Dead to the World-Unguarded Affection
The fourth book is a pivotal and paramount book in the series in terms of Eric & Sookie. In the 1st chapter Bill confronts Sookie. He tried to explain but the bottomline was that he lied, raped and nearly killed her in the trunk. He wasn't the "great-guy" or "knight in shining armor" that she had built him up to be. And, to confuse her even more, let's just say Eric--the guy she had always thought to be the exact opposite--was turning out to be well...different.
When she picked him up on the side of the road and decidedly risked her life to help him she acknowledges that: 1) the reason she was helping him was bc he "had the intelligence to give her what she wanted" i.e. the driveway; 2) while he had wanted her to go to bed w/ him for months, "He'd given her the driveway bc she needed it."
When they go to sleep the first night, she comments on his "puppy dog eyes." And, realizes that he is completely unarmed. She describes laying in bed with him..."Because he sounded so lost--the Eric I knew had never been one to do anything other than assume others should serve him--I patted around under the covers for this hand. When I found it, I slid my own over it. His palm was turned up to meet my palm, and his fingers clasped mine. And though I would have not have thought it was possible to go to sleep holding hands with a vampire, that's exactly what I did."- (pg. 26)
One of the things that I found interesting about their talks by the fire was that CH has stated that Un-Eric maintained his character--that if he had never regained his memory that he would eventually return to Real Eric. That being said, during the "fireplace talks" I got the impression that Eric, real or not, is still very good at judging character. For example he states that: "Sookie is the kind of woman who would stop for him even though she was afraid." -(pg. 49) And, when they talk about her and Bill, he asks if Bill loves her (pg. 51). To me that says that Eric is the kind of vampire/man that is capable of loving. Also, when she goes off on tangent asking if "he could believe someone could torture someone they'd made love with?" i.e. Lorena, Eric shook his head disbelievingly. IMO much of the reason they "get" each other is bc they share similar values like that.
When she walks in on him "butt naked" her lust for him goes through the roof. Though she maintains a bit of sanity by teasing herself, "if there were an international butt competition he would win--hands down--or cheeks up."- (pg. 119) I think it scares her that she has such an intense desire for him. She sort of fancies herself as a southern belle that wouldn't ever react in that way but by the time he slips into the shower with her, all bets are off. She remarks that if it had been Real Eric she would have been able to resist him (which for the record, I call BS). Heck, the man got to 3rd base only weeks before.
I may have imagined it but I felt like the shower scene and their "first time" was written in much greater detail than any of the prior Bill escapades. It also seemed to be written with more meaning and on a much deeper level than with Bill or Quinn. The part that sticks out the most to me is when Eric says (while making love) "Don't close your eyes. Look at me, lover." Her internal response: The way he said "lover" was like a caress, like he was calling me by a name no other man had ever used before or ever would later. -(pg. 123) And afterwards, when she tells him she wished she could save orgasms, he laughs. She is comforted by this laughter bc it reminds her of Real Eric (whom she admits to liking, however perverse). All in all, what stands out the most to me is the fact that their time together is intimate, affectionate and playful. I just feel a sense of ease between them that isn't forced. It's like the full package.
At the Supe meeting at Merlotte's (and Ashley/aye17 mentioned this), Claudine and much of the Supe world see how captivated Eric is with Sookie. Claudine accuses him of "being in the habit of doing what human women ask of him?" (pg. 175-directly referring to Sookie). Later, Sookie is able to intervene when the fairy blood intoxicates Eric into a frenzy. "Snap out of it!" She demanded, standing between him and Claudine. At first he reacts as though "she were a fly buzzing around his head." But he later looked down at her face. "I want her," he said, his blue eyes blazing down into hers. "Well, she's gorgeous," Sookie admitted, trying to seem reasonable but really she was a little hurt. (pg. 182). He pushes against her but never becomes physical or overpowering (which we all know he very well could have). I surmise that his reaction was unique to Sookie bc of her fairy blood and his devotion to her.
Much of the plotlines from the following books can be explained by what happens at the "meeting." I don't find it difficult to understand why the Supe world would assume that Sookie is "important" to Eric. He defended her honor when Amanda called her a "vamp humper," he holds her close to him, and they leave together. Before the "witch war" they were even more "connected at the hip," for lack of better words.
To reel this in, I will try to only cover the key points. I think the ultimate moment for me was when Sookie confides in Eric about being used to poor treatment, i.e. crazy Sookie syndrome, and among other things he tells her "she is beautiful." No one had ever looked her in the eyes and said that. But, he wasn't done yet. "You are smart, and you are loyal," he continued relentlessly, despite her waving his praise off. "You have a sense of fun and adventure." She tells him to "cut it out" bc obviously flattery is something that she is uncomfortable with (I myself can understand, it can be awkward and even scary, depending on the situation). But, still he doesn't back down. "Make me...You have the most beautiful breasts I've ever seen. You're brave." She tried to cover his mouth with a finger to dissuade him from continuing but failed. "You're responsible and hardworking," She replaced her fingers with his lips and after a long moment, "there," he said softly, "you're creative too." (pg. 188) **Swoon** Can I do that again? Swoon, I mean. I'm so weak!lol
To me this was his way of providing her with why she is "his heart's desire, without even knowing it." And, if I recall correctly, CH wouldn't speculate on Sookie's idea of True Love. However, in Mr. Right, she thinks Sookie is looking for:" true love and mutual respect. She does not need to be pampered; she doesn't mind hard work." IMO, true love does not have a definition; it is undefined and felt. I feel Un-Eric (who is essentially Real Eric) respects Sookie in a way that no one else has; and she obviously respects him. I don't think two other characters challenge each other in the same way as ES. He applauds the fact that she is hard-working and he doesn't pamper her he supports her. Okay---off tangent.
When Sookie asks Eric to look deep inside himself and tell her if he is really sorry or worried about Jason. He ultimately admits, to his own surprise, that he is not. He knows he should be in order to stay in good graces. BC of this Sookie assumes ( I believe this is the theory that she was testing out) that Eric only agrees to listen to her, if she needs to talk, to ensure she will have sex with him. He agrees but not in whole. It is "also because he finds that he really does... have feelings for her." (pg.211). And she (though she hated to admit it) shares those feelings. "Not love, exactly." "No, but something close." Honestly, I was glad that their feelings weren't "love." I mean when she claimed to love Bill in the first book after only knowing him for like 5 seconds, okay, more like a few weeks, I just shook my head and pitied her. First love...so naive. Not to mention at this point she and Eric had only been "serious," if you even want to call it that, for a couple days. I felt like the exchange was an admission of hope. Kinda like the promise ring before the engagement ring? Does that make any sense?
Something also needs to be said about the fact that Sookie turned down his offer to turn back, leave all of the political shit aside, and basically to marry the man who for the last few nights had made her genuinely happy. Why would the self-proclaimed idiot turn down an offer like that? Because it wouldn't have been Real Eric (to her) and their relationship would have been "counterfeit." Someone mentioned this ( I can't remember who) but I completely agree, that this action represents a "if you love something, set it free...if it comes back to you it is yours, and if it doesn't it was never yours to begin with." It is a sacrifice...but it is also a test of will or fate, and I think the enormity of that action resonates with Eric when he regains all his memory.
Now, let me first say: I don't want to offend any Bill Sympathizers--yea that's what I call them, I'm like the FoTS for Bill Lovers. But anyways, his presence at the witch war was purely entertainment for me. It was NOT HIM COMING IN AND SAVING THE DAY, as I have heard argued before. Not only was he forced to see firsthand the affection between ES, he provided skilled fighting that would stack the odds of the good guys. And, if for some reason he wouldn't make it out, I didn't care. I was only disappointed that Eric didn't address him as "her unfaithful former boyfriend," as he had earlier in bed (pg. 124).
After the witch war, Sookie walks off (like an idiot, by herself) and luckily Eric catches up with her. He asks her why she left without telling him, yada yada, but he seems deeply concerned. One of the reasons I think Sookie was in such shock was that her little "vacation" with Eric was soon to be over. He pleads with her to let him stay the night bc he doesn't know Fangstasia vamps and she concedes. It is at this point that she expresses how much it hurt her inside when Eric says something that was so contrary to his normal personality(pg. 256) But more importantly, she wonders if she was actually seeing Eric's true nature (which I can only assume CH was confirming when she addressed the question regarding his amnesia). Sookie ponders whether the exterior of Eric, his arrogance and flash, are just "masks" he's taken on over the years. My vote is YES!
When they return to her home in Bon Temps, I think we all know that Eric, once again takes a bullet for Sookie. But, he also confirms that he was the one who saved her life during the witch war when Debbie had attacked her. Also, after Sookie shoots Debbie dead, he rationalizes with her about the incident and makes her feel less terrible about the result. He levels with her and I think that is important to Sookie in a man. Plus, he helps clean up and dispose of the dead body. I think it was mentioned before...who wouldn't love a guy that was willing to do that! Provided dead bodies always piled up...which it is not the case outside Sookieverse.
I love her inner thoughts as she is waiting for Eric to return. She contemplates how lethal she is to her suitors exes. It is such a random thought but she considers Eric's old girlfriends in the equation, along with Bill's and Alcides--acknowledging that her actions were what one might call "personal". And, after concluding that there must be over a 100 or so of Eric's exes around, she makes a mental note that they beware! (pg.262)
Unfortunately, by the next night Eric has regained his memory and must return to his duties as Sherrif. Still, he makes sure to give her the promised money and then some( $50,000), plus he secures her door. Maybe I'm reaching here, but I feel like he knew she needed it, without being told, and did so bc he knew she wouldn't take it on any other condition. To see her reaction, knowing that she wouldn't have to worry anymore that she could just relax, (pg 286) it was, I dunno...touching.
He comes to see her the next night and you can just tell that he's at a loss. I mean, literally he is. He has no memory. Though, I think that Sookie played her cards right in not eluding to anything even though she admits that it is hard to bear the weight of knowing what they shared...the intimacy, alone.
I love when Eric is telling her how" he's sending lots of flowers to Belinda and a wolf named Maria-Comet or something." (pg 287) and she corrects him, it's Maria-Star Cooper. I don't know why that last part gets me but it does...every time. He so easily dismisses most people--she is the exception.
The book ends with Eric leaving, giving her instructions to wear her lighter coat tonight and to get rid of the old one...burn it to be exact. And, "she knew, as sure as she knew her name, that tomorrow he would send her another coat, in a big fancy box, with a big bow on it. It would be the right size, it would be a top brand, and it would be warm." -(pg. 291). Now, why might that coat have some significance or sentimental value later?
In summary, I think this book allowed Eric and Sookie to "throw away the cover" "the masks" that they both wear to maintain in control. The message I take away from it is that underneath all the BS they are meant to be...they are soul mates... and this book introduced that. The curse inadvertently caused their union. Because of that, in this book Eric and Sookie both seem a shade out of character. Perhaps...they are truly happy? And, I take that as how they would be if they were both unguarded, fly by the seat of their pants kind of people (almost too good to be true). Book 4 gave a taste of what could be...and the following books build on the reality that love is complicated, but in its truest sense worth it. And, that's what it seems they move towards accepting: the fact that they CAN have both...if they want it.
The fourth book is a pivotal and paramount book in the series in terms of Eric & Sookie. In the 1st chapter Bill confronts Sookie. He tried to explain but the bottomline was that he lied, raped and nearly killed her in the trunk. He wasn't the "great-guy" or "knight in shining armor" that she had built him up to be. And, to confuse her even more, let's just say Eric--the guy she had always thought to be the exact opposite--was turning out to be well...different.
When she picked him up on the side of the road and decidedly risked her life to help him she acknowledges that: 1) the reason she was helping him was bc he "had the intelligence to give her what she wanted" i.e. the driveway; 2) while he had wanted her to go to bed w/ him for months, "He'd given her the driveway bc she needed it."
When they go to sleep the first night, she comments on his "puppy dog eyes." And, realizes that he is completely unarmed. She describes laying in bed with him..."Because he sounded so lost--the Eric I knew had never been one to do anything other than assume others should serve him--I patted around under the covers for this hand. When I found it, I slid my own over it. His palm was turned up to meet my palm, and his fingers clasped mine. And though I would have not have thought it was possible to go to sleep holding hands with a vampire, that's exactly what I did."- (pg. 26)
One of the things that I found interesting about their talks by the fire was that CH has stated that Un-Eric maintained his character--that if he had never regained his memory that he would eventually return to Real Eric. That being said, during the "fireplace talks" I got the impression that Eric, real or not, is still very good at judging character. For example he states that: "Sookie is the kind of woman who would stop for him even though she was afraid." -(pg. 49) And, when they talk about her and Bill, he asks if Bill loves her (pg. 51). To me that says that Eric is the kind of vampire/man that is capable of loving. Also, when she goes off on tangent asking if "he could believe someone could torture someone they'd made love with?" i.e. Lorena, Eric shook his head disbelievingly. IMO much of the reason they "get" each other is bc they share similar values like that.
When she walks in on him "butt naked" her lust for him goes through the roof. Though she maintains a bit of sanity by teasing herself, "if there were an international butt competition he would win--hands down--or cheeks up."- (pg. 119) I think it scares her that she has such an intense desire for him. She sort of fancies herself as a southern belle that wouldn't ever react in that way but by the time he slips into the shower with her, all bets are off. She remarks that if it had been Real Eric she would have been able to resist him (which for the record, I call BS). Heck, the man got to 3rd base only weeks before.
I may have imagined it but I felt like the shower scene and their "first time" was written in much greater detail than any of the prior Bill escapades. It also seemed to be written with more meaning and on a much deeper level than with Bill or Quinn. The part that sticks out the most to me is when Eric says (while making love) "Don't close your eyes. Look at me, lover." Her internal response: The way he said "lover" was like a caress, like he was calling me by a name no other man had ever used before or ever would later. -(pg. 123) And afterwards, when she tells him she wished she could save orgasms, he laughs. She is comforted by this laughter bc it reminds her of Real Eric (whom she admits to liking, however perverse). All in all, what stands out the most to me is the fact that their time together is intimate, affectionate and playful. I just feel a sense of ease between them that isn't forced. It's like the full package.
At the Supe meeting at Merlotte's (and Ashley/aye17 mentioned this), Claudine and much of the Supe world see how captivated Eric is with Sookie. Claudine accuses him of "being in the habit of doing what human women ask of him?" (pg. 175-directly referring to Sookie). Later, Sookie is able to intervene when the fairy blood intoxicates Eric into a frenzy. "Snap out of it!" She demanded, standing between him and Claudine. At first he reacts as though "she were a fly buzzing around his head." But he later looked down at her face. "I want her," he said, his blue eyes blazing down into hers. "Well, she's gorgeous," Sookie admitted, trying to seem reasonable but really she was a little hurt. (pg. 182). He pushes against her but never becomes physical or overpowering (which we all know he very well could have). I surmise that his reaction was unique to Sookie bc of her fairy blood and his devotion to her.
Much of the plotlines from the following books can be explained by what happens at the "meeting." I don't find it difficult to understand why the Supe world would assume that Sookie is "important" to Eric. He defended her honor when Amanda called her a "vamp humper," he holds her close to him, and they leave together. Before the "witch war" they were even more "connected at the hip," for lack of better words.
To reel this in, I will try to only cover the key points. I think the ultimate moment for me was when Sookie confides in Eric about being used to poor treatment, i.e. crazy Sookie syndrome, and among other things he tells her "she is beautiful." No one had ever looked her in the eyes and said that. But, he wasn't done yet. "You are smart, and you are loyal," he continued relentlessly, despite her waving his praise off. "You have a sense of fun and adventure." She tells him to "cut it out" bc obviously flattery is something that she is uncomfortable with (I myself can understand, it can be awkward and even scary, depending on the situation). But, still he doesn't back down. "Make me...You have the most beautiful breasts I've ever seen. You're brave." She tried to cover his mouth with a finger to dissuade him from continuing but failed. "You're responsible and hardworking," She replaced her fingers with his lips and after a long moment, "there," he said softly, "you're creative too." (pg. 188) **Swoon** Can I do that again? Swoon, I mean. I'm so weak!lol
To me this was his way of providing her with why she is "his heart's desire, without even knowing it." And, if I recall correctly, CH wouldn't speculate on Sookie's idea of True Love. However, in Mr. Right, she thinks Sookie is looking for:" true love and mutual respect. She does not need to be pampered; she doesn't mind hard work." IMO, true love does not have a definition; it is undefined and felt. I feel Un-Eric (who is essentially Real Eric) respects Sookie in a way that no one else has; and she obviously respects him. I don't think two other characters challenge each other in the same way as ES. He applauds the fact that she is hard-working and he doesn't pamper her he supports her. Okay---off tangent.
When Sookie asks Eric to look deep inside himself and tell her if he is really sorry or worried about Jason. He ultimately admits, to his own surprise, that he is not. He knows he should be in order to stay in good graces. BC of this Sookie assumes ( I believe this is the theory that she was testing out) that Eric only agrees to listen to her, if she needs to talk, to ensure she will have sex with him. He agrees but not in whole. It is "also because he finds that he really does... have feelings for her." (pg.211). And she (though she hated to admit it) shares those feelings. "Not love, exactly." "No, but something close." Honestly, I was glad that their feelings weren't "love." I mean when she claimed to love Bill in the first book after only knowing him for like 5 seconds, okay, more like a few weeks, I just shook my head and pitied her. First love...so naive. Not to mention at this point she and Eric had only been "serious," if you even want to call it that, for a couple days. I felt like the exchange was an admission of hope. Kinda like the promise ring before the engagement ring? Does that make any sense?
Something also needs to be said about the fact that Sookie turned down his offer to turn back, leave all of the political shit aside, and basically to marry the man who for the last few nights had made her genuinely happy. Why would the self-proclaimed idiot turn down an offer like that? Because it wouldn't have been Real Eric (to her) and their relationship would have been "counterfeit." Someone mentioned this ( I can't remember who) but I completely agree, that this action represents a "if you love something, set it free...if it comes back to you it is yours, and if it doesn't it was never yours to begin with." It is a sacrifice...but it is also a test of will or fate, and I think the enormity of that action resonates with Eric when he regains all his memory.
Now, let me first say: I don't want to offend any Bill Sympathizers--yea that's what I call them, I'm like the FoTS for Bill Lovers. But anyways, his presence at the witch war was purely entertainment for me. It was NOT HIM COMING IN AND SAVING THE DAY, as I have heard argued before. Not only was he forced to see firsthand the affection between ES, he provided skilled fighting that would stack the odds of the good guys. And, if for some reason he wouldn't make it out, I didn't care. I was only disappointed that Eric didn't address him as "her unfaithful former boyfriend," as he had earlier in bed (pg. 124).
After the witch war, Sookie walks off (like an idiot, by herself) and luckily Eric catches up with her. He asks her why she left without telling him, yada yada, but he seems deeply concerned. One of the reasons I think Sookie was in such shock was that her little "vacation" with Eric was soon to be over. He pleads with her to let him stay the night bc he doesn't know Fangstasia vamps and she concedes. It is at this point that she expresses how much it hurt her inside when Eric says something that was so contrary to his normal personality(pg. 256) But more importantly, she wonders if she was actually seeing Eric's true nature (which I can only assume CH was confirming when she addressed the question regarding his amnesia). Sookie ponders whether the exterior of Eric, his arrogance and flash, are just "masks" he's taken on over the years. My vote is YES!
When they return to her home in Bon Temps, I think we all know that Eric, once again takes a bullet for Sookie. But, he also confirms that he was the one who saved her life during the witch war when Debbie had attacked her. Also, after Sookie shoots Debbie dead, he rationalizes with her about the incident and makes her feel less terrible about the result. He levels with her and I think that is important to Sookie in a man. Plus, he helps clean up and dispose of the dead body. I think it was mentioned before...who wouldn't love a guy that was willing to do that! Provided dead bodies always piled up...which it is not the case outside Sookieverse.
I love her inner thoughts as she is waiting for Eric to return. She contemplates how lethal she is to her suitors exes. It is such a random thought but she considers Eric's old girlfriends in the equation, along with Bill's and Alcides--acknowledging that her actions were what one might call "personal". And, after concluding that there must be over a 100 or so of Eric's exes around, she makes a mental note that they beware! (pg.262)
Unfortunately, by the next night Eric has regained his memory and must return to his duties as Sherrif. Still, he makes sure to give her the promised money and then some( $50,000), plus he secures her door. Maybe I'm reaching here, but I feel like he knew she needed it, without being told, and did so bc he knew she wouldn't take it on any other condition. To see her reaction, knowing that she wouldn't have to worry anymore that she could just relax, (pg 286) it was, I dunno...touching.
He comes to see her the next night and you can just tell that he's at a loss. I mean, literally he is. He has no memory. Though, I think that Sookie played her cards right in not eluding to anything even though she admits that it is hard to bear the weight of knowing what they shared...the intimacy, alone.
I love when Eric is telling her how" he's sending lots of flowers to Belinda and a wolf named Maria-Comet or something." (pg 287) and she corrects him, it's Maria-Star Cooper. I don't know why that last part gets me but it does...every time. He so easily dismisses most people--she is the exception.
The book ends with Eric leaving, giving her instructions to wear her lighter coat tonight and to get rid of the old one...burn it to be exact. And, "she knew, as sure as she knew her name, that tomorrow he would send her another coat, in a big fancy box, with a big bow on it. It would be the right size, it would be a top brand, and it would be warm." -(pg. 291). Now, why might that coat have some significance or sentimental value later?
In summary, I think this book allowed Eric and Sookie to "throw away the cover" "the masks" that they both wear to maintain in control. The message I take away from it is that underneath all the BS they are meant to be...they are soul mates... and this book introduced that. The curse inadvertently caused their union. Because of that, in this book Eric and Sookie both seem a shade out of character. Perhaps...they are truly happy? And, I take that as how they would be if they were both unguarded, fly by the seat of their pants kind of people (almost too good to be true). Book 4 gave a taste of what could be...and the following books build on the reality that love is complicated, but in its truest sense worth it. And, that's what it seems they move towards accepting: the fact that they CAN have both...if they want it.
