I'd always had some hope inside me, hope that shined like the brightest star, because that was just me. Yuri Satomi. I knew there was hope; that little light at the end of the long tunnel that kept someone walking, that hand always pulling you up when you don't know what to do anymore?
Well. That hope, if there ever was some inside me, was gone. Forever gone.
I guess I should start from the very beginning, my story, when I had first met Duncan.
I pounded on the carpeted floor. I was eleven, and really, really annoyed. I sobbed, long and deep, my blonde streak falling into my tear-stained eyes. "Stop it..." I managed, trying to push the twelve-year-old boy in front of me away. "Go away, Duncan."
"I won't go away," he insisted. "I just wanted to say hi!"
"Go AWAY!" I shouted, hitting him in the face, flinching as he drew back.
"Sorry, Yuri!" He gasped. "I said I was sorry."
I growled. "You are not sorry. You were never sorry. Leave me alone."
I stared into his eyes, feeling some of me sadness vanish, and it was abruptly replaced by wonder and a weird longing.
"Dammit, Duncan," I whispered. "Go away."
"Forget it, Yuri!" He snapped, and he ran away, and I had no idea what he was up to.
My knees crumpled, and I fell to the ground, sobbing. My cheek brushed a dandelion, and I groaned. A single, clear teardrop spattered on my blue sweater, and I gave in to myself, lying there. I didn't think I could do anything else. He had done that to me, Duncan had hurt me, maybe for life. He... he said that he didn't care about me anymore. We were best friends, and then he just said it, out of nowhere, leaving me hanging.
I lay there until my favorite teacher, Ms. Lyrine, found me there, and brushed my tears off my face. "Kiyuri?"
I tried to speak, but I coughed instead to keep from crying.
"What did Duncan do?"
"It's all his fault," I murmured. "He said..."
I paused. "Go on," Ms. Lyrine urged.
"He said that I wasn't his best friend anymore. He said that he didn't care about me. He said that he would by happy if I died!"
"I didn't," Duncan murmured, and I realized that he was there, behind my teacher.
"You did!" I screamed. "You said you..."
"I know what I said, Yuri. I didn't mean it!"
"Stop it. Go away."
"Duncan, why did you say that to Kiyuri?"
"I said I didn't mean it!" Duncan argued.
"Do not EVER say that again, if you didn't mean it, Duncan."
I blinked, and the tears threatened to overflow.
"Alright, ma'am," Duncan gave in.
"Thank you, Duncan." Ms. Lyrine's voice was soft. "There, now. Are you okay, Yuri?"
No,, I almost said. No way. How do you expect me to be OKAY?!
But all I did was nod. What else could I do?
Ms. Lyrine patted my hair. And she left, leaving me and Duncan.
"Yuri, why won't you believe me?"
"Because I don't." I shivered.
Duncan sniffed. "Why don't you?"
"Because that's all you are." My voice was dangerous. "That's all you want, power. You don't care about anyone, Duncan. Not me, not anyone."
"That's not true!" He protested. "Yuri!"
I avoided staring into his eyes, so that wouldn't distract me.
"It's true," I snarled. I'd never been easy to forgive someone. "And you know what, Duncan? I don't care, either. I don't care if you go away, if you disappear from this world forever."
It wasn't true, obviously, but at that moment, I just wanted to hurt him. I would do anything.
He patted my head, and I stared at him. "What?"
"I said, what?" I demanded.
"I care, Yuri," he said seriously.
"I don't," I snapped.
Duncan sighed. "I'll leave you, Yuri. If you want."
"Go away forever. Do that, and I'll be happy."
He smiled. "Not likely, Yuri."
"Go away!" I repeated, with more emphasis.
And he did, leaving me there, along, my face buried in the long grass, wishing I was dead.