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posted by Seanthehedgehog
Kelly and Colonel Allandra were all alone.

Colonel Allandra: Why are we alone?
Kelly: That way we can make some actual progress with our interrogation. *Pulls out a bottle of cognac with two cups* But first, I want you to have a drink.
Colonel Allandra: I am not thirsty.
Kelly: *Opens the bottle, and pours cognac in both cups* That's what they all say. This is real cognac, it won't kill you. I want you to have a drink. *Pushes a cup towards the colonel while pulling out a DH17* Drink.
Colonel Allandra: *Staring at the DH17. She nervously drinks the cognac*
Kelly: There, you see? *Puts his blaster away* Nothing bad will happen to you. *Drinks his cognac*
Colonel Allandra: I could get drunk.
Kelly: That's up to you. I only gave you one cup.
Colonel Allandra: I...*Slowly closing her eyes*

The colonel was drunk after all.

Kelly: You gotta be kidding me. *Taps the Colonel on her shoulder* Come on, we need to talk.
Colonel Allandra: what about?
Kelly: What you were doing with those other Imperials. What were you putting on those freighters?
Colonel Allandra: We were ordered to retreat to Chevrelium.
Kelly: Why? What were you moving?
Colonel Allandra: Nothing important. I doubt your army will chase us around the galaxy for these. *Pulls out a bar* They're just made out of lead.

But upon closer inspection, Kelly noticed some gold.

Kelly: *Grabs the bar. He scratches at it with his finger, and sees the lead coming off, revealing more gold* How many more of these do you have?
Colonel Allandra: 14,000? I don't know.
Kelly: 14,000.
Colonel Allandra: *Falls down on the floor*
Kelly: Come on Colonel, you gotta wake up! *Pulls the colonel off the floor, and puts her back in her seat* Where are the rest of these bars?
Colonel Allandra: Empyra. Past those hotels I mentioned earlier. They're locked up in a bank. It's a brown building, all the way on the eastern side of town.
Kelly: Are they any Imperials in Empyra?
Colonel Allandra: There's some.
Kelly: How many?
Colonel Allandra: 2,009 stormtroopers, and a hundred officers.
Kelly: Do they have any vehicles?
Colonel Allandra: Land vehicles mostly. They only use Tie Fighters to shoot down any ships trying to enter the planet.
Kelly: What kind of land vehicles?
Colonel Allandra: Speeders, and tanks.
Kelly: What kind of tanks Colonel?
Colonel Allandra: What kind of what?
Kelly: *Shaking the Colonel* Tanks!!
Colonel Allandra: Mobile Artillery Hover Tanks. *Falls down on the ground again. She is fast asleep*
Kelly: I gotta get her out of here.

2 B Continued
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Source: lord-raidens @ Tumblr (aka me)
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A fun animated video of a Storm Trooper orchestra playing the Imperial March conducted by Darth Vader
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funny
cartoon
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Source: Disney, Lucasfim, Getty
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video
funny
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parody
anakin
star wars
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Source: Jedi Outcast Creations
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