-Emmett-

If there was one thing I could wish entirely off the face of the earth, it would be ribbons.

I tell you, I dunno how Alice fit so many of the goddamn things into one single freaking wedding. Another mystery of life: Alice.

Hearing this, Edward began laughing so hard I was sure he'd bust a rib or something, if it were possible.

Rosalie was never exactly Jake's biggest fan, but since the happy couple got engaged, she mainly just pointedly ignores him. I dunno why, but somehow, I get the impression that all girls are like sisters who get all weird whenever one of their number gets married.

Like, for instance, ignoring someone they are usually prepared to strangle.

Girls are so different from guys, I think we should be declared a seperate species.

But back to how much I wish I'd held Alice down until the wedding was over. That way, she wouldn't have been able to be herself, and by that, I mean, *cough, cough* overdecorate.

Another thing I resented about the concept of Alice planning weddings, the ridiculous waste of time involved with outfittings. Ugh.

So, when the afore metioned happy couple drove off, and we were done cleaning up the center of all that is feminine, (ie. My own personal hell) I can't tell you just how fun it was remembering seeing Rosalie literally shove a piece of cake in Jake's face when no-one else was looking, and say, "welcome to the family."

That just about had me laughing like a grizzly having a seizure.