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The wolf clan was kinda awesome, except for the crappy animation and the fact that they're allergic to shirts.
The wolf clan was kinda awesome, except for the crappy animation and the fact that they're allergic to shirts.
Okay, I'll admit that I haven't laughed this hard at a film since I saw The Hangover last summer. Seriously, what was the plot here? I actually found the first film to be much better than this travesty. You can find my review of the first movie link. I'll go through it like I do with all movies. Pros and cons, then an overall.

Pros

The Volturi

Finally! Some ACTUAL vampires!! The Volturi I found were pretty awesome because, you know, they actually were cruel, soulless, mean, and did some actual VAMPIRING. The part towards the end where a tour group of humans is led directly to them and you hear their screams was pretty awesome. Come on people, that's what vampires do. They drink the blood of huuumans. Sheesh. Also, they were pretty cruel too, what with the whole smack down of Edward and nearly killing Bella (so bummed that didn't happen). Getting a small glimpse of the actor who will be playing Grindelwald in Deathly Hallows was a nice bonus too. So for all you Twilight fans, the Volturi are GOOD examples of vampires. Much like the soulless vampires on Buffy.

The Wolf Clan

Now why I didn't particularly enjoy the crappy computer animation of the wolves (more on that later) I did enjoy the characters of the wolf clan. The one scene that I really liked is where we see Sam's fiance, with half her face clawed up. My friend and I definitely agree that even with the claw marks she was amazingly beautiful. I would see a movie about her and Sam in a heartbeat. It would be much much better than this terrible film. Pity they were stuck in it.

Jacob

Lautner got hot. No denying that. Other than the hotness factor though, he was probably the only real character with any dimensions and depth besides Bella's father. The way their relationship built to where Jacob fell for Bella, and she pretty much for him, was very realistic and healthy. So you can imagine my dissappointment when she chose Edward, who abandoned, controlled, and basically led to much of her depression, over Jacob. You Team Jacob fans, I now consider you semi-sane because you recognized a HEALTHY relationship. Props to you guys.


Cons

Bella...you there?

I hate the character of Bella, I truly do. She doesn't think for herself, is defined solely by her relationships, and for some reason Stewart could NEVER SHUT HER MOUTH. Even when she wasn't talking!! What was up with that?! Gaah. The fact too that she dissed her friends at school and put her dad through so much crap with the screaming at night (seriously, wtf, she doesn't have PTSD) made me just loathe her character even more with a passion. Furthermore, her whole obsession over age was just ridiculous. Ohhh nooo you're a whole year older than your 107 year old vampire boyfriend!! Now he's not going to love you anymore!!! Yea, stupid. Those fans out there that idolize her, please find a healthier role model such as Eowyn, Hermione, heck even Lily on How I Met Your Mother. Bella is a very unhealthy and psychologically unstable character and is an insult to females everywhere. She didn't even drive her own car most of the time! Disgusting.

How is she special too btw?

If someone can explain how Bella is unaffected by any of the vampire's powers, it'd be much appreciated. That just seems like something that's just thrown out there. My theory? It's because Bella has no thoughts!

Edward...dude wtf?!

Sooo this guy that supposedly is totally in love with you throws you into a glass table for protection, lies to you, breaks up with you, and abandons you in the forest. A car ride home would have been nice plskthnx. Also, the throwing into the glass table for her protection? That was totally safe. You know, because she was bleeding even more profusely after the table than she was after the papercut. Also, who has ever bled that much after a papercut anyways, if at all? Furthermore, the fact that he kept "appearing" everytime Bella had an adrenaline rush was just weird. I think if my ex-boyfriend started showing up everytime I had a rush, I'd go and get a CT of my brain to make sure I didn't have a brain tumor a la Izzie seeing Denny b/c of her tumor. Also, the fact that Bella takes him right back after all the crap he put her through was just great. Really shows girls that hey, after a guy lies to you like that you can totally trust him again with no really good explanation other than "I love you". Nice.

OMG a Plot Point!!!

Annd what was the plot?? Everytime a possible plot point appeared it seemed to get derailed, such as the shots of Victoria, Laurent, or whenever anyone said Bella was acting crazy. If anyone spoke reason or a plot point appeared, it did not show again.

Lupin's Wolf Looked Better...

The film must have had the world's worst computer animation department because those wolves were a travesty. How about those transf...I mean FURSPLOSIONS eh? Really bad animation coupled with a laughable transformation sequence (FURSPLODE!) led to even more laughs. Too bad there weren't enough fursplosions.

That's What She Said!

There were way too many lines in the film where one could easily say that. For example- Bella: I'm coming! Me: That's what she said! Edward: I don't want you to come! Me: That's what HE said!! If you don't get the meaning behind that, then please go watch The Office where it is regularly utilized. Furthermore, the scene where Edward kisses Bella in front of her truck after the party was too funny. Edward acted like...well like link SNL skit. Please be forewarned that that link is meant for those 16 and older. That scene probably got one of the biggest laughs out of me.

Blocked

Finally, all the kiss-blocking that poor Jacob suffered through. Face Punch high school guy who threw up at an action movie (he's so gay then), Bella denies, and Edward calls just as he macks on the upper lip! Seriously, Jacob should have just pulled an Owen (Grey's Anatomy character), grabbed Bella, and just rocked her world. Doubt she woulda left if he did that.


Overall

Overall, this movie was a travesty to the film community. It was plotless, very poorly acted, and featured a very unhealthy set of characters that girls and women alike should not look up to as role models. Bella should have been thrown in a psych center for the stuff she was experiencing. I'm not going to apologize either if I've offended anyone. This is my honest opinion, and I know I wasn't as kind as I was in my first review. Now you've heard an opinion of an anti-Twilighter. You Team Jacobers, you got some respect from me now. Please save your brain cells and your money and do not see this movie. Unless you want a really good laugh then by all means do. Oh and one more thing to note. The ending with the whole Marry me? Ending on the *gasp* garnered a huge laugh from our audience. And just for my own satisfaction, FURSPLODE TIME!!
No plot and many opportunities for "That's what she said!" abound in this film. Also, Edward during this kiss is very reminiscent of a certain SNL skit.
No plot and many opportunities for "That's what she said!" abound in this film. Also, Edward during this kiss is very reminiscent of a certain SNL skit.
Poor Jacob kept getting blocked and denied. In the end, Bella chooses the unhealthy relationship with Edward based on looks rather than the healthy one with Jacob based on the initial strong friendship.
Poor Jacob kept getting blocked and denied. In the end, Bella chooses the unhealthy relationship with Edward based on looks rather than the healthy one with Jacob based on the initial strong friendship.
Jacob's P.O.V.

"Why are you following me, Jacob?" Leah had come to a sudden halt as she noticed me behind her. Her breathing came fast and I could hear her heart beat in double time.

"I want to find out what the hell your bloody problem is."

"You know what my problem is, Jacob." She hissed.

"Oh, do I, Leah? Do I really? Ok then, tell me what did, Renesmee ever do to you? She has never been anything less than polite to you. So, tell me, Leah, what is your problem again?" My voice became louder as I spoke. I knew me imprinting on Nessie would make me bias but she truly was a beautiful person, both...
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posted by courtneykutie
Renesmee Pov

IT's been Six years Since we have heard from the Volturi Except When My best friend Maggie and her Mate Alec,they both Changed there ways.
They have Been Living with us for 3 years know!And now Me and Maggie and Alec are starting school in Forks like everyone else did!Jacob is going to College with my Mom and Dad right now at Washington State University!Jake is my Best friend and Iam scared i like him more than that!Scary!

"So I cant wait to go shopping for new School clothes!!"I said cheerfully,Aunt alice smiled at me

"Me too!!your mother hates shopping"Aunt Alice said Laughing...
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Bellas POV

Golden eyes were starring down at me.

"Hi." I said annoyed. He perpousley bumbed into me. I knew this because he wasn't there befor, and then he was. Oh my god I was losing my mind wasn't I. I obviously bumbed into him.

I hadn't realized until now , but I dropped my books on the floor. I bent down to pick them up but then they were gone. I shot up and stood straight. I realized now that he had my books in his hands.

"Sorry, that was probably my fault." He said. "Im Edward, whats your name?"

"Bella" He handed me my books"Thanks"

"No problem. Hey I noticed that you -"

"Cullen!" Coach Karlov...
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posted by twilight_james
(Bella's POV)

'Hey Edward" I said as I walked towards the car parked outside my house. He just had to pick me up every morning, didn't he. "You know, I do have a car," i suggested jokingly. I knew what he would say
'Bella, with the bad luck that you have, I'm amazed that you can even get out of bed!"
We both smiled at this and luaghed togeather, as I hopped into the car and made it though another boring school day.

*************
(Lunch)

"Bella!" Alice said. She came over and hugegd me,"
I laughed awkwardly as I tried to free myself from her grasp. "Alice,it's only been two days," I complianed.
She...
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Peter Facinelli: Speaking Queens English
By Peter Facinelli (told to Eric Estrin)
Published: November 03, 2009

Peter Facinelli had plenty of passion and determination but not much in the way of craft when, as a stiff New Yorker with a “My Cousin Vinny” accent, he enrolled at NYU and threw himself into a drama career. Now co-starring in Showtime’s “Nurse Jackie” and heading up the Cullen vampire clan in the “Twilight” series -- his next film, “New Moon,” opens Nov. 20 -- Facinelli is a nonstop working actor with a wide range and a long resume in film and television.

He spoke...
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posted by luvrofedward
My name is Mai Bly Nashota Unega, which means coyote, white, tall, twin. It’s not an ordinary name in any sense, but it represents my Native American heritage and who I am. When I was around 11 years old, I asked my parents why they named me that, and the only reason they gave me was because it’s a family name. At that age I didn’t know how important that family name was, but two years ago, after I turned 16, I found out why.
Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I am tall, skinny, and I’m extremely tan, the envy of all my friends in my Forks High School. That’s right, I go...
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"hey bella going to a party dressing like that." alice pointed at my jeans and t-shirt
"alice its my life let me live it the way i want to live it ok"i said. i cant belive i just said that. she stared at me shocked.she started pouting."ouh!fine you can dress me up. aneways it is a halloween party." i said"iwasnt gonna tell you that you had to dress up.but good thing i did!"she said. i stared at her in shock
1 hour later
"alice!"i yelled.iwas to dolled up to go with edward.too late edward came up and looked at me as like i was famouse."bella."he said. it made me blush.
posted by twilight_james
Hey guys,
I havent been writing much but I dont think that I can finish this fanfic, so if anyone wants 2 take over send me a message.
I knwo that you guys porbably want to see this finshed so i'd thought Id give you the option!
Okay?
Thank you!
...................................................................................................................................................
.
.
Laura!


Damm these lonegr article things!!! How long doe sit have to be!!!!!!

THe rest will be pam so that I can asctully post this\


hj
hj
hjhjhjhjhgfhjdfgjhsdfvjsjkvnkjvhdjkvnsjfhsdjnsdjvhsdjknvjksdvhjksdnfvsdhfsdknhsdfsdnfsdjfhksdnfjksdvnsdjkvfhsdvfnsduivsdfjkhsjbvsdyfsdjkhcsdjkfnuksdcjskdyfjksdnvf
SORRY I MISSED DAY ONE.On Newmoonmovie.org they are reading new moon all over again.In order to help pass the time while we wait for New Moon to be released, today marks the start of a brand new feature: the New Moon Community Re-Read.

Every day, we’ll post a thread for each chapter in the book, counting down the days until the official release of the film on November 20th.

To get started, dig out your old copy of New Moon (or buy one of the swank new movie editions of the book), read the chapter together with us, and discuss anything you find of interest that you might have missed the first...
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posted by House_Of_Night_
I get people asking me this question all the time...................
Is there an Edward out there for us?

I always reply 'no', there is no such thing as a vampire for starters, but apart from that, there could be no one, as loving, as kind, as dedicated as Edward, but people belive they are guys out there, that are like Edward.

so i have decided to do a experiment. i would like ten girls plus me, to become a team and to build up a dating site, for people who are aged 12 to 16. after a month of this, we will ask all the girls who joined the site, did they find someone (a guy) who was as loving and kind and dedicated as Edward. after we find out the results, we will post them here for you!

so if anyone out there would like to help me build up a dating site and get this Experiment up and running please contact me withen 2-3 days. thanks,
please leave comments if u would join the dating site.
posted by twilight_james
hehe! edits! tell me if I forget to put ina chapter!
Chapter 5
(Carlisle’s POV)
My son came down to see me. Oh how joyful I was, at first thinking that he was going to try me way of life again. But he came with girl, a vampire from whom I knew from many years ago. Edward introduced her
“Hello, this is-“
“Jane,” I cut him off. “Nice to see you again” Edward looked mildly amazed. I guessed that Jane had either not told him about the Volturi, or that I used to be a part of it. Probably the former.
“Come in,” I said, breaking the awkward silence. Jane and Edward came and sat down.
“So...
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posted by surfergal
I layed on the deck for about ten minutes until I couldn't take it anymore, I had to see the beach. I got down by myself from the ladder. I went and put on a t-shirt and shorts and called Oakley to see if he would answer his phone. He did. I was lucky.
Hey Oak. Can you come pick me up and take me to the beach? I ask him.
Yeah sure. I'll be there soon. He said.
Cool thanks. Bye. I said.
I went and told mom and dad that Oakley was taking me to the beach. Dad told me not to get my cast wet and not to get any sand down in it. I said I wouldn't and I figured that would be hard to do but I didn't...
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My name is Samantha, I'm 16 years old and I live in a small town called Coconut Grove, Florida. My family and I moved here from Forks, Washington when we were just little kids. Meaning my twin brother and I. My twin's name is Oakley, he has really dark skin like my dad and blonde hair like my mom. My dad tells me that I look just like my mom, blond hair and blue eyes. My hair is natural I have nevered dyied it at all. I don't really have that many friends and the ones I do have are guys. Girls here in my town don't like to surf all the like to do is lay out in bikinis and boy watch. Okay, I...
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posted by joe-edwardfan
Chapter 16
200 years later
Me and matt traveled the world and had a great time we even met some other covens like the irish coven,the romanian coven and the amazon coven we lived with them for 49 years and then took off cause it was getting kind of boring we went to paris and lived there for a cuppel off years then we went to new york,spain,egypt,germany,china,italy we even met the voltury they werent that nice! But kind of kreepy, specialy there hoods!but then we went back to london.
I got off the bed and got dressed matt was sitting on the couch reading a news paper and watching t.v
-what are...
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posted by kim4312
Chapter Two:Secrets
Jessi Was Sleeping & Has a Dream Of Victoria & James, Jessi Starts Screaming In Her Sleep, Jacob Ran Into The Room & Try To Wake Her, Jessi Wakes Up Holding Jacob Tightly, She Blushes When She Realize He Didn't Have a Shirt On, She Lets Him Go & Blushes On How Handsome He Is, He Stares At Her Eyes "What Happend Jess?" Jacob Asks Her In Concren In His Voice, "I Just Have a Nightmare" Jessi Says With Fear In Her Voice, Jacob Stares At Her Eyes & She Stares At His "I Was Scared" Jacob Says "You Were?" Jessi Asks With a Shock In Her Voice "Yes, I Thought You...
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posted by gossipgirlstar2
Taylor, we love you and your muscles but frankly we have been missing our leading man in the media over the past month. As Taylor stepped up to the media spotlight, Robert Pattinson hid waiting in the wings for his moment. Today is his day to shine and with a new cover in British magzine AnOtherMan and Rob has been greatly missed.

Rob Soundbites from AnOtherMan Magazine Out Oct 1st:

“Annoyingly, there are so few parts I feel I can add anything to, or that I want to do.”
“I don’t want to be an actor for the sake of it. I don’t find any particular pleasure in being an attention-seeker.”...
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posted by lollipopszx3
A Way to Spend My Birthday

"Where are you going mommy?" asked a six year old Bella.

"Out." she said sadly. She has been really sad lately since daddy took a visit to her friend. "Okay. When are you going to be back?"

"Not for a while. You will come visit me one day. Jennette with take care of you for a while."


That was the last memory I had of my mother. I never really understood what she meant by out. Not until now.

As I read this letter tears were pouring restlessly down my cheeks.

"Dear Bella,

If you are reading this letter this means you've turned 18. I loved you very much but when your daddy...
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. Stories

This had to be the funniest thing in the world. Jacob cooking. He was trying to help with dinner, Chicken Alfrado, but failed miserably and nearly burnt the Pasta. Nicole kicked him out of the kitchen and made him talk to me.

He asked about work. I didn’t tell him about Alice, or Jasper, but after that, he remembered something.

“Leah wants to take you to a movie she was thinking it today,” he paused I already new what he was going to say, while we were running patrol. “She’ll call you.” He smiled, giving me my hope I crave.

After Nicole fixed the pasta, we ate while the...
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Ok Readers so this chapter has to be done in Jacobs POV you’ll see why when you read it. I am doing it like this because the is a secrete that you have to know ok. So yeah this is just a before Bella gets pulled over I don't want to spoil it but just think of when she got pulled. Enjoy.
Geva Taylor Hale



5. Secretes

JACOB BLACK

Jacob, Wait for me! Do not act on your own, I will be the in a minute. Do not take action. Sam told me I didn’t change my stances. I was ready I just need one false move then I had them all.

I looked Sam was here. I may be Alpha but I do not care far the treaty the...
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posted by anna0789
im going to write 3 and 4 tomorrow hope you are liking them


i took a big step back
"how do you know about us" i blonde girl ask furiously she was stunningly beautiful even now that her features were in a murderous glance

"And what are you i can't read your thoughts ...." a boy with tousled bronze hair said with a frustrated look in his face
he was even more beautiful and perfect than the blonde girl
So this had to be edward (the perfect man)and the blonde one was she Alice?? no no rose rosaline i think

"yes i am human edward ,and i just happen to know about what you are rose" i said smugly

o...
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