At that moment, I realized that I had a shread of hope. I hadn't mean to let myself have it, yet there it was, betraying me and causing me unimaginable pain in the long run. Hope that what I dreamed of could happen. Hope that if I were fast and strong he couldn't run from me. And if I were beautiful and graceful...he wouldn't want to run. That I could find Alice. I missed her so much.
Those thoughts made it feel like I was puring acid on my wounds. My chest thrubbed. There shouldn't be any hope that I was holding onto. Because there was no hope. But I was about to die, I reminded my self. My suffering would end soon. That did make me feel a bit better. Knowing that relief was in sight.
"I'm afraid not, Bella." He told me.
I started shaking. But not because of his words, however terrifying they were. I began to shake with terror because as he was saying this, distracted and oblivious, a black animal the size of a horse but much more muscular, walked out from the shade of the trees to my right. A mere ten feet away. "Don't move an inch," Edward's voice whispered.
I looked back at Laurant. He was aware of the beast now, of that I was sure. Though he hadn't moved. his weight was shifted away, his expression...frightened? This had to be the bear everyone had been seeing around town. But it wasn't a bear at all. I could see that the shape was distinctly canine, but I just couldn't put a word to it at first. I could think of only one possibility. But how could a wolf get that big?
The animal snarled, and Laurant whipped his head around to face them. He began backing away to the edge of the trees, and under the freezing terror, confusion swept through me. Why was Laurant retreating? Granted, it was monsterous in size, but it was still just an animal. What reason would a vampire have for fearing an animal? And Laurant was afraid. His eyes were wide with horror, just like mine.
As if to answer my question, suddenly the mammoth wolf was not alone. Flanking it on either side, another two gigantic beasts prowled silently into the meadow. One was deep gray, the other brown, neither one quite as tall as the first. The gray wolf came in through the trees a few feet from me, it's eyes locked on Laurant.
Before I could even react, two more wolves followed, lined up in a V, like geese flying south. Which meant that the rusty brown monster that shrugged through the brush last was close enough for me to touch.
I gave an involuntary gsap and jumped back-which was the stupidest thing I could have done. I waited for the wolves to turn on me, the much weaker of the available prey. I wished that Laurant would just hurry up and crush the wolf pack. It would be simple for him. Betwen the two options I had, being eaten by wolves was almost certainly worse than by a vampire.
The wolf closest to me, the reddish brown one, turned it's head at the sound of my gasp. The wolf's eyes were dark, nearly black. I was terrified. The way it looked at me...with those deep eyes that seemed too inteligent for an animal. The anger burning in them was nearly tangable. I thought I was going to die right then.
Edward's name broke through all my barriers in that moment. Edward, Edward, Edward.
Edward, I love you. I thought, closing my eyes.
But a moment later I heard a snarl from further away, not the wolf closest to me. I opened my eyes a crack in disbelief that I was still alive. The wolf closest to me huffed and looked back toward Laurant.
I, too, looked back toward him, without moving my head, as o keep the wolves in my vision. I was stunned when, without warning, Laurant turned and disappeared into the trees.
He ran away.

The wolves ran after him a moment later, snarling growling and snapping their jaws so loudly that I had to cover my ears. The sound faded with suprising swiftness as they disappeared into the woods.
I was shocked. Beyond shocked, I couldn't believe my eyes. Why had Laurant run from overgrown dogs?
But I only thought about that for a moment before my situation hit me like a wrecking ball.
I was alive. Alive...
I fell to the ground, unable to control my sobbing, and curled into a ball. And started screaming. Like I was having another nightmare. Only this was worse, because I wasn't going to wake up from this.
I hadn't realized how much I had been counting on death to save me from this pain. I had thought that it wouldn't matter that I'd made the most forbidden of all wishes, because it wouldn't matter soon. But now here I was. Again. Still human, still alone. Still unwanted, and uncared for, pathetic and weak and human. And now what was I to do? Go back to the way my life was before? Pretend nothing happened? That didn't feel possible. Not anymore. No one could help me. Not Renee or Charlie, or even Jacob. No one could lessen this pain.