Deal or No Deal? Yeah, I choose no deal. Okay, we got the obvious joke out of the way, now let’s get on with the introduction. Deal or No Deal, a game show that I have no knowledge of. Despite living with my grandma who watches game shows all the time, I never really caught her watching any Deal or No Deal. Now The Prices is Right, that is a video game I would play. I have no knowledge of the show, what it’s about, or what made it so popular to get a video game. It’s not uncommon for game shows to get a video game based on them. I mean Jeporedy and Family Feud get video games all the time. But what was it that made Deal or No Deal on the DS so exceptionally awful? Well, it was made by Destination Software, responsible for classic titles like Balls of Fury on the Wii… oh dear.
So the title screen starts you off with this really obnoxious sound when you move the cursor to different modes, so my first instinct was to turn it off. But when I did, it turned off every sound in the game, voices included. So, we gotta stick with this obnoxious sound. I also took notice of the compressed sound. I know the DS had a lot of compressed audio, but man, this is really bad. It’s like it was ripped straight off an illegal MP3 website from 2001. Now I have an all new respect for the ripped soundtrack of Elite Beat Agents that are compressed online. Anyway, we start off with our lovely host, Howie Mandel. Kinda looks like Shido from Persona 5. But in the game… ugh. Why’s he gotta look like the creature from Bride of the Monster. And also, is he doing the fucking pose from that “You know I had to do it to ‘em” meme? After we get introduced to him, his army of twenty six Slender Women with ghost trails walk onto the field and we can finally start the game. For those that don’t watch Deal or No Deal, like me, I assume the goal is to pick a briefcase with the million dollars in it and when given the choice of a set number, unsure of what is in the briefcase you have, you could choose to accept the deal or not. So does this game do that? Oh yeah, it sure does. But man, is it… not really fun. You pick a case, you then pick seven others, you get an offer on what to do, and you just keep that up. It’s a very long, dull game. And I hope you like hearing what I assume is the Deal or No Deal theme song, because it plays after every round. And near the end when you are selecting one case at a time, it plays so much that it starts to get really grating. That being said, it’s just a poor man’s Deal or No Deal. But you probably want to know if I won or not? Well, let me tell you, when I got the offer for $400,000, I had a feeling my lucky case 7 was the right one. It was a tough battle of attrition, but I was determined that at least $400,000 was in that case. I told the banker no. I don’t want your $100,000. I want that solid $400,000 and I am leaving with it, whether you like it or not. I kept the 7, even with the chance to trade, I kept at it, and I went home with a solid… $1….. Fuck this game.
So yeah, that was Deal or No Deal. Basic as can be, pretty much a watered down, dull version of a game show I have never seen before. And sadly, it’s the only game on here I’ve beaten so far. If you don’t find nothing but hitting the A button and really not caring about your decisions that much, then here you go. Maybe game shows loose their thrill when a million dollars aren’t on the line, I don’t know. What I do know is that I spent fifty cents on the Deal or No Deal video game, so I think I lost more than just a million dollars.
So the title screen starts you off with this really obnoxious sound when you move the cursor to different modes, so my first instinct was to turn it off. But when I did, it turned off every sound in the game, voices included. So, we gotta stick with this obnoxious sound. I also took notice of the compressed sound. I know the DS had a lot of compressed audio, but man, this is really bad. It’s like it was ripped straight off an illegal MP3 website from 2001. Now I have an all new respect for the ripped soundtrack of Elite Beat Agents that are compressed online. Anyway, we start off with our lovely host, Howie Mandel. Kinda looks like Shido from Persona 5. But in the game… ugh. Why’s he gotta look like the creature from Bride of the Monster. And also, is he doing the fucking pose from that “You know I had to do it to ‘em” meme? After we get introduced to him, his army of twenty six Slender Women with ghost trails walk onto the field and we can finally start the game. For those that don’t watch Deal or No Deal, like me, I assume the goal is to pick a briefcase with the million dollars in it and when given the choice of a set number, unsure of what is in the briefcase you have, you could choose to accept the deal or not. So does this game do that? Oh yeah, it sure does. But man, is it… not really fun. You pick a case, you then pick seven others, you get an offer on what to do, and you just keep that up. It’s a very long, dull game. And I hope you like hearing what I assume is the Deal or No Deal theme song, because it plays after every round. And near the end when you are selecting one case at a time, it plays so much that it starts to get really grating. That being said, it’s just a poor man’s Deal or No Deal. But you probably want to know if I won or not? Well, let me tell you, when I got the offer for $400,000, I had a feeling my lucky case 7 was the right one. It was a tough battle of attrition, but I was determined that at least $400,000 was in that case. I told the banker no. I don’t want your $100,000. I want that solid $400,000 and I am leaving with it, whether you like it or not. I kept the 7, even with the chance to trade, I kept at it, and I went home with a solid… $1….. Fuck this game.
So yeah, that was Deal or No Deal. Basic as can be, pretty much a watered down, dull version of a game show I have never seen before. And sadly, it’s the only game on here I’ve beaten so far. If you don’t find nothing but hitting the A button and really not caring about your decisions that much, then here you go. Maybe game shows loose their thrill when a million dollars aren’t on the line, I don’t know. What I do know is that I spent fifty cents on the Deal or No Deal video game, so I think I lost more than just a million dollars.
Come little children
Come with me.
I’ll take you to a land
Of fantasy
Please little children
Don’t you cry
Hypno wouldn’t even
Hurt a fly
Please little children
Don’t you squirm
These ropes, I know
Will hold you firm
I know I said
This isn’t true.
But sadly,
Hypno lied to you
Now, little children
You weren’t clever
Now you’re trapped with me
Forever…
And then the police broke in, beat me up, and arrested me on several accounts of attempted pedophilia. I guess I should have tied them up in a cave instead of a big white van with candy in the back
Come with me.
I’ll take you to a land
Of fantasy
Please little children
Don’t you cry
Hypno wouldn’t even
Hurt a fly
Please little children
Don’t you squirm
These ropes, I know
Will hold you firm
I know I said
This isn’t true.
But sadly,
Hypno lied to you
Now, little children
You weren’t clever
Now you’re trapped with me
Forever…
And then the police broke in, beat me up, and arrested me on several accounts of attempted pedophilia. I guess I should have tied them up in a cave instead of a big white van with candy in the back
???: what is the status?
Guy: I got a extra life!
???: ... anything on the war?
Dex: we're back! with only fatal wounds!
???: Henry! what did they say?
Henry: they would support us
???: oh thank god! we must prepare for are attack then...
Dex: you know, this is slightly less of a hellhole than Germany...
Henry: not true... London and a few cities around it are the only places that are not burned to the ground or in chaos
Dex: well fuc*
Henry: until he surrenders the world is another hell
???: then we will stomp Dominic into a bloody pulp til he does surrenders!
Henry: God save the queen!
Dex: God save the world...
Guy: I got a extra life!
???: ... anything on the war?
Dex: we're back! with only fatal wounds!
???: Henry! what did they say?
Henry: they would support us
???: oh thank god! we must prepare for are attack then...
Dex: you know, this is slightly less of a hellhole than Germany...
Henry: not true... London and a few cities around it are the only places that are not burned to the ground or in chaos
Dex: well fuc*
Henry: until he surrenders the world is another hell
???: then we will stomp Dominic into a bloody pulp til he does surrenders!
Henry: God save the queen!
Dex: God save the world...