Song (Start at 0:17): link

Colonel Turner: Here he is. At the Schloss Adler. The Castle of Eagles. Believe me, it's well named, because only an eagle can get to it. Our job is to get inside there, and get him out as soon as possible.
Colonel Kramer: Major Debeldun, in charge of shipping in weapons.
Republic Soldier: Green light go!
Men: *Jump out of the Landing Craft*
Colonel Kramer: Colonel Weissner, head of security.
Republic Soldiers: *Using parachutes after jumping out of the landing craft*
Colonel Kramer: Major Von Hapen, in charge of storm troopers.
Republic Soldiers: *Landing in the snow*

Stop the song

Major Smith: *Inside the castle, wearing an Imperial Officer's uniform* Allow me to introduce myself. *Walking towards General Rosemeyer* Major Johann Schmidt, enlisted into the Imperials from the Outer Rim.
Colonel Kramer: Guard!
Major Smith: *Shoots a storm trooper with a silenced blaster*
Announcer: SeanTheHedgehog presents.
John: *Inside a shed with Mary* Take your clothes off.
Mary: But I-
John: Don't argue. Take your clothes off.
Morris: *Wearing an Imperial Officer's uniform, he places a suitcase on a table in front of an officer* Hello.
Announcer: A Star Wars Fan Fiction.
Morris: *Pulls out a silenced blaster, and shoots the officer. He turns around, and shoots a storm trooper*

---

Morris: *Sitting with John in a bar* Now with McPherson dead, there's only five of us left. So either you let me know what's going on or there's only gonna be four.

Song (Start at 2:26): link

John & Morris: *Get on top of a cable car from the top of a cable car station*
Announcer: From the author who brought you Six Shooters, and it's sequel Six Shooters 2. Also responsible for the Thomas & Friends parody Trainz.

Stop the song

Announcer: SeanTheHedgehog is proud to present....
John: *Pointing an E-11 at Morris* Lieutenant, drop that gun.
Morris: *Also holding an E-11* What?
John: Drop that gun, and sit down.
Morris: *Drops his gun* What the hell are you talking about?

Song (Start at 0:27): link

Announcer:....Where Eagles Dare.
Morris: *Throws a bomb out a window*
Mary: *Enters a bar in a beige coat, and a black beret*
John: *Sets a bomb onto a pole by the road*
Imperial Officer: *Walking towards a bomb with a wire trap set below his ankles*
Officers & Stormtroopers: *Running to the middle of the castle, all carrying E-11 blasters*
John: *Laying down, looking through macrobinoculars*
Morris: *Stabs an officer with a light stick, a smaller version of a light saber*
Imperial Officer: *Walks into the wire, setting the bomb off*

Stop the song

Stormtroopers: *In an IFT-D as it blows up*
Morris: *In a speeder bike, passing two Imperial troop transports that explode*
John: *Riding in the sidecar of Morris' speeder bike*
Stormtroopers: *Driving land speeders towards a pole that gets blown up*
John: *Driving a speederbus, hitting two Tie Fighters, making them explode as they land on a fuel tank*

Louis Bodine as John Smith
Sean Bodine as Morris Schaffer
Emma Watson as Mary in...

Song (Start at 2:45): link

Where Eagles Dare



A ship was seen flying into Geonosis. Once it landed, a man on a speeder bike drove out.

Song: link

SeanTheHedgehog Presents

A Star Wars Fan Fiction

The Bounty Hunter

Starring

Sean Bodine as Logan
Amanda Licciardi as Meghan
Joshua Nilsen as Major Delgado
Craig Sheffer as Jeremy Perrash
Rob Paulsen as Alain Melvoin
Bruce Penhall as Serran Konhella
Larry Storch as Cignal Kine
Tabby Rutowski as Ess R' Tee

Logan: *Riding the speeder bike up a hill, making a big trail of dust*

Based off of the 1969 film, Two Mules For Sister Sara

The following takes place 44 years before The Phantom Menace. Back then, Naboo was the planet to fear. Cignal Kine, ruler of the planet for ten years, has been ruthless, and took control of many other planets. All he needed now was Geonosis. One man, a bounty hunter, was called to this desert planet to help the Geonosians fight off the army from Naboo, and save it's people.

Logan: *Stops his speeder bike, and looks at four men pointing blasters at a woman*
Man 3: Just give us your credits, and we'll take off.
Man 4: We promise we'll leave you alone.
Meghan: I don't have any credits.
Man 3: Stop lying to us!
Man 2: Take her clothes off.
Meghan: No!!
Logan: *Activates his lightsaber* Party's over. Let her go.
Man 4: A Jedi.
Man 2: Hey, why don't you turn off that laser sword, and come have some fun?
Logan: I guess I didn't make myself clear.
Man 1: Boys, shoot that son of a bitch.
Men: *Shooting at Logan*
Logan: *Blocking their shots with his lightsaber*

Three of the men got hit.

Logan: *Turns off his lightsaber, then uses his KH70 blaster to shoot the other man*
Meghan: *Looking at the four men, now dead* You just saved my life.
Logan: Don't mention it. Are you hungry?
Meghan: I am now that you mention it.
Logan: Let's take some of their food.
Meghan: No. That wouldn't be right.
Logan: After the way they treated you? Come on. I say we take it.
Meghan: I guess I can't stop you. I have my own food, but some of my things were stolen. I'll get them from one of their speeder bikes.
Logan: You do that. *Grabs two boxes of food, and a bottle of water*

He looked at Meghan walking back to him, but wasn't expecting what he saw.

Logan: Jesus christ.
Meghan: *Dressed as a nun, and is wearing a cross* Now I'm ready to have some of their food.
Logan: What the hell is a nun doing all the way out here?
Meghan: I'm on a mission to help the Geonosians push Naboo's army out of this planet.
Logan: Did somebody drop you off here? I see the men's speeder bikes, but I don't see anything else.
Meghan: I was dropped off a few miles back. Started walking from there.
Logan: Did you bring anything else with you?
Meghan: No.
Logan: How do you plan to survive on this planet with nothing but your clothing?
Meghan: My prayers were answered when I got you. Now, let's eat.

They sat down, and had some food, stolen from the men that attempted to rob Meghan.

Logan and Meghan were sitting down next to each other, still eating some of the food stolen from the men that tried to rob Meghan.

Meghan: By the way, I never got your name.
Logan: Name's Logan. Yours?
Meghan: Meghan.
Logan: Nice name.
Meghan: Thanks. Nice meal.
Logan: Helps when you steal it from dead people. A lot of things I have are stolen.
Meghan: Excuse me brother Logan. *Picks up her water bottle, and goes towards one of the dead men*
Logan: *Watching Meghan*
Meghan: *Opens the bottle, and pours some of the water onto the man's forehead*
Logan: Whoa. *Runs towards Meghan, and snatches the water from her* If you don't want it, just let me have it! You don't have to waste any!
Meghan: I wasn't. I was honoring the dead.

A blast from a tank was heard.

Song: link

Logan: We'll be dead too if we don't head out of here. *Runs to the speeder bike* Hurry up!
Meghan: I can't run fast.
Logan: *Starts the speeder bike, and waits for Meghan*
Meghan: *Gets on behind Logan*
Logan: About time. If you weren't a nun, I'd leave you behind. *Takes off*

The tanks were getting close, and fired three more shots. Each shot missed, landing behind Logan's speeder bike.

Meghan: Ah!
Logan: *Looks back* We're leaving a trail. We have to find a way to lose them without leaving a trace. *Goes right*
Naboo Trooper 53: Nous les perdons. Envoyez cinq vélos speeder pour les intercepter. (We are losing them. Send five speeder bikes to intercept them)
Logan: *Sees a stream, and slows down as he goes left, against the current*
Meghan: Why are we slowing down?
Logan: Don't worry, those rocks will give us cover. We have to take it slow, otherwise they'll hear us. Plus we don't want to slow down the current. That could also give away our position.

But behind them, were five speeder bikes. Each being driven by a Naboo Trooper.

Meghan: Looks like your plan didn't work.
Logan: *Speeds up*
Meghan: What if they shoot us?
Logan: Don't worry, their bikes have no blasters, and their rifles are too big to carry while riding. At least we lost the tanks.
Meghan: True.
Logan: *Goes right, heading away from the stream*
Naboo Troopers: *Following Logan*
Logan: *Holding his KH70* Take my blaster, and knock one of them off, will you?
Meghan: But I can't use a blaster!
Logan: Our lives depend on it Meghan!
Meghan: *Points back, and shoots the first rider*
Naboo Trooper: *Falls off his speeder bike*

The second one crashed, causing an explosion. He killed himself along with the third one.

Naboo Trooper 64: *Stops* Go after him, I'm putting out the fire!
Naboo Tooper 75: On it. *Passes the wreck* But I can't find them.
Logan: *Stops in an abandoned castle* Go inside one of those rooms, will you?
Meghan: *Goes into the room next to the speeder bike*
Logan: *Covering up the speeder bike with vines, then opens up one of the cabinets* In case you get too close. *Takes out a detpack, and activates it. He places it in front of the speeder bike*
Naboo Trooper 75: *Riding towards the castle*
Logan: *Walks up next to Meghan* Hey.
Meghan: Ah! *Turns around, and sees Logan* Oh it's you.
Logan: Now stay silent. I hear one of them coming.
Naboo Trooper 75: *Passes the castle, then starts to ride around it*
Logan: *Listening to the engine* He's circling around. Stay down. *Lays on the floor with Meghan*
Naboo Trooper 75: *Looking into the castle through the windows, then talks on a walkie talkie* Je les ai perdues. Revenant pour se regrouper. (I lost them. Heading back to regroup.)
Logan: *Gets up, watching the trooper ride away* Okay, you're safe. Get up.
Meghan: *Stands up* Now what?
Logan: *Walks to his detpack* Well.
Meghan: *Following Logan*
Logan: *Deactivates the detpack, putting it back into the cabinet* We won't be needing that. *Walks with Meghan outside of the castle* The sun is starting to go down. We'll make a fire, and have ourselves a cook out.

The fire was inside the castle, in one of the abandoned rooms. Logan and Meghan sat down, enjoying the warmth, and light it was providing. They were also enjoying hot dogs.

Logan: Where are you heading?
Meghan: I have to meet a Geonosian in Beebee.
Logan: Beebee? That's not far from where I'm heading. I need to get to Soudera within.. *Checks his watch* 45 hours.
Meghan: Really? What for?
Logan: For a job. I'm a bounty hunter.
Meghan: I guess that explains why you stole some things like you told me earlier.
Logan: I'm just making my way through life, like everybody else in this galaxy.
Meghan: How about that lightsaber?
Logan: What about it?
Meghan: Did you steal that from a jedi?
Logan: No, I never even encountered one. It's funny how I have a weapon used by them, even though I never met one.
Meghan: Do you know how to use the force?
Logan: Never learned. Never had the interest, but I think it's important to have a weapon that gives you an advantage over a blaster.
Meghan: How did you get the lightsaber?
Logan: I built it. I found a kyber crystal in Jedha five years ago, which gave me the idea to start building one. It wasn't easy, but I found all the parts I needed on Cloud City, along with the drill.
Meghan: A drill?
Logan: In case I need to dig.
Meghan: Do you mind if I ask what your job is on this planet?
Logan: To help push Naboo out of this planet. Is that why you're going to meet your friend in Beebee?
Meghan: Yes. I need to help save some prisoners before they're killed.
Logan: Well I'll be glad to help you out, as long as it doesn't hold us up for long.
Meghan: Thank you brother Logan.
Logan: You don't have to call me brother, but we could get some more firewood. You mind getting more for us?
Meghan: Sure. *Walks away to get more wood*

But as Meghan was out of the castle collecting more wood, she took out a bottle of whisky, and began to drink it.

Logan: *Laying down, relaxing. He watches Meghan walk over with more wood* Excellent. Put it down next to the fire, I'll take care of it.
Meghan: *Puts the five pieces of wood next to the fire*
Logan: *Takes two pieces, and puts it in the fire*
Meghan: Were you always a bounty hunter?
Logan: Not always. When I was 17 I fought for Yavin 4 in a civil war against the southern sector of the planet. I left a year later, and that's when I became a bounty hunter. Stole some army supplies, and sold them to get my ship, and speeder bike. I don't like that planet. I don't want anything to do with Yavin 4, or anyone from that planet.
Meghan: Why did you fight in the war then?
Logan: *Opens his water canteen* Everybody has the right to be a sucker at least once. *Drinks his water* Let's get some shut eye. We should leave early tomorrow morning. *Grabs a few blankets from another cabinet on his speeder bike* That floor is uncomfortable without one of these. Take one.
Meghan: *Grabs a blanket* Thank you. *Lays down, and falls asleep
Logan: *Gives Meghan a second blanket, leaving himself with two more*

It was dawn when Meghan woke up to see Logan's foot on her stomach.

Logan: Good morning. *Takes his foot off of her* We gotta get going.
Meghan: *Yawns as she gets up* First time I ever had a man wake me up.
Logan: *Picks up his blankets* Probably because being a nun and all, you're not allowed to date men.
Meghan: That is true. *Watches Logan walk back to his speeder* Are you married Logan?
Logan: Nope. *Puts his blankets back in the cabinet*
Meghan: *Throws her blankets to Logan* Ever dated anyone?
Logan: *Catches the blankets, and puts them back too* Nope.
Meghan: Ever wanted to?
Logan: *Stares at Meghan* Nope.
Meghan: *Walks to Logan* Why not?
Logan: What for? So I could have someone tell me what to do, or when to do it? Tell me to stop spending my credits? Nag non-stop about other shit? No thanks. Not interested. *Gets on the speeder bike* Hurry up and get on board.

On the way to Beebee, Logan and Meghan stopped in another town.

Meghan: This will be a good place to look for a blaster.
Logan: Aren't you forbidden to use blasters?
Meghan: I already used yours once. I might as well have my own.
Logan: Alright, you find yourself a blaster. I gotta get two more detpacks. We'll meet back at the speeder bike.
Geonosians: *Flying past, carrying Geonosian Carbines*
Logan: *Looks up at the Geonosians*
Meghan: *Looks at a wooden blaster rifle*
Dealer: I stole this from one of Naboo's soldiers after I killed him. Take it.
Meghan: What do I owe you?
Dealer: Nothing. Take it, please. Anything for a nun such as yourself is free.
Meghan: *Takes the rifle* Much obliged.
Geonosian: Bloo bloo tokai!
Logan: Alright thanks. We'll clear out once I get my detpacks.

Meghan was waiting for Logan. She saw him walking back with the detpacks he wanted.

Logan: Good, you got your blaster. Get on.
Meghan: What now?
Logan: We gotta go south. Enemy soldiers are coming towards us in tanks. *Gets on the speeder bike with Meghan, and rides away*
Meghan: But Beebee is north.
Logan: We won't make it there if Naboo's soldiers spot us. We'll make our way west, and give ourselves enough distance from them to start making our way back to Beebee. Tell me more about the Geonosian you're meeting.
Meghan: Aside from saving prisoners, we spoke about sabotaging one of their convoys on a river.
Logan: So this convoy has boats.
Meghan: Yeah, but I need more information.
Logan: Alright.

It was night. Meghan was sleeping.

Logan: *Pokes Meghan with his foot*
Meghan: *Wakes up, and looks at Logan*
Logan: I want you up in that tree.
Meghan: Why?
Logan: I heard something growling.

Song: link

Meghan: *Goes to the tree, but can't climb up*
Logan: Go on, I'll help you. *Puts his hands on Meghan's butt, and pushes her up*
Meghan: Oh! *Makes it up onto a thick branch*
Logan: *Turns on his lightsaber*
Geonosians: *Flying towards Logan*

Stop the song

Logan: *Turns off his lightsaber*
Geonosian: Floo, ka floo floo!
Logan: Good to know. Thank you.
Geonosians: *Flying away*
Logan: Alright, you can come down. *Helps Meghan down from the tree*
Meghan: What happened?
Logan: Our Geonosian friends saw the monster before we did. They didn't say what it was, but it's gone now. It's time to get back to sleep.
Meghan: *Lays down with Logan*
Logan: Anyway, I hope you don't mind where I put my hands to help you up the tree.
Meghan: Oh that's okay Logan. I've had many people touch my ass before.
Logan: *Sits up, giving Meghan a shocked look* Where'd you learn that word?
Meghan: What word?
Logan: Ass.
Meghan: Oh, another nun. Met her once in Wayland. She was teaching me, and a few other nuns different words for parts of the human body. Was a little drunk, and said a few words she shouldn't have.
Logan: I'd sure like to know what she did before becoming a nun. Heck, it might not even hurt to check out that planet.

Song (Start at 0:05): link

On their way to Soudera, Logan and Meghan stopped at the town of Beebee. Soldier's from Naboo's army were all over the town.

Logan: *Stops behind a rock*

Stop the song

Logan: I'll stay out of sight here while you go save the prisoners, and get more info about that convoy.
Meghan: Okay.
Logan: Remember, if you need my help, transmit two green lights on your wrist communicator.
Meghan: I got it. *Walks down the mountain*
Logan: *Sits down, and smokes a cigarette*
Meghan: *Reaches a Geonosian wearing a necklace with a triangle made out of carbonite* I'm here.
Geonosian: Where have you been? They're going to execute the prisoners.

Seven Geonosians were leaning on a wall. Naboo soldiers were pointing blasters at them.

Naboo Captain: Prêt!
Naboo Soldiers: *Grabbing their blasters*
Naboo Captain: Objectif!
Naboo Soldiers: *Pointing them at the prisoners*
Geonosian: I'm afraid we can't do anything.
Naboo Captain: Feu!
Naboo Soldiers: *Shooting the Geonosians*
Meghan: At least we have more information about the convoy.
Geonosian: Quite. You must go to the bridge outside of Soudera. It goes over the river that the convoy is using to bring reinforcements & supplies into the town.
Meghan: My friend has a couple of detpacks. They'll come in handy.
Geonosian: Good. Go now.
Meghan: *Running to Logan*

But before she could even make it up the hill, someone grabbed her shoulder.

Meghan: *Turns around, and looks at two men*
Jeremy: Are you a nurse?
Meghan: Yes.
Alain: You must come with us.
Jeremy: *Pulling Meghan into the building*
Alain: One of our officers was wounded while fighting Geonosians.
Jeremy: Wait here. *Walks to a Major, laying in a bed* Excusez-moi monsieur. Nous avons trouvé une infirmière pour vous aider. (Excuse me sir. We found a nurse to help you.)
Naboo Major: Apportez-la ici.
Meghan: *Walks over to the Major*
Naboo Major: *Sees Meghan, and becomes angry* Non! Qu'est-ce que cette chienne fait ici? Elle aide les Géonosiens! *Dies*
Meghan: *Scared* I don't understand. I've never seen him before!
Alain: I'm sorry. We gave him a lot of champagne yesterday. He was probably still drunk.
Jeremy: You are free to go.
Meghan: *Walks out of the building*

Song (Start at 0:05): link

But when she got to the top of the hill, Meghan was running frantically towards Logan.

Logan: *Watching Meghan*
Meghan: *Grabs a bottle of whiskey, and starts drinking all of it*

Stop the song

Logan: Whoa, whoa there! Settle down!!!
Meghan: They saw me. I nearly got caught.
Logan: What the hell are you on about?!
Meghan: A Major, saw me.
Logan: What did he do about it?
Meghan: Nothing. He's dead.
Logan: Alright, so what are you worried about?
Meghan: There was more of them. When he told them I was helping the Geonosians, they thought he was drunk. I didn't know what to do!
Logan: Alright, look. You made it out of there in one piece. Did you get any info about that convoy?
Meghan: They're heading for Soudera. We can use the bridge just out of town to stop them.
Logan: Alright. I know what to do. *Gets on his speeder bike* Come on Meghan. *Starts up the bike* Let's send those bastards from Naboo to hell.
Meghan: *Climbs on behind Logan* Sounds interesting.
Logan: *Starts to ride*
Meghan: I have never seen people get sent to hell before.

A few miles out of town

Logan: *Riding his speeder bike up a mountain*
Meghan: *Looking at more mountains to the right*

Song: link

Suddenly, a bullet hit Logan's shoulder.

Logan: Ah! *Falls off the speeder bike*
Meghan: *Gets down next to Logan, then looks up* Sand people.
Logan: What are you talking about?
Meghan: They're not like the sand people in Tatooine.
Logan: Yeah, well I can tell that they don't use sticks, but what else is different about these sand people?
Meghan: Besides using antique blasters, *Holds out her cross* They are superstitious.
Logan: *Holding his KH70 blaster* That's not going to help sister.
Meghan: Put your blaster away brother Logan. I know what I'm doing.
Sand People: *Looking at the cross*
Sand Person 43: *Pointing his gun at Meghan*
Sand Person 56: *Pushes the gun* Let them pass. They do no harm. Pala leekee tarma!!!!!! *Leaves with the other Geonosian sand people*

Stop the song

Meghan: Can you get up?
Logan: If you give me a hand, sure.
Meghan: *Helps Logan stand up* See how powerful the lord is brother Logan?
Logan: *Gets on the speeder bike* Yeah, sure. Stop calling me brother.
Meghan: *Gets on behind Logan, angry* Sorry.

They rode towards a small abandoned shed. A big pile of wood was outside. Logan was leaning on it while Meghan was inside, trying to find a way to get the bullet out of her friend.

Logan: *Singing a song while carrying a bottle of whiskey* I've been to Aargonar, Abafar, Abednedo, Abhean, Abregado-Rae, Absanz, Adumar, Aeten, Affa, Agamar, Agaris, Agarian, Ahakista, Ahch-To, Ai'ken Prime, Akiva, Akuria, Alderaan, Aleen, Algarian, Alpheridies, and Alpinn. See what I mean? Yeah.
Meghan: *Walks outside, listening to Logan's song*
Logan: I've been everywhere man, I crossed the outer rim man, I breathed the mountain air man, I traveled & done my share man. I've been everywhere.
Meghan: There's no way you've been to all those planets.
Logan: No, it's just a song. It's a long one too, but it doesn't feature every single planet. That would be a pain in the ass to sing about.
Meghan: Well, I found something that might help us with your bullet. *Holding a small magnetic pole* Stick this into your wound, and pull out the bullet.
Logan: Then get to it. *Drinking more whiskey*
Meghan: You shouldn't drink all that. You could get drunk.
Logan: Too late. I'm drunk. *Continues his song* I've been to Balamak, Balmorra, Balosar, Balnab, Bamayar, Bardotta, Bastatha, Basteel, Bastion, Bavva, what the hell is that other planet?
Meghan: *Pulls out the bullet*
Logan: Ooh. *Looks at the bullet on Meghan's magnetic pole* Good work sister.
Meghan: Thank you Logan.
Logan: You know. You're really beautiful. *Hugs Meghan* You smell like bantha fodder, but you're still fun to be with.
Meghan: I'm sure if you weren't drunk, you wouldn't say things like that. I'm going to forgive you, and pretend it never happened.
Logan: No no. *Leans his head on her shoulder* It did happen. Take your clothes off sister. Take your- *Falls down*

Logan woke up, only to find himself sitting next to the speeder bike.

Logan: *Looks at the wood pile he was leaning on* What the?
Meghan: You passed out. I thought I'd take you over to your speeder bike.
Logan: How much time passed since you took out the bullet?
Meghan: An hour.
Logan: An hour?! The convoy probably already passed under the bridge. We need to go now!
Meghan: Are you still feeling drunk?
Logan: Yeah, you need to drive. I'll hold onto you until we reach the bridge.
Meghan: *Starts the speeder bike*
Logan: *Holding onto Meghan*
Meghan: *Moves forward*

They reached the bridge that went over the river to Soudera.

Logan: Oh joy. That's a beautiful bridge. It would be a shame if it fell, and took down a boat. Or two.
Meghan: Should you even handle those explosives while you're intoxicated?
Logan: You're going to. I'll help you out, and then you walk across, and set up the 2nd detpack yourself.
Meghan: We're setting up two detpacks at the same time?
Logan: Yeah.
Meghan: That's not even possible. The detonator will only allow one detpack to explode.
Logan: That's where you're wrong. I got another detonator for that second detpack. Your rifle.
Meghan: You're going to shoot the 2nd detpack?
Logan: Not until you set it up. Let's get to it. *Walks with Meghan*

They reached the first part of the bridge, and Logan set up the first detpack.

Logan: We're also going to cut off some of the supports to make it weaker. *Turns on his lightsaber. He can barely hold it steady as he cuts off one of the support beams on the side*
Meghan: It's a miracle you haven't cut off your legs.
Logan: *Turns off his lightsaber* Okay, now you do it. *Gives Meghan his lightsaber* Get out there, and get the 2nd detpack set up, and cut off one of the supports.
Meghan: *Grabs the lightsaber, and a 2nd detpack. She goes to the other end of the bridge*

Meghan felt nervous as she walked to the other end of the bridge, but she placed the 2nd detpack on the ground, and cut off a support beam on the side.

Logan: *Watching Meghan use his lightsaber*
Meghan: *Turns off the lightsaber, and runs to Logan*
Logan: Alright, good. *Grabs Meghan's rifle from the speeder bike*
Meghan: You can't shoot that detpack.
Logan: What are you talking about?
Meghan: You could barely keep your hand steady while you were using the lightsaber.
Logan: Look, I don't need you telling me what I can, and cannot do. I'm the man. I know what I can, and cannot do.
Meghan: Alright, let's see if you can hit something similar to the size of that detpack.
Logan: Like what?
Meghan: *Looks at a rock on top of a boulder* Like that rock over there. Can you hit that rock?
Logan: *Holding up the rifle* That'll be easy. *Pointing it at the rock, but he can barely keep it still. He fires once, shooting the ground to the right*
Meghan: Ooh!!
Logan: Let me try again. *Pointing the rifle too high, and shoots a tree*
Meghan: Ooh! With your wound, it makes things even worse! You'll never get sober in time!
Logan: Don't worry. Just set us up some hot coffee, and I'll be ready.

But then, Meghan looked at a group of five boats, moving up the river to reach Soudera.

Meghan: *Making a fist* I'll fix you up some hot coffee alright!!!
Logan: *Falls down again, and is fast asleep*
Meghan: *Punching Logan* Sober up you drunk son of a bitch!! *Watching the convoy get closer to the bridge. She grabs the rifle, and shoots the detpack on the far side of the bridge. Once it explodes, she grabs the detonator, and sets off the other detpack*

The bridge fell towards the river, demolishing the first two boats. The explosion caused the other three boats to be destroyed.

Logan: *Wakes up*
Meghan: Look Logan! I did it!
Logan: Great. Now let me ask you something. Did I, or did I not hear you call me a son of a bitch?
Meghan: You must have imagined it when you were drunk.

Song: link

Logan & Meghan found another way to cross the stream, and arrived in the town of Soudera.

Logan: *Stops in front of a cantina*
Meghan: What are we doing here?
Logan: Meeting my client. *Gets off of the speeder bike* Let's go.
Meghan: *Walks with Logan to the cantina*

Stop the song, and play this one: link

Logan & Meghan were the only humans inside the cantina. Everyone else was a Geonosian.

Logan: *Sits down with Meghan*
Geonosian Waiter: *Walks over to the table*
Logan: Hi. I'd like a bottle of 78 year old champagne imported from Naboo.
Geonosian Waiter: Hm?
Logan: I said I'd like a bottle of 78 year old champagne imported from Naboo.
Geonosian Waiter: Un momento. *Walks away*
Logan: Great. I'm given a code, and I can't get the damn Geonosian to speak Basic. How am I supposed to use the code?

A Geonosian youngling returned with the waiter.

Logan: *Looks at the youngling*
Geonosian Waiter: He speak Basic.
Logan: You speak Basic?
Geonosian Youngling: Yes, but I don't know many words.
Logan: Do you know any other Geonosians that are fluent in Basic?
Geonosian Youngling: My father. Follow. *Walks outside*
Logan: *Walks with Meghan as he follows the youngling*

Stop the song. Behind the cantina was a small house. The youngling's parents were inside.

Geonosian Father: *Laying down in a bed*
Geonosian Mother: Para too flooooow!
Logan: What did she say?
Geonosian Youngling: My father is sick. He has a fever.
Logan: Is he awake?
Geonosian Father: Yes. You're early.
Logan: Only by a couple of hours.
Geonosian Father: True. I cannot go with you. You will meet a Major Delgado. He is in the Geonosian army, but is human.
Logan: I haven't seen Delgado in a long time. Where do I find him?
Geonosian Father: Travel three miles north, to a cave on a hill. You can't miss it.
Logan: I don't plan to. Thanks for your help old friend.
Geonosian Father: *Chuckles* In 30 years, you'll be old too. Take care Logan.
Logan: You too. *Walks out of the house*
Meghan: You two know each other?
Logan: He's one of my oldest clients.

Logan & Meghan were riding the speeder bike up a hill, passing a rock. Suddenly, a net popped up, stopping the two.

Logan: Whoa.
Men: *Climbing down from the rock. They point blasters at Logan & Meghan*
Man 53: Are you with Naboo's army?
Logan: No, I'm here to see Major Delgado.
Man 56: You mean Colonel Delgado!
Logan: I don't care what rank he is, I just want to see him!
Man 56: Get off the bike. Any funny business, and you both die.

Song: link

Man 53: Get off!! Now!
Logan: *Gets off the speeder bike with Meghan*
Man 56: Up the hill. Get moving!
Logan & Meghan: *Walking together up the hill*
Man 53: And put your hands up!
Logan & Meghan: *Putting their hands up*

When they reached the top of the hill, dozens of Geonosians were watching them. The Geonosians were unloading weapons & supplies from boxes, and putting them in speeders, and ships.

Man 56: Stop here.
Logan & Meghan: *Stop walking*
Man 53: Sargent, get Delgado.
Man 75: Right sir. *Walks into a cave to get Delgado*
Meghan: What's Delgado like?
Logan: You'll see soon.
Meghan: Are you friends with him?
Logan: Let's put it this way. If I didn't leave Yavin's Civil war, we'd get along just fine.

Stop the song

Major Delgado: *Walks out of the cave*
Logan: Wait, I thought you said he was a Colonel.
Major Delgado: It's a disguise. Naboo will execute anyone over the rank of Major.
Logan: How did you get to be a Colonel so quickly?
Major Delgado: Never mind that. What are you doing here?
Logan: I was told to find you. A Geonosian said you could help me end Naboo's raid on this planet.
Major Delgado: At the moment, we're a bit short of supplies.
Logan: What do you need?
Major Delgado: A couple of rifles, thermal detonators, and a few rockets wouldn't hurt anybody.
Logan: When do you need them?
Major Delgado: In 48 hours. We start our attack then.
Logan: Why?
Meghan: It's because of a holiday. Naboo celebrates the anniversary of Cignal Kine's leadership.
Major Delgado: What's more, their second in command, Serran Konhella, has his birthday. By the time we stroll up to their fortress, they'll be asleep from drinking too much champagne.
Logan: And you catch them off-guard. Smart plan.
Major Delgado: And that's how I became a Colonel. Don't tell anyone though. I don't feel like losing my brains.
Logan: Understood. Let's get some credits to buy your weapons.

When nightfall arrived at the cave, several Geonosians returned with a bag full of credits.

Major Delgado: *Looking at the credits* This isn't enough.
Logan: What are you talking about?
Major Delgado: We need 15,000 more credits! We have 45,000, but we need 60,000.
Logan: Did you sell all the things you didn't need?
Major Delgado: Yes.
Logan: What about your men?
Major Delgado: Of course they did.
Logan: How the hell are we going to get the rest of the credits that we need?
Meghan: *Takes off her cross* This is worth 64,000 credits. Take it.
Logan: Are you allowed to do that?
Meghan: I want to. To help you, and your cause.
Major Delgado: Most generous of you sister.

Song: link

Next morning, Logan was riding his speeder bike towards another abandoned castle. Meghan was riding another speeder bike towards him. They stopped next to each other, and both got off.

Logan: Mornin' Meghan.
Meghan: Good morning Logan.
Meghan: *Takes out a bag of blasters*

Stop the song

Logan: I see you got the weapons for Delgado, and his soldiers.
Meghan: What were you just doing earlier?
Logan: I was on my way to buy a few more detpacks.
Meghan: Already taken care of.
Logan: How many did you get?
Meghan: Four.
Logan: That's wonderful. Thank you. Let's go back to the camp.

Song (Start at 0:40): link

Logan, Meghan, Major Delgado and the others were at another castle. This one was not abandoned, and it provided a good view to the enemy fortress they were planning to raid. The group of humans, and Geonosians walked up a flight of stairs, then walked alongside a cliff. They stopped after walking a few feet, and looked at the enemy fortress.

Stop the song

Major Delgado: *Looking at a lot of Naboo soldiers*
Logan: They're not sleeping!
Human 63: They're the complete opposite of drunk.
Logan: Maybe you got your calendar mixed up Meghan.
Meghan: I swear, today is the day that they celebrate Cignal Kine's anniversary as the leader of Naboo.
Major Delgado: It was those boats you destroyed. Your sabotage must have put them on full alert.
Logan: Alright, so we find another way to sneak in.
Major Delgado: Forget it. The attack is being called off.
Logan: You can't call off the attack. We're this close to killing their leader!
Meghan: Gentlemen!

They stopped arguing, and looked at Meghan.

Meghan: I know someone who can help us.

A lady by the name of Ess R' Tee was with other women. They were in a house when they heard a knock on the door.

Ess R' Tee: I'll get it. *Goes to the door, and opens it. He sees Meghan with Logan, Major Delgado, and his army* This is a nice surprise. Everyone, come in.
Meghan: *Walks in with his friends*
Ess R' Tee: *Hugs Meghan, putting her hands on Meghan's butt*
Logan: *Looks at Ess R' Tee grabbing Meghan's butt, and takes a step back*
Meghan: *Takes off her nun outfit*
Major Delgado: What kind of nun are you?
Meghan: Oh I'm not a nun. In fact I live here. This is a whore house.
Logan: *Angry, he pushes Meghan away from the others* Day, and night? Night, and day?! You made a sucker out of me?!
Meghan: I'm sorry. You left me no choice.
Logan: What do you mean I left you no choice?
Meghan: When you first met me after killing those bandits, you said you'd leave me behind if I wasn't a nun.
Logan: Son of a bitch.
Ess R' Tee: Look, it doesn't matter. We need to get you, and your squad into the fortress in order to kill Cignal Kine.
Meghan: We have a secret passage from here to the fortress where Kine, and some others are held up. This building used to belong to Naboo's army.
Ess R' Tee: Until one day, they sold it to me. Your attacks caused that.

Ess R' Tee opened the secret door after moving a carpet, and the whole squadron started walking through the tunnel.

Geonosians: *Holding torches*
Logan: Did you lie about your name too?
Meghan: No. My name is Meghan.
Major Delgado: How much further until we reach the entrance to their main building?
Ess R' Tee: Not far now.

When they got close however, a fence was blocking their path.

Logan: When did this get put here?
Ess R' Tee: I don't understand.
Major Delgado: Boats. Sabotage.
Logan: Alright, you don't have to bring that up.
Meghan: They must have put this up recently.
Ess R' Tee: I don't have a key to open this.
Logan: It's safe to say that the rest of us don't have a key either.
Meghan: Use a detpack to blast it open then.
Logan: Are you stupid? They'll hear us.
Major Delgado: We need to keep a low profile in order to enter the base.
Meghan: Then I have another idea. Logan, you're a bounty hunter, right?
Logan: Right.
Meghan: Take me inside with you.
Logan: That's worse than the first plan.
Meghan: It's okay.
Logan: I won't risk your life like that. We gotta come up with another plan.
Meghan: Listen Logan. Everyone has the right to be a sucker at least once. *Hugs Logan as he kisses him*
Logan: Alright, let's do it.

Jeremy, and Alain were in the main building with Serran Konhella, and Cignal Kine. All four of them heard five knocks on the front door.

Serran: I'll get it. *Opens the door, and sees Logan pointing his pistol at Meghan's head* May I help you?
Logan: *Speaking in an Irish accent* You want this girl, don't you?
Serran: Yes. Come in, please.
Logan: *Pushes Meghan into the building*
Serran: Cignal, we have a bounty hunter with an enemy from the Geonosian army.
Cignal: *Looks at Logan, and Meghan* Ah, nice. Come sit down you two.
Logan: *Sits down at the table with Meghan*
Meghan: You bastards won't get away with this. The Geonosians, and it's army will defeat you all.
Jeremy: *Looking at Meghan*
Alain: *Looking at Logan*
Logan: That's enough out of you.
Alain: You are a bounty hunter?
Logan: Yes.
Alain: Where are you from?
Logan: Coruscant. Right in the middle of it's south pole.
Jeremy: That would explain your accent.
Alain: You ever been to Geonosis before?
Logan: No.

Suddenly, they heard some Geonosians singing a song. They were singing in their own language, and were carrying a piñata. On the sides, it said A Gift From Geonosis. Little did they know, that there were two detpacks in the piñata.

Cignal: Ah, looks like the Geonosians are bringing us a gift. Have you ever heard of a piñata?
Logan: *Shakes his head* What's that?
Cignal: It's a little animal made out of cardboard, and paper. They usually hang it on a tree, and hide candy inside.
Logan: Sounds like fun.
Waiter: *Arrives with a cart of food* Dinner is served.
Cignal: Thank you. Let the guests eat first.
Meghan: How considerate of you.
Logan: Charmed.

The Geonosians placed the piñata in front of the main entrance, and began to walk away, still singing the song.

Ess R' Tee: *Watching through the scope of a rifle* Wait for it.
Major Delgado: *Behind the fence in the secret tunnel, placing another detpack onto the lock*
Geonosians: *Getting behind a building*
Ess R' Tee: *Aims at the piñata* Now. *Shoots the detpacks in the piñata, causing a big explosion*
Major Delgado: *Sets off his detpack, opening the gate*
Cignal: What was that?
Logan: *Shoots Cignal in the forehead, then turns on his lightsaber*
Serran: *Shoots at Logan*
Logan: *Blocks the shot, reflecting it back to Serran*
Serran: *Gets hit in the chest, and falls down*
Logan: *Shoots Alain with his pistol, then hits Jeremy in the stomach with his lightsaber*
Naboo Soldier 63: There's an ambush going on!!
Naboo Soldiers: *Running out of a building with rifles*
Geonosians: *Run into the building, taking some of their rifles*
Logan: *Helps Major Delgado up out of the tunnel* Come on.
Ess R' Tee: *Shoots one of Naboo's soldiers*
Naboo Soldier 95: *Looks to the left, spotting Ess R' Tee* Up there! Sniper!
Ess R' Tee: *Shoots another soldier*
Naboo Soldier 95: *Holding his wound as he falls down*
Geonosians: *Running out of a building with the stolen rifles, shooting at Naboo Soldiers*
Naboo Soldiers: *Returning fire at the Geonosians*
Logan: *Stops as he looks at the crossfire* Through the back. *Turns around with Major Delgado, Meghan, several humans, and ten more Geonosians* Meghan, take this. *Gives her his pistol*
Meghan: Won't you need it?
Logan: I have a lightsaber.
Major Delgado: With a drill.

They ran out the back, but more enemy soldiers were waiting, firing their rifles at them.

Logan: *Backs up with the others, and closes the door*
Meghan: That was close.

More Geonosians arrived to help out the squad of other Geonosians, fighting Naboo's soldiers at the front of the main building.

Geonosian 30: *Firing his carbine*
Naboo Soldiers: *Get hit by the blast from the carbine, and move back*
Logan: *Opens the door*
Naboo Soldiers: *Firing their rifles*
Logan: *Uses his lightsaber to block a few of the shots, making them go back*

Only two of them hit one of the soldiers. Not far away, behind the Naboo soldiers, was another building. They had reinforcements, and one of their soldiers was using a heavy machine gun. It was an old belt-fed machine gun that used bullets instead of lasers.

Geonosians: *Running out of the building*
Major Delgado: Wait!
Geonosians: *Flying up, towards the machine gun*
Naboo Soldier 28: *Using the machine gun to shoot the Geonosians*
Logan: It's up to me. The rest of you stay here. *Runs out of the building*
Meghan: *Watching Logan*
Naboo Soldier 28: *Shooting at Logan*
Logan: *Blocking the bullets. He runs to the door, and is under the other soldiers*
Naboo Soldier 28: Get down there and kill him!
Naboo Soldiers: *Running towards the stairs*
Logan: *Moves the doorknob* It's locked. I gotta use the drill. *Turns off his lightsaber, and activates the drill. Since the door is made out of wood, he quickly makes a hole*
Naboo Soldiers: *Looks at the hole, and spots Logan. They fire at him*
Logan: *Moves to the right, and turns his lightsaber back on while deactivating the drill*
Naboo Soldiers: *Moving closer to the door*
Logan: *Moves in front of them, and hits one of them with his lightsaber*
Naboo Soldier 16: *Fires at Logan*
Logan: *Blocks the blast, which goes back and passes through the soldier's head, going through the other two soldiers in the process, also through the head*

After that, he ran upstairs.

Naboo Soldier 28: *Turns around with his machine gun, placing it on the floor as he lays down, firing at Logan*
Logan: *Throws his lightsaber, watching it hit the soldier in his face. He walks over to the soldier, and takes his lightsaber, turning off the blade*
Naboo Soldiers: *Running out of another room*
Logan: *Gets down, and uses the machine gun to kill them. Some bullets hit a door, making it fall down. Once it does, Logan finds a small safe*

Logan dragged the safe into the house, and walked towards a door.

Logan: *Knocks on the door*
Meghan: Just a second.
Logan: This can't wait.
Meghan: Yes it can.
Logan: No it can't! *Hits the door with the safe, and knocks it down. He sees Meghan laying in a bathtub with warm water, and plenty of bubbles*
Meghan: *Looks at Logan* The least you can do is take off your glasses.
Logan: *Puts the safe on the ground, and gets into the bathtub*
Meghan: *Hugs Logan as she pulls him towards her*

Song (Start at 3:31): link

Water splashed out of the tub, landing on the floor as Meghan moaned in pleasure.

Next day, Logan was riding his speeder bike back to his ship. He stopped behind the ship, and turned around to look behind him.

Meghan: *Riding her own speeder bike, and is wearing a red and black dress* An orange lightsaber, new clothes, and a speeder bike. What will you buy me next?
Logan: Help me on my next job in Dathomir, and we'll figure it out from there.

Cast

Sean Bodine as Logan
Amanda Licciardi as Meghan
Joshua Nilsen as Major Delgado
Craig Sheffer as Jeremy Perrash
Rob Paulsen as Alain Melvoin
Bruce Penhall as Serran Konhella
Larry Storch as Cignal Kine
Tabby Rutowski as Ess R' Tee

The End

This has been a SeanTheHedgehog Production from July 27, 2017.