Twilight Series Article: Funny Quotes from Twilight

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posted by BlackSunshine

“You and Billy gossip like old women.” -Bella, Eclipse.

“Penguins. Lovely.” -Edward, Eclipse

"Amazing, How can someone so tiny be so annoying?" -Edward, Eclipse

"Next time you want to hit me, use a baseball bat or a crowbar, okay?" Jacob, Eclipse

"I guess I could throw in a few extra homicides, if it will make Jasper happy. Why not." Bella, Eclipse.

"Stupid shiny Volvo owner."-Bella, Twilight

"Did you seriously just stamp your foot? I thought girls only did that in movies." -Jacob, Eclipse

"How strongly opposed are you to grand auto theft?"
-Alice, New Moon

"Oh! I get it! You love me!"
-Bella, New Moon.

"I prefer brunettes.”
—Edward Cullen

“I’m really glad Edward didn’t kill you. Everything’s so much more fun with you around.” -Emmett Cullen

“Edward’s only human, Bella. He’s going to react like any other boy.”
—Angela Weber

“This hostage stuff is fun.”
—Alice Cullen

"Would you please stop trying to take your clothes off?"
-Edward

“Fall down again, Bella?” —Emmett Cullen

“I can’t imagine how awful that must feel. Being normal? Ugh.” —Bella Swan

"I hear voices in my mind and you worried that you're the freak."-Edward

"Yes, because a vampire slumber party is the pinnacle of safety conscious behavior." -Bella

"You worry too much, Bella. You're going to go prematurely gray." -Alice

"Don't worry...I'll protect you." –Edward

"Go fetch a space heater... what am I a St. Bernard?"
-Jacob

"Afraid of a needle." he muttered to himself under his breath, shaking his head. "Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other hand..." -Edward Cullen

"I've never seen anyone so prone to life-threatening idiocy in my life!"
-Alice Cullen

"I've been tortured, Alice painted my toenails!"
-Bella Swan

"It's a good thing you're bulletproof."
-Bella Swan

Emmet: "Fall again, Bella?"
Bella: "No Emmet, I punched a wear wolf in the face."

"You are bizarrely moral for a vampire."
-Bella Swan

"Stupid unreliable vampire!"
-Bella

“Which is tempting you more, me or my body?”
-Bella

"Do you have a multiple personality disorder?"-Bella Swan

“I don’t have any leeches on my speed dial.” — Jacob Black

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School and life as a halfing #4(Edward's POV)

posted by tayandkris4evr

Finally a picture of him laying down! *Disclaimer*

I gazed into Bella's golden eyes. To me I was the luckiest man alive. To be laying with this angel. A very beautiful 16 year old daughter of mine in the other room and very warm welcoming, and understanding family. I wanted to send a note to god saying 'thank you'. A few years had passed, Bella was a full vegitarian now. The crimson eyes had faded faster than we'd expected.
"Hun, what are you thinking about?" My angel whispered to me, intterupting my thoughts.
"You, Love." I replied shutting my eyes for a few seconds. She smiled brightly at me. I returned the smile. What I wouldn't give if...

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Bellas Worst Nightmare-Chpt 7

posted by twilight_james

"Edward, Im a werewolf" I told him
****
"Bella," Alices voice was panicked. "Bella, he doesn't want to live anymore. He's going back to the Volturi, and they will kill him this time!"
******
I walked down the dark corridor, Jacob and Sam and the rest of the pack were with me. We were in Volterra, and just about to enter the turrent room. Memories came flooding back to me-Janes smile, Edward in agony, Alice holding me back. I shook them away and rushed into the doors. Edward was being held between two vampires ares.
He twisted his head around to look at me. "Bella, I'm so sorry"
And then Aro twisted...

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My Midnight Sun Part 8 [Edwards POV]

posted by BellaCullenHale

My legs going at blinding speed

BIOLOGY
Here I sit,in biology. Emmett's bite had healed.The pleased my family. She walked in then,her scent filled the room. Mr.Banner walked in with a VCR. A movie day... She sighed. She turned to look at me. Her eyes mesmerizing,milky brown eyes staring deep into mine. My throat burned the slightest bit at the reaction of her scent. ''Enjoying the weather?'' I asked a little smug,staring out the window. The rain punded againest the glass. ''Umm...No'' She said sarcastic. I laughed half heartedly. The lights went off then. I heard the small whispers of my classmates. The opening credits...

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night fall chapter 1

posted by joe-edwardfan

I was crying when Edward told me he doesn’t wants me anymore his face was hard as a statue with no emotions I was begging him to stay but he said its to dangerous for him to be with me it occurred to me maybe Alice had a vision that something is going to happen to me I looked up at him with pleading eyes but he turned around and left me in the woods.
I woke up screaming from the nightmare I saw, Edward was holding me in his arms ,he was looking at me confused I looked back at him seeing him there with me it was just a dream, I was dreaming , trying to comfort myself “are you alright love?”He...

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Top Ten Reasons to Be Team Switzerland

posted by mcs50

Not mine ^_^

Top Ten Reasons to Be Team Switzerland-

1. Got a need for speed? They are both fast!

2. You can hunt wild game with Edward and play wild games with Jake.

3. You can go wherever you want when you date both: Forks and Quileute territory.

4. You can take Edward home to meet your parents and have fun with Jacob on the side.

5. You can be reckless with Jacob and Edward will make sure that you're safe.

6. Because you shouldn't have to choose between a Greek god look~alike and a hot, half naked guy.

7. Jacob can fix your car and Edward can buy a new one if Jacob can't fix it.

8. Because sometimes you need an air conditioner, and sometimes you need a space heater.

9. Who says you can't have the best of both worlds? They're both drop dead gorgeous.

10. Because you refuse to be affected by territorial disputes between mythical creatures.

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New Story - Chapter 13

posted by dinosteph

From the beginning:

link

Lets get caught up!:

“Why do you have to create so many problems?” She hissed back, finally turning her head to face me. He eyes were dark.

“Rose.” Emmett warned quietly.

“No. Edward’s not here. Don’t tell me what to do.” She hissed at Emmett and then stared back out the window.

I suddenly felt like this was a mistake. Rose could hate me. I really didn’t mind.

“Did you know that everyone is all packed and ready to go?” Rose said from the corner. “And then you happened.” Emmett just sat there shaking his head

“Ignore her. She’s just upset about...

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The Denali's

posted by AdaLove

The Denali Coven is a vampire coven that consists of Tanya, Kate, Carmen, Eleazar, and Garrett. The Denalis are some of the only vegetarian vampires in the world, along with the Cullen Family. They are also very close to the Cullens, being some of the Cullens' most loyal allies and considering themselves an extended family. The Denali Coven is located in Denali, Alaska so that its members can live alongside humans without too much trouble.The Denali Coven are the other vampire coven that are 'vegetarian'(yellow-eyed). They are considered the Olympic Coven's (Cullen Family) cousins.

History

Originally,...

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Sunrise Part 6

posted by Bella_Swan3

-Renesmee-

As soon as Jacob points out the boat that's ours, I get on. He climbs in after me and sets the GPS system.

I start programming the sleek seacraft to my satisfaction and as soon as we are about 100 meters away from the harbour, Jacob comes up behind me. I shiver lightly. It's almost dusk. Jacob folds his arms around my waist, and I turn to smile at him.

"I can't concentrate when you do that," I complain lightly. He doesn't release his grip. I don't want him to.
"How much longer, captain?"
"Maybe half an hour."

Eventually, I begin to see the small shape of some far off piece of land.

"There...

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Alice's New Moon

posted by just_bella

Recap Chapter 2

Once they were settled I had Emmett go help Jasper hang the lights. I had to keep looking out the door and yell at them because the strings were flying at each others heads and I would be really mad if they broke and this didn't turn out the way I planned.

I got everything done for the night, we all sat around and talked until Esme announced that Edward and I better get going if we didn't want to be late for school.

I asked everyone to help get anything that I forgot(yeah right.) Esme said that she would wrap the rest of the presents and Rosalie even offered to help Esme set...

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The story never ends, it’s just beginning - Part 21

posted by sasie_katje88

I'm back, i'll put one up later today too enjoy and yet again, sorry for mistakes

Bella's pov

Edward drove very gentile, he knew what my reaction would be if he drove to fast with Mason in the car. So it took a while before we arrived home. When we finally did we both walked out of the car and I took Mason, he was sleeping now so I took him gently in my arms. Suddenly Renesmee comes running out the door
“Mom, Dad, you’re home” she said full of excitement.
“Of course, we are, what did you think that we weren’t coming home anymore, Edward said amused and with a smile on his face.
“Very...

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Tainted Blood chapter two

posted by Pirate_4_life

My chest felt as if it was going to explode, although I had not heartbeat to speak of, it was racing ten to the dozen in my mind. I tried to stand up, to get away from the scene I had found, but my legs wouldn’t hold me up long enough. I fell to the ground hitting my head hard on the foot of my grandmothers bed, my head swirling out of control, filled with scenes that could have been mistaken for a horror film. The crash, the biting, the sight of my grandmother dying silently while I was to chicken to do something about it.
I lay there for what seemed liked days but when I looked at the clock...

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Kayla, Chapter 11

posted by twilight-7

Here it is, Guys, Chapter 11. Tell me what you think and if you want anything to happen - don't hesitate to ask me!!

I was on the sofa with my arms around Edward. My head was on his chest and I had no intention of moving. He was trying to coax me to let go of him to wash the blood off my forehead but I didn’t relax my grip.
“Kayla, please,” he said, gently. “You need to wash the blood off before Charlie comes home. Do you really want to tell him that you were nearly eaten today?”
I shook my head.
“Not moving,” I said, stubbornly.
He tried to peel my arms off but I just shrugged his...

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Feelings (Sequel to "Football" Don't read unless you've read Football)

posted by CullenCult

**This is the continuation of "Football" but this one is in Jasper's POV** I know its short, I'm sorry **When you're reading and you see something like this: ~anger~ then that means Jasper is getting Anger vibes**

Edward and Emmett just got back from the purgatory they call high school. I gently nudged Alice's legs off my lap and got up to go meet them at the door. They barely got in the house good before their moods hit me.
~guilt~; Edward
~annoyance..humor..~; Emmett.
Whats going on? I asked Edward.
"Just prepare yourself." he said. I immediately suspected danger.
"Just towards me." he...

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Things Jacob Would Never Say

posted by rocksinger123

Here's a list of things hottie werewolf Jacob Black would't EVER say:
*Edward, since me and you are best friends, on behalf of the pack, thankyou for stealing the love of my life,turned her into a leech, and forced me to exile myself!
*Bella, I hate you, you're a f***ing b****!!!
*Oh gee Sam, your right, I should've forgotten Bella, turned gay, and had a gay marrige with Mike Newton!
*I hate dogs!!!
*I love Edward Cullen!!!

If you have any more ideas, post 'em on the comments board. Sorry if I insultd Mike fans. One more thing...I LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUUUUUUUVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVV EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Kristen Stewart: Why Robert Pattinson Is the Sexiest Vampire Alive

posted by Raechelll

The Twilight heartthrob's leading lady loves his wit and his hair – and yes, he proposed to her

As "Twilighters" swoon with anticipation for the vampire flick's Nov. 21 opening day – almost 2,000 screenings are already sold out – Kristen Stewart says leading man Robert Pattinson has the killer looks for the job.

Stewart, who plays heroine Bella Swan in the film adaptation of Stephenie Meyer's bestselling saga, agrees that her costar – featured in PEOPLE's Sexiest Man Alive issue – is "pretty sexy."

"Oh, he's like a little tortured artist. He's British. He's tall," the 18-year-old actress...

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Dead But Dreamy - Robert Pattinson Is Twilight's Edward

posted by Zeisha

Normally, a vampire flick heading to theaters would attract the typical genre or horror fans curious to the latest spin on the bloodsucker mythology. But there’s nothing typical about the absolute tidal wave of buzz surrounding the big screen adaptation of Stephanie Meyer’s young adult skewing vampire tale, Twilight.

In the four years since Meyer’s released Twilight (the first book in the now completed four series), the book have sold more than 17 million copies in 37 languages, and maybe most importantly, spawned a fandom as passionate, vocal and obsessed over their work that most authors...