hey guys, i was sooooo bored with study, that i wrote some more :) its still short but i was starting to feel guilty for ignoring my studies.
enjoy!!
If she wanted me to leave, I would have no choice but to. I couldn’t deny anything to the beautiful creature in my arms. Even if it killed me to leave I still would, if that was what she wanted.
It was time to confront her. I needed to know, but I was dreading the answer.
“Yesterday, when I would touch you, you were so... hesitant, so careful, and yet still the same.” Still perfect in every way, I wanted to add, but I resisted, wary of what she would say. “I need to know why.” I went on staring into the depths of her melting brown eyes, so deep I could get lost in them.
“Is it because I’m too late? Because I’ve hurt you too much? Because you have moved on, as I meant for you to? That would be... quite fair.” Even if it was unbearably painful. “I won’t contest your decision. So don’t try to spare my feelings, please—” Because that would be so Bella. Denying me the truth to spare me pain. “-just tell me now whether or not you can still love me, after everything I’ve done to you. Can you?” I whispered now, nervous of her answer.
The frown was back again, and her answer was not what I expected.
“What kind of idiotic question is that?” she demanded, looking right back at me.
I wanted to sigh by I held it back, now wasn’t the time.
“Just answer it. Please.” I added to the end, making my tone softer.
She stared darkly at me for a long moment, each second building the tension inside me.
“The way I feel about you will never change. Of course I love you—and there’s nothing you can do about it!” she stated, and relief flooded through me, making me giddy. All the time I had spent worrying, pointless.
“That’s all I needed to hear.” I spoke lovingly, and before she could react, I leant in and pressed my lips to hers.
It was like an electric current was passing though me, originating from her warm lips before spreading throughout my entire body. I could feel her warm body touching mine, and it was all I could do to remind myself to be careful. Her heart was beating at double time, the sound loud in my ears. I vaguely noticed she was holding her breath and I moved away from her for two seconds so she could get her breath back. The seconds our lips were apart, I whispered her name, and she pulled herself closer to me. I ran my fingers through her hair and stroked her face as she did the same. Instead of stroking, she knotting her fingers into my hair, refusing to let go.
I wanted to live in this moment forever, with her secure and safe in my arms, every line of her body matching mine, with her warm hands shaping themselves to my cheek.
The hole in my chest that came with her absence was all but a distant memory in this moment, this perfect moment. I didn’t want to pull away but her breathing was coming in jagged bursts, her heart beating in a disjointed rhythm.
Her scent washed over me and I became lost in it. How I lived for even a week without her was now a mystery to me. I knew I would never be able to leave her again no matter what happened or what she thought. Contemplating leaving for even a second was, at this moment, unbearable.
I wanted to keep kissing her, I truly did, but her needs were far above mine. She was human with restrictions, such a needing to breathe, so I reluctantly pulled away, ending the kiss.
Instead of putting any distance between us, I leaned in, laying my ear over her heart. It was still beating at the same pace as a startled rabbits would, and her breathing came in light gasps.
We lay there for a minute, waiting for Bella’s breathing to slow and quiet. When it reached an acceptable rhythm, I spoke to her in a casual tone.
“By the way, I’m not leaving you.” I needed her to know, to understand.
She didn’t say anything, but I could guess what she was thinking. It was becoming easier to read her again.
I lifted my head and gazed into her eyes again. The scepticism was clear in her eyes. She didn’t believe me.
“I’m not going anywhere. Not without you.” I made my voice more serious. “I only left you in the first place because I wanted you to have a chance at a normal, happy, human life. I could see what I was doing to you—keeping you constantly on the edge of danger, taking you away from the world you belonged in, risking your life every moment I was with you. So I had to try. I had to do something, and it seemed like leaving you was the only way. If I hadn’t thought you would be better off, I could never have made myself leave. I’m much too selfish. Only you could be more important than what I wanted... what I needed. What I want and need is to be with you, and I know I’ll never be strong enough to leave again. I have too many excuses to stay—thank heavens for that!” I tried to inject some humour into the conversation. “It seems you can’t be safe, no matter how many miles I put between us.” I kept looking into her eyes and was saddened to see the pain return to them.
“Don’t promise me anything.” She whispered, the pain in her eyes carrying into her voice.
Abruptly I was angry. “You think I’m lying to you?” I demanded, searching her face for the answer.
“No—not lying.” She answered, shaking her head lightly. “You could mean it...now. But what about tomorrow, when you think of all the reasons you left in the first place? Or next month, when Jasper takes a snap at me?” her voice rose a little.
I thought back to that night, how close it had gotten. I flinched.
“It isn’t as if you hadn’t thought the first decision through, is it?” she guessed. “You’ll end up doing what you think is right.” Her voice lowered again.
“I’m not as strong as you give me credit for.” I said.
thats it till after exams! hope you enjoyed :)
please comment and rate!
enjoy!!
If she wanted me to leave, I would have no choice but to. I couldn’t deny anything to the beautiful creature in my arms. Even if it killed me to leave I still would, if that was what she wanted.
It was time to confront her. I needed to know, but I was dreading the answer.
“Yesterday, when I would touch you, you were so... hesitant, so careful, and yet still the same.” Still perfect in every way, I wanted to add, but I resisted, wary of what she would say. “I need to know why.” I went on staring into the depths of her melting brown eyes, so deep I could get lost in them.
“Is it because I’m too late? Because I’ve hurt you too much? Because you have moved on, as I meant for you to? That would be... quite fair.” Even if it was unbearably painful. “I won’t contest your decision. So don’t try to spare my feelings, please—” Because that would be so Bella. Denying me the truth to spare me pain. “-just tell me now whether or not you can still love me, after everything I’ve done to you. Can you?” I whispered now, nervous of her answer.
The frown was back again, and her answer was not what I expected.
“What kind of idiotic question is that?” she demanded, looking right back at me.
I wanted to sigh by I held it back, now wasn’t the time.
“Just answer it. Please.” I added to the end, making my tone softer.
She stared darkly at me for a long moment, each second building the tension inside me.
“The way I feel about you will never change. Of course I love you—and there’s nothing you can do about it!” she stated, and relief flooded through me, making me giddy. All the time I had spent worrying, pointless.
“That’s all I needed to hear.” I spoke lovingly, and before she could react, I leant in and pressed my lips to hers.
It was like an electric current was passing though me, originating from her warm lips before spreading throughout my entire body. I could feel her warm body touching mine, and it was all I could do to remind myself to be careful. Her heart was beating at double time, the sound loud in my ears. I vaguely noticed she was holding her breath and I moved away from her for two seconds so she could get her breath back. The seconds our lips were apart, I whispered her name, and she pulled herself closer to me. I ran my fingers through her hair and stroked her face as she did the same. Instead of stroking, she knotting her fingers into my hair, refusing to let go.
I wanted to live in this moment forever, with her secure and safe in my arms, every line of her body matching mine, with her warm hands shaping themselves to my cheek.
The hole in my chest that came with her absence was all but a distant memory in this moment, this perfect moment. I didn’t want to pull away but her breathing was coming in jagged bursts, her heart beating in a disjointed rhythm.
Her scent washed over me and I became lost in it. How I lived for even a week without her was now a mystery to me. I knew I would never be able to leave her again no matter what happened or what she thought. Contemplating leaving for even a second was, at this moment, unbearable.
I wanted to keep kissing her, I truly did, but her needs were far above mine. She was human with restrictions, such a needing to breathe, so I reluctantly pulled away, ending the kiss.
Instead of putting any distance between us, I leaned in, laying my ear over her heart. It was still beating at the same pace as a startled rabbits would, and her breathing came in light gasps.
We lay there for a minute, waiting for Bella’s breathing to slow and quiet. When it reached an acceptable rhythm, I spoke to her in a casual tone.
“By the way, I’m not leaving you.” I needed her to know, to understand.
She didn’t say anything, but I could guess what she was thinking. It was becoming easier to read her again.
I lifted my head and gazed into her eyes again. The scepticism was clear in her eyes. She didn’t believe me.
“I’m not going anywhere. Not without you.” I made my voice more serious. “I only left you in the first place because I wanted you to have a chance at a normal, happy, human life. I could see what I was doing to you—keeping you constantly on the edge of danger, taking you away from the world you belonged in, risking your life every moment I was with you. So I had to try. I had to do something, and it seemed like leaving you was the only way. If I hadn’t thought you would be better off, I could never have made myself leave. I’m much too selfish. Only you could be more important than what I wanted... what I needed. What I want and need is to be with you, and I know I’ll never be strong enough to leave again. I have too many excuses to stay—thank heavens for that!” I tried to inject some humour into the conversation. “It seems you can’t be safe, no matter how many miles I put between us.” I kept looking into her eyes and was saddened to see the pain return to them.
“Don’t promise me anything.” She whispered, the pain in her eyes carrying into her voice.
Abruptly I was angry. “You think I’m lying to you?” I demanded, searching her face for the answer.
“No—not lying.” She answered, shaking her head lightly. “You could mean it...now. But what about tomorrow, when you think of all the reasons you left in the first place? Or next month, when Jasper takes a snap at me?” her voice rose a little.
I thought back to that night, how close it had gotten. I flinched.
“It isn’t as if you hadn’t thought the first decision through, is it?” she guessed. “You’ll end up doing what you think is right.” Her voice lowered again.
“I’m not as strong as you give me credit for.” I said.
thats it till after exams! hope you enjoyed :)
please comment and rate!
