Twilight Series Article: 10 Ways to Annoy Bella Swan

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posted by meeek

10. Ask about Mike.

9. Ask about Eric.

8. Ask about Jacob.

7. Ask about Edward.

6. After asking about all these boys, inquire as to how much she is paying them, and where in the White Pages she looked for fake fan-boys.

5. When she complains about not being a vampire, throw glitter on her and claim she sparkles just like a vampire in the sun.

4. Ask if the thought of Edward biting her makes her… happy.

3. Say that since Edward is technically dead, she is into necrophilia. Tell her that is sick and wrong, and she should stop with her weird fetishes.

2. Tell her we all know about the real reason she married Edward – the honeymoon.

And the Number One way to annoy Bella Swan?

1. Tell her that you and Jacob imprinted on each other, and are getting married. Tell her you are pregnant, and will be with him forever. Videotape the reaction.

Source: link

smileyfaceddude, Bella_Swan3 and 7 others like this

sasie_katje88 i got another one," just put her together with alice in 1 room ":D héhé LOL

meeek hahah. thats right! funny!

tumeg96 lol yea also tell her that Jacob imprinted on her mom! that would kind of piss her off lolol

JacobLuver13 lol all of them are funny but i like #8 #5 #3 and #1 the best

MATH VS. VAMPIRES: VAMPIRES LOSE

posted by milicac

If vampires—corpses that rise up to suck the blood of the living—sound biologically implausible to you, you’re not alone. They exist purely in legend, as virtually all scientists agree.

But for any vampire believers undissuaded by biological facts, a professor has come up with a second proof of their unreality, using math.

If vampires ever existed in the forms in which movies and books portray them, they would have quickly wiped out humanity long ago, according to physics professor Costas Efthimiou of the University of Central Florida in Orlando, Fla.
Popular lore passed down through...

3

Edward and Bella's honeymoon. Edward's POV chapter 7

posted by halunik

!!!!!!!!!WARNING!!!!! ONLY FOR ADULTS!!!!!!

Hello friends. Thank you for your support.
And hope, that you'll like the other chapter.

Sorry for not posting for so long. I was totally busy.

I heard her breathing accelerated. in a second I was beside her. I smelled sweat. Here was too hot for her. I lied down and pressed her to me. She opened her eyes for a second and closed them with a slight smile.
The night was close to the end. I heard the birds started singing, the whole nature waking up. The sky became lighter before the dawn. My anger was worn up and I felt empty. I wanted to give Bella everything,...

5

The Memoir of a Wolf's Daughter Chap 5

posted by NeeNee14

I walked into a room with a bunch thirteen and fourteen year olds. They sat down on the floor. Justin and I introduced ourselves as Ms.T and Mr.J. We taught them some basics and and played some games.
"Okay everyone, have a seat." I waited for them to sit down and be quiet." At the end of this camp, we will hold a showcase, so you can show what you learned; you can do it individually or in a group of four." I said.
"And the thing about Krumping is that you can add your own twist once you know the basics, Like Ms.T used to do Ballet, so sometimes, you may see her doing Ballet tricks." he said....

4

emmett cullen love story chapter 1

posted by karpach_13

Emmett love story chapter 1
You have lived with the Cullens because your parents were killed in a car accident when you were about 2. You were adopted by Carlisle and Esme. So you have known about their secret. You were closest to Edward and Alice than Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie. When you started high school you guys moved to Forks, Washington. You grabbed the last bag out of the moving van and went up the stairs and you tripped on a rock. You heard a roar of laughter.
You: Emmett you are such a pathetic guy.
Emmett: Oh really? Look at who is on the ground.
Edward: Here I will help you up.
Edward...

9

Changed Plans (Bella's Pov) Chapter 7

posted by rubytuesday101

I sat down on the sofa and so did edward,He sat down right beside me.After a while i drifted off to sleep,i dont know when i woke up but it was really dark.Then i noticed my head was on edward's shoulder,when i was asleep i must have leaned on him.I looked at edward he seemed comfortable and happy really happy,i took my head off edwards shoulder and looked at him.
"Your awake"he said smiling that dazzleing smile,he had dazzled me one again.
"Ya,i was really tired sorry"i said getting akeward.
"Its okay i didnt mind"he said smiling even wider.
"Of corse you didnt"i said and he laughed a bit i looked...

1

New Moon - Chapter 3 - The End (pages 53-55)

posted by 2468244

*by Stephenie Meyer*

NEW MOON - chapter 3 - THE END

I felt absolutely hideous in the morning. I hadn’t slept well; my arm burned and my head ached. It didn’t help me outlook that Edward’s face was smooth and remote as he kissed my forehead quickly and ducked out my window. I was afraid of the time I’d spent unconscious, afraid that he might have been thinking about right and wrong again while he watched me sleep. The anxiety seemed to ratchet up the intensity of the pounding in my head.
Edward was waiting for me at school, as usual, but his face was still wrong. There was something buried...

9

~Ever After 6~

posted by LexisFaith

Sorry if it's a bit long :/ I get carried away lol
Hope you LOVE!!!
__________________________________________________
"Wait." Alice stood perfectly still, "He told her?" She pointed to the baby.
"That's what she said." Jake stood frozen. Almost as still as Alice.
"You think she could have gotten some kind of. . . power?" I asked Alice. "Even though she's human?"
She shrugged, her brows furrowed in conentration. "Maybe. I'm not sure. Maybe you should talk to Carlisle."
"Yea," I agreed. "We will when we get back. I'm starved."
Jacob finally thawed out and turned to me. "Me, too." He took my hand and...

5

Why the Twilight saga should be watched at home, alone.

posted by robin931009

As I removed the New moon-disc from my dvd-player, I thought to myself: Maybe I shouldn't see Eclipse in theaters?

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love Twilight and want to see Eclipse as soon as possible. The thing is, when I was first introduced to the series, it was through the first film. I had rented it and didn't know what it was. I sat alone in my room with a glass of coke and watched it late at night. I was instantly hooked. I couldn't get over how incredibly interesting it all was; the story, the characters and above all the books i hadn't yet read. I quickly hurried to my computer...

7

Blackout!!! Part 5

posted by smileyfaceddude

Cynddylan

I tried to numb the pain for Bella with my gift, tried to influence her to not feel the pain. I was doing anything and everything I could to help try and save my life. “Son, I think he’s genuinely innocent. Would you at least try for Bella?” The blonde vampire named Carlisle convinced hypnotically. Edward just stared at him and then at the delirious Bella and then at Carlisle again. He frowned at him in a God-I-wish-you-hadn’t-said-that way. He concentrated for a minute. “JACOB! Put him down!” Edward told the savage which was trying to suffocate me, he obeyed reluctantly,...

4

breaking dawn book 2 chapter 8 edward pov

posted by xroylex

me and jacob stood staring at each other for a while ontil alice flittered from the house to the purch after staring at jacob she darted to jaspers side. rose must be with bella garding her and as jacobs thoughts went i agreeed from the wrong dangers.
"this isnt the first time i have owed you my gratitude jacob i would never of asked this from you" i told him.
he thought about it for a while and then `yeah you would` hmm.. maybe that was true i would do anything to save bella from anything encluding what i myself have done to her.
"i suppose your right about that" i let him have that one.
he...

5

True Lies,Teen Girls(Chapter Five)

posted by moolah

Bella tells Edward Alice is babysitting him;While Bella get ready for his suprise!

Alice’s P.O.V:
It felt great that me and Bella made up a little. But as Bella says, ‘We still have to deal with the bitch.’
When Chief Swan picked us up we crowded into the back of the cruiser, “Thanks dad.” “You girls are welcome.” I was nervous to be seen with Bella and have to fakely argue with her but so far we were doing okay. I guess.
When we got to Bella’s house Bella dragged me into her bedroom. When we got into her room we saw Edward. He was sprawled across her bed engaged in a book. When Bella walked in he shot up, and looked over at me. “Alice,” he started. “Edward…”...

4

Not Possible (Bella's pov) Chapter 2

posted by rubytuesday101

"Why are you leaving?" i asked him "I just have to go"he said back to me."You cant leave me"i cried back to him "Bella i dont want you".It was like he had slapped me in the face."You.Dont.Love.Me","No"was all he said.His voice sounded hard and cold."What was last night then?"he didnt say anything he just turned his head away from me so i couldnt see his face.Then i realized what happened,i was nothing i was a girl that was not scared of him.So he took his chance,i was used.That thought made me fall and i landed on my butt,he used me he was lying all this time and last night.Something twisted...

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Me, Juste_123 and Guste_LT's story for after the Twilight saga about Jake and Nessie! (Lifetime)

posted by smileyfaceddude

This is our take on what happens after breaking dawn! Hope you enjoy! If you have any ideas, we would be very happy for you to tell us about them.

Confessions.

“I have to tell them.” I thought “Today’s the day.” Hesitantly I approached my family, hoping my father, Edward, wouldn’t read my thoughts. My father shifted his eyes and met mine, they turned cold and dark and after a few moments, he grimaced. He did it. “I told you not to.” I thought angrily. My mother, Bella, noticed my expression. She looked at us several times and finally asked, “What is it?” No one answered and...

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Jacob's one true love

posted by shingkai

Today is my daughter’s wedding day; she finally decided to marry the werewolf we all love.

Renesmee’s wedding will be held at the reservation and everyone was worried, at first Rosalie, emmet and jasper strongly disagree to what Renesmee was planning but Edward and Seth reassure them that everything is going to be fine so we reluctantly consider.

I know I should be happy but I don’t understand why I am feeling so sad, maybe because I miss my Jacob. I never told Renesmee about the werewolf I used to love, I thought it’s no longer important but she has the right to know after all I have...

4

Life after death chapter 1

posted by KatiiCullen94

"Mummy?" I turned towards Renesmee, whose dress was now covered in dirt, oh jacob!! i wasn't going to be the one to do the washing now...
Her arms streched towards me , clutching her hands.
i opened my arms wide, she sped straight in my chest..
her warm hands brusedh my face, she always has something to show.
"Nessie! DONT YOU EVER DO THAT TO A WEREWOLF, ITS DANGEROUS! PAUL COULD'VE KILLED YOU! i really doubt you want me to kill my brother"

Jacob had never raised his voice to Renesmee ever. I saw a tear roll from her pearl crimson eyes.
" i smelll something human mum?" she inhaled.
i took in,...

My Moon, My Man. Chapter 5

posted by AnonymousXXX

I hope you enjoy! I been feeling down latly... Comment and talk to me bout what you think of my chapters. I'd love to hear your thoughts.

As I woke up in bed I replayed images of last night. As I did I realized I loved being with Ethan and that scared me more than anything. Seeing as it had only been a day. How do you love being around a person so quickly? How do you like someone so much in just one day? It was insane but true. So did that make me insane?
My thoughts were quickly interrupted by my sister. She came bursting through the door and jumped on my bed.
“Ok so about yesterday… Forgive...

4

Concerning Stephenie Meyer's New Book: An Eclipse Spin-off- The Short Second Life of Bree Tanner

posted by mandapanda

I'm sure most of you have heard, Stephenie Meyer is publishing a new book, or as she says, novella. You guys are probably asking yourselves why I would want to write an article about this and share the same information. However, the news has caused so much of a hype, not everyone is reading what Stephenie Meyer had said and the complaints from alot of fans encouraged me to write this article and I would like to address some of those issues. So, another semi-rant. Haha

Since 2008, us Twilight fans thought the door to the Twilight world would be sealed, or at least be shut for a very long time,...

New Moon and a Muse song are strikingly similar

posted by Thoughts_Galore

So I was listening to the song "Time is Running Out" by Muse and really paying attention to the lyrics. I noticed some striking resemblances to this song and New Moon. Listen to this song if you've seen the movie New Moon and/or have read the book. The song came out before the book, so I know Muse didn't steal it from Stephenie Meyer. And one of Stephenie Meyer's favourite bands in Muse. Just look at the lyrics for yourself and read my breakdown:

I think I'm drowning - Could be when Bella literally drowns or when she was without Edward
Asphyxiated - She felt like she was dying without Edward
I...

1

Robert Pattinson fears life after 'Twilight'

posted by Hellohoudini

Robert Pattinson fears life after 'Twilight'

(AP Source: AP Tue Mar 02, 2010, 11:57 am

NEW YORK - With his tousled, seemingly unwashed locks, and rumpled, just-rolled-out-of-bed undershirt and jeans, Robert Pattinson seems laid-back and carefree.

But the 23-year-old heartthrob, who attracts throngs of screaming fans wherever he goes, has a lot on his mind these days -- not the least of which is what will happen when the "Robsession" ends.

"If it suddenly dies down and suddenly no one is interested ... yeah, it is worrying," he says. "It's scary to think that it all might just fundamentally...

4

Rob Pattinson Dating Kristen Stewart Claim Is A Lie

posted by Alice_Cullen_

Of course the newest rumor has been via The Sun which stated that Robert Pattinson told them, a tabloid, about his personal life especially supposedly revealing that Robert and Kristen were indeed dating. However, this is a false interview. GossipCop did the dirty work for all the sites that were stating it as fact:

Gossip Cop has spent hours reaching out to everyone to verify the Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart shocker heard ’round the world.

Initially, we were told the interview was “a fake.”

We then contacted many, many more individuals, including the author of the explosive interview...