Sex and Sexuality

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Sex and Sexuality Question

Do some people really go into relationships/marriages and have no sex?

...And is that really what you would call Asexual? Is he Asexual? I mean my boyfriend has never had sex and says he never wants to, even with me or not even when we get married. He just wants to kiss and make out a lot, but nothing much more than that, for the rest of our lives. The only time I even had sex was when I felt forced by an ex boyfriend and was then raped by him. I mean if I never have children then I could care less since I'm afraid of child birth pain and anything to do with my vagina pretty much. Children are wonderful, but I think they'd stress me too much anyway. So yeah I've never really had much sex either before, but sometimes I've felt horny in the past. Although I'm much more afraid of penis and could probably live without it (Almost went full on Lesbian.) or do you think I'd eventually feel sex starved if me and him never had sex? What do you all think about my situation here?
 MewStrawberry posted over a year ago
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Sex and Sexuality Answers

sarabeara said:
Asexuality is the lack of sexual attraction for other people. It doesn't necessarily mean you don't have a sex drive. There are loads of asexual people who wank constantly because they still get horny and need the release.

If you've never looked at a guy or a girl and thought "hm, I want to have sex with that person" or "I would totally have sex with that person" then you might be asexual. Based solely on your description of your boyfriend, he does sound asexual.

Yes, asexual people get married. They share the romantic/friendship aspect and just don't have sex. Not weird at all imo. Though as a disclaimer, all couples are different, and I have heard of asexual couples who will like jerk each other off. Not because they get anything out of it, but because they care about their partner and want to help them.

As for the rest of your paragraph, it's just word vomit. I'm sorry you were raped (the way it was thrown in so casually threw me off wtf) and that you are afraid of your own vagina. Idk what you mean by "almost went full on lesbian"??? And as for if you'd feel sex starved, that depends. Would you be okay with just getting yourself off/using a dildo for the rest of your life, or do you think you'd want a partner to have sex with? Only you can answer that question.

I suggest you research asexuality and see if it describes how you feel, because you seem very confused as to what asexuality actually is.
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posted over a year ago 
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I was not just being casual about my rape. Of course it really bothers me, but I'm trying to be strong about it. Really I'm even more afraid of penis now, because of my horrible experience and I don't want any objects going inside or coming out like if I got pregnant for example. Any pain coming to my vagina is what I'm afraid of that's all. Also...Actually I think it's just he's really afraid of sex too. No need to be mean about this topic though. I was just concerned and needed help. You kind of make me feel bad when you seem like you don't take me seriously and it's rude.
MewStrawberry posted over a year ago
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I apologize that you felt I was being mean, because that was not my intention at all. I know that tone is hard to convey online but I promise you that I was taking your post seriously. I just think there was a lot of information missing is all, so I was a bit confused. Once again, I'm sorry about your rape. That is HORRIBLE and if you're afraid of sex still because of it, I don't blame you at all. You were traumatized and you should take as long as you need to get comfortable. My advice is to have an open and honest conversation with your boyfriend. Have you guys ever talked about it? I think both of you talking about your fears would help a lot and would allow you to possibly understand what you want out of the relationship. An open and honest line of communication might clear a lot of your questions up, or at the very least ease some of your concerns.
sarabeara posted over a year ago
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