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Writing Question

Please! I need Feedback!!!

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Please check out my story! It's becoming close to done, and I need some feed back on it. Idk if the link will let you go to it, but I hope you guys can get to my Wattpad and read my story!
Thanks!
 Firewriter posted over a year ago
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Writing Answers

Phoenixi said:
Hey :)

I got in quite easily and thoroughly enjoyed the bit that I read. Very interesting and different - it would make a great movie!

You write very descriptively and that's great - one can picture everything in your mind's eye. The story also flows quite nicely apart from perhaps these: Introduction of the new characters is a little vague, and perhaps you could describe the bunker/dorm in more detail too just to guide the reader into the new environment. You could perhaps also do the same with the area that all were in at the beginning of the story?

A bit of proofreading needs to be done for typos and grammar, but nothing serious. Won't need deepline-editing - just some normal proofreading and editing.

I didn't get to see the end as I'd have to sign up for something and I'm not too keen on doing things like that! :) But - it's really great and you should finish it. Definitely!

You are a very talented writer. And my opinion is an expert opinion. :) I was a journalist and editor of 3 newspapers in my country, and am also a full time writer, writing for the global market. I live in South Africa.

Please don't stop writing! The story line is fresh and I'm keen to know what happens next and how it ends. :) You're 16? Brilliant work for a 16 year old. Don't stop writing. Ever.
xx
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posted over a year ago 
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THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!!!
Firewriter posted over a year ago
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