Duke: You know, it's crazy how wrong you can be about a person. Just crazy. You think that they are one thing and then they turn out to be the exact opposite. You know what? Save it. We were supposed to be friends.
Viola: We are friends.
Duke: You don't even know the meaning of the word.
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: 5 (1 votes)5 (1 votes)5 (1 votes)5 (1 votes)5 (1 votes) | rate | e-card | correction
Viola (as Sebastian): I can do this. I am a dude. I am a hunky dude! I'm a badass hunky dude!
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Sebastian: Folks, I'm a boy. I promise.
Malcolm: Prove it.
Sebastian: Okay.
(pulls down his soccer shorts, everyone sees his privates)
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Viola (as Sebastian): Quit blushing... that's lame.
Duke: Shut up, I'm not blushing!
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Justin: Could you be a girl for just five seconds?
Viola: Ok...(counting to five on her fingers) First of all it's not a stupid soccer issue and... you're a jerk. Oh look at that, (looks at open hand) time's up. (slaps him in the face)
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Daphne: Nonsense! You don't need a man to wear a beautiful dress!
Paul: But it sure does help.
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Monique: Hello, Viola.
Viola: Oh, boy. This isn't good.
Monique: And hello to you little... homewrecker.
Olivia: Uh, who are you?
Monique: I am Sebastian's girlfriend.
Viola: Ex-Girl-Friend.
Monique: Okay. Everyone's gotta stop saying that.
Olivia: Oh. You're the girl he dumped in the pizza parlor the other day.
Monique: He did not dump me. We're just going through a rough patch.
Olivia: Really? 'Cause I heard he dumped you. He dumped you good. It was like a big, huge dumping.
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Viola: [as Sebastian] Hi, Eunice. Sorry for running out on our date.
Eunice: It's okay. My intensity scares some people.
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Duke: What're you gonna do, drown me in your tears?
Justin: I did not cry during that game. I had something in my eye.
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Duke: Hey... hey, why do you have tampons in your boot?
Viola: Uhh... I get really bad nosebleeds.
Andrew: So you stick them up your nose?
Viola: Yeah. What? You... you've never done that? Oh my god, Beckham does it all the time.
Duke: Seriously?
Viola: Yes. Look. Got to show you how to do it. You take that off, and whatever that is, and you stick it right in. It absorbs right up.
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Roger (after Viola lifts her shirt): Is it me or does this soccer game have more nudity than most?
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Viola: What does your heart tell you?
Duke: What?
Viola: I mean... which one would you rather see NAKED?
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Malcolm: I am convinced he's hiding something.
Principal Gold: Oh, nonsense, Malcolm. He may be a little lost and confused, but deep down he's an all-american, red-blooded male, just like yourself.
Viola: [walking by, dressed as Sebastian, while on the phone] Mom, I will pick out my own dress. And no, I will not wear high heels. Because heels are a male invention designed to make women's butts look smaller... and to make it harder for them to runaway.
Principal Gold: Malcolm, have you ever tried to run away in high heels?
Malcolm: No, sir, I...
Principal Gold: Not that easy. Not that easy...
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Olivia: We could double. I'm sure Eunice is available.
Eunice: I am so there, it's insane.
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Viola: What are you talking about? Why are you lying?
Justin: Viola! End of discussion.
Viola: Fine. End of relationship.
Justin: Baby, don't be like that. I just don't want to see you get hurt.
Viola: Aww. You are so full of...
Coach Pistonek: Back to practice.
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Viola (as Sebastian): So what about the thing we talked about it... that you're gonna do later?
Duke: What thing? I'm- I'm thingless.
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Viola: I just can't do this.
Paul: Just remember, inside every girl, there's a boy. That came out wrong, but you know what I mean.
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Olivia: You're right.
Viola: I know.
Olivia: The next time I see Sebastian, I am gonna march right up to him...
Viola: You march.
Olivia: ...I'm gonna tell him how I feel...
Viola: You tell him.
Olivia: ...and then I'm going to kiss him so passionately...
Viola: What?
Olivia: ...that even the people he hates will feel pleasure.
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Duke: Um, uh, ok, so, should I ask her out?
Viola: No. You don't want to freak her out; you've got to have a casual conversation first, hello?
Viola: Why do I get the feeling you don't do this very often?
Duke: Man, I just, I'm not really good at talking to girls.
Viola: Why? You're hot!
Duke: What?
Viola: Ya know, you're an appealing guy- man- guy- guy man.
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
(Viola gets hit in the crotch with a soccer ball)
Boys: OOOOHHHH...OWWWW.
Viola (as Sebastian): Huh? Oh. Right. OWW! OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! IT BURNS!
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Justin: That's right. Didn't score on me last half won't score on this half. I'm a ninja. Ninja Goalie.
More on: Sports
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Toby: How come when I wanted to ask Eunice out everyone made fun of me, but then Sebastian likes her and suddenly she's cool? Screw you guys. I hate high school.
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Viola (as Sebastian): So, uh, you play the beautiful game... bros... brothers... brethren?
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Toby: She's got a little somethin' somethin'.
Andrew: Yeah... asthma and headgear.
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Viola (as Sebastian, talking about herself): No man... if you wanna kiss her... You go right ahead and you kiss her! I mean, knock yourself out! You just take her... then kiss her. Then kiss the crap out of her!
Duke: Okay!
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
2 pages: 1 2
Viola: We are friends.
Duke: You don't even know the meaning of the word.
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: 5 (1 votes)5 (1 votes)5 (1 votes)5 (1 votes)5 (1 votes) | rate | e-card | correction
Viola (as Sebastian): I can do this. I am a dude. I am a hunky dude! I'm a badass hunky dude!
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Sebastian: Folks, I'm a boy. I promise.
Malcolm: Prove it.
Sebastian: Okay.
(pulls down his soccer shorts, everyone sees his privates)
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Viola (as Sebastian): Quit blushing... that's lame.
Duke: Shut up, I'm not blushing!
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Justin: Could you be a girl for just five seconds?
Viola: Ok...(counting to five on her fingers) First of all it's not a stupid soccer issue and... you're a jerk. Oh look at that, (looks at open hand) time's up. (slaps him in the face)
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Daphne: Nonsense! You don't need a man to wear a beautiful dress!
Paul: But it sure does help.
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Monique: Hello, Viola.
Viola: Oh, boy. This isn't good.
Monique: And hello to you little... homewrecker.
Olivia: Uh, who are you?
Monique: I am Sebastian's girlfriend.
Viola: Ex-Girl-Friend.
Monique: Okay. Everyone's gotta stop saying that.
Olivia: Oh. You're the girl he dumped in the pizza parlor the other day.
Monique: He did not dump me. We're just going through a rough patch.
Olivia: Really? 'Cause I heard he dumped you. He dumped you good. It was like a big, huge dumping.
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Viola: [as Sebastian] Hi, Eunice. Sorry for running out on our date.
Eunice: It's okay. My intensity scares some people.
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Duke: What're you gonna do, drown me in your tears?
Justin: I did not cry during that game. I had something in my eye.
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Duke: Hey... hey, why do you have tampons in your boot?
Viola: Uhh... I get really bad nosebleeds.
Andrew: So you stick them up your nose?
Viola: Yeah. What? You... you've never done that? Oh my god, Beckham does it all the time.
Duke: Seriously?
Viola: Yes. Look. Got to show you how to do it. You take that off, and whatever that is, and you stick it right in. It absorbs right up.
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Roger (after Viola lifts her shirt): Is it me or does this soccer game have more nudity than most?
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Viola: What does your heart tell you?
Duke: What?
Viola: I mean... which one would you rather see NAKED?
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Malcolm: I am convinced he's hiding something.
Principal Gold: Oh, nonsense, Malcolm. He may be a little lost and confused, but deep down he's an all-american, red-blooded male, just like yourself.
Viola: [walking by, dressed as Sebastian, while on the phone] Mom, I will pick out my own dress. And no, I will not wear high heels. Because heels are a male invention designed to make women's butts look smaller... and to make it harder for them to runaway.
Principal Gold: Malcolm, have you ever tried to run away in high heels?
Malcolm: No, sir, I...
Principal Gold: Not that easy. Not that easy...
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Olivia: We could double. I'm sure Eunice is available.
Eunice: I am so there, it's insane.
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Viola: What are you talking about? Why are you lying?
Justin: Viola! End of discussion.
Viola: Fine. End of relationship.
Justin: Baby, don't be like that. I just don't want to see you get hurt.
Viola: Aww. You are so full of...
Coach Pistonek: Back to practice.
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Viola (as Sebastian): So what about the thing we talked about it... that you're gonna do later?
Duke: What thing? I'm- I'm thingless.
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Viola: I just can't do this.
Paul: Just remember, inside every girl, there's a boy. That came out wrong, but you know what I mean.
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Olivia: You're right.
Viola: I know.
Olivia: The next time I see Sebastian, I am gonna march right up to him...
Viola: You march.
Olivia: ...I'm gonna tell him how I feel...
Viola: You tell him.
Olivia: ...and then I'm going to kiss him so passionately...
Viola: What?
Olivia: ...that even the people he hates will feel pleasure.
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Duke: Um, uh, ok, so, should I ask her out?
Viola: No. You don't want to freak her out; you've got to have a casual conversation first, hello?
Viola: Why do I get the feeling you don't do this very often?
Duke: Man, I just, I'm not really good at talking to girls.
Viola: Why? You're hot!
Duke: What?
Viola: Ya know, you're an appealing guy- man- guy- guy man.
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
(Viola gets hit in the crotch with a soccer ball)
Boys: OOOOHHHH...OWWWW.
Viola (as Sebastian): Huh? Oh. Right. OWW! OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! IT BURNS!
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Justin: That's right. Didn't score on me last half won't score on this half. I'm a ninja. Ninja Goalie.
More on: Sports
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Toby: How come when I wanted to ask Eunice out everyone made fun of me, but then Sebastian likes her and suddenly she's cool? Screw you guys. I hate high school.
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Viola (as Sebastian): So, uh, you play the beautiful game... bros... brothers... brethren?
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Toby: She's got a little somethin' somethin'.
Andrew: Yeah... asthma and headgear.
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
Viola (as Sebastian, talking about herself): No man... if you wanna kiss her... You go right ahead and you kiss her! I mean, knock yourself out! You just take her... then kiss her. Then kiss the crap out of her!
Duke: Okay!
Added by Lex on 12.30.2006 | Rating: no ratings yet | rate | e-card | correction
2 pages: 1 2