I recently read an post from Twilight widower on Twilight Widowers Anonymous( it's a support site for husbands, boyfriends and life partners of Twilight addicts). It cracked me up and i want to share it with you.
Onward and Upward
Firstly, please accept my apologies for the incredibly tardy post. As you can imagine, since
the photos of Robert Pattinson standing shirtless in Italy were released, it has been very difficult for me to get near the computer.
(I thought I could sneak a post in earlier this week, but then - alas - the New Moon trailer came out. Add to that the particularly fine weather we've been having in Vancouver lately, and you can perhaps forgive me for my lapse.)
It was, in fact, the release of the infamous "shirtless photos" that finally tipped me off to some peculiar behaviour my wife had been exhibiting for some time now.
Shortly after the "shirtless pictures" went online, my wife just happened to stop by the local sporting goods store and brought home a set of weights.
"Well, it's summer soon," she said, by way of explanation. "You want to look good for the beach, don't you?" she asked innocently, in between replays of the animated shirtless vid on YouTube.
I became suspicious.
Was I being groomed to look like Edward Cullen?
This wasn't the first time this had happened. Up until a few weeks ago I wouldn’t have guessed how many brands of glitter body paint there are. And I remembered an odd conversation we had a while ago over the dinner table:
"Stare at me."
"What?"
"Stare at me like you want to eat me."
I frowned. She waited patiently.
"No. That just looks constipated."
It's easy to tell if you're being groomed to look like Pretty McSparkle. Pay close attention to your wife's behaviour and you'll soon picked up the pattern:
1. Random gifts of hair gel ("Try putting your hair up for a change, honey.")
2. Signing you up for piano lessons ("You said you wanted a new hobby.")
3. An unusual interest in your skin care routine ("The UV index is too high. here, wear this SPF 50 sunblock. And a hat. And cover your arms up.")
4. Your wardrobe has taken a decidedly… vintage look lately (“It's what all the guys are wearing now, trust me.”)
Honey? Why can't I wear shorts to the beach?
5. You are certain she keeps calling you by a different name (“No, you misheard me… I said “I love you, onward!”)
6. She makes you stand out in the cold for a half-hour before letting you come to bed (“It’ll tighten your pores”)
It may be paranoia on our part, I admit. But just remember, when she pages you at work and you hear “phone call for Mr. Cullen,” odds are it isn’t just a slip on her part…
A good post huuh?
Here's the link to the page if you want to read some more link
Onward and Upward
Firstly, please accept my apologies for the incredibly tardy post. As you can imagine, since
the photos of Robert Pattinson standing shirtless in Italy were released, it has been very difficult for me to get near the computer.
(I thought I could sneak a post in earlier this week, but then - alas - the New Moon trailer came out. Add to that the particularly fine weather we've been having in Vancouver lately, and you can perhaps forgive me for my lapse.)
It was, in fact, the release of the infamous "shirtless photos" that finally tipped me off to some peculiar behaviour my wife had been exhibiting for some time now.
Shortly after the "shirtless pictures" went online, my wife just happened to stop by the local sporting goods store and brought home a set of weights.
"Well, it's summer soon," she said, by way of explanation. "You want to look good for the beach, don't you?" she asked innocently, in between replays of the animated shirtless vid on YouTube.
I became suspicious.
Was I being groomed to look like Edward Cullen?
This wasn't the first time this had happened. Up until a few weeks ago I wouldn’t have guessed how many brands of glitter body paint there are. And I remembered an odd conversation we had a while ago over the dinner table:
"Stare at me."
"What?"
"Stare at me like you want to eat me."
I frowned. She waited patiently.
"No. That just looks constipated."
It's easy to tell if you're being groomed to look like Pretty McSparkle. Pay close attention to your wife's behaviour and you'll soon picked up the pattern:
1. Random gifts of hair gel ("Try putting your hair up for a change, honey.")
2. Signing you up for piano lessons ("You said you wanted a new hobby.")
3. An unusual interest in your skin care routine ("The UV index is too high. here, wear this SPF 50 sunblock. And a hat. And cover your arms up.")
4. Your wardrobe has taken a decidedly… vintage look lately (“It's what all the guys are wearing now, trust me.”)
Honey? Why can't I wear shorts to the beach?
5. You are certain she keeps calling you by a different name (“No, you misheard me… I said “I love you, onward!”)
6. She makes you stand out in the cold for a half-hour before letting you come to bed (“It’ll tighten your pores”)
It may be paranoia on our part, I admit. But just remember, when she pages you at work and you hear “phone call for Mr. Cullen,” odds are it isn’t just a slip on her part…
A good post huuh?
Here's the link to the page if you want to read some more link
Hey,
Sorry i haven't wrote in a while it's just that i think people dont like my stories and i dont want to write things for no reason.
I just think it's better this way and i might start again but dont count on it. i know you guys are gonna be mad but i dont think that i'm gonna write anymore cause i'm not any good:(
Sorry again!!
If you want you can give me ideas that you have and ill make a story for you but thats 'bout the only way that i'll be writing stories.
Sorry,
Bella_Cullen902
Sorry i haven't wrote in a while it's just that i think people dont like my stories and i dont want to write things for no reason.
I just think it's better this way and i might start again but dont count on it. i know you guys are gonna be mad but i dont think that i'm gonna write anymore cause i'm not any good:(
Sorry again!!
If you want you can give me ideas that you have and ill make a story for you but thats 'bout the only way that i'll be writing stories.
Sorry,
Bella_Cullen902
Last one for today. ^_^
Jasper's Pov
"What's wrong Alice?"
Alice looked as if she were faint or something.
"Nothing is of the matter, I mean...nothing is...well
nothing is wrong okay?"
I really can't trust her sometimes, so I went to Edward.
"Edward, what is Alice thinking?"
"Why would I want to help you?! You tortured me once already!"
"Please! Just tell me what she is thinking!"
"I don't think I should tell them or should I? If someone is controllong Esme, where is this person-"
"Someone is controlling ESME!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" Edward shouted.
Then, everyone looked at Alice, Edward, and Esme's purple marking.
Jasper's Pov
"What's wrong Alice?"
Alice looked as if she were faint or something.
"Nothing is of the matter, I mean...nothing is...well
nothing is wrong okay?"
I really can't trust her sometimes, so I went to Edward.
"Edward, what is Alice thinking?"
"Why would I want to help you?! You tortured me once already!"
"Please! Just tell me what she is thinking!"
"I don't think I should tell them or should I? If someone is controllong Esme, where is this person-"
"Someone is controlling ESME!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" Edward shouted.
Then, everyone looked at Alice, Edward, and Esme's purple marking.
This was short for a reason. CLIFFHANGER!!! hehehehehe......
Bella's Pov
I never thought I would lose my family like that. I never would
have thought I put them in so much danger. Especially
my poor Renesmee!!! (sobs)
"WHY!!!!!!!!?????????" I shouted as loud as I could.
Then I started to think, what if I never see them again?
Do I have to marry Jasper to get my family out?
ARE THEY OKAY?!
Then I snapped myself out of that subject.
There are three possible ways of getting my family back to safety.
1: Marry Jasper
2: Get the spell out of Jasper
3: Find a way to find my family then snap my family out of the spell,
then get Jasper out of it and then, fight him if we have to.
I now know what to do.
Then, I went back to the dark black castle to fight Jasper and whoever
the man is...
Bella's Pov
I never thought I would lose my family like that. I never would
have thought I put them in so much danger. Especially
my poor Renesmee!!! (sobs)
"WHY!!!!!!!!?????????" I shouted as loud as I could.
Then I started to think, what if I never see them again?
Do I have to marry Jasper to get my family out?
ARE THEY OKAY?!
Then I snapped myself out of that subject.
There are three possible ways of getting my family back to safety.
1: Marry Jasper
2: Get the spell out of Jasper
3: Find a way to find my family then snap my family out of the spell,
then get Jasper out of it and then, fight him if we have to.
I now know what to do.
Then, I went back to the dark black castle to fight Jasper and whoever
the man is...
I confuse Sunrise with
the Twilight
A Start Ends
an ending begins
She changed my life
my dead heartbeat
my frozen heart
She made them Hers
with her sweet flying heartbeat,
her honey gaze
she makes me love Her face
and the moonlight does not compare Her
I want her Forever
not to move on
to stay here, in the
Dead Moonlight
But I Can't
the sunrise came
and we have no choice back
P.S this time i tried as hard as i could!i work it from the morning!i hope you like it!it is a bit sad but it is the best i can do!
the Twilight
A Start Ends
an ending begins
She changed my life
my dead heartbeat
my frozen heart
She made them Hers
with her sweet flying heartbeat,
her honey gaze
she makes me love Her face
and the moonlight does not compare Her
I want her Forever
not to move on
to stay here, in the
Dead Moonlight
But I Can't
the sunrise came
and we have no choice back
P.S this time i tried as hard as i could!i work it from the morning!i hope you like it!it is a bit sad but it is the best i can do!
EDWARD'S PEA COAT
''Everybody wants to know where his pea coat came from!'' exclaims the costumer. Unfortunately, it is a one-of-a-kind piece (er, sort of: three to four were made for filming purposes) which Chuck herself crafted after not being able to find the perfect one. ''We needed the right fit, [and] I couldn't find anything in the right shade of gray,'' she recalls. ''Catherine [Hardwicke, the director] is really big on back story for her characters and anything that can help that, even if it's in a texture or color of clothes.'' After considering ''probably 20 swatches,'' Chuck went with one from Mood Fabrics and based her final design on a combination of other styles of pea coats. In the end, his turned out as ''a classic shape with a modern twist.''
''Everybody wants to know where his pea coat came from!'' exclaims the costumer. Unfortunately, it is a one-of-a-kind piece (er, sort of: three to four were made for filming purposes) which Chuck herself crafted after not being able to find the perfect one. ''We needed the right fit, [and] I couldn't find anything in the right shade of gray,'' she recalls. ''Catherine [Hardwicke, the director] is really big on back story for her characters and anything that can help that, even if it's in a texture or color of clothes.'' After considering ''probably 20 swatches,'' Chuck went with one from Mood Fabrics and based her final design on a combination of other styles of pea coats. In the end, his turned out as ''a classic shape with a modern twist.''
You are my life sence
before you, my life was
a story without tense
yOU are the sweetest dream,
my nigh't's lullaby,
my only dream.
my only heartbeat
Bels,your sweet gaze
Cuts like a knife into the haze
I’d let you push me, make me frown
coz you are the most important thing
Your force of will now made unbound
YOUr chocolate eyes,
can take me higher,
you are the rason for me
you are my light in the twilight
my light love
p.s : hey guys!i like very much writing but i don't be a good poet!don't be mean with me!i hope you like it!
before you, my life was
a story without tense
yOU are the sweetest dream,
my nigh't's lullaby,
my only dream.
my only heartbeat
Bels,your sweet gaze
Cuts like a knife into the haze
I’d let you push me, make me frown
coz you are the most important thing
Your force of will now made unbound
YOUr chocolate eyes,
can take me higher,
you are the rason for me
you are my light in the twilight
my light love
p.s : hey guys!i like very much writing but i don't be a good poet!don't be mean with me!i hope you like it!
The Couples
Edward and Bella
Alice and Jasper
Emmett and Rosalie
Carlisle and Esme
Ashley and Kevin
Sonny and Joe
Selena and Nick
Lily and Mitchell
The first chapter will be posted soon.
PPPPPLLLLLEEEEEAAAAASSSSSEEEEE CCCCCCOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMEEEEENNNNNTTTTT AAAAANNNNNDDDDD RRRRRAAAAATTTTTEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
please I know the trailor is long but it is finished.It had a lot of complications that I wanted to explain so you understood what was happening .Please tell me if you think it is good.
Edward and Bella
Alice and Jasper
Emmett and Rosalie
Carlisle and Esme
Ashley and Kevin
Sonny and Joe
Selena and Nick
Lily and Mitchell
The first chapter will be posted soon.
PPPPPLLLLLEEEEEAAAAASSSSSEEEEE CCCCCCOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMEEEEENNNNNTTTTT AAAAANNNNNDDDDD RRRRRAAAAATTTTTEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
please I know the trailor is long but it is finished.It had a lot of complications that I wanted to explain so you understood what was happening .Please tell me if you think it is good.