house. It was one of those dreams, where when you wake up, you just want to cry because it's not real. I wanted to go back to sleep, and finish my dream. I wished it was a reality.
A week passed, and Mom still hadn't found a job. I was starting to get a little worried. Sure, I liked it here, but I didn't want to live here for the rest of my life. Mom started getting frustrated.
"I'm so sorry, girls," she said. She sat on the couch, holding her head in her hands. Kirsten and I patted her back.
"It's ok, Mom," Paige said. "Everything's going to be fine." She rubbed circles in her temples. She'd been getting headaches a lot lately.
"I'm such a terrible mother," she said.
"No you're not," I snapped. "You're having a hard time. We can't imagine what you're going through right now." She shook her head.
"Hi girls," Blair said, coming downstairs. She was doing laundry. "Everything ok?"
"Everything's just fine," Mom said, a bit sarcastically.
"She's worried she won't be able to get a job," Paige said quietly. Blair came over, and put her hand on Mom's shoulder.
"Hannah, you shouldn't worry so much. You'll get a job, eventually. Don't worry. You can stay here as long as you like. Don't feel pressured to find a job as soon as you can."
Mom didn't come to dinner. She said she had a headache. So the kids joined cousin Blair, James, and Jori for dinner by ourselves.
"Is your mother sure she's ok?" James asked. We nodded.
"She's just stressed," Paige said.
After dinner, I said goodnight to Mom, and went upstairs to sleep. I hadn't had anymore dreams about my dad. I didn't know how I felt about that. On one hand, I was glad. Then I wouldn't be so disappointed when I woke up. But then, I missed him. I wanted so bad to know why he left. Why, if he loved Mom, Paige and I, did he leave us?
I slept a dreamless night that night.
The next morning, I went downstairs to see what was for breakfast. It fascinated me; they had breakfast every morning here. James was already at work, and Jori had slept over at a friend's house last night.
"Good morning," Blair said quietly when I came downstairs.
"Hi," I said. "Where's Mom?" I went to the living room, but the pull out bed was put away, and the couch was neat. I furrowed my eyebrows. I looked to the side of the couch, where her "suitcase" had been kept for the past two weeks.
It was gone.
"Where is she?" I asked. "Did she find a place for us to stay?" I realized once I'd said it, it made no sense. Where would she get the money?
"Shelby... She's not here," Blair said. I went into the other room.
"Mom?" I called. I turned around back to Blair. "Where is she?" I asked, getting irritated. She frowned, and stared at me sadly. "Where's my mom?" I asked, my voice cracking at the end.
"Shelby, she's gone."
"When is she coming back?" I asked. "Where'd she go? Is she out looking for a job? She is, right?" Blair shook her head.
"Shelby, she's not coming back."
I wanted to scream.
Mom still hadn't found a job. This pleased me, despite our previous conversation. I liked it when she was around. She was fun to talk to, and she understood me sometimes. Even if she didn't, she listened to me.
She seemed nicer too, and more caring.
Back at home, when she was actually home, she'd pay little attention to us, and didn't care at all. The only thing on her mind was Matt, Matt, Matt. Or whoever she was dating at the time. It made me feel terrible then, like she didn't even want us. We were all just mistakes. We weren't meant to be alive.
One day, I just had to ask.
"Mom?" I asked. James was at work, Jori was at school, and Blair was out. Kirsten and Sage were outside playing, and Paige was asleep. Mom was trying to put Auburn down for a nap.
"Yeah?" I took a deep breath.
"Who's my dad?" She paused.
"Why," she asked, her face blushing a little bit.
"Because. I'd like to know."
"Umm... Your dad was a guy I dated... named Colter." I stared at her intently, waiting for her to go on. "More?"
"Please," I said quietly. She exhaled deeply, looking around.
"Well... He was a nice man. Very sweet... I liked him a lot...." She sighed, and looked at me. "I don't know, what else do you want to know?" I bit my lip, wondering if this question was off limits. It probably was, but still. I wanted to know.
"What happened when you told him? ...About me?" I asked. Her expression was blank for a while. Then she took a deep breath.
"We... We were living together. Him, Paige, and I. He liked her. He treated her like his own daughter. When I told him I was pregnant, he... He was happy," she smiled. "He couldn't have been happier." I smiled.
This is not what I expected. I had expected a story where he ditched us as soon as he found out, like Sage's dad had. I almost grimaced at the thought of him. Mom chuckled.
"The day you were born... He was out getting a job. I called him, and told him I was going into labor," she started laughing. "And he came home as fast as he could. After you were born, he held you in his hands, and hugged you gently. He smiled so big..." I grinned, then frowned.
"What happened to him?" I asked, my voice trembling a little bit. She sighed.
"I still don't know," she said sadly. "One morning, you were only a couple days old. I woke up, and he was gone. All his stuff, his car, everything. It made no sense to me. He had been so happy, and then he just... left."
"Oh," was all I could say. She put her arm around me, pulling me close.
"I'm sure he had good reason," she said softly.
"Yeah, I'm sure they all did," I scoffed.
"I know he loved you, Shelby. He really did. You have no idea." I pulled my legs up to my chest, thinking. If he loved me so much, why'd he leave? With no goodbye? No reason? I sighed. Then Auburn woke up, and the conversation was over.
I went to my room, at least where I was staying for now, and laid down on the bed. I could feel a headache coming on. I didn't know why I was reacting like this. I had wanted to know. I'd asked the question myself, out of the blue. I closed my eyes.
***
"Paige! Shelby!" he shouted. Paige and I were outside, playing on the swings, in the backyard of a giant house.
"I bet I can beat you!" Paige giggled. She was only seven years old. We ran inside, to see him. He'd just gotten back at work.
"Daddy!" we shouted. We ran into his arms, and he picked us up, one in each arm. He smiled when he saw us, and kissed us both on the cheek. Mom came in, and we all group hugged. Our life was perfect, and we were happy. I hugged my father close, and closed my eyes.
When I opened them, I was back in bed, fifteen years old, in my room, in Blair's house. It was one of those dreams, where when you wake up, you just want to cry because it's not real. I wanted to go back to sleep, and finish my dream. I wished it was a reality.
A week passed, and Mom still hadn't found a job. I was starting to get a little worried. Sure, I liked it here, but I didn't want to live here for the rest of my life. Mom started getting frustrated.
"I'm so sorry, girls," she said. She sat on the couch, holding her head in her hands. Kirsten and I patted her back.
"It's ok, Mom," Paige said. "Everything's going to be fine." She rubbed circles in her temples. She'd been getting headaches a lot lately.
"I'm such a terrible mother," she said.
"No you're not," I snapped. "You're having a hard time. We can't imagine what you're going through right now." She shook her head.
"Hi girls," Blair said, coming downstairs. She was doing laundry. "Everything ok?"
"Everything's just fine," Mom said, a bit sarcastically.
"She's worried she won't be able to get a job," Paige said quietly. Blair came over, and put her hand on Mom's shoulder.
"Hannah, you shouldn't worry so much. You'll get a job, eventually. Don't worry. You can stay here as long as you like. Don't feel pressured to find a job as soon as you can."
Mom didn't come to dinner. She said she had a headache. So the kids joined cousin Blair, James, and Jori for dinner by ourselves.
"Is your mother sure she's ok?" James asked. We nodded.
"She's just stressed," Paige said.
After dinner, I said goodnight to Mom, and went upstairs to sleep. I hadn't had anymore dreams about my dad. I didn't know how I felt about that. On one hand, I was glad. Then I wouldn't be so disappointed when I woke up. But then, I missed him. I wanted so bad to know why he left. Why, if he loved Mom, Paige and I, did he leave us?
I slept a dreamless night that night.
The next morning, I went downstairs to see what was for breakfast. It fascinated me; they had breakfast every morning here. James was already at work, and Jori had slept over at a friend's house last night.
"Good morning," Blair said quietly when I came downstairs.
"Hi," I said. "Where's Mom?" I went to the living room, but the pull out bed was put away, and the couch was neat. I furrowed my eyebrows. I looked to the side of the couch, where her "suitcase" had been kept for the past two weeks.
It was gone.
"Where is she?" I asked. "Did she find a place for us to stay?" I realized once I'd said it, it made no sense. Where would she get the money?
"Shelby... She's not here," Blair said. I went into the other room.
"Mom?" I called. I turned around back to Blair. "Where is she?" I asked, getting irritated. She frowned, and stared at me sadly. "Where's my mom?" I asked, my voice cracking at the end.
"Shelby, she's gone."
"When is she coming back?" I asked. "Where'd she go? Is she out looking for a job? She is, right?" Blair shook her head.
"Shelby, she's not coming back."
I wanted to scream.
Introduction
Everybody has a friend. Someone to talk to, to share your secrets with. Someone in this cold cruel world that you could trust. A friend doesn't exactly have to be a person. It could be a pet, a journal-sometimes a banana-or even a rock. A friend doesn't have to be real, either. A character from a story or movie, perhaps? But that's still something everyone can look at, hear, or feel. Well, some of those make-believe friends, not actors, are things only you can look at, hear, and feel. Now those are called imaginary friends, as you probably know. Imaginary friends can be anything you want them to be. An animal, a creature you made up, a monster, or just another human being. There are rare cases when special people have imaginary friends that...are not exactly in the afterlife. But, no matter what, whatever kind of friend it is, that one true friend will always be there for you.
Always.
Always.
Always...
Everybody has a friend. Someone to talk to, to share your secrets with. Someone in this cold cruel world that you could trust. A friend doesn't exactly have to be a person. It could be a pet, a journal-sometimes a banana-or even a rock. A friend doesn't have to be real, either. A character from a story or movie, perhaps? But that's still something everyone can look at, hear, or feel. Well, some of those make-believe friends, not actors, are things only you can look at, hear, and feel. Now those are called imaginary friends, as you probably know. Imaginary friends can be anything you want them to be. An animal, a creature you made up, a monster, or just another human being. There are rare cases when special people have imaginary friends that...are not exactly in the afterlife. But, no matter what, whatever kind of friend it is, that one true friend will always be there for you.
Always.
Always.
Always...
Coming soon, I promise. :):):):):)::):))::):)):):):):):):):):):):)):):):):)::)):):):):):):)::):):)):):):):):):):):):)):):)::))::):):))::):):):):)):)::):))))))))))))))):):):):):):)):):):):):):)::)):):):):)::)):):):::):)):):):):))::):):):)):XPXPXPXPXPXPXPXPXPXPXXPXPXPXPPXXP:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D::D:D:D:D:D:D::D:DD::DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
It was the next day. I got dressed nervously, had Bruno thought I was a helper? I put on a blue shirt that said "Do I Look Like I Care?" and skinny jeans. I ran outside to look for the bus, it wasn't there. I waited and waited, but it never came! I ran to school. I finally got to school no one was in the halls. I realized everyone was in class. I wrote a fake note in cursive the best I could. When I walked into class I gave the teacher the note. She read happily. Not looking angry at all, she said "Oh! I didn't give you a note. It was saying the bus driver was sick and there were no subs availble. Sorry!" I replied with " It's fine"