A.k.a. 10 ways to get yourself killed.
10: Sign him up for anger management.
…no one can deny he doesn’t need it
9: “Accidentally” sign him up for an Edward fan club. Force him to go to every single meeting.
8: Force him to play a game with you that you invented. Change the rules every 5 seconds so he loses.
7: Show him those love letters “Victoria” sent Edward.
6: Tell him Victoria likes men who wear tutus. Buy him one; get all offended when he doesn’t wear it. Start crying and don’t stop until he puts it on. Video tape him in it and send it to the Cullens’, the Volturi, the Quileutes, Victoria, etc.
5: Chase him around with garlic. Get Jacob Black to help.
4: lock him in a room with Edward, Jacob, Mike, etc and before you leave remind them about how James wanted to murder Bella. Watch the fun!
3: Give him a camera with no casette in it to film Bella in the ballet-studio.
2: Force him to read about his death in Twilight. Cry and then laugh under your breath. Make sure he hears both.
1: When he is making his evil plans to get Bella, randomly say things under your breath like “That’s not going to work!” or “You’re funeral”, or “A piece of cheese could come up with a plan more cunning than that.”
10: Sign him up for anger management.
…no one can deny he doesn’t need it
9: “Accidentally” sign him up for an Edward fan club. Force him to go to every single meeting.
8: Force him to play a game with you that you invented. Change the rules every 5 seconds so he loses.
7: Show him those love letters “Victoria” sent Edward.
6: Tell him Victoria likes men who wear tutus. Buy him one; get all offended when he doesn’t wear it. Start crying and don’t stop until he puts it on. Video tape him in it and send it to the Cullens’, the Volturi, the Quileutes, Victoria, etc.
5: Chase him around with garlic. Get Jacob Black to help.
4: lock him in a room with Edward, Jacob, Mike, etc and before you leave remind them about how James wanted to murder Bella. Watch the fun!
3: Give him a camera with no casette in it to film Bella in the ballet-studio.
2: Force him to read about his death in Twilight. Cry and then laugh under your breath. Make sure he hears both.
1: When he is making his evil plans to get Bella, randomly say things under your breath like “That’s not going to work!” or “You’re funeral”, or “A piece of cheese could come up with a plan more cunning than that.”
10. Beg him not to eat you.
9. Inform him that he seems to be the “depressed” Cullen.
8. Go up to him, look him in the eye and ask if he is hungry.
7. Spell his name with two “a”’s (Jaspar) and call him Jaspar Cullen. When he objects, saying his name is Jasper Hale, wave your hand at him and tell him all that blood must have gone to his brain.
6. Tell him only girls feel emotions. Then giggle and run away.
5. Dress up in a cape and fangs and leap out in front of him when he is least expecting it, proclaiming you have come to suck his blood.
4. Send out waves of lust and see how he reacts.
3. When he gets too close made your fingers into the sign of the cross and cry, “The power of Christ compels you!”.
2. Splatter red paint all over his and Alice’s room and videotape his reaction.
And the Number One way to annoy Jasper Hale?
1. Whenever he says anything, snap to attention, shout “Sir, yes sir!” and salute, army style.
9. Inform him that he seems to be the “depressed” Cullen.
8. Go up to him, look him in the eye and ask if he is hungry.
7. Spell his name with two “a”’s (Jaspar) and call him Jaspar Cullen. When he objects, saying his name is Jasper Hale, wave your hand at him and tell him all that blood must have gone to his brain.
6. Tell him only girls feel emotions. Then giggle and run away.
5. Dress up in a cape and fangs and leap out in front of him when he is least expecting it, proclaiming you have come to suck his blood.
4. Send out waves of lust and see how he reacts.
3. When he gets too close made your fingers into the sign of the cross and cry, “The power of Christ compels you!”.
2. Splatter red paint all over his and Alice’s room and videotape his reaction.
And the Number One way to annoy Jasper Hale?
1. Whenever he says anything, snap to attention, shout “Sir, yes sir!” and salute, army style.