Chapter 1
Cuddled up in my bed I remember the better days when Edward and I could tell each other everything. But how could I tell him something that could evidently ruin our friendship? I can’t bear not to have him in my life, no matter how small or large a part he plays in it I shall keep the secret from him. Jacob knows something is wrong but what does he expect he knows I am in love with Edward but won’t let me go. All I am to him is a punch bag! I and everyone else in Forks knows how he sleeps around and also wonder why I take him back, but how can I not as hard as it is to admit I love him, but I am not in love with him. My friends wonder how I can say that but the truth is when he is truly himself he is one of the nicest people you will ever meet. It is just a shame that side of him isn’t shown more frequently. Climbing out of bed the first thing I am face with is a photo of Edward and I at junior prom, I remember that day so clearly Flashback E – Bella, you know your my best friend? And you know how much I love you? So will you please, please, please go to prom with me – I know you hate to dance but you don’t need to I promise but please come.
How could I say no to him? I Love him.
B – Okay Edward I will go with you but you owe me big time. As soon as they words escaped my lips he pulled me into one of his large bear hugs that I love so much.
End of Flashback
I stood up and began to get dressed in a white t-shirt and black blazer, today I honestly couldn’t care less what I looked like. As I was about to walk out I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I had to admit I looked good. After grabbing an apple for breakfast a small smile spread across my face at how I looked today. I thought how Edward would never be able to take his eyes off me, then that image was quickly removed from my head at the realization that Edward would never truly like me in that way. Then my good mood ended. Grabbing my keys from the dish in the hall I headed out to my Little Ford Ka which I had to admit I loved dearly, as I was about to reverse a mop of brown hair standing behind my car caught my attention. It was Edward a small smile spread across my face as he chapped on the passenger window.(E) Bella, Good Morning Babe, Do you mind giving me a lift to school? (B) Ofcourse! What are best friends for. (E)Your right your my best friend in the whole wide world and I hope you always will be!
That was it the tears started to appear in my eyes at that, me always being his best friend nothing more? It broke my heart I quickly wiped the tear way before he noticed and began what was going to be a long journey to school.
Chapter 2
EPOV
I awoke to the noise of my buzzing alarm; I threw my arm out the bed in an attempt to shut my alarm clock the hell up. As I finally grasped it, then it fell on the floor along with something else that made a clatter I jumped out the bed in an attempt to see what it was it was lying on the floor was the picture of Bella and I from a few Christmases ago I picked it up and laid it on my bed to notice there was a crackdown it. Crap! I muttered under my breath. I made a mental note to get it fixed as soon as possible. As I grabbed my clothes I wandered into my bathroom to get ready on the way I out I noticed from my window Bella wandering around her room in her outfit. God she is Beautiful I thought to myself. I had to erase that thought because deep down I knew she wouldn’t think of me that way not now, not ever. I was her best friend, almost like her brother. I wandered down the stairs to grab something to eat, thankfully my mother had already prepared me something seen as she knew what a hopeless cook I was! With that I considered grabbing my keys to my silver Volvo but decided against it and instead spent some time with the girl I loved more than life itself. I managed to get to Bella before he reversed from the driveway by chapping on her window (E) Bella, Good morning babe, do you mind giving me a lift to school today?(E) (B) Ofcourse not what are best friends for? (B) And with those words my heart shattered into a million pieces, Best Friend? Though I was glad to have her in my life I wanted more than best friend I knew I had been kidding myself but I had hoped she felt the same way. Obviously not since she was still with that dog Jacob Black! God I hated him, he had everything I wanted and didn’t deserve it. I, myself always knew I was never good enough for her! But him? He hit her everyone knew so but she would always welcome him home with open arms. Bella’s light breathing brought me out of my little day dream I could see she was sad that I hadn’t replied to her best friend statement so I quickly blurted out something to make her happy (E) Your right your my best friend in the whole wide world and I hope you always will be! (E) Ofcourse I wanted more but I wouldn’t, couldn’t waste our friendship! So she began to drive away in complete silence, for once I was glad as I truthfully today couldn’t bear hearing her talk about Jacob. I turned to look out the window, thinking about what a long ride to school it would be.
Chapter 3
B|POV
The ride to school that day was beyond hellish. Neither one talked. When Bella arrived at school she had to get Edward form his day dream (B) Edward? (B) (E) What…? Oh sorry I was day dreaming(E) A small smile spread across my face at just how childish he was, (B) Yeh I guessed that Edward! Do you need me to give you a ride home after school? (B) Oh god if he says that bitch Tanya is taking him home I may cry! It’s no secret that Esme and Carlisle don’t like her; infect no one but Edward and herself like her! (E)Erm ofcourse! Why do you have something else planned with I dunno? Jacob (E) he said scornfully. If he actually gave a damn about me in that way then maybe it wouldn’t bother me? (B) And what exactly do you mean by that Edward, He is my boyfriend after all! (B) As much as I wished Edward was my boyfriend he wasn’t so it really had nothing to do with him! (E) Well I don’t like him Bella he is not good enough for you! And quite frankly I don’t like you spending time with him!(E) Excuse me I couldn’t believe what I was hearing he didn’t like me spending time with him? (B) What in the hell gives you the right to tell me what is and isn’t good for me Edward? And as for you not liking me spending time with him that’s your problem, I wouldn’t need to spend so much time with him if I seen you more! But no you’re always with that bitch. So while we are playing this game I don’t like you spending time with her either! So what you gonna do about that Edward? (B) I couldn’t believe I had said all of that. He was looking at me completely shocked, serves him right I thought to myself. (E) You know what Bella you’re not even worth having this conversation with and actually that ‘bitch’ who happens to be my girlfriend can take me home thanks!(E) And with that he left. I let my head drop against the steering wheel at what I had just done. Reality had just came crashing down at the fact I may have lost my best friend and the person who held my heart forever, but the words ‘Bella you’re not even worth it’ rang through my head…
E|POV
I was staring out the window thinking about Bella, God I loved that girl so much! I wish I could tell her. Suddenly I was brought out of my dream but her angelic voice (B) Edward? (B) (E) What…? Oh sorry I was day dreaming (E) I saw a small smile spread across her face. (B) Yeh I guessed that Edward! Do you need me to give you a ride home after school? (B) Oh no was this her subtly dropping the hint that she was doing something else? With that dog? (E)Erm ofcourse! Why do you have something else planned with I dunno? Jacob (E) I asked scornfully. I knew it was none of my business but I needed to know! (B) And what exactly do you mean by that Edward, He is my boyfriend after all! (B) I cringed when she called him ‘boyfriend’ ‘Pet Mutt’ would have suited him so much better. (E) Well I don’t like him Bella he is not good enough for you! And quite frankly I don’t like you spending time with him! (E) I knew I was skating on thin ice but I needed her to know how I felt about that mutt! (B) What in the hell gives you the right to tell me what is and isn’t good for me Edward? And as for you not liking me spending time with him that’s your problem, I wouldn’t need to spend so much time with him if I seen you more! But no you’re always with that bitch. So while we are playing this game I don’t like you spending time with her either! So what you gonna do about that Edward? (B) I couldn’t believe what she was saying I spend time with Bella so I will admit not as much as we used to but we did see each other. (E) You know what Bella you’re not even worth having this conversation with and actually that ‘bitch’ who happens to be my girlfriend can take me home thanks!(E) I can’t believe I said that to Bella ‘you’re not even worth it!’ ofcourse she bloody was but with that I left the car feeling absolutely terrible looking back I knew she was crying then she laid her head on the steering wheel. That’s when I went to class.
Chapter 4
B|POV
I was heartbroken I knew he loved me just not in the way I wanted it. I needed to be loved. I grabbed my phone and text Jake.
J, what you doing I really need you can we meet ? –Bx Then I placed my phone down shocked at what I was doing I was going to Jake to loose my V-card. I love him but not like I love Edward oh well Edward was one to be kind with details when it came to Tanya and him. Infact he shared with me every agonizing detail with me. I was dragged out of my thoughts by my phone buzzing. 1 new message.
Bella babe, im at my house everything okay? You coming round? –Jx God he was being nice to be today, he must be in a good mood.
Yeh, Jake im ready … can I come round? –Bx I quickly pressed the send button before changing my mind. Before I could even place my phone back it buzzed again.
B, Ofcourse I have an empty house come round just now. –Jx And with that text i drove down to LaPush. I quickly got out my car and sprinted to Jakes door to avoid the rain. Once I was there I chapped and Jake opened it and pulled me into a deep kiss. And with that the activities began. I was threw against the wall so Jake could have his way with me. 2 hours and 23 minutes later I reappeared feeling rather good about myself. I left and jumped into my car and began to drive home. But that’s when it had hit me, the deed I had just carried out. I began feeling terrible and only wanted to talk to one person. As I drove up to my house I noticed the time and that he would nearly be home. So I decided to go up to his room to sit and wait until I could apologize. However when I chapped the door Esme opened it and embraced me in one of her motherly hugs I loved so much. I told her I was here to talk to Edward and she told me he was in his room with another visitor. I realized that it would probably be Jasper or Emmet. When I reached his room I chapped the door and began to walk in. then I was stopped in my tracks by what I saw. Edward on top of Tanya on his bed with a smashed photo of Edward and I at the bottom of the bed. And with that I gasped and ran, I quickly realized that he must have heard me because all I heard was ‘Bella, please wait. Im sorry’ but I couldn’t take it I ran up to my room and shut my curtains and lay in my bed and cried. I must had eventually fell asleep because when I awoke I had 6 texts.
B, Today was great! Can’t wait for a re-run! –Jx
Bella, Im sorry please let me explain. Ex
B, I know your mad but please talk to me. I love you. Ex
Bella please im worried you wont answer your door talk to me!!. Ex
Bells, don’t worry about dinner tonight I will bring something in! – Dadx
Bella Swan! You better reply to my texts I need to talk to you!.Ex
I never replied to any of the texts that night, instead I waited until my Dad was in to ask something I hope he will let me do. (B) Dad, do you mind if for the rest of the term I stay with mum? (B) (C) Okay Bella if that’s what you want.(C) (B) Thanks dad I really need this(B) with that I stood up and pecked him on the cheek. And went upto reply to these texts. Well his texts.
You don’t need to be sorry! I will see you if and when I come back! Goodbye. B Exactly 30 seconds later he replied
Where are you going? Please don’t leave me I need you. I love you. Ex
Its none of your business where I am going all you need to know is it is somewhere we cant interfere with each other and don’t lie. You don’t love me! –B I pressed the send button with tears streaming down my face.
Why are you being like this? Tell me let’s talk about it. I need you. And make no mistake Isabella Swan. I Love You! -E . By this point I was in tears.
Goodbye Edward. I clicked send and began to pack my bags. But I also opened my curtains so I could see into his room and he into mine. I looked over and seen the burning man in Edward.
Chapter 5
E|POV
Running to class I took my seat in English and thought about what had just happened. Then Tanya came and sat next to me and grasped my hand and began running it up and down her thigh. God I wasn’t in the mood! I may have just lost my best friend and she’s horny? Oh God just cause I wasn’t in the mood doesn’t mean HE wasn’t. Before thinking twice as soon as English was over she dragged me out to her car and began driving to my house. Before I could say anything she pulled me up to my room and flung me onto my bed before she jumped on top of me she noticed the photo of Bella and I. (T) Finally got sick of that bitch?(T) she said happily. I snapped back (E) No! So are we doing this or not? (E) And with that she jumped on top of me and we began making out. I flung her on the bed so I was on top and began devouring her. As I was getting into it I heard a small chap on the door and before I could stop I heard a pained gasp. As I climbed off of Tanya I realized I saw a flash of brown hair and knew straight away it was Bella, looking around I seen what she must have saw not only me on top of but the smashed photo of Bella and myself. Crap! I muttered under my breath. And began running to catch up with her (E) Bella, please wait im sorry!(E) I shouted at her but it was too late she was gone. I collapsed on the stairs and thought about everything, every memory I had Bella was in it and now I had lost her. I finally got back up and went back to my room where Tanya was sitting with a sour look on her face. Before she could say anything I snapped (E) Tanya! Get the hell out I really don’t want to see you. (E) She looked at me shocked. (T) You know what Edward we are over, you’re obviously in love with her. I don’t know why she is such a stupid bitch!(T) I was fuming anger, not with the fact that she had just broke up with me but at what she was calling Bella. (E) Get the hell out now (E) I roared. As soon as she had left I went over to look out my window to see if I could see Bella but her curtains were shut. Damn it! What had I done? I whipped my phone out my trousers pocket and text her.
Bella, Im sorry please let me explain. Ex
Bella was normally so quick to reply to texts but she wasn’t replying to mine. However, I was not going to give up!
B, I know your mad but please talk to me. I love you. Ex
I cringed at the last three words I knew I had no right to say that to her especially after what I was putting her through. No Reply. I decided to go around and bang on her door until she answered after about 10 minutes she still wasn’t opening it up. I began to worry. She wouldn’t do anything stupid! Would she…? I had to shake that out of my head I couldn’t stand anything happening to her.
Bella please im worried you wont answer your door talk to me!!. Ex
I needed her to reply! Was beginning to get pissed now.
Bella Swan! You better reply to my texts I need to talk to you!.Ex
She never replied so I went back to my house and when I got in my mum was waiting for me.
(M) Edward what’s wrong? You look terrible. (M) I really didn’t want to have this conversation right now. (E) Nothing Mum! Just leave me alone please! (E) before she could reply I ran up to my room and lay on my bed where I fell asleep. About an hour later I woke up to my phone beeping. I picked it up and saw there was one new message from Bella. Thank God I thought to myself.
You don’t need to be sorry! I will see you if and when I come back! Goodbye. B What? Where was she going? She couldn’t leave me I needed her! I replied as quick as my fingers would allow.
Where are you going? Please don’t leave me I need you. I love you. Ex It was true I did need her. She replied almost as soon as I had sent it.
Its none of your business where I am going all you need to know is it is somewhere we cant interfere with each other and don’t lie. You don’t love me! –B
I read all the message and the words stood out. ‘don’t lie. You don’t love me!’ with everything that was going on I was completely sure about the fact I loved her and she would know one way or another. One day.
Why are you being like this? Tell me let’s talk about it. I need you. And make no mistake Isabella Swan. I Love You! -E . By this point I was in tears. It may be hard to admit but she is the most important thing in my life. I waited for a reply and when I got it I wished I hadn’t.
Goodbye Edward.
At that moment my life came crashing down. She was serious. She was leaving. What had I done?
I sat at my desk and felt like the burning man was taking over me.
Chapter 6
B|POV
2 weeks later.
I had successfully managed to spend 2 weeks without Edward. No Talking. No Looking. No Communication! Tomorrow I would be flying to Jacksonville to spend time with my Mother for 7 weeks. I had to get away from here. Away from him. I began packing I placed clothes, my I -pod, mp3 player and laptop in my bag too. I then moved the case to the door of my room. I went over and opened the curtains so he could see me packing up my life because of him. As soon as I opened them I saw him sitting at his desk staring at my window, when he realized I had opened the curtains for the first time in weeks a small smile spread across his face. He must have thought I had forgiven him. God he was wrong. I turned and walked to my desk so that my back was to him. As much as I hated him right now I needed him to know why I left so I decided to write him a letter that Charlie could give to him once I had left.
Dear Edward, by the time you receive this letter you will know that I have left. As much as I don’t want to talk you after the past 16 years of friendship I thought I owed you this. I shall be away for seven weeks. As much as I want to say when I come back stay out of my life, I can’t because I have been keeping a big secret from you for quite a while. Im in Love with you. So there you have it, as much as I wish you feel the same way it’s evident you don’t and never will. I will see you when I come back after im over you, your my best friend and I don’t want to lose that, ever! So you can email me during the summer. And do not under any circumstances say you love me too, because it’s not fair on me. Goodbye Edward.
Bella.
I was now crying in the process of sealing the envelope. With that I lay in my bed and cried myself to sleep again. Waking up in the morning I went down and said to Charlie to give him the letter to give to Edward. I was looking out the window when arguing brought me out of my day dream. I went out to find Jacob and Edward fighting. Oh God I thought to myself. I noticed how terrible Edward looked. He looked like he had lost weight and hadn’t slept for months. I walked over and grabbed Jacobs face and began to kiss him passionately. As I broke free I turned to Edward who was close to tears. With that I said Goodbye to both Edward and Jacob and left in the car not looking back.
Chapter 7
E|POV
2 weeks. 2 god damned weeks! That’s how long it had been since I talked to her. Every time I went near her she bolted as far away from me as fast as she could. I remained in the same place I had since the night she had left. Every waking minute I would sit at the desk and gaze over at her window hoping to catch a glimpse of her. She never shut her curtains not fully at least not in the 16 years I had been best friends with her for. About 15 minutes later she opened her curtains and a large grin had spread across my face. Has she forgiven me I thought to my-self, part of me hoping this was true but the other part knowing that it would never happen? I had hurt her too much. But still I kept hoping until she turned round and sat at her desk with her back facing me. She hunched her back over and began writing. I then heard a chap at my door and since my parents weren’t in I would have to go down and answer the door when I did answer it, I wished I hadn’t it was Jacob Black. My Ex-Best friend. (E) What do you want? (E) I snapped. (J) I want to know what you done to make my girlfriend want to leave town? (J) He roared. (E) Well we both know why your dating her don’t we. And you don’t deserve her as your girlfriend! You treat her like a bloody punch bag! (E) I screamed. (J) And what do you mean by that ‘we both know why your dating her’ the answer to that would be I love her. (J) (E) we both know that the only reason you’re going out with her is because I wanted her! You told me as much! (E) I snapped. (J) And we both know the reason you didn’t. Because you didn’t think she would be easy. Well have I got news for you, she’s great absolutely great! She’s a screamer you know? (J) And with that I snapped him and Bella didn’t oh god no! Just as I was about to introduce him to my left fist Bella came running out and grabbed Jacobs face. She’s gonna slap him I thought to myself, but no she started snogging him only to break away for air. At that point I believed everything that dog had said about Bella and him and it made me sick. I could feel the tears stinging in the corner of my eyes. At that moment she broke away from him said goodbye to him. Then turned to me. Oh god what was she going to do hug me, kiss me? Sadly none of these (B) Goodbye Edward (B) and with that she was in the car waiting for Charlie. Charlie came out with an envelope and handed it to me nodding his head and then drove away. I no longer had the patience for Jacob Black; I walked into my house slamming the door shut and slouched down on my couch to read the letter.
Dear Edward, by the time you receive this letter you will know that I have left. As much as I don’t want to talk you after the past 16 years of friendship I thought I owed you this. I shall be away for seven weeks. As much as I want to say when I come back stay out of my life, I can’t because I have been keeping a big secret from you for quite a while. Im in Love with you. So there you have it, as much as I wish you feel the same way it’s evident you don’t and never will. I will see you when I come back after im over you, your my best friend and I don’t want to lose that, ever! So you can email me during the summer. And do not under any circumstances say you love me too, because it’s not fair on me. Goodbye Edward.
Bella.
I was now physically sobbing. I couldn’t control it. She was in love with me too all this time. I couldn’t handle it. I went into the kitchen and pulled out the first sharp thing I could find and took it to my wrists then everything went black…
Cuddled up in my bed I remember the better days when Edward and I could tell each other everything. But how could I tell him something that could evidently ruin our friendship? I can’t bear not to have him in my life, no matter how small or large a part he plays in it I shall keep the secret from him. Jacob knows something is wrong but what does he expect he knows I am in love with Edward but won’t let me go. All I am to him is a punch bag! I and everyone else in Forks knows how he sleeps around and also wonder why I take him back, but how can I not as hard as it is to admit I love him, but I am not in love with him. My friends wonder how I can say that but the truth is when he is truly himself he is one of the nicest people you will ever meet. It is just a shame that side of him isn’t shown more frequently. Climbing out of bed the first thing I am face with is a photo of Edward and I at junior prom, I remember that day so clearly Flashback E – Bella, you know your my best friend? And you know how much I love you? So will you please, please, please go to prom with me – I know you hate to dance but you don’t need to I promise but please come.
How could I say no to him? I Love him.
B – Okay Edward I will go with you but you owe me big time. As soon as they words escaped my lips he pulled me into one of his large bear hugs that I love so much.
End of Flashback
I stood up and began to get dressed in a white t-shirt and black blazer, today I honestly couldn’t care less what I looked like. As I was about to walk out I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I had to admit I looked good. After grabbing an apple for breakfast a small smile spread across my face at how I looked today. I thought how Edward would never be able to take his eyes off me, then that image was quickly removed from my head at the realization that Edward would never truly like me in that way. Then my good mood ended. Grabbing my keys from the dish in the hall I headed out to my Little Ford Ka which I had to admit I loved dearly, as I was about to reverse a mop of brown hair standing behind my car caught my attention. It was Edward a small smile spread across my face as he chapped on the passenger window.(E) Bella, Good Morning Babe, Do you mind giving me a lift to school? (B) Ofcourse! What are best friends for. (E)Your right your my best friend in the whole wide world and I hope you always will be!
That was it the tears started to appear in my eyes at that, me always being his best friend nothing more? It broke my heart I quickly wiped the tear way before he noticed and began what was going to be a long journey to school.
Chapter 2
EPOV
I awoke to the noise of my buzzing alarm; I threw my arm out the bed in an attempt to shut my alarm clock the hell up. As I finally grasped it, then it fell on the floor along with something else that made a clatter I jumped out the bed in an attempt to see what it was it was lying on the floor was the picture of Bella and I from a few Christmases ago I picked it up and laid it on my bed to notice there was a crackdown it. Crap! I muttered under my breath. I made a mental note to get it fixed as soon as possible. As I grabbed my clothes I wandered into my bathroom to get ready on the way I out I noticed from my window Bella wandering around her room in her outfit. God she is Beautiful I thought to myself. I had to erase that thought because deep down I knew she wouldn’t think of me that way not now, not ever. I was her best friend, almost like her brother. I wandered down the stairs to grab something to eat, thankfully my mother had already prepared me something seen as she knew what a hopeless cook I was! With that I considered grabbing my keys to my silver Volvo but decided against it and instead spent some time with the girl I loved more than life itself. I managed to get to Bella before he reversed from the driveway by chapping on her window (E) Bella, Good morning babe, do you mind giving me a lift to school today?(E) (B) Ofcourse not what are best friends for? (B) And with those words my heart shattered into a million pieces, Best Friend? Though I was glad to have her in my life I wanted more than best friend I knew I had been kidding myself but I had hoped she felt the same way. Obviously not since she was still with that dog Jacob Black! God I hated him, he had everything I wanted and didn’t deserve it. I, myself always knew I was never good enough for her! But him? He hit her everyone knew so but she would always welcome him home with open arms. Bella’s light breathing brought me out of my little day dream I could see she was sad that I hadn’t replied to her best friend statement so I quickly blurted out something to make her happy (E) Your right your my best friend in the whole wide world and I hope you always will be! (E) Ofcourse I wanted more but I wouldn’t, couldn’t waste our friendship! So she began to drive away in complete silence, for once I was glad as I truthfully today couldn’t bear hearing her talk about Jacob. I turned to look out the window, thinking about what a long ride to school it would be.
Chapter 3
B|POV
The ride to school that day was beyond hellish. Neither one talked. When Bella arrived at school she had to get Edward form his day dream (B) Edward? (B) (E) What…? Oh sorry I was day dreaming(E) A small smile spread across my face at just how childish he was, (B) Yeh I guessed that Edward! Do you need me to give you a ride home after school? (B) Oh god if he says that bitch Tanya is taking him home I may cry! It’s no secret that Esme and Carlisle don’t like her; infect no one but Edward and herself like her! (E)Erm ofcourse! Why do you have something else planned with I dunno? Jacob (E) he said scornfully. If he actually gave a damn about me in that way then maybe it wouldn’t bother me? (B) And what exactly do you mean by that Edward, He is my boyfriend after all! (B) As much as I wished Edward was my boyfriend he wasn’t so it really had nothing to do with him! (E) Well I don’t like him Bella he is not good enough for you! And quite frankly I don’t like you spending time with him!(E) Excuse me I couldn’t believe what I was hearing he didn’t like me spending time with him? (B) What in the hell gives you the right to tell me what is and isn’t good for me Edward? And as for you not liking me spending time with him that’s your problem, I wouldn’t need to spend so much time with him if I seen you more! But no you’re always with that bitch. So while we are playing this game I don’t like you spending time with her either! So what you gonna do about that Edward? (B) I couldn’t believe I had said all of that. He was looking at me completely shocked, serves him right I thought to myself. (E) You know what Bella you’re not even worth having this conversation with and actually that ‘bitch’ who happens to be my girlfriend can take me home thanks!(E) And with that he left. I let my head drop against the steering wheel at what I had just done. Reality had just came crashing down at the fact I may have lost my best friend and the person who held my heart forever, but the words ‘Bella you’re not even worth it’ rang through my head…
E|POV
I was staring out the window thinking about Bella, God I loved that girl so much! I wish I could tell her. Suddenly I was brought out of my dream but her angelic voice (B) Edward? (B) (E) What…? Oh sorry I was day dreaming (E) I saw a small smile spread across her face. (B) Yeh I guessed that Edward! Do you need me to give you a ride home after school? (B) Oh no was this her subtly dropping the hint that she was doing something else? With that dog? (E)Erm ofcourse! Why do you have something else planned with I dunno? Jacob (E) I asked scornfully. I knew it was none of my business but I needed to know! (B) And what exactly do you mean by that Edward, He is my boyfriend after all! (B) I cringed when she called him ‘boyfriend’ ‘Pet Mutt’ would have suited him so much better. (E) Well I don’t like him Bella he is not good enough for you! And quite frankly I don’t like you spending time with him! (E) I knew I was skating on thin ice but I needed her to know how I felt about that mutt! (B) What in the hell gives you the right to tell me what is and isn’t good for me Edward? And as for you not liking me spending time with him that’s your problem, I wouldn’t need to spend so much time with him if I seen you more! But no you’re always with that bitch. So while we are playing this game I don’t like you spending time with her either! So what you gonna do about that Edward? (B) I couldn’t believe what she was saying I spend time with Bella so I will admit not as much as we used to but we did see each other. (E) You know what Bella you’re not even worth having this conversation with and actually that ‘bitch’ who happens to be my girlfriend can take me home thanks!(E) I can’t believe I said that to Bella ‘you’re not even worth it!’ ofcourse she bloody was but with that I left the car feeling absolutely terrible looking back I knew she was crying then she laid her head on the steering wheel. That’s when I went to class.
Chapter 4
B|POV
I was heartbroken I knew he loved me just not in the way I wanted it. I needed to be loved. I grabbed my phone and text Jake.
J, what you doing I really need you can we meet ? –Bx Then I placed my phone down shocked at what I was doing I was going to Jake to loose my V-card. I love him but not like I love Edward oh well Edward was one to be kind with details when it came to Tanya and him. Infact he shared with me every agonizing detail with me. I was dragged out of my thoughts by my phone buzzing. 1 new message.
Bella babe, im at my house everything okay? You coming round? –Jx God he was being nice to be today, he must be in a good mood.
Yeh, Jake im ready … can I come round? –Bx I quickly pressed the send button before changing my mind. Before I could even place my phone back it buzzed again.
B, Ofcourse I have an empty house come round just now. –Jx And with that text i drove down to LaPush. I quickly got out my car and sprinted to Jakes door to avoid the rain. Once I was there I chapped and Jake opened it and pulled me into a deep kiss. And with that the activities began. I was threw against the wall so Jake could have his way with me. 2 hours and 23 minutes later I reappeared feeling rather good about myself. I left and jumped into my car and began to drive home. But that’s when it had hit me, the deed I had just carried out. I began feeling terrible and only wanted to talk to one person. As I drove up to my house I noticed the time and that he would nearly be home. So I decided to go up to his room to sit and wait until I could apologize. However when I chapped the door Esme opened it and embraced me in one of her motherly hugs I loved so much. I told her I was here to talk to Edward and she told me he was in his room with another visitor. I realized that it would probably be Jasper or Emmet. When I reached his room I chapped the door and began to walk in. then I was stopped in my tracks by what I saw. Edward on top of Tanya on his bed with a smashed photo of Edward and I at the bottom of the bed. And with that I gasped and ran, I quickly realized that he must have heard me because all I heard was ‘Bella, please wait. Im sorry’ but I couldn’t take it I ran up to my room and shut my curtains and lay in my bed and cried. I must had eventually fell asleep because when I awoke I had 6 texts.
B, Today was great! Can’t wait for a re-run! –Jx
Bella, Im sorry please let me explain. Ex
B, I know your mad but please talk to me. I love you. Ex
Bella please im worried you wont answer your door talk to me!!. Ex
Bells, don’t worry about dinner tonight I will bring something in! – Dadx
Bella Swan! You better reply to my texts I need to talk to you!.Ex
I never replied to any of the texts that night, instead I waited until my Dad was in to ask something I hope he will let me do. (B) Dad, do you mind if for the rest of the term I stay with mum? (B) (C) Okay Bella if that’s what you want.(C) (B) Thanks dad I really need this(B) with that I stood up and pecked him on the cheek. And went upto reply to these texts. Well his texts.
You don’t need to be sorry! I will see you if and when I come back! Goodbye. B Exactly 30 seconds later he replied
Where are you going? Please don’t leave me I need you. I love you. Ex
Its none of your business where I am going all you need to know is it is somewhere we cant interfere with each other and don’t lie. You don’t love me! –B I pressed the send button with tears streaming down my face.
Why are you being like this? Tell me let’s talk about it. I need you. And make no mistake Isabella Swan. I Love You! -E . By this point I was in tears.
Goodbye Edward. I clicked send and began to pack my bags. But I also opened my curtains so I could see into his room and he into mine. I looked over and seen the burning man in Edward.
Chapter 5
E|POV
Running to class I took my seat in English and thought about what had just happened. Then Tanya came and sat next to me and grasped my hand and began running it up and down her thigh. God I wasn’t in the mood! I may have just lost my best friend and she’s horny? Oh God just cause I wasn’t in the mood doesn’t mean HE wasn’t. Before thinking twice as soon as English was over she dragged me out to her car and began driving to my house. Before I could say anything she pulled me up to my room and flung me onto my bed before she jumped on top of me she noticed the photo of Bella and I. (T) Finally got sick of that bitch?(T) she said happily. I snapped back (E) No! So are we doing this or not? (E) And with that she jumped on top of me and we began making out. I flung her on the bed so I was on top and began devouring her. As I was getting into it I heard a small chap on the door and before I could stop I heard a pained gasp. As I climbed off of Tanya I realized I saw a flash of brown hair and knew straight away it was Bella, looking around I seen what she must have saw not only me on top of but the smashed photo of Bella and myself. Crap! I muttered under my breath. And began running to catch up with her (E) Bella, please wait im sorry!(E) I shouted at her but it was too late she was gone. I collapsed on the stairs and thought about everything, every memory I had Bella was in it and now I had lost her. I finally got back up and went back to my room where Tanya was sitting with a sour look on her face. Before she could say anything I snapped (E) Tanya! Get the hell out I really don’t want to see you. (E) She looked at me shocked. (T) You know what Edward we are over, you’re obviously in love with her. I don’t know why she is such a stupid bitch!(T) I was fuming anger, not with the fact that she had just broke up with me but at what she was calling Bella. (E) Get the hell out now (E) I roared. As soon as she had left I went over to look out my window to see if I could see Bella but her curtains were shut. Damn it! What had I done? I whipped my phone out my trousers pocket and text her.
Bella, Im sorry please let me explain. Ex
Bella was normally so quick to reply to texts but she wasn’t replying to mine. However, I was not going to give up!
B, I know your mad but please talk to me. I love you. Ex
I cringed at the last three words I knew I had no right to say that to her especially after what I was putting her through. No Reply. I decided to go around and bang on her door until she answered after about 10 minutes she still wasn’t opening it up. I began to worry. She wouldn’t do anything stupid! Would she…? I had to shake that out of my head I couldn’t stand anything happening to her.
Bella please im worried you wont answer your door talk to me!!. Ex
I needed her to reply! Was beginning to get pissed now.
Bella Swan! You better reply to my texts I need to talk to you!.Ex
She never replied so I went back to my house and when I got in my mum was waiting for me.
(M) Edward what’s wrong? You look terrible. (M) I really didn’t want to have this conversation right now. (E) Nothing Mum! Just leave me alone please! (E) before she could reply I ran up to my room and lay on my bed where I fell asleep. About an hour later I woke up to my phone beeping. I picked it up and saw there was one new message from Bella. Thank God I thought to myself.
You don’t need to be sorry! I will see you if and when I come back! Goodbye. B What? Where was she going? She couldn’t leave me I needed her! I replied as quick as my fingers would allow.
Where are you going? Please don’t leave me I need you. I love you. Ex It was true I did need her. She replied almost as soon as I had sent it.
Its none of your business where I am going all you need to know is it is somewhere we cant interfere with each other and don’t lie. You don’t love me! –B
I read all the message and the words stood out. ‘don’t lie. You don’t love me!’ with everything that was going on I was completely sure about the fact I loved her and she would know one way or another. One day.
Why are you being like this? Tell me let’s talk about it. I need you. And make no mistake Isabella Swan. I Love You! -E . By this point I was in tears. It may be hard to admit but she is the most important thing in my life. I waited for a reply and when I got it I wished I hadn’t.
Goodbye Edward.
At that moment my life came crashing down. She was serious. She was leaving. What had I done?
I sat at my desk and felt like the burning man was taking over me.
Chapter 6
B|POV
2 weeks later.
I had successfully managed to spend 2 weeks without Edward. No Talking. No Looking. No Communication! Tomorrow I would be flying to Jacksonville to spend time with my Mother for 7 weeks. I had to get away from here. Away from him. I began packing I placed clothes, my I -pod, mp3 player and laptop in my bag too. I then moved the case to the door of my room. I went over and opened the curtains so he could see me packing up my life because of him. As soon as I opened them I saw him sitting at his desk staring at my window, when he realized I had opened the curtains for the first time in weeks a small smile spread across his face. He must have thought I had forgiven him. God he was wrong. I turned and walked to my desk so that my back was to him. As much as I hated him right now I needed him to know why I left so I decided to write him a letter that Charlie could give to him once I had left.
Dear Edward, by the time you receive this letter you will know that I have left. As much as I don’t want to talk you after the past 16 years of friendship I thought I owed you this. I shall be away for seven weeks. As much as I want to say when I come back stay out of my life, I can’t because I have been keeping a big secret from you for quite a while. Im in Love with you. So there you have it, as much as I wish you feel the same way it’s evident you don’t and never will. I will see you when I come back after im over you, your my best friend and I don’t want to lose that, ever! So you can email me during the summer. And do not under any circumstances say you love me too, because it’s not fair on me. Goodbye Edward.
Bella.
I was now crying in the process of sealing the envelope. With that I lay in my bed and cried myself to sleep again. Waking up in the morning I went down and said to Charlie to give him the letter to give to Edward. I was looking out the window when arguing brought me out of my day dream. I went out to find Jacob and Edward fighting. Oh God I thought to myself. I noticed how terrible Edward looked. He looked like he had lost weight and hadn’t slept for months. I walked over and grabbed Jacobs face and began to kiss him passionately. As I broke free I turned to Edward who was close to tears. With that I said Goodbye to both Edward and Jacob and left in the car not looking back.
Chapter 7
E|POV
2 weeks. 2 god damned weeks! That’s how long it had been since I talked to her. Every time I went near her she bolted as far away from me as fast as she could. I remained in the same place I had since the night she had left. Every waking minute I would sit at the desk and gaze over at her window hoping to catch a glimpse of her. She never shut her curtains not fully at least not in the 16 years I had been best friends with her for. About 15 minutes later she opened her curtains and a large grin had spread across my face. Has she forgiven me I thought to my-self, part of me hoping this was true but the other part knowing that it would never happen? I had hurt her too much. But still I kept hoping until she turned round and sat at her desk with her back facing me. She hunched her back over and began writing. I then heard a chap at my door and since my parents weren’t in I would have to go down and answer the door when I did answer it, I wished I hadn’t it was Jacob Black. My Ex-Best friend. (E) What do you want? (E) I snapped. (J) I want to know what you done to make my girlfriend want to leave town? (J) He roared. (E) Well we both know why your dating her don’t we. And you don’t deserve her as your girlfriend! You treat her like a bloody punch bag! (E) I screamed. (J) And what do you mean by that ‘we both know why your dating her’ the answer to that would be I love her. (J) (E) we both know that the only reason you’re going out with her is because I wanted her! You told me as much! (E) I snapped. (J) And we both know the reason you didn’t. Because you didn’t think she would be easy. Well have I got news for you, she’s great absolutely great! She’s a screamer you know? (J) And with that I snapped him and Bella didn’t oh god no! Just as I was about to introduce him to my left fist Bella came running out and grabbed Jacobs face. She’s gonna slap him I thought to myself, but no she started snogging him only to break away for air. At that point I believed everything that dog had said about Bella and him and it made me sick. I could feel the tears stinging in the corner of my eyes. At that moment she broke away from him said goodbye to him. Then turned to me. Oh god what was she going to do hug me, kiss me? Sadly none of these (B) Goodbye Edward (B) and with that she was in the car waiting for Charlie. Charlie came out with an envelope and handed it to me nodding his head and then drove away. I no longer had the patience for Jacob Black; I walked into my house slamming the door shut and slouched down on my couch to read the letter.
Dear Edward, by the time you receive this letter you will know that I have left. As much as I don’t want to talk you after the past 16 years of friendship I thought I owed you this. I shall be away for seven weeks. As much as I want to say when I come back stay out of my life, I can’t because I have been keeping a big secret from you for quite a while. Im in Love with you. So there you have it, as much as I wish you feel the same way it’s evident you don’t and never will. I will see you when I come back after im over you, your my best friend and I don’t want to lose that, ever! So you can email me during the summer. And do not under any circumstances say you love me too, because it’s not fair on me. Goodbye Edward.
Bella.
I was now physically sobbing. I couldn’t control it. She was in love with me too all this time. I couldn’t handle it. I went into the kitchen and pulled out the first sharp thing I could find and took it to my wrists then everything went black…
