Let’s first set the background here Sam Winchester: tall, kind, caring, cute and very smart (did I miss anything? I think that about covers it). For this blog, I want to focus on Sam’s intelligence and how that carries out in his family life. Sam is very smart I mean he keep up his grade regardless of how much he moved around, he was in the mathletics, he went to Stanford, was good with Latin and research since he was a child. By any standard, you would say Sam is more than just smart; Sam is gifted.
A parents dream come true right? The perfect child right? The one that won’t give him any problems or having to work extra hard for… right? I mean Sam didn’t have one of the behavioral problems; he didn’t have a learning disability (that we know of) so his parents wouldn’t have anything to worry about after all he is health and smart right?
I known what you are thinking right now, but don’t answer the question just yet answer at it at end of the blog; how you feel about things might differ at the end.
Having to raise a smart kid or a gifted kid does not come without its own set of challenges. Gifted and smart children can be and for the most part are temperamental, hard to calm down and have a hard time following directions especially when they are younger, but can carry into adulthood if not taught otherwise or if the child is stubborn or intense. That is why many psychologists like Dr. Klein state, “gifted children need to learn the rules about who makes a decision. Who is the boss …smart kids are born ‘know-it-alls’” Certainly you remember of how John wanted his children to follow directions and Sam had always asked why.. or why he should. Over the years the tension escalating to a boiling point. Dr. Klein has another theory about that “Parental intensity coupled with the child’s intensity makes taming their smartness, perfectionism and persistence a difficult and complicated responsibility.”
What was that, that Dean always said Sam and John were very alike… yeah both persistent, intense and perfectionist. John wanted everything perfect (baby not being taken care of..down right anal retentive right?) and insisted on it and Sam being “stickler for details” (2.02 everybody loves a clown-Dean) meaning a perfectionist and he too insisted on it. So reason number one for their problems it’s how much they are alike temperamental, persistent, intense, smart and perfectionist.
Reason number comes from the fact that most smart children are often engaging in an emotional battle of the will over the silliest things refusing to do the simplest things always wanting to negotiate. If you think about it, it would make sense. The smart child believes he or she knows it all and that the parents are intellectually beneath them (Sheldon Cooper anyone?). This is so much true that Dr. Klein states, “If your child never can stop questioning you, most likely he or she is gifted.”
There is a third reason, but is mainly speculated as the writers never stated either way. I will mention it just because. I believe that being the year it was and the fact that people have always found mental health taboo that John never prepared himself properly to deal with how special of a child he got.
Dr. Klein gives a set of rules in how to deal with gifted children:
1)expect opposition to rules -John pretty much knew that one
2) Acknowledge their strong feeling and reactions, but don’t give in to their demands John’s generation as many of the southern state (from what my friend who is from the south told me) still hold to the idea that children should follow directions and not question their parents. Leaving expressing your feelings an unnecessary reaction…kind of like “follow directions ask questions later” (does that remind you of someone?- by the way this is a quote I have personally heard from many of my parents friends telling their kids and my stepdad telling my brother.
3) Reward good behavior and give consequences for behavior that is unacceptable- this one I believe John did remember what Dean said “You see that? That attitude there? That’s why I always go the extra cookie.”
The main problem is that John never acknowledges Sam’s headstrong feeling and demands and it made him feel not heard or understood and it hurt his pride.
Now if you don’t like psychology you probably won’t like this, but it’s true and I have real living proof in my own house. My brother is super smart, very gifted in robotics, in all fields of math mainly if has a mathematical configuration or a hard drive and he can do it. He is also very talented in the theater and music and I’m told he is a very good tenor. However, you known what else he is…I love him, but he is a pain in the butt. Everything he needs to do is questioned, he bargains better than a salesperson and he constantly and I mean constantly trying to sneakily do things people have told him not to not do. When I asked him, why he says because he could because that rule is stupid and continues for five minutes explaining why he is right (by the way most of the school rules he breaks are stupid).He then finishes of by saying he is smarter than they are and that most times he gets away with it anyway (and he does because not everyone is prepared as my mom and I). I mean he pulls fast ones on this dad all the time.
Step dad: “It’s time to concentrate, settle down and start doing this essay”
Brother: Okay dad…say…you known the configuration to the computer bla bla bla bla…..
Stepdad: Why yes son…..
2 hours later
Mom: It’s dinner time
Brother: mission accomplished while skipping to the kitchen
Honestly he is the Sam to my Dean
Here is the link to Dr. Klein’s article
link