It was my 16th birthday. All I wanted was to see Shrek. When i told my parents what I wanted, they laughed and called me a queer. I cried as they beat me mercilessly with my pet potato. All of a sudden, Shrek bursted through my window. He through my parents into our fireplace. The smell of my parents filled my nostrils. I thank Shrek. He whispers into my ear, "I'm making waffles now". He puts me on my knees and he shoves his massive ogre privates in my mouth. I can barely breathe but I carry on. I was nearly choking when he filled my mouth with his love. I felt like I was drowning but i would never say no to Shrek. We are all Shrek's children. Shrek watch over us all. Shrek is love, Shrek is life.
