I absolutely LOVE Ferb Fletcheer on this show. He is my favorite character and every time he opens his mouth, I love hearing what he was to say. Here are all of the Ferb quotes that have been in every episode that has so far aired of "Phineas and Ferb".
Key:
Bold - The Ferb quote
(Italic) - An action during the scene
N/A - Ferb did not speak during episode
Rollercoaster
Isabella: Maybe you can teach Perry some tricks.
Phineas: Well, he is a platypus. They don’t do much.
Ferb: They’re the only mammals to lay eggs.
Phineas: Maybe he’ll lay an egg.
Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror
DJ: Slather on your sunscreen, listeners, ‘cause tomorrow’s weather calls for another scorcher.
Ferb: With a slight chance of scattered lawn gnomes.
Flop Starz
N/A
The Fast and the Phineas
N/A
Lights, Candace, Action
Phineas: I bet everyone we know saw it. Enjoy it while it lasts, Candace. Fame is fleeting…
Ferb: But the internet is forever.
Raging Bully
Phineas (to Buford): I like to keep moving forward.
Ferb: Sharks have to continue to move forward, or they’ll drown.
Buford: You callin’ me a shark?
(Ferb pinches a pressure point in Buford’s neck; he faints and falls.)
Phineas: Ferb!
Ferb: Well, he was all up in my face.
Candace Loses her Head
Phineas: Did you like your birthday present?
Candace: Uh-huh.
Ferb: Well, it was definitely better than the gorilla in the cake.
I, Brobot
N/A
Run Away Runway
Candace: Well, just remember, Gaston said I’ll always be his “coup de crayon”.
Ferb: You do realize that that’s French for pencil neck.
The Magnificent Few
(Candace is in a bad mood)
Linda: What was that about?
Ferb: I reckon herding cattle ain’t for city folk.
S’Winter
Isabella: Whatcha doin’?
Phineas: We’re making S’Winter.
Isabella: S’Winter?
Ferb: It’s a unique and logic-defying amalgam of winter and summer.
Jerk De Soleil
Buford: No, no. This is Buford’s moment to shine. (jumps into the mud pit) Hey, everybody, over here!
(Crowd cheers)
Phineas: Wait, how did he get down there?
Ferb: Perhaps Buford truly is amazing.
Are You My Mummy?
Ferb: You know, mummies have their brains pulled out through their nose.
Candace: (scoffs) The lucky ones.
I Scream, You Scream
Phineas: Ferb, you’re usually so focused. How’d you get those plans confused?
(Flashback shows that Ferb was daydreaming about Vanessa at “Blue Print Heaven”.)
Phineas: Hey Ferb, snap out of it. What happened back there?
Ferb: I was weak.
Toy to the World
(1)
Toy Factory Owner: So, how does everyone like my new suit?
(All employees answer positively)
Ferb: Um, that man isn’t wearing any clothes.
(2)
Phineas: Now who would buy a brick for a toy?
Ferb: It does absolutely nothing.
Get that Bigfoot Outta My Face!
Grandpa Flynn: (laughs) Still a man of few words, I see.
Ferb: Well, actually, I –
Grandpa Flynn: (interrupts Ferb) So, where’s your sister?
It’s a Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud World
Linda: Candace, why on Earth are you all covered in mud?
Ferb: Because she’s a tire-spinning, gear-grinding, clutch-burning, backfiring, paint-tradin’, red-linin’, overheatin’, throttle-stompin’, truck-drivin’ girl.
Candace: And I learned how to parallel park.
Linda: Great!
Mom’s Birthday
Phineas: Glad you liked the card, Mom.
Ferb: It’s a simple post-modern fusion of origami and pop-up.
Journey to the Center of Candace
(1)
Phineas: Yeah, we’re inside Candace’s stomach.
Ferb: That’s creepy on so many levels.
(2)
Phineas (talking about Candace): She’s on her date with Jeremy. That means we’re on a date with Jeremy.
Ferb: Again, creepy on so many levels.
It’s About Time!
(1)
Candace: Take me home! Take me home!
Phineas: Sure, Candace, no problem.
(The time machine gets stepped on by a dinosaur.)
Ferb: This could be a problem.
(2)
Candace: So Phineas, where’s the rescue party you sent for?
Phineas: Hmm. It just occurred to me that I may have misspelled “time machine” on the plans.
Ferb: Well, I hope that’s not going to be an issue.
(Isabella and the fire side girls show up.)
Phineas: Apparently not.
Dude, We’re Getting the Band Back Together!
(1)
(Bobbi Fabulous and Phineas finish “I’m Fabulous”.)
Ferb: May we take that as a yes?
(2)
Ferb (talking to Linda and Laurence): Well, don’t just stand there; kiss her!
Tree to Get Ready
Phineas: Well, Mom, you know what they say…
Ferb: Fun never falls too far from the treehouse.
The Ballad of Badbeard
Phineas: Well, Ferb, me ol’ matie, our first time out as pirates and we come home with a bounty of beards.
Ferb: And perhaps the greatest pirate story ever told.
Greece Lightning
Phineas: It’s okay, Ferb. She’s gone. You can look now.
Ferb: No. Not taking any chances.
Phineas: Hey, look, there’s Perry.
Ferb: Still not looking.
Leave the Busting to Us!
(1)
Candace (imitating Linda):” Why don’t you come in for snacks?”
Linda: Why don’t you come in for some snacks?
Candace (imitating Phineas): “Oh, there you are, Perry.”
Phineas: Oh, there you are, Perry.
Candace: And Ferb says…
Ferb: You know, gladiators were Roman, not Greek.
(2)
Candace (imitating Phineas): “Oh, there you are, Perry.”
Phineas: Oh, there you are, Perry.
Candace: And Ferb says…
Ferb: And that is why I will never wear suspenders in public.
Crack That Whip
(Candace’s rocket-powered roller skates make her fly.)
Jeremy: Hey guys. Candace around?
(Jeremy catches Candace.)
Ferb: Good catch, Jeremy.
Candace: Hee-hee. He sure is.
The Best Lazy Day Ever
Phineas: Oh, there you are, Perry.
Vance Ward (slowly): Where am I?
Ferb: And with handsome movie actor Vance Ward. He seems much faster on TV.
Boyfriend from 27,000 BC
Phineas: They say if you love something, let it go.
Ferb: Especially if it’s a caveman.
Phineas: Yeah. Especially if it’s a caveman.
Voyage to the Bottom of Buford
Phineas: I can’t believe how fast we put this together.
Ferb: Yes. Usually takes us at least a montage.
A Hard Day’s Knight
Lawrence: Anything interesting happen ‘round here?
Ferb: I hear there’s a new version of “Jane Eyre” in the offing.
Traffic Cam Caper
(Candace and Phineas watch as he, who they think is Ferb, flies away.)
Candace: Ferb? Ferb, where are you going?
Phineas: Ferb?
(Ferb slides to them.)
Ferb: What did I miss?
Candace: Huh?
Phineas: Well, that was almost weirder than the giant robot.
Bowl-R-Rama Drama
Phineas: The other is for the world’s largest game of pinball.
Host: Wow! Well, let’s see’em.
Ferb: Wait for it…
Got Game?
(1)
Isabella: This is my house.
Phineas: Technically, it’s our garage.
Ferb: She’s on a roll.
(2)
Buford (talking to Isabella): I guess you were right. Girls are just as good as boys. (to everyone) Thanks again. Woo-hoo, the” F-Games” rock.
Ferb: That was completely out of character.
Comet Kermillian
Candace: Just wait. When I’m 88, you will be so busted.
Ferb: Actually, you’d be 88 ½.
Candace: Whatever!
Put that Putter Away
Phineas: I still don’t know how we ended up at “Little Duffer’s”.
Ferb: I don’t know why we didn’t build it here in the first place.
Does This Duckbill Make Me Look Fat?
Candace: You guys are so busted. I’m telling Mom.
Ferb: You might consider bathing first.
Ready for the Betty’s
(1)
Phineas: Looks like we’re gonna be secret agents, huh? When did you find the time to build all this, Ferb?
Ferb: Actually, I-
Major Monogram (interrupts Ferb): Hello, Agent P. Hang on. Hang on. It’s here somewhere on this clipboard from which I have yet to look up.
Phineas: Agent P: P for Phineas. Nice touch, Ferb.
Ferb: Actually-
(Major Monogram interrupts Ferb and continues what he is saying.)
(2)
Phineas: You really thought of everything, Ferb.
Ferb: Actually-
Phineas (interrupts Ferb): Hold that thought.
(3)
Phineas: By the way, I love that giant ray gun counting down to zero. Okay, seriously, when did you make all this?
Ferb: Look, for the last time, I didn’t-
(The ray gun fires, once again, interrupting Ferb.)
(4)
Phineas: Mom, Mom, guess what Ferb did. He made a secret tunnel and a spy headquarters and a villain’s lair and a hover-jet shaped like Perry. Tell her, Ferb.
Ferb: Actually, I-
Linda (interrupts Ferb): Wait a second. Why are you two soaking wet?
Ferb (while leaving): Argh! I give up!
The Flying Fishmonger
(1)
Phineas: How’d you do that?
Grandpa Fletcher: It’s just a little bit of “how’s your father?” I may seem like a barmy old git now, but when I wasn't so long in the tube, I had some grand larks and engaged in a fair amount of daring do.
Phineas: Translate?
Ferb: When he was younger, he did a bunch of stuff.
(2)
Linda: What else did you do today?
Grandpa Fletcher: Well, these two royster-doysters wheeled out me old iron, built a crack and match for McGregor’s gorge, and helped this daft old git have one last neezer.
(Phineas looks at Ferb to translate.)
Ferb: I have absolutely no idea.
One Good Scare Oughta Do it!
Phineas: What did you think the scariest thing was?
Ferb: Definitely the giant floating baby head.
Phineas: Yeah.
The Monster of Phineas-n-Ferbenstein
Phineas: Uh, Grandpa, you were telling us about a giant platypus monster.
Grandpa Fletcher: Ooh, that sounds very exciting. Tell me about that.
Phineas: But you were- I mean- I didn’t- (sighs) I got nothing. Ferb?
Ferb: Platypus monsters are the only monsters to lay eggs.
Oil on Candace
Phineas: Wow. There’s no higher place of honor than the fridge.
Ferb: Especially a giant fridge.
Out of Toon
Phineas: The crowd loves you.
Candace: But they’re booing and hissing.
Phineas: Of course they’re booing and hissing. You’re the villain. Right, Ferb?
Ferb: A hero is a hero, but everybody loves a great villain.
Hail Doofania
(Perry stumbles into the machine and accidentally hits the “self destruct” button.)
Ferb: You know, in retrospect, I question the inclusion of a self destruct button in the first place.
Out to Launch
Candace: Can’t you guys just find some old nuts and bolts lying around and jury-rig up some kind of machiney dealy-bob, and get us out of this situation?
Ferb: Candace, we are just kids.
Phineas & Ferb Get Busted
Candace: Perry was in the dream, too. He was like a super-secret agent or something.
Ferb: Perhaps that’s where he disappears to every day.
Unfair Science Fair
Isabella: I can’t believe you guys built a portal to Mars and didn’t go through it yourselves.
Phineas: Oh, we did.
Ferb: But that’s another story.
Unfair Science Fair Redux (Another Story)
Candace: Can you tell them that I just want a little time to myself?
(Ferb speaks Martian to the Martians.)
Ferb: (to Candace) They say fine but not without them.
The Lake Nose Monster
Candace: So does a non-ferocious, friendly lake monster exist? Do you have proof of that? Hm?
Phineas: Do we have proof? No.
Ferb: Well, if such a creature did exist, I believe its habitat and safety would be all our responsibility to look after and protect.
Interview with a Platypus
N/A
Tip of the Day
N/A
Attack of the 50 Foot Sister
Phineas: So the watermelon shrank?
Ferb: Well, either that or everything else in the universe just got bigger.
Backyard Aquarium
Phineas: Well, I guess Goldie and her friends are headed to the ocean.
Ferb: Well, you know what they say: If you love something, set it free.
Phineas: Yeah, we do that every day with Perry.
Living Gelatin
Phineas: It’s as fun to eat as the crazy, fun things you can do with it.
Ferb: The cartilaginous fibers from the bovine patella structure that gelatin’s extracted from, gives it that fun, bouncy quality.
Elementary, My Dear Stacy
Phineas: Looks like Candace and Stacey did some shopping.
Ferb: I’ll never understand fashion.
Don’t Even Blink
Candace: I don’t understand. I don’t understand.
Ferb: Well, we were all watching it. And quantum theory states the mere observation of an experiment changes its outcome.
Candace. Now you tell me.
Chez Platypus
Woman in restaurant: Platypus restaurants are so four hours ago. Let’s bail.
Ferb: Ah, the public is fickle.
Perry Lays an Egg
Candace: Huh? It was just a bird?
Ferb: That’s not just any bird. That’s a rare whale-song-singing double-breasted angle hooper: the natural enemy of the platypus in the wild.
Gaming the System
Candace: Oh, no, Jeremy’s here. How am I going to get ready in three seconds?
(A laser zaps Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella, which puts beautiful gowns on all of them.)
Ferb: Apparently, do what we did.
The Chronicles of Meap
(1)
Phineas: Maybe it’s the space authorities. Did we do something wrong?
Ferb: Well, it occurs to me that perhaps not all of the modifications I made are technically “street legal”.
(2)
Phineas: Look, he’s headed for that small cloud.
Ferb: That’s no cloud. That’s a space station.
Phineas: I’ve got a good feeling about this.
Thaddeus and Thor
(1)
(Phineas sees Thaddeus and Thor do something and tries it with Ferb.)
Phineas: Gum me.
Ferb: Please.
(2)
(Phineas and Ferb show Thaddeus and Thor their fort.)
Ferb: We don’t, however, have a licorice dispenser. That was a nice touch.
Phineas: Yeah, that rocked.
De Plane! De Plane!
Phineas: Pilot’s instruments? Check. Copilot’s instruments?
Ferb: Check.
Let’s Take a Quiz
Phineas: Hey, look, our game show set instantaneously miniaturized itself.
Ferb: Well, I suppose we could call that the home version.
Phineas: Well, we are home. Let’s play it.
At the Car Wash
(1)
Phineas: We’ll build the best dang car wash in the whole dang world. Dang it. I- I can’t really pull that off, can I?
Ferb: You’re not very street.
Phineas: Yeah.
(2)
Isabella: Oh no, now how are we supposed to save the star-nosed mole?
Ferb: I think he can take care of himself.
Oh, There You Are, Perry
N/A
Swiss Family Phineas
Phineas: We even have indoor plumbing.
Candace: You’re giving a monkey a shower?
Ferb: Yep. It had to be done.
Hide and Seek
Buford: Isn’t the house a little small to play a good game of “Hide and Seek”?
Ferb: Perhaps the problem is not that the house is too small but that we’re too big.
Phineas: He’s right.
That Sinking Feeling
Phineas: Now, this is a ship. My, she’s “yar”. Is she ready to sail?
Ferb: She’s ship-shape in Bristol fashion.
Phineas: What does that mean?
Ferb: What does “yar” mean?
The Baljeatles
N/A
Vanessasary Roughness
Linda: Ferb, honey, aren’t you a little old to be playing in the ball pit?
Ferb: Yes. Yes, I am.
Linda: Okay then. (leaves)
Vanessa: Your name is Ferb?
Ferb: Well, yes, it’s short for- (finds the pizzazium) Oh, here it is.
Vanessa: Thanks, Ferb. See ya around!
No More Bunny Business
Candace: This is an actually living creature that uses carrots for food instead of science experiments.
Ferb: So, why is he wearing a tutu?
Candace: He likes it!
Spa Day
Phineas: What do you say, Ferb? It’ll give you a chance to do your seaweed rap.
Ferb: (blinks once) Okay.
Quantum Bugaloo:
(1)
Candace: So I’m never gonna give up. Never; never; never!
Ferb: Well, at least we know she mellows with age.
(2)
Phineas: Well, it looks like we don’t have to go to the future after all.
Ferb: Some other time perhaps.
Phineas and Ferb’s Musical Cliptastic Countdown
Phineas: Hey, where’s Perry?
Ferb: He’s doing a special appearance on a music video clip show.
Phineas: Hmm. Well, good for him.
Bubble Boys
Phineas: That was Candace driving.
Ferb: Her car control has gotten a lot better.
Isabella and the Temple of Sap
N/A
Cheer Up Candace
Phineas: Coming up next, Ferb Fletcher!
Ferb: (clears throat) So, how about that airline food?
(Entire audience laughs)
Fireside Girl Jamboree
(Candace drags off Phineas, and Ferb realizes Perry’s gone.)
Ferb: Hey, where’s Perry?
The Bully Code
Buford: Hey, you guys wanna hit Slushy Dawg before we go home?
Baljeet: Ew.
Phineas: Nah.
Ferb: Oh, heavens no. Slushy dawgs never get any better.
Finding Mary McGuffin
(Candace and Vanessa are arguing over the “Mary McGuffin” doll.)
Ferb: This is exactly why they took that doll off the market.
Picture This
Lawrence: Why don’t you just build a new skateboard?
Phineas: Yeah, I don’t think so.
Ferb: If it’s all the same with you, Father, we’re going to build the machine.
Nerdy Dancin’
Jeremy: If you want to see what a real dancer looks like, then here you go.
(Jeremy opens a curtain to reveal Ferb dancing.)
Ferb: Well, it looks like my work here is done.
What Do It Do?
Isabella: I wonder what would make someone wanna build something to destroy romance in the first place.
Ferb: Well, if you reverse-engineer the human heart, you’re bound to find love at its core.
Buford: And gross, smooshy red stuff.
Ferb: Yes, love and gross, smooshy red stuff.
Irving: And ventricles.
Ferb: Actually, I think “ventricles” is already included in “gross, squishy red stuff”.
All: Yeah.
Atlantis
N/A
Phineas and Ferb’s Christmas Vacation
Phineas: Ferb, what did you wish for?
Ferb: Take a look at this morning’s paper.
Phineas: World peace?
Ferb: No, no. This one down here.
Phineas: “Local boy gets harmonica”. Hey, great picture.
Just Passing Through
N/A
Candace’s Big Day
Tiana: What about the ice sculpture with all our great adventures?
Ferb: They say the step you’re about to take is the beginning of your greatest adventure yet.
Phineas: Little corny there, Bro.
Ferb: Just teeing up the song.
Phineas: Oh, yeah!
Middle Aged Robot
Candace and Lawrence (unison): Bubble gum, bubble gum running in a sack…
Ferb: Hop to the finish and don’t look back.
Suddenly Suzy
Linda: It’s beginning to look like Niagara Falls out here.
Phineas: Niagara Falls? Know anything about that, Ferbmeister?
Ferb: It’s over 167 feet high. It’s also tremendously popular with daredevils.
Phineas: Ferb, I know we’re gonna do today.
Undercover Carl
Carl: So, Ferb, you don’t talk much, do you?
Ferb: Actually, I-
Carl (interrupts Ferb): Oh, what’s that over there?
Hip Hip Parade
Baljeet: I was going to eat those jelly doughnuts.
Buford: Missed you, Baljeet.
Baljeet: Right back at you, Buddy.
Ferb: And thus the universe is balanced.
Invasion of the Ferb Snatchers
(1)
Candace: So, get me up to speed.
Phineas: The aliens are replacing the heads of all the humans with their own shape-shifting multi-eyed heads, which can then assume the form of the host human.
Candace: Get out. And then?
Ferb: Once they’ve replaced more than 51 percent of all the humans, they can assume control of the Earth for their own nefarious purposes.
Candace: Shut up!
(2)
Scottish guy: Oh, I wish you were there, Ferb.
Ferb: So do I. Tell Uncle Angus and Aunt Mora thanks for the candy.
Scottish guy: Too right. Scotland out. Peace.
Ain’t No Kiddie Ride
N/A
Not Phineas and Ferb
Phineas: (sings) Space Adventure! An adventure in… (speaks) Know what, Ferb?
Ferb: We’re over it.
Phineas: Yes. Yes, we are.
Phineas and Ferb-Busters
N/A
The Lizard Whisperer
Isabella: There’s no way we can catch him. He moves too fast. Maybe we should just give up.
Ferb: Give up? Give up? The day may come when we’ll give up on fruitless searches after a mere 11 minutes, but that day is not today. The day may come when our favorite reptile may be lost from our memories and his enduring love of mushrooms forgotten, but that day is not today. Today we search. We will search for him in the streets. We will search for him in the trenches. We will search for him in the alleys and the mini-malls and the cul-de-sacs of this fair land. We’ll search for him in the multi-level car parks and municipal recreational facilities. And we few, we happy few, we small band of brothers, and girl from across the street, we shall not cease till he is found.
(Audience cheers)
Robot Rodeo
(Ferb is the commentator at the rodeo.)
Ferb: All right, cowboys and cowgirls, it’s time to get along, little doggy, or even a short little doggy. I’m here all week. Try the veal.
The Beak
Isabella: By the way, Phineas, you were very brave.
Phineas: Thanks. You were too.
Ferb: Um, hello. Entire lower half of amazing superhero here. (sighs) I guess there’s no glory in the thighs.
She’s the Mayor
Phineas: It took a whole lot of…hard work to build this town. We should be proud.
Ferb: Let’s never do that again.
Phineas: Agreed.
The Lemonade Stand
Linda: Hi boys. So, what did you two do today?
Ferb: Just normal mediocre kid stuff.
Linda: Sounds great.
Phineas & Ferb's Hawaiian Vacation
(1)
Phineas: Do you smell what I smell, Ferb?
Ferb: (sniffs the air) Mmm-mm. Magma.
(2)
Phineas: How are we gonna round up the a-primes?
Ferb: (picks up the phone) Hello? Room service?
(3)
Laird Hamilton: Say, aren’t you dudes a little young to be riding this kind of surf?
Ferb: No worries, Bro. We’re just gonna hot dog this honker past the boneyard to the sand.
Phineas: You got that off the internet, didn’t you?
Ferb: Yes. Yes, I did.
Summer Belongs to You
(1)
Ferb: Clay Aiken?
Phineas: Yeah, I hired a stunt singer.
(2)
Ferb: (in Japanese) Hello. We are friends of Stacy!
Woman: (in English) Hey everybody! Phineas and Ferb are here!
(3)
Vanessa: F-Ferb?
Ferb: Vanessa?
Phineas: No matter where we go, Ferb knows everyone.
(4)
Candace: Start the plane!
Phineas: Sounds like you’re flooding it.
Ferb: I’m not flooding it.
(5)
Vanessa: [My dad] always seems to put his work ahead of me. (sighs) I just don’t know what to do.
Ferb: Well, sometimes if you love somebody, you have to meet them halfway.
Vanessa: Halfway, huh? Hmm.
(6)
Phineas: Hey Ferb, where’s Vanessa?
Ferb: She went off with someone else.
Phineas: That’s too bad.
(7)
Phineas: Well, [Candace] you got on this plane…which means you believed in us.
Ferb: And we believe in you.
Nerds of a Feather
(1)
Phineas: May the luck of Slafon be with you.
Ferb: Always.
(2)
Clive Addison: I’ll hire the both of you in a heartbeat.
Ferb: Actually, what I’d love to do is direct.
Clive Addison: Oh, you and me, both.
The Wizard of Odd
Phineas: Well, this is fun. It’s a little girly for us, isn’t it?
Ferb: Well, it is Candace’s dream.
Key:
Bold - The Ferb quote
(Italic) - An action during the scene
N/A - Ferb did not speak during episode
Rollercoaster
Isabella: Maybe you can teach Perry some tricks.
Phineas: Well, he is a platypus. They don’t do much.
Ferb: They’re the only mammals to lay eggs.
Phineas: Maybe he’ll lay an egg.
Lawn Gnome Beach Party of Terror
DJ: Slather on your sunscreen, listeners, ‘cause tomorrow’s weather calls for another scorcher.
Ferb: With a slight chance of scattered lawn gnomes.
Flop Starz
N/A
The Fast and the Phineas
N/A
Lights, Candace, Action
Phineas: I bet everyone we know saw it. Enjoy it while it lasts, Candace. Fame is fleeting…
Ferb: But the internet is forever.
Raging Bully
Phineas (to Buford): I like to keep moving forward.
Ferb: Sharks have to continue to move forward, or they’ll drown.
Buford: You callin’ me a shark?
(Ferb pinches a pressure point in Buford’s neck; he faints and falls.)
Phineas: Ferb!
Ferb: Well, he was all up in my face.
Candace Loses her Head
Phineas: Did you like your birthday present?
Candace: Uh-huh.
Ferb: Well, it was definitely better than the gorilla in the cake.
I, Brobot
N/A
Run Away Runway
Candace: Well, just remember, Gaston said I’ll always be his “coup de crayon”.
Ferb: You do realize that that’s French for pencil neck.
The Magnificent Few
(Candace is in a bad mood)
Linda: What was that about?
Ferb: I reckon herding cattle ain’t for city folk.
S’Winter
Isabella: Whatcha doin’?
Phineas: We’re making S’Winter.
Isabella: S’Winter?
Ferb: It’s a unique and logic-defying amalgam of winter and summer.
Jerk De Soleil
Buford: No, no. This is Buford’s moment to shine. (jumps into the mud pit) Hey, everybody, over here!
(Crowd cheers)
Phineas: Wait, how did he get down there?
Ferb: Perhaps Buford truly is amazing.
Are You My Mummy?
Ferb: You know, mummies have their brains pulled out through their nose.
Candace: (scoffs) The lucky ones.
I Scream, You Scream
Phineas: Ferb, you’re usually so focused. How’d you get those plans confused?
(Flashback shows that Ferb was daydreaming about Vanessa at “Blue Print Heaven”.)
Phineas: Hey Ferb, snap out of it. What happened back there?
Ferb: I was weak.
Toy to the World
(1)
Toy Factory Owner: So, how does everyone like my new suit?
(All employees answer positively)
Ferb: Um, that man isn’t wearing any clothes.
(2)
Phineas: Now who would buy a brick for a toy?
Ferb: It does absolutely nothing.
Get that Bigfoot Outta My Face!
Grandpa Flynn: (laughs) Still a man of few words, I see.
Ferb: Well, actually, I –
Grandpa Flynn: (interrupts Ferb) So, where’s your sister?
It’s a Mud, Mud, Mud, Mud World
Linda: Candace, why on Earth are you all covered in mud?
Ferb: Because she’s a tire-spinning, gear-grinding, clutch-burning, backfiring, paint-tradin’, red-linin’, overheatin’, throttle-stompin’, truck-drivin’ girl.
Candace: And I learned how to parallel park.
Linda: Great!
Mom’s Birthday
Phineas: Glad you liked the card, Mom.
Ferb: It’s a simple post-modern fusion of origami and pop-up.
Journey to the Center of Candace
(1)
Phineas: Yeah, we’re inside Candace’s stomach.
Ferb: That’s creepy on so many levels.
(2)
Phineas (talking about Candace): She’s on her date with Jeremy. That means we’re on a date with Jeremy.
Ferb: Again, creepy on so many levels.
It’s About Time!
(1)
Candace: Take me home! Take me home!
Phineas: Sure, Candace, no problem.
(The time machine gets stepped on by a dinosaur.)
Ferb: This could be a problem.
(2)
Candace: So Phineas, where’s the rescue party you sent for?
Phineas: Hmm. It just occurred to me that I may have misspelled “time machine” on the plans.
Ferb: Well, I hope that’s not going to be an issue.
(Isabella and the fire side girls show up.)
Phineas: Apparently not.
Dude, We’re Getting the Band Back Together!
(1)
(Bobbi Fabulous and Phineas finish “I’m Fabulous”.)
Ferb: May we take that as a yes?
(2)
Ferb (talking to Linda and Laurence): Well, don’t just stand there; kiss her!
Tree to Get Ready
Phineas: Well, Mom, you know what they say…
Ferb: Fun never falls too far from the treehouse.
The Ballad of Badbeard
Phineas: Well, Ferb, me ol’ matie, our first time out as pirates and we come home with a bounty of beards.
Ferb: And perhaps the greatest pirate story ever told.
Greece Lightning
Phineas: It’s okay, Ferb. She’s gone. You can look now.
Ferb: No. Not taking any chances.
Phineas: Hey, look, there’s Perry.
Ferb: Still not looking.
Leave the Busting to Us!
(1)
Candace (imitating Linda):” Why don’t you come in for snacks?”
Linda: Why don’t you come in for some snacks?
Candace (imitating Phineas): “Oh, there you are, Perry.”
Phineas: Oh, there you are, Perry.
Candace: And Ferb says…
Ferb: You know, gladiators were Roman, not Greek.
(2)
Candace (imitating Phineas): “Oh, there you are, Perry.”
Phineas: Oh, there you are, Perry.
Candace: And Ferb says…
Ferb: And that is why I will never wear suspenders in public.
Crack That Whip
(Candace’s rocket-powered roller skates make her fly.)
Jeremy: Hey guys. Candace around?
(Jeremy catches Candace.)
Ferb: Good catch, Jeremy.
Candace: Hee-hee. He sure is.
The Best Lazy Day Ever
Phineas: Oh, there you are, Perry.
Vance Ward (slowly): Where am I?
Ferb: And with handsome movie actor Vance Ward. He seems much faster on TV.
Boyfriend from 27,000 BC
Phineas: They say if you love something, let it go.
Ferb: Especially if it’s a caveman.
Phineas: Yeah. Especially if it’s a caveman.
Voyage to the Bottom of Buford
Phineas: I can’t believe how fast we put this together.
Ferb: Yes. Usually takes us at least a montage.
A Hard Day’s Knight
Lawrence: Anything interesting happen ‘round here?
Ferb: I hear there’s a new version of “Jane Eyre” in the offing.
Traffic Cam Caper
(Candace and Phineas watch as he, who they think is Ferb, flies away.)
Candace: Ferb? Ferb, where are you going?
Phineas: Ferb?
(Ferb slides to them.)
Ferb: What did I miss?
Candace: Huh?
Phineas: Well, that was almost weirder than the giant robot.
Bowl-R-Rama Drama
Phineas: The other is for the world’s largest game of pinball.
Host: Wow! Well, let’s see’em.
Ferb: Wait for it…
Got Game?
(1)
Isabella: This is my house.
Phineas: Technically, it’s our garage.
Ferb: She’s on a roll.
(2)
Buford (talking to Isabella): I guess you were right. Girls are just as good as boys. (to everyone) Thanks again. Woo-hoo, the” F-Games” rock.
Ferb: That was completely out of character.
Comet Kermillian
Candace: Just wait. When I’m 88, you will be so busted.
Ferb: Actually, you’d be 88 ½.
Candace: Whatever!
Put that Putter Away
Phineas: I still don’t know how we ended up at “Little Duffer’s”.
Ferb: I don’t know why we didn’t build it here in the first place.
Does This Duckbill Make Me Look Fat?
Candace: You guys are so busted. I’m telling Mom.
Ferb: You might consider bathing first.
Ready for the Betty’s
(1)
Phineas: Looks like we’re gonna be secret agents, huh? When did you find the time to build all this, Ferb?
Ferb: Actually, I-
Major Monogram (interrupts Ferb): Hello, Agent P. Hang on. Hang on. It’s here somewhere on this clipboard from which I have yet to look up.
Phineas: Agent P: P for Phineas. Nice touch, Ferb.
Ferb: Actually-
(Major Monogram interrupts Ferb and continues what he is saying.)
(2)
Phineas: You really thought of everything, Ferb.
Ferb: Actually-
Phineas (interrupts Ferb): Hold that thought.
(3)
Phineas: By the way, I love that giant ray gun counting down to zero. Okay, seriously, when did you make all this?
Ferb: Look, for the last time, I didn’t-
(The ray gun fires, once again, interrupting Ferb.)
(4)
Phineas: Mom, Mom, guess what Ferb did. He made a secret tunnel and a spy headquarters and a villain’s lair and a hover-jet shaped like Perry. Tell her, Ferb.
Ferb: Actually, I-
Linda (interrupts Ferb): Wait a second. Why are you two soaking wet?
Ferb (while leaving): Argh! I give up!
The Flying Fishmonger
(1)
Phineas: How’d you do that?
Grandpa Fletcher: It’s just a little bit of “how’s your father?” I may seem like a barmy old git now, but when I wasn't so long in the tube, I had some grand larks and engaged in a fair amount of daring do.
Phineas: Translate?
Ferb: When he was younger, he did a bunch of stuff.
(2)
Linda: What else did you do today?
Grandpa Fletcher: Well, these two royster-doysters wheeled out me old iron, built a crack and match for McGregor’s gorge, and helped this daft old git have one last neezer.
(Phineas looks at Ferb to translate.)
Ferb: I have absolutely no idea.
One Good Scare Oughta Do it!
Phineas: What did you think the scariest thing was?
Ferb: Definitely the giant floating baby head.
Phineas: Yeah.
The Monster of Phineas-n-Ferbenstein
Phineas: Uh, Grandpa, you were telling us about a giant platypus monster.
Grandpa Fletcher: Ooh, that sounds very exciting. Tell me about that.
Phineas: But you were- I mean- I didn’t- (sighs) I got nothing. Ferb?
Ferb: Platypus monsters are the only monsters to lay eggs.
Oil on Candace
Phineas: Wow. There’s no higher place of honor than the fridge.
Ferb: Especially a giant fridge.
Out of Toon
Phineas: The crowd loves you.
Candace: But they’re booing and hissing.
Phineas: Of course they’re booing and hissing. You’re the villain. Right, Ferb?
Ferb: A hero is a hero, but everybody loves a great villain.
Hail Doofania
(Perry stumbles into the machine and accidentally hits the “self destruct” button.)
Ferb: You know, in retrospect, I question the inclusion of a self destruct button in the first place.
Out to Launch
Candace: Can’t you guys just find some old nuts and bolts lying around and jury-rig up some kind of machiney dealy-bob, and get us out of this situation?
Ferb: Candace, we are just kids.
Phineas & Ferb Get Busted
Candace: Perry was in the dream, too. He was like a super-secret agent or something.
Ferb: Perhaps that’s where he disappears to every day.
Unfair Science Fair
Isabella: I can’t believe you guys built a portal to Mars and didn’t go through it yourselves.
Phineas: Oh, we did.
Ferb: But that’s another story.
Unfair Science Fair Redux (Another Story)
Candace: Can you tell them that I just want a little time to myself?
(Ferb speaks Martian to the Martians.)
Ferb: (to Candace) They say fine but not without them.
The Lake Nose Monster
Candace: So does a non-ferocious, friendly lake monster exist? Do you have proof of that? Hm?
Phineas: Do we have proof? No.
Ferb: Well, if such a creature did exist, I believe its habitat and safety would be all our responsibility to look after and protect.
Interview with a Platypus
N/A
Tip of the Day
N/A
Attack of the 50 Foot Sister
Phineas: So the watermelon shrank?
Ferb: Well, either that or everything else in the universe just got bigger.
Backyard Aquarium
Phineas: Well, I guess Goldie and her friends are headed to the ocean.
Ferb: Well, you know what they say: If you love something, set it free.
Phineas: Yeah, we do that every day with Perry.
Living Gelatin
Phineas: It’s as fun to eat as the crazy, fun things you can do with it.
Ferb: The cartilaginous fibers from the bovine patella structure that gelatin’s extracted from, gives it that fun, bouncy quality.
Elementary, My Dear Stacy
Phineas: Looks like Candace and Stacey did some shopping.
Ferb: I’ll never understand fashion.
Don’t Even Blink
Candace: I don’t understand. I don’t understand.
Ferb: Well, we were all watching it. And quantum theory states the mere observation of an experiment changes its outcome.
Candace. Now you tell me.
Chez Platypus
Woman in restaurant: Platypus restaurants are so four hours ago. Let’s bail.
Ferb: Ah, the public is fickle.
Perry Lays an Egg
Candace: Huh? It was just a bird?
Ferb: That’s not just any bird. That’s a rare whale-song-singing double-breasted angle hooper: the natural enemy of the platypus in the wild.
Gaming the System
Candace: Oh, no, Jeremy’s here. How am I going to get ready in three seconds?
(A laser zaps Phineas, Ferb, and Isabella, which puts beautiful gowns on all of them.)
Ferb: Apparently, do what we did.
The Chronicles of Meap
(1)
Phineas: Maybe it’s the space authorities. Did we do something wrong?
Ferb: Well, it occurs to me that perhaps not all of the modifications I made are technically “street legal”.
(2)
Phineas: Look, he’s headed for that small cloud.
Ferb: That’s no cloud. That’s a space station.
Phineas: I’ve got a good feeling about this.
Thaddeus and Thor
(1)
(Phineas sees Thaddeus and Thor do something and tries it with Ferb.)
Phineas: Gum me.
Ferb: Please.
(2)
(Phineas and Ferb show Thaddeus and Thor their fort.)
Ferb: We don’t, however, have a licorice dispenser. That was a nice touch.
Phineas: Yeah, that rocked.
De Plane! De Plane!
Phineas: Pilot’s instruments? Check. Copilot’s instruments?
Ferb: Check.
Let’s Take a Quiz
Phineas: Hey, look, our game show set instantaneously miniaturized itself.
Ferb: Well, I suppose we could call that the home version.
Phineas: Well, we are home. Let’s play it.
At the Car Wash
(1)
Phineas: We’ll build the best dang car wash in the whole dang world. Dang it. I- I can’t really pull that off, can I?
Ferb: You’re not very street.
Phineas: Yeah.
(2)
Isabella: Oh no, now how are we supposed to save the star-nosed mole?
Ferb: I think he can take care of himself.
Oh, There You Are, Perry
N/A
Swiss Family Phineas
Phineas: We even have indoor plumbing.
Candace: You’re giving a monkey a shower?
Ferb: Yep. It had to be done.
Hide and Seek
Buford: Isn’t the house a little small to play a good game of “Hide and Seek”?
Ferb: Perhaps the problem is not that the house is too small but that we’re too big.
Phineas: He’s right.
That Sinking Feeling
Phineas: Now, this is a ship. My, she’s “yar”. Is she ready to sail?
Ferb: She’s ship-shape in Bristol fashion.
Phineas: What does that mean?
Ferb: What does “yar” mean?
The Baljeatles
N/A
Vanessasary Roughness
Linda: Ferb, honey, aren’t you a little old to be playing in the ball pit?
Ferb: Yes. Yes, I am.
Linda: Okay then. (leaves)
Vanessa: Your name is Ferb?
Ferb: Well, yes, it’s short for- (finds the pizzazium) Oh, here it is.
Vanessa: Thanks, Ferb. See ya around!
No More Bunny Business
Candace: This is an actually living creature that uses carrots for food instead of science experiments.
Ferb: So, why is he wearing a tutu?
Candace: He likes it!
Spa Day
Phineas: What do you say, Ferb? It’ll give you a chance to do your seaweed rap.
Ferb: (blinks once) Okay.
Quantum Bugaloo:
(1)
Candace: So I’m never gonna give up. Never; never; never!
Ferb: Well, at least we know she mellows with age.
(2)
Phineas: Well, it looks like we don’t have to go to the future after all.
Ferb: Some other time perhaps.
Phineas and Ferb’s Musical Cliptastic Countdown
Phineas: Hey, where’s Perry?
Ferb: He’s doing a special appearance on a music video clip show.
Phineas: Hmm. Well, good for him.
Bubble Boys
Phineas: That was Candace driving.
Ferb: Her car control has gotten a lot better.
Isabella and the Temple of Sap
N/A
Cheer Up Candace
Phineas: Coming up next, Ferb Fletcher!
Ferb: (clears throat) So, how about that airline food?
(Entire audience laughs)
Fireside Girl Jamboree
(Candace drags off Phineas, and Ferb realizes Perry’s gone.)
Ferb: Hey, where’s Perry?
The Bully Code
Buford: Hey, you guys wanna hit Slushy Dawg before we go home?
Baljeet: Ew.
Phineas: Nah.
Ferb: Oh, heavens no. Slushy dawgs never get any better.
Finding Mary McGuffin
(Candace and Vanessa are arguing over the “Mary McGuffin” doll.)
Ferb: This is exactly why they took that doll off the market.
Picture This
Lawrence: Why don’t you just build a new skateboard?
Phineas: Yeah, I don’t think so.
Ferb: If it’s all the same with you, Father, we’re going to build the machine.
Nerdy Dancin’
Jeremy: If you want to see what a real dancer looks like, then here you go.
(Jeremy opens a curtain to reveal Ferb dancing.)
Ferb: Well, it looks like my work here is done.
What Do It Do?
Isabella: I wonder what would make someone wanna build something to destroy romance in the first place.
Ferb: Well, if you reverse-engineer the human heart, you’re bound to find love at its core.
Buford: And gross, smooshy red stuff.
Ferb: Yes, love and gross, smooshy red stuff.
Irving: And ventricles.
Ferb: Actually, I think “ventricles” is already included in “gross, squishy red stuff”.
All: Yeah.
Atlantis
N/A
Phineas and Ferb’s Christmas Vacation
Phineas: Ferb, what did you wish for?
Ferb: Take a look at this morning’s paper.
Phineas: World peace?
Ferb: No, no. This one down here.
Phineas: “Local boy gets harmonica”. Hey, great picture.
Just Passing Through
N/A
Candace’s Big Day
Tiana: What about the ice sculpture with all our great adventures?
Ferb: They say the step you’re about to take is the beginning of your greatest adventure yet.
Phineas: Little corny there, Bro.
Ferb: Just teeing up the song.
Phineas: Oh, yeah!
Middle Aged Robot
Candace and Lawrence (unison): Bubble gum, bubble gum running in a sack…
Ferb: Hop to the finish and don’t look back.
Suddenly Suzy
Linda: It’s beginning to look like Niagara Falls out here.
Phineas: Niagara Falls? Know anything about that, Ferbmeister?
Ferb: It’s over 167 feet high. It’s also tremendously popular with daredevils.
Phineas: Ferb, I know we’re gonna do today.
Undercover Carl
Carl: So, Ferb, you don’t talk much, do you?
Ferb: Actually, I-
Carl (interrupts Ferb): Oh, what’s that over there?
Hip Hip Parade
Baljeet: I was going to eat those jelly doughnuts.
Buford: Missed you, Baljeet.
Baljeet: Right back at you, Buddy.
Ferb: And thus the universe is balanced.
Invasion of the Ferb Snatchers
(1)
Candace: So, get me up to speed.
Phineas: The aliens are replacing the heads of all the humans with their own shape-shifting multi-eyed heads, which can then assume the form of the host human.
Candace: Get out. And then?
Ferb: Once they’ve replaced more than 51 percent of all the humans, they can assume control of the Earth for their own nefarious purposes.
Candace: Shut up!
(2)
Scottish guy: Oh, I wish you were there, Ferb.
Ferb: So do I. Tell Uncle Angus and Aunt Mora thanks for the candy.
Scottish guy: Too right. Scotland out. Peace.
Ain’t No Kiddie Ride
N/A
Not Phineas and Ferb
Phineas: (sings) Space Adventure! An adventure in… (speaks) Know what, Ferb?
Ferb: We’re over it.
Phineas: Yes. Yes, we are.
Phineas and Ferb-Busters
N/A
The Lizard Whisperer
Isabella: There’s no way we can catch him. He moves too fast. Maybe we should just give up.
Ferb: Give up? Give up? The day may come when we’ll give up on fruitless searches after a mere 11 minutes, but that day is not today. The day may come when our favorite reptile may be lost from our memories and his enduring love of mushrooms forgotten, but that day is not today. Today we search. We will search for him in the streets. We will search for him in the trenches. We will search for him in the alleys and the mini-malls and the cul-de-sacs of this fair land. We’ll search for him in the multi-level car parks and municipal recreational facilities. And we few, we happy few, we small band of brothers, and girl from across the street, we shall not cease till he is found.
(Audience cheers)
Robot Rodeo
(Ferb is the commentator at the rodeo.)
Ferb: All right, cowboys and cowgirls, it’s time to get along, little doggy, or even a short little doggy. I’m here all week. Try the veal.
The Beak
Isabella: By the way, Phineas, you were very brave.
Phineas: Thanks. You were too.
Ferb: Um, hello. Entire lower half of amazing superhero here. (sighs) I guess there’s no glory in the thighs.
She’s the Mayor
Phineas: It took a whole lot of…hard work to build this town. We should be proud.
Ferb: Let’s never do that again.
Phineas: Agreed.
The Lemonade Stand
Linda: Hi boys. So, what did you two do today?
Ferb: Just normal mediocre kid stuff.
Linda: Sounds great.
Phineas & Ferb's Hawaiian Vacation
(1)
Phineas: Do you smell what I smell, Ferb?
Ferb: (sniffs the air) Mmm-mm. Magma.
(2)
Phineas: How are we gonna round up the a-primes?
Ferb: (picks up the phone) Hello? Room service?
(3)
Laird Hamilton: Say, aren’t you dudes a little young to be riding this kind of surf?
Ferb: No worries, Bro. We’re just gonna hot dog this honker past the boneyard to the sand.
Phineas: You got that off the internet, didn’t you?
Ferb: Yes. Yes, I did.
Summer Belongs to You
(1)
Ferb: Clay Aiken?
Phineas: Yeah, I hired a stunt singer.
(2)
Ferb: (in Japanese) Hello. We are friends of Stacy!
Woman: (in English) Hey everybody! Phineas and Ferb are here!
(3)
Vanessa: F-Ferb?
Ferb: Vanessa?
Phineas: No matter where we go, Ferb knows everyone.
(4)
Candace: Start the plane!
Phineas: Sounds like you’re flooding it.
Ferb: I’m not flooding it.
(5)
Vanessa: [My dad] always seems to put his work ahead of me. (sighs) I just don’t know what to do.
Ferb: Well, sometimes if you love somebody, you have to meet them halfway.
Vanessa: Halfway, huh? Hmm.
(6)
Phineas: Hey Ferb, where’s Vanessa?
Ferb: She went off with someone else.
Phineas: That’s too bad.
(7)
Phineas: Well, [Candace] you got on this plane…which means you believed in us.
Ferb: And we believe in you.
Nerds of a Feather
(1)
Phineas: May the luck of Slafon be with you.
Ferb: Always.
(2)
Clive Addison: I’ll hire the both of you in a heartbeat.
Ferb: Actually, what I’d love to do is direct.
Clive Addison: Oh, you and me, both.
The Wizard of Odd
Phineas: Well, this is fun. It’s a little girly for us, isn’t it?
Ferb: Well, it is Candace’s dream.
