Almost after the 4 season of SPN i stopped watching the show, i cant explain exactly why but i was scared of how much SPN was affecting me, the love i had for the Winchesters was over my capacity to deal with,To be honest i was kind of mad. Mad at myself for letting me get so attached to this Show. I was telling my self i don't care about them and it is just a show and it will end but who was i kidding? so i thought if i turn my back to it will all stop, that if i just walked away i will be better off, but my God i was wrong.

The first night was like hell, everything kept reminding me of the show, the ring-tone in my cell , the likes page in facebook, the classic rock music in the MP3 and even the screen saver on my laptop, i was going crazy, even the doodles i did on the end of my notebooks was all about SPN quotes, i was driving my self insane, wondering all the time what was going on with them. will they win the war? what will happen after the rise of Lucifer ? how this Angel Castiel will impact the life of the Winchesters?

Almost after months that felt worse than the months that Dean spend it in hell, I made a decision. I got to go back on the road, i need to watch the show again, i have too, so i salted the doors and draw the symbols on the walls, i summoned my old spirit of Supernatural and started it with "Carry on My Way Ward" . and it felt like diving deep in a cold water and guess what i loved it. i realized that i can't just run away from the things when they go south, that i don't have to be afraid that the end wont be great. Maybe They wont survive this ..maybe they wont end a "Happily Ever After" end but the fact is what ever Crazy end is going to happen i want to be there.

Detroit..in that field ..i was there.. living the whole thing through my screen. and i know it hurts like.. i cant describe how bad when Sam took that dive , but i wouldn't forgive my self if i passed that episode. sure i cried , sure i screamed WHY, but hey... It is what It is. besides seeing Sam at the end of the episode standing there was enough to stop the tears... and freak me out too.

Any way... i was wrong and I solemnly swear will never stop watching the show ever again.

Season 7 here we come :)