This short story is not really based on any one of the four books. I suppose it could be after Twilight and before New Moon. It's a comical piece, in my mind, as Alice drags the complaining Emmett and Edward around a department store. Please comment and tell me what you think!!
Alice was the one who was into fashion in our family. Rosalie and Esme were too of course, but Alice was the most interested in it. She was the one who dressed us, never letting us wear the same outfit twice. She usually went shopping with Rosalie or Esme, or on a rare occasion, Jasper; never Emmett or I. Or worse, the two of us together. Jasper felt obliged to go because Alice was his other half. Emmett and I had really no ties to Alice, except the fact that she was our sister. Alice hated shopping with us as much as we hated it ourselves. We moaned, complained, whined, annoyed her and fought with her until she let us go home. Only on a rare occasion would she take one of us shopping, let alone both of us.
“Alice, why? Why?” Emmett whined as I pulled into the department store in Harquaim. “Why, Alice? Why?? What did we do to deserve this?” He turned to me “We haven’t done anything that awful lately, have we?” He asked, desperately searching for a reason for why Alice was dragging us shopping with her.
“You’ve done nothing that awful of recent times.” Alice informed him, her high, soprano voice going another octave higher in agitation. “But Rose and Jasper are hunting, and Esme and Carlisle are together. Who else was I suppose to go with?”
“Bella?” Emmett offered. “She is your best friend after all.”
“In case you’ve forgotten, Bella had to drive Charlie to Vancouver to get his car fixed today.”
I sighed. That’s where I should have been right now. With Bella. But she wouldn’t even think about it. She said I was to go “have a nice day with Alice”. I was sure she was grinning when I left her room this morning.
“Emmett, stop complaining.” I commanded; his jaw dropped in shock.
'W..w…w…what??? What are you saying? Do you want to go shopping???'
“No.” I said. “But I want to get back to Bella, and the longer you sit here whining, the longer this will take. So let’s get this over with.” I sighed and stepped out of the car.
Alice, grinning, hopped out beside me, throwing on a pair of stylish sunglasses; designer, no doubt.
“Alice, do you really need the sun glasses?” I asked, a bit perplexed at why she would even consider putting them on.
“Yes, I do actually.” she said in a voice that suggested that it should be obvious to why. Edward, it’s very annoying to try and buy things when the sales assistant is completely and utterly stunned. You should know that.
I sighed, but nodded. Alice was right. It was impossible to get anything done when the person you were working with couldn’t concentrate on anything but how wonderfully beautiful we looked....!
Alice nodded as she assessed my reaction to her reasoning. 'I’m always right, you know' she added smugly, as she danced off to the entrance. 'Come on Edward. Don’t be so slow!!!'
“C’mon Emmett.” I said glumly. “Let’s get this over with.” Emmett was already muttering curses at Alice, and I couldn’t help the grin that was twitching at the side of my mouth when Alice turned around and commanded us to hurry up, giving Emmett the evil eye, which both of us could see easily, even through her dark glasses.
Our first stop was the men’s department. Emmett and I complained our way through there, as Alice forced us into the dressing rooms to try on numerous shirts, jumpers, jackets, trousers and shoes. At one stage Emmett flung a pair of shoes at Alice so hard that the sole came off them. Alice glared at Emmett and placed the shoes back on the shelf, leaving a one hundred dollar bill at the checkout. However Jasper had got himself out of this one, I would never know. Hunting, yeah right. He went hunting with me yesterday when Alice was with Bella, for heaven’s sake! Ugh, he was going to pay for this.
Finally, with 6 bags in her hands Alice moved from the men’s department to the women’s.
“Oh, no. No, no, no, no.” Emmett said as soon as he realised where we were going. “No, way Alice Cullen. The men’s department I can handle.… just about. But I am not going any where near the women’s department. That is where I put my foot down.” he stamped his foot, to prove his point, and the marble underneath him cracked. Alice glared but kept walking. Emmett had started cursing Alice again, and unfortunately, I couldn’t help grinning.
“All right, Edward.” Alice said in a sharp tone, like a teacher giving out to a misbehaving child. “If you find this so amusing you can come with me. Emmett, you can go back to the car. Here take these bags.” She shoved her bags at him, and Emmett shot me an apologetic look.
“Emmett Cullen, get lost.” Alice growled, glaring at him.
'Sorry man. But no way am I sticking around when I don’t have to. Good luck.'
He turned and walked, way too quickly out of the store.
“Thanks, ever so much.” I muttered sarcastically under my breath. I heard him chuckle, and Alice shot me a murderous look.
“C’mon, Edward. You don’t have to do much. Just hold stuff. Go to your happy place!”
Now there was a good idea. I followed Alice all around the store, holding the clothes that she was buying and the rejects she was not. But I could have been anywhere, because I was with Bella; in my happy place.
Note: apostrophes show the thoughts Edward hears.