The moment I left Bella, I've been hurting. This pain is like nothing I've felt before. Not having her overwelming scent that scorched my throat and cleared my stone lungs by me.
I booked a hotel room in Italy. Close to the Volturi. The days I was away from Bella felt empty and lifeless as they were before she came along. Yet, still, there were points of reason to stay alive. In this ink pool of life that hangs above our heads. I see shining points of reason to keep my pressence on this Earth. At this very moment, Bella is with Jacob. That stupid mutt. Deceasing him would lead Bella in the wrong dicrection. She'd think of me as selfish, cold-blooded, and worst of all a true.. Monster. Murdering the boy would lead to her wounds that would grow deeper, she'd long for the boy to be next to her.. as a friend, I'd hoped. If I had killed the boy, that would mentally kill Bella. Her pain is my pain. Yet, for this boy I only felt anger. The pain he caused her by being so close and caring. He confused her. She fell for myself and the boy.
I can't bring myself to regret the long lost `thank you` I wish to give him for keeping my Bella safe. He was indeed a good friend. But, the problem was he wanted Bella for something more than a friend. I wonder if Bella is feeling that way twords him right now... It pains me to think about it. I'd found a new emotion by meeting Bella.
Jealousy.
Jealousy was a painful emotion. It was filled wih sorrow and rage. I couldn't believe that she'd triggered this... long forbidden feeling I'd buried deep within me.
The phone rang.
I ran to it with inhuman speed, picked it up gracefully then listened to the voice speaking.
"Edward.."
It was Rosealie.
"What is it?" I questioned, pulling my brows together and pressing my lips together, As if this were eargent news.
"Alice, she had vision..Edward I'm so sorry..Alice saw Bella jump. She jumped off a cliff very high up. Alice said she saw her black-out then drift deeper into the water... No one thinks she'll live Edward.. I'm sorry..."
I dropped the phone.
No... no... This can't happen.. This isn't happening...
A voice other than my own shifted into my head.
Bella.
She said quietly--`Why did you leave me, Edward? Am I not good enough for you? You wish for me to not come along. Then I won't. I draw the line here.`
I fall back into the old fashioned arm chair behind me. My head falls into my hands and I hunch over, putting my elbows on my thighs. I softly say aloud in the velvet voice that had used to dazzle Bella..
"Why, Bella? Why didn't you think that it was all an act... I would never leave you... Please.. Don't do this..no...Bella.."