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posted by bwright
These are in no particular order.

Michael: It was a crime of passion Jan, not a disgruntled employee. Everyone here is extremely gruntled.


Dwight: Every day for eight years I have brought pepper spray into this office to protect myself and my fellow employees and for eight years people have laughed at me. Well, who's laughing now? (Eyes teared up as effect of pepper sprady)


Dwight:No, don't call me a hero. Do you know who the real heroes are? The guys who wake up every morning and go into their normal jobs and get a distress call from the commissioner and take off their glasses and change into capes and go around fighting crime. Those are the real heroes.


Michael:Wikipedia, is the best thing ever. Anyone in the world can write anything they want about any subject, so you know you are getting the best possible information.


Toby: I don't think Michael intended to punish me by putting Ryan back here with Kelly but if he did, well, genius.


Micheal: There were these huge bins of clothes and everyone was rifling through them, like crazy, and I grabbed one. And it fit, so I don't this is totally just a women's suit. At the very least it's bisexual.


Pam: Michael, the pants don't have any pockets.
Michael: (Showing off his laffy taffy) No, they don't. See! Italians don't wear pockets.


Michael: A boss's salary isn't just about money; it is about perks. For example, every year I get a one-hundred dollar gas card. Can't put a price tag on that.

Creed: Here's the forty dollars you gave me.
Michael:I didn't give you forty dollars.
Creed: (Nods) In a way you did.


Kelly: What is so stupid about wanting to name a baby Usher? Usher Jennifer Hudson Kapoor.
Ryan:Don't you see that that's insane?
Kelly:So I'm crazy now?


Kevin: Jim, eh, Roy, LOOK OUT!.
Jim:Thanks Kev, I'm good though.


Jan:First Off, Michael, this is a salary negotiation, all matters reguarding our personal relationship have to be set aside. Are we clear?
Michael:bipadi-bopadi
Jan:Right now we can offer you a 6% raise.
Michael:6%? After all we've been through, I got you jade earrings-
Jan:Michael-
Michael:No,no,no you wanna play it like this, you give me a good raise or no more sex.


Toby:This may the first time a male subordinate has attempted to get a modest, scheduled raise by threatening to withhold sex from a female superior. It will be a groundbreaking case when it inevitably goes to trial.


Michael:Life is about more than just salaries. It's about perks, like having sex with Jan-
Jan:Michael!


Dwight:I am not a hero, I am a mere defender of the office. Do you know who's a real hero? Hiro, from Heroes. That's a hero. Also, Bono.
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