Shelley Duvall's Bedtime Stories Club
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Moe the dog was cold. His breath turned to ice on his whiskers. His ears were warm, but his earmuffs gave him a headache.
"I can't stand this," he said to his best friend Arlene. "A whole week's vacation to sit around and freeze."
"I can't stand it either," Arlene mumbled through her muffler. "Let's take in a movie."
So they trudged through the snow to see what was playing at the Roxy.


It turned out to be a double feature: Polar Voyage and Whales of the Arctic. Halfway through the first feature the heat broke down.
"Can you believe this?" groaned Moe. His popcorn had frozen solid. "The movies were...
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added by hornean
added by hornean
posted by hornean
Once upon a time there was a very old man and a very old woman. They lived in a nice clean house which had flowers all around it, except where the door was. But they couldn't be happy because they were so very lonely.


"If we only had a cat!" sighed the very old woman.
"A cat?" asked the very old man.
"Yes, a sweet little fluffy cat," said the very old woman.
"I will get you a cat, my dear," said the very old man.

And he set out over the hills to look for one. He climbed over the sunny hills. He trudged through the cool valleys. He walked a long, long time and at last he came to a hill which was...
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added by hornean
posted by hornean
One afternoon at an elegant garden party, young Elbert heard a word he had never heard before.


The word floated by Elbert like a small storm cloud. It was ugly and covered with dark, bristly hairs. With a swift flick of his wrist, Elbert snatched the word from the air and stuffed it into his back pocket.


Forgetting about it, the boy went on his way. But the word waited patiently. When Aunt Isabella sang opera in soprano, the word made itself small and flew into Elbert's mouth like a little gnat.


That's when the trouble began. Chives the Butler tried to balance too many trays of deviled eggs.

He...
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posted by hornean
Big tears rolled down Katy Kangaroo's brown face. Poor Katy was crying because she didn't have a pocket like other mother kangaroos. Freddy was Katy Kangaroo's little boy and he needed a pocket to ride in. All grown-up kangaroos take awfully big hops and little kangaroos, like Freddy, get left far behind unless their mothers have nice pockets to carry them in.
And poor Katy didn't have any pocket at all.


Katy Kangaroo cried just thinking about it, and Freddy cried, too.
Then, all of a sudden, Katy had a wonderful idea! It was so wonderful she jumped six feet up in the air.
The idea was this. Other...
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posted by hornean
There once was a boy who had weird parents.
No matter how many times he told them not to, the weird parents did weird things whenever they went out into the world.


In the morning the weird mother always walked the boy to his bus stop.
"Bye-bye, honeycakes!" she'd call.
Then as the bus drove away, she'd blow a huge kiss and press her hand to her heart.


At twelve o'clock when the boy opened his lunchbox, he's always have a weird surprise.


And in the afternoon the weird father always walked him home. But not before he shook hands with everyone he met.
"Pleased to meet you. How do you do? Isn't it a lovely...
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posted by hornean
Once upon time there was a little engine. Her name was CHOO CHOO. She was a beautiful little engine. All black and shiny.


CHOO CHOO had a whistle which went who WHOOOoooooo! when she came to the crossing.

CHOO CHOO had a BELL which went DING! DONG! DING! DONG! when she came to the station.


And a BRAKE which went sssssssSSSSSWISH!!! And just made an awful noise.

CHOO CHOO had an engineer. His name was JIM. Jim loved the little engine and took good care of her. He would shine and polish her till she looked like new and oil all the parts so they would run smoothly.


CHOO CHOO had a fireman. His name...
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posted by hornean
Monday was Ruby's first day in Miss Hart's class.
"Class, this is Ruby," announced Miss Hart. "Ruby, you may use the empty desk behind Angela. Angela is the girl with the pretty red bow in her hair."
Angela smiled at Ruby.
Ruby smiled at Angela's bow and tiptoed her seat.

"I hope everyone had a pleasant weekend," said Miss Hart. "Does anyone have something to share?"
"I was the flower girl at my sister's wedding," said Angela.
"That's exciting," said Miss Hart.

Ruby raised her hand halfway. "I was the flower girl at my sister's wedding, too."
"What a coincidence!" said Miss Hart.
Angela turned and smiled...
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added by CIANAT
added by hornean
Once there was a Little Rabbit who had soft pink ears, bright red eyes, and a short, fluffy tail. He was such a cute little rabbit. But he wasn't happy. He wanted to be somebody else instead of the nice little rabbit that he was.


Whenever Mr. Bushy Tail, the gray squirrel, passed by, the Little Rabbit would say to his mommy, "Oh Mommy! I wish I had a long gray tail like Mr. Bushy Tail's."

And whenever Mr. Porcupine passed by, the Little Rabbit would say to his mommy, "Oh Mommy! I wish I had a back full of bristles like Mr. Porcupine's."


And whenever Mrs. Puddle-Duck passed by in her two red flippers,...
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added by hornean
Patrick was helping his big brother, Hank, rake leaves.


"Where did they go?" asked Patrick.
"Who?" asked Hank.
"Dinosaurs, of course." Patrick never talked about anything else.
"Well some people think the world got too hot for dinosaurs," said Hank. "And some think it got too cold. Maybe an asteroid hit the earth and covered it with dust." He showered Patrick with a pile of leaves.
"That's not what I think," said Patrick.
"And what do you think?" asked his brother.


"I think that, once upon a time, dinosaurs and people were friends," said Patrick.
"There weren't any people then," said Hank. "Cave men...
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There used to be a nightmare in my closet.


Before going to sleep,

I always closed the closet door.


I was even afraid to turn around and look.


When I was safe in bed, I'd peek...

sometimes.


One night I decided to get rid of my nightmare once and for all.


As soon as the room was dark, I heard him creeping toward me.


Quickly, I turned on the light and caught him sitting at the foot of my bed.

"Go away, Nightmare, or I'll shoot you," I said.


I shot him anyway.

My nightmare began to cry.


I was mad...

but not too mad.


"Nightmare, be quiet or you'll wake Mommy and Daddy," I said.

He wouldn't stop crying so I took him by the hand


and tucked him in bed


and closed the closet door.


I suppose there's another nightmare in my closet, but my bed's not big enough for three.