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posted by blackpanther666
[Arrival of the Cataclysm! Mankind Meets The Enforcer?!]

-January 2051, Christchurch, New Zealand-

It is a bitterly cold day; the wind is almost gale-force and hail has been coming for almost an hour. Buildings are rubble on most occasions, their foundations and structure completely ruined, just a picture of destruction and chaos; earthquakes are rampant in Christchurch and around the region of the Alpine Fault, where two major fault-lines converge – the Indo-Australian Fault and the Pacific Fault. The whole area is hit by minor earthquakes every day and, on fair occasion, even major ones hit, sometimes exceeding a Magnitude of 8. Only a few citizens inhabit Christchurch now, and particularly in areas closer to the outskirts, like Hornby and Halswell, along with several other main districts. The CBD is fairly uninhabited, a mostly desolate area of ghetto-like buildings and old streets, torn up from the various shocks each day.

David looked around in the quiet shopping mall. He was supposed to be getting supplies and then head back to the observatory. However, he got distracted and decided to wander for a time, looking at various products lining the shop windows. Ever since he had published his thesis, he had been rather restless and had decided to leave the Massey University and take a job in Christchurch, where was working for the government. His work consisted of ecological, biological and environmental science based research. Because of the change in weather patterns and the unpredictable, harsh weather, many endemic species were fast dying out and his was his job to find out why, along with several other qualified biologists, ecologists and environmental scientists. So far, they had discovered that global warming was the main contributor, where the weather had become far more harsh and seasonal changes had been drastically effected. Sometimes, even though summer was supposed to have hot weather, sometimes it was opposite – even in winter there had been exceptionally warm days. However, David was more concerned with the effect on various species and had found out some interesting information. Because the species weren't used to such unpredictable weather and such choppy seasonal changes, they weren't able to properly adapt to the weather any more, and so, many species had died out and some had even gone extinct.

David left the mall, headed for his car and drove back to the observatory. West Melton had an observatory and various scientists had done meteorological work there, testing different changes in weather. Annually, they would check to see how the instruments were responding and what new statistics they could collect as data. Then, they would process this data and check to see how to compared to the previous year's. David was tired when he arrived at the observatory – he decided to take the data quickly, then retire back to the place he was currently living, which was a modest two bedroom house, with the bare minimum required to live.

On his way back, he decided to check out area near the hills. Since he lived on Cashmere Hills, he thought that it would be nice to take a drive up to the top and stop for a while and see what the wildlife was like up there. Being one of the few residents on Cashmere Hills, he found it easy to drive around the surrounding area, though he had only lived up there for about a year and didn't actually stop very often. Taking a hard-right turn, he headed up to Victoria Park, a place that had once been popular, but due to the earthquakes, had been all but abandoned. He hopped out of the car and took a leisurely walk, his breath clouding the air in front of him. Even though it was January, today had been particularly freezing, the temperature dropping to a low of -1 degrees Celsius, which had been unheard of once upon a time, but was now fairly common, even in summer.

David cursed when he felt raindrops hit his head and turned around, heading back towards his car. It seemed like it was about to change to a Southwesterly front, which would probably bring a decent storm. He froze – there was a shape moving near him, deep in the bushes. He inched closer, curious, even though he was wary. The shape moved and suddenly he felt himself collide with an object and land on his back. He cursed again and jumped up, looking around to see what it was that had hit him, or bumped into him. He was shocked when he saw a filthy man in front of him, wearing some kind of robes, or something of the sort. In addition, he was carrying a long walking stick, which had a gnarled piece near the top, where a wrinkled hand met it, clasping it tightly.

'Well, what are you staring at?' The figure addressed him calmly.

David looked back, his heart racing and a look of bewilderment on his face. 'Er, er... Nothing? Who, or, what, are you?'

The man, if you could call him that, raised his eyebrows. 'I am no-one you have ever met before... One might decide to name me the Nature Mage. I am the advocate for Her.'

'Her?' David replied automatically.

'Yes, the lenient being you stand upon right now. I am referring to Mother Nature, or Gaia, as some choose to address Her. You see, we are in an age where She has decided to rid Herself of any parasites living off of her. Humans have been desecrating Her for thousands of years and She is sick of it. I am here to warn you humans to change your ways very quickly, otherwise you will most likely die out.'

'What are you talking about? I'm not religious – I don't believe any of that crap!'

The Nature Mage shook his head. 'It doesn't matter what you believe... I can see that you rely on science, but science is part of Her, it is merely the studies that human refer to of Her and Her Brethren. Nature is everywhere, except where humans have built. Soon all that will be gone and nothing will remain, just a forgotten age. Believe, or not, but don't forget and maybe you'll be able to save the lives of the human race. Otherwise, you're all goners.'

'I don't believe you. We know what is occurring, environmentally, and we are working to stop it, while becoming more sustainable. But, I know better than to believe some crackpot story about the Earth being alive, being told from a dirty, old man wearing robes and using a shoddy, old walking stick. I'm going now...'

The old man shook his head. 'If you say so... I see I can't change your mind... Oh well, just remember that you were warned...' Then he faded back into the bushes and was gone in the space of a few seconds.

'Such bullshit...' David muttered, as he walked back to his car. He jumped in, drove off and went back home. Once home, he sat himself down in his study and read his biology textbook, while thinking of what the old man said the whole time.

-June 2051, Shanghai, China-

Xen Hao walked slowly, carrying a sack of rice. He was walking back to his home, when he was suddenly confronted by a large man, who had the look of a foreigner.

'You get out of way, now!!!' Xen Hao yelled in English, figuring the man was a Westerner, so he must speak English. However, he didn't move and simply stared at Xen Hao. Come to think of it, he was massive, about seven and half feet tall, and wearing dark robes, that seemed to hide his hands and legs. The hood he wore covered his face, enough so that Xen Hao couldn't really tell what he looked like. However, he couldn't be Chinese... Xen Hao had never seen a Chinese man over six and a half feet tall, which, in itself, was very uncommon.

'I said, you get out of way now!' Xen Hao yelled again, this time in Chinese. Suddenly, he was flying through the air, landing on his back and cracking it in several places. He looked up in horror. Even though he had flown several meters, the man was already standing right in front of where he had landed.

'Die.'

Xen Hao felt himself cower in fear and his pants filled with yellowy liquid, as his bowels relieved themselves. The man drew his hand as swiftly, and, a split-second later, that hand pierced right through Xen Hao's body, drawing a fountain of blood. Xen Hao just stared in realization. He coughed up a mound of blood, then felt his skin begin to melt away, as he began to fade around the hand. It was as though his entire being was being sucked up by the creature. Then, he crumbled and everything black.

'Despicable humans! You are nothing but parasites... Your presence is unwelcome on Earth. I will purify thy reaches of thy Mother. All humans will die by my hand, thy Hand of Thy Divine Creator.'

Then, he disappeared, in a flash, the naked eye probably not even perceiving the speed of such movement. When he appeared again, it was in a completely different location, about ten kilometers North of the location he had just left. He was right in the center of Shanghai. Where he had killed previously, was empty when he had killed the old Chinese man. However, even though many people had died, Shanghai still harbored about ten million people. The center of Shanghai was crowded at the moment and the Enforcer saw a chance to rid the world of even more pests. He descended from the air, his intangible body allowing him little weight, which was enough to glide through the air at ridiculous speeds. But, it was even more than that. Mother Nature Herself had granted the powers of a disciple within him. He was a powerful force – one so strong that he could influence the tides, the earth itself and even the great oceans of water. He could call Nature at his command and utilize it to destroy anything unnatural. When he descended, he drew many looks of sheer amazement, as the bugs crawled around him and gasped, pointing and crying out in excitement and shock. It was too much for him. Instead of moving, as they might have expected him to, he suddenly knelt, then brought his fists down onto the hard ground, causing a massive shockwave and the ground cracked like glass, sending reverberations around the whole of the city square, which began to crumble, as the now-unstable earth rumbled and shook. Houses and buildings crashed to the ground and people fled, screaming and crying madly.

The Enforcer vanished, drawing a hidden blade, made from obsidian, a gift from his Mother, the Mother Of All Things, Gaia Herself. He decapitated one Chinese man, then sped through the crowd of people, beheading and killing them at will, until he had finished the entire square was littered with thousands and thousands of bodies.

With one last gurgling scream, the last of the humans died and the Enforcer smiled with satisfaction and then left.
added by Sinna_Hime_chan
added by ButterlessToast
added by Sinna_Hime_chan
added by Lillysataniel
added by DarkCruz360
Source: Rightful owners not mine
added by blackpanther666
added by LoneWOLF2272
Source: https://yiffy.tk/
added by DarkCruz360
added by DarkCruz360
added by Sinna_Hime_chan
added by Sinna_Hime_chan
Source: Naruto, Kakashi Sensei
added by ButterlessToast
added by Sinna_Hime_chan
This was one of my favorite skits from older SNL & yet this is ALL I could find.
video
snl
christina ricci
chris kattan
emo
goth
too funny
added by AquaRhapsody
added by DarkCruz360
added by ButterlessToast
added by Sinna_Hime_chan
Source: me
added by DarkCruz360
Source: by 8bit wonderland from deviantart.com
added by Sinna_Hime_chan
Source: Cruz ~ he really liked this pose so I stole it! haha
added by Sinna_Hime_chan
Source: Ahri, League of Legends