Because a few months ago I made this post, and after certain events have passed, I decided there were some things that needed to be said to anyone who believed in the love of Will and Alicia.
As humans, we are capable of beautiful things. We can create and we can evolve. We have the ability to feel deeply, perhaps more than any other species, and we can form attachments with others, these soul deep bonds that have the capability of spanning decades.
But, with this gift to love, and be loved in return, comes this curse. This terrible end. Because no matter who you are, I can guarantee that at least once in your lifetime, you will lose someone you cherish, someone that matters. You will lose them because death is natural, even if sometimes the means is not. Sometimes it’s not fair. Sometimes it’s ruthless and undignified, but there’s an honesty in knowing everybody ends up in the same place.
You will lose them, and regardless of whether they were eighty, or forty, or twenty, or five, it will be devastatingly abrupt. No one sees it coming over the hill, and the saying “hit me like a ton of bricks” comes to mind, because that’s how it feels, when it happens. There is no preparation for living in a world where you will never be able to speak to someone again, never be able to tell them good news, or casually talk about sports, or laugh with them.
There’s a permanence in death.
My mother always says, “nothing in life is permanent, circumstances change,” but when someone dies, there’s no second chance.
It is my unpopular opinion that the Kings have sculpted this facet of reality marvelously.
Now, fellow AW shipper, here is a fact: they are fictional characters.
But guess what? That doesn’t matter one lick.
Write angry rants. Throw a cheap, replaceable object across a room. Swear at the writers. Swear at Josh Charles. I am not going to rationalize or argue against the people who made the decision to put this piece of work on my television. That’s not what I am here to do.
I am here to say that we, as shippers, as fans, still exist. We still exist, and even if we are grieving, we’re going to be okay. You know why we’re going to be okay? Because it’s not real life. Because we can rewrite it. We can create an alternate reality in our heads, where none of it happened. Create a scenario where Will never stops breathing, and he tells Alicia he loves her, and Alicia tells Will she loves him, and they marry and live out the rest of their lives waking up to each other, every morning. We can block it out, to an extent.
Also, we have a whole five seasons of footage where he’s talking, where things are happening, and we can go back and resort to watching happier moments at any time of the day, so long as it doesn’t interfere with work or schooling. We can pretend.
But Alicia Florrick? In this world of The Good Wife?
She has to live the rest of her life without her soul mate.
She has to live every minute knowing that Will doesn’t exist anymore, at least in a physical sense. She doesn’t even get the crutch of religion, the assurance of knowing she’ll see him again, one day, in some kind of heaven- no. Alicia is alone. Alicia is shattered. Alicia is thinking of everything she should have said to him, everything that could have been, all those alternate realities- and she can’t even grieve like a widow, can’t break down in public. Because she’s a wife.
The Good Wife, right?
But here is what helps, when it hurts the most:
Will Gardner and Alicia Florrick really did love each other. Her heart will always be with Will. She will be old and grey, will have grandchildren and aching bones, and she will still miss him, will still want him.
Will Gardner, in death, is probably looking down on Alicia (or standing next to her as a ghost, who knows), grieving right along with her. Will would want her to be happy. Will never liked it when she was weak because he never liked it when she was hurting, so even if he is in heaven, knowing the state she’s in might be a little bit of hell, too.
They’ve always had bad timing, but those moments like going too hard and i like myself around you? That was good timing. That is what we (and Alicia) can hold onto.
He loved her.
She loved him, too.
Will Gardner empowered Alicia Florrick to be the very best she could be, both at Georgetown, and in the professional world. Whether it was in an antagonistic sense or not, they were best friends, at one point. It was real.
They were good together, and even if they could have been great for the rest of their lives, together, Alicia has the memory of his kiss to hold onto. Whatever can get you through, right?
Alicia will never get over the death of Will Gardner. No one ever gets over it. You get through it, and you learn how to be normal, but trust me when I say, she’ll be waiting to fall asleep to dream of him touching her face.
Alicia Florrick will find peace in knowing that of all the people in the world Will Gardner could have fallen for, could have had as a confidante, as a partner- it was her. They were lovers, once.
Did Alicia make love outlast passion? I don’t know. But I do know one thing: love supersedes death. Alicia is going to fall apart over Will, and I, as a masochistic, stubborn person, am going to watch. I am going to write of better worlds for Alicia.
Even if Alicia wants to control her own fate, she could have never controlled Will leaving her forever, and I think this is going to resonate in every corner of Alicia’s being.
Will dying is going to change Alicia, as a person. The question is: When your soul mate dies, how do you survive? You adapt. Alicia will adapt.
The only answer I have been able to form for any of this, is that watching the rest of the episodes of The Good Wife, not a scene will go by that I won’t imagine Will Gardner watching Alicia. Being proud of her, being disappointed in her, encouraging her, loving her.
Will will always be with Alicia. Alicia will always be with Will.
Here’s the deal, y’all: I can’t tell you to keep watching. I understand if it’s too much, for some of you. But even in the darkness of knowing the brilliancy of Will Gardner is gone, snubbed out like a light, I still believe in Will and Alicia’s love. I will write until I can’t write anymore. I will daydream at the most inappropriate times, and I will randomly cry in public every time it hits me like a ton of bricks that we’re never going to hear Will make a snarky comment again.
I imagine, if Alicia’s grandchildren ever ask Alicia of her one great love, she will talk about how it was not their grandfather. She will speak of Will fondly, with this far away look. She will speak of law school and a baseball being thrown in the air, and how he had the ability to make her heart beat faster with a single look.
She will talk about how he saved her in every way a person could possibly be saved. How he gave her a chance, when no one else would.
That is how I choose to remember them. That is how Will Gardner would want to be remembered. Not in blood and sadness and regret.
And even if Alicia is an Atheist, I imagine Alicia dying in her own time. I imagine Alicia finding Will with a baseball in his hand, as youthful and handsome as she remembered him. I imagine them kissing, and never letting go again.
Because Will Gardner spent half of his life waiting for Alicia Florrick.
I have no doubt that he’s waiting for her now, too.
credit : tumblr
As humans, we are capable of beautiful things. We can create and we can evolve. We have the ability to feel deeply, perhaps more than any other species, and we can form attachments with others, these soul deep bonds that have the capability of spanning decades.
But, with this gift to love, and be loved in return, comes this curse. This terrible end. Because no matter who you are, I can guarantee that at least once in your lifetime, you will lose someone you cherish, someone that matters. You will lose them because death is natural, even if sometimes the means is not. Sometimes it’s not fair. Sometimes it’s ruthless and undignified, but there’s an honesty in knowing everybody ends up in the same place.
You will lose them, and regardless of whether they were eighty, or forty, or twenty, or five, it will be devastatingly abrupt. No one sees it coming over the hill, and the saying “hit me like a ton of bricks” comes to mind, because that’s how it feels, when it happens. There is no preparation for living in a world where you will never be able to speak to someone again, never be able to tell them good news, or casually talk about sports, or laugh with them.
There’s a permanence in death.
My mother always says, “nothing in life is permanent, circumstances change,” but when someone dies, there’s no second chance.
It is my unpopular opinion that the Kings have sculpted this facet of reality marvelously.
Now, fellow AW shipper, here is a fact: they are fictional characters.
But guess what? That doesn’t matter one lick.
Write angry rants. Throw a cheap, replaceable object across a room. Swear at the writers. Swear at Josh Charles. I am not going to rationalize or argue against the people who made the decision to put this piece of work on my television. That’s not what I am here to do.
I am here to say that we, as shippers, as fans, still exist. We still exist, and even if we are grieving, we’re going to be okay. You know why we’re going to be okay? Because it’s not real life. Because we can rewrite it. We can create an alternate reality in our heads, where none of it happened. Create a scenario where Will never stops breathing, and he tells Alicia he loves her, and Alicia tells Will she loves him, and they marry and live out the rest of their lives waking up to each other, every morning. We can block it out, to an extent.
Also, we have a whole five seasons of footage where he’s talking, where things are happening, and we can go back and resort to watching happier moments at any time of the day, so long as it doesn’t interfere with work or schooling. We can pretend.
But Alicia Florrick? In this world of The Good Wife?
She has to live the rest of her life without her soul mate.
She has to live every minute knowing that Will doesn’t exist anymore, at least in a physical sense. She doesn’t even get the crutch of religion, the assurance of knowing she’ll see him again, one day, in some kind of heaven- no. Alicia is alone. Alicia is shattered. Alicia is thinking of everything she should have said to him, everything that could have been, all those alternate realities- and she can’t even grieve like a widow, can’t break down in public. Because she’s a wife.
The Good Wife, right?
But here is what helps, when it hurts the most:
Will Gardner and Alicia Florrick really did love each other. Her heart will always be with Will. She will be old and grey, will have grandchildren and aching bones, and she will still miss him, will still want him.
Will Gardner, in death, is probably looking down on Alicia (or standing next to her as a ghost, who knows), grieving right along with her. Will would want her to be happy. Will never liked it when she was weak because he never liked it when she was hurting, so even if he is in heaven, knowing the state she’s in might be a little bit of hell, too.
They’ve always had bad timing, but those moments like going too hard and i like myself around you? That was good timing. That is what we (and Alicia) can hold onto.
He loved her.
She loved him, too.
Will Gardner empowered Alicia Florrick to be the very best she could be, both at Georgetown, and in the professional world. Whether it was in an antagonistic sense or not, they were best friends, at one point. It was real.
They were good together, and even if they could have been great for the rest of their lives, together, Alicia has the memory of his kiss to hold onto. Whatever can get you through, right?
Alicia will never get over the death of Will Gardner. No one ever gets over it. You get through it, and you learn how to be normal, but trust me when I say, she’ll be waiting to fall asleep to dream of him touching her face.
Alicia Florrick will find peace in knowing that of all the people in the world Will Gardner could have fallen for, could have had as a confidante, as a partner- it was her. They were lovers, once.
Did Alicia make love outlast passion? I don’t know. But I do know one thing: love supersedes death. Alicia is going to fall apart over Will, and I, as a masochistic, stubborn person, am going to watch. I am going to write of better worlds for Alicia.
Even if Alicia wants to control her own fate, she could have never controlled Will leaving her forever, and I think this is going to resonate in every corner of Alicia’s being.
Will dying is going to change Alicia, as a person. The question is: When your soul mate dies, how do you survive? You adapt. Alicia will adapt.
The only answer I have been able to form for any of this, is that watching the rest of the episodes of The Good Wife, not a scene will go by that I won’t imagine Will Gardner watching Alicia. Being proud of her, being disappointed in her, encouraging her, loving her.
Will will always be with Alicia. Alicia will always be with Will.
Here’s the deal, y’all: I can’t tell you to keep watching. I understand if it’s too much, for some of you. But even in the darkness of knowing the brilliancy of Will Gardner is gone, snubbed out like a light, I still believe in Will and Alicia’s love. I will write until I can’t write anymore. I will daydream at the most inappropriate times, and I will randomly cry in public every time it hits me like a ton of bricks that we’re never going to hear Will make a snarky comment again.
I imagine, if Alicia’s grandchildren ever ask Alicia of her one great love, she will talk about how it was not their grandfather. She will speak of Will fondly, with this far away look. She will speak of law school and a baseball being thrown in the air, and how he had the ability to make her heart beat faster with a single look.
She will talk about how he saved her in every way a person could possibly be saved. How he gave her a chance, when no one else would.
That is how I choose to remember them. That is how Will Gardner would want to be remembered. Not in blood and sadness and regret.
And even if Alicia is an Atheist, I imagine Alicia dying in her own time. I imagine Alicia finding Will with a baseball in his hand, as youthful and handsome as she remembered him. I imagine them kissing, and never letting go again.
Because Will Gardner spent half of his life waiting for Alicia Florrick.
I have no doubt that he’s waiting for her now, too.
credit : tumblr
