Olivia Wilde Interview with Elle.Com 

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"In a way, confronting your worst fear can be cathartic," says Olivia Wilde, who is talking about her new film,

, a poignant meditation on parental grief. In the film, in theaters October 16 and on demand October 23, Wilde\'s character, Sarah, is confronted with the loss of her young child, who was abducted on a family road trip. The story hit home for Wilde, who gave birth to son Otis during preproduction for the movie.

"The process of making this film was an exploration of some of my worst fears," the actress says. "After just becoming a mother, those fears became more pronounced. You\'re suddenly very aware that you are responsible for someone\'s life. Going through the process of becoming Sarah and empathizing so deeply with her—​and exploring the challenges of grief through her story—​allowed me to come out of it feeling even luckier to be a mother and to have my child. It allowed me to be a bit more present with him and mindful as a parent. I found it to somehow be a positive experience for me as a parent in the end. I just came home and loved him a little more than maybe I would have."

It\'s an antithetical reaction to what one might expect from the poetically sad project, which was directed by Reed Morano and costars Luke Wilson as Sarah\'s struggling husband, Phil. As the story unfolds we watch Sarah become disconnected from society, invested only in transitory attempts to bandage her pain with drugs, cutting, and sex. It\'s a raw, intimate portrait of a woman consciously allowing herself to go off the rails, and Sarah\'s internal pain is mirrored by Wilde\'s disheveled appearance, which is essentially makeup-less throughout. It\'s hard to watch, but it\'s equally as hard to look away from.

"It\'s interesting to see someone become unself-conscious," Wilde says. "It\'s interesting to see someone lose the sense of belonging in society. It\'s something we all subconsciously long for: to stop playing by the rules. We wake up and we follow a plan that\'s been laid out for us. And we\'re all aware of the subtle desire to not play by those rules and what would happen. What would happen if we all stopped doing that?"

For Wilde, the experience of seeing a woman come undone is something we\'re unaccustomed to seeing on-screen. It\'s also a way to live vicariously. "It can be a fascinating thing to watch," she says. "I found myself walking around New York as Sarah and it felt countercultural in an exciting way. There was something about it, if you just stopped giving a f--k."

Wilde felt so strongly about the role and its potential impact that she fought adamantly to be cast in it. After being given the script by her agent and hearing that a lot of actresses were coveting the role, Wilde met with Morano at the Bowery Hotel in New York in early 2013. They spent more than two hours discussing the film and motherhood, and at the end Wilde took her shot.

"I said, \'Look, I know everyone\'s coming after you for this role,\'" Wilde recounts. "She said, \'Yeah, it\'s kind of insane.\' I said, \'That\'s great. But I think you should come to my house and film me doing a few scenes. If you don\'t think I\'m right for it, I won\'t bother you anymore. But I think I\'m right for this part and I think we should make this movie together.\' She came to my house and she filmed a couple scenes. To my delight, she offered me the role the next day." Wilde also signed on as producer.

Together, Morano and Wilde worked to ensure that any sense of melodrama was excluded. As such, the film makes no judgments about grief, nor does it tell the viewer how to handle the impact of a loss. "We were allowing ourselves to feel the depth of that heartbreak in order to tell a more powerful and honest story," Wilde says. "There\'s something cathartic that comes from that experience, and there\'s something valuable about living through it and coming out a little more aware of how fortunate we are."

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