As she lay there sleeping, holding on to my finger showing me all the amazing things that run threw her mind at night, I couldn’t help but wince when I saw the image of her and my best friend Jacob holding hands and walking along La Push beach. I’ve relished in the fact that Jacob could be in my life and also a part of hers but the image bothered me due to the sheer fact that what she portrayed seemed different in my eyes all I could see was me and Jake, how we used to be back in the days of my sickening and painful depression caused by Edwards absence. I used to describe Jake as my sunshine and he was what radiated my life when it was nothing. He brought me back to life when I thought that I would remain this shell of a girl who used to love and care but was hollow. It hurt when I think about how much I have hurt him in the past constantly rejecting all that he wanted, but allowing him to love Renesmee seemed the only way I couldn’t compensate for that, she was now his best friend, his sunshine, his love and his world. All the things that I used to be and embarrassingly I miss being that significant part of his life I miss being his love. The close intimate moments we has shared were special and I craved them more than ever now.
Seeing the repeated image of nessie and Jake being as one began to annoy and irritate me for reasons that I don’t particularly understand or maybe I just didn’t want to face them, either way I decided to leave nessie for the night. Being a vampire has its perks one of them being you don’t have to sleep, and so at four in the morning I headed toward the house of my extended family . Running through the forest was exuberant it felt good to flex the powers I rarely used since becoming a newborn. The wind in the face cleared my mind and I began to think clearly, the feelings I was feeling were just simply my missing Edward, he was hunting with his father Carlisle they had been gone for 4 days now handling a bear problem in the Alaskan mountains. I feel uneasy and lonely when Edward is not around and this is surely the reason why I am pining for Jake my second love after Edward and Nessie. Within seconds I had cleared acres of forests and was at the my in-laws.
From the outside the Cullen house looked neutral and ordinary, but to people who knew it was a house that held 6 vampires who hunted and thirsted for human blood but pushed aside this desire so that they could live as normal life as possible. The minute I walked in my anxieties and worries stopped and with a sincere look from Jasper I knew why, his mood control talent came in handy in times like this. This house is one of the only places that we could be our true selves the vampires what we are. We could run fast, jump high, sparkle when the sun shines upon our skin and be proud to be what we are and not fear anyone exposing us. Vampires don’t get tired ; well that’s what I have been told but I cant help but feel this urge to relax and just separate myself from the world. My endless thoughts went on and on and on until something caught my attention, my nose burned and my heart did the same when the smell indicated who was here..... JAKE!!!.

Without a second thought I sprang to the door and landed in a crouch in front of him, by the look on his face he wasn’t impressed. When Jake can ignore my scent, he still sees me as his Bella, he hasn’t taken well to my becoming immortal, he feels uncomfortable around me when I act so obviously like a vampire. I arose rapidly from the crouch and rapped my arms around him, suddenly realising what I had done I realised him. His face told a detailed account of how he felt about my random embrace, he was confused and thoroughly repulsed. He composed the look on his face and to my delight he smiled. Jake had the type of smile that lights a room and causes people to melt in his presence. Due to the amount of time I had spent with Jake I had recognised his many smiles and he was wearing my favourite right now; his innocent, excited, puppy dog smile, my smile the smile that brings back the hazy human memories of when we would sit fixing the rabbit and laugh and giggle simply because we wanted to. The smile was back and it was for me, he wasn’t repulsed just shocked at my sudden fondness of him. I had approximately about 7 second of euphoria until he brought me back with a crash and shattered my sudden happiness.
“ umm hi Bella where is nessie I have missed her like crazy”. The revelation was instant he wasn’t smiling because of I was here or because I was happy to see him. He was smiling because he knew that he would soon he Nessie. The smile wasn’t mine anymore it was Nessies. I shouldn’t feel jealous and bitter over my own daughter, but still I felt like he was being taken away from me. Even “my” smile was now Nessies. I hung my head and answered him bleakly...
“she is sleeping Jake, I don’t want wake her up”. I thought he would be angry but his face never changed. He still remained unphased from what I had said. He just shrugged his shoulders and replied.
“no problem, I wouldn’t want to wake her up but I watch her sleep”. I couldn’t say no to that he was now pleading with me and it would make Nessie happy to have Jake there when she wakes up. He seems to radiate and brighten he life as much as he did mine.
“ I guess so Jake, lets head there now. I don’t want her to wake up alone”. Although I am perfectly comfortable with her waking up alone, I just wanted to get away from probing eyes of the family. We walked casually out of the house until Jake lunged into the drive and began to stride. He paused half way down the drive and looked at me with eyes full of curiosity. “what wrong Bells” to my delight he was concerned I could see it in his eyes, I haven’t felt like he cares about me for such a long time that for him just to show in interest is enough for me. I smiled at him, I could see by the look on his face that he sensed the edge to my smile. I swallowed my pride and opened up to him. “Jake the only thing I miss about being human is you and the time we spent together , so when I am with you I like to just go back to being human for a while”. His expressions where that of someone who had been told great news he smiled at me again and this time it really was my smile not Nessies the edges of his mouth were touching his ears. “Bella, I thought I had lost you forever, you haven’t been the same since the change, but you are back and as awkward as ever!. Have I got my best friend back?” He asked that question with such hope that I couldn’t disappoint him and say no. I am not the same person that I used to be but maybe I could get pretty close. “Jake for a while now I have felt that we are not the same as we used to be, you were my best friend and I love you dearly but I can’t help thinking that I have been replaced by my own daughter”. Jakes eyes narrowed and glistened with anger. My breathe stopped I couldn’t bear to think of him being mad at me, I must have sounded pathetic. Jealous over my own 5 year old daughter I should be ashamed. No soon after that thought did his face change again, he brought his hands up against his face and hid in them. “Bella no one could ever replace you how could you ever think that, you are still my world and I love you but in the right way now the way you have always wanted it to be. Nessie is my everything yes I admit it but so are you, I couldn’t live without either of you. Bella you can share your love I can share mine”. If my heart still worked it would have stopped. I had been blind to everything that was going on. Jake was now exactly who I wanted him to be he was my best friend and I have to share him but who better to share him with than my daughter. Two people I love dearly making each other happy is the best thing that could have happened. I was blessed. I had been blinded by the simplicity of the situation things just don’t go right for me so now that things were I had to find a mistake and there wasn’t one. He walked over to me with a gentle stride and intertwined my hand with his, the warmth felt good. He placed my hand against his mouth and kissed it gently. I could hear his heartbeat change, it had gone from a hard thudding to a gentle thrum. “you see Bells you make me feel content and normal. My heart doesn’t beat erratically and it doesn’t stop it returns its self back to the way it should be because this; us two being in each other’s lives is exactly the way it should be”. I found myself smiling at his effortlessly, it happened with such ease the way it did when we were just two human teens and loved spending time together. We walked at a very human pace talking and laughing about completely ridiculous things but I loved it.

I could hear Renesmee gentle thrum as we got closer and closer to the cottage and I also noticed something different. The smell was one that I recognised in an instant. I walked into the cottage and my head span just at the sight of my beautiful Husband. He draped over Renesmees crib with her tiny, plump snow white hand placed against his cheek. His eyes were closed and he smiled gently. He was so caught up in Nessies dream as he always is that he didn’t notice us come in. To speak and catch his attention would only ruin the serenity of the moment. I lifted the shield that protected my thoughts from Edward and spoke the words “welcome home, but we have guests” gently in my mind. Edwards eyes opened slowly he looked like he had woken to a night’s sleep. He looked at both me and Jacob and smiled a honest smile that no one could imitate. He must have read Jakes thoughts as he then stood and held out Renesmees hand out to him, Jake turned towards me and kissed me softly on the forehead and placed his warm hand under my chin and smiled. I blinked out of sheer habit and he was at Renesmees side watching her dream. With a second blink Edward arms were wrapped around my waist holding me close to him and rocking from side to side. This right now was where I wanted to be Jake happy and content, my daughter sleeping in peace and protected in every way and Edward and I with each other and knowig that this scene would go on forever. Heaven